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Psychiatrist Claims: “The Onion Sucks. Only Left-Wing Misfits Read It.”

“Your average Onion reader is usually a social misfit and a liberal son of a bitch with no fucking brain,”  said a furious Dr.  Dean Traherne, the outrageously outspoken Vegas Psychiatrist who owns and operates Trent Institute For Social Outcasts and Misfits in Las Vegas, Nevada, USA. “They’re usually people who enjoy shocking others by talking about their Atheism and being all proud that they are godless — they are fucktards.   I have parents from all over the country who are trying to

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Robert De Niro is an Asshole.

Robert DeNiro is an asshole — at least that’s what a lot of people think.  I guess playing a gangster too many times has gone to his head. NOTE: PIcture of DeNiro pushing around a Hollywood writer who called him an asshole to his face – D D. Matt Gets shoved and pushed by De Niro   <—Click here.  He’s trying really hard to make his public persona so different from his on-film persona that he has gone over the edge. “He might really

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Extreme Coupons, Couponers and Couponing: A Serious Mental Illness.

Psychiatrists in the USA are seeing an increase in people who call themselves, “Extreme Couponers.”    These are people who comb through every newspaper and store circular and online coupon site for the best deals on supermarket items.   A recent show on TLC showcases these individuals who had previously lived in a kind of secret society — but it’s a society of one and that “one” could very well be suffering from serious mental illness. Pictures of extreme couponers here —–> Direct photo “Many extreme

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I know that many people do like to shoot things. For some, this is not just pleasure, but necessity. However, some question why they insist on putting films of these shootings out in public. Who wants to see you singing in the bath with your rubber duck? And who wants to see Go Daddy CEO Bob Parsons shooting an elephant and posing proudly over its dead body whhile his black t-shirt reveals his man boobs which look more like old

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New York Catskill Mountains – BIGFOOT HOTSPOT!

New York Catskill Mountains – BIGFOOT HOTSPOT! After years of speculation that something was “going on out there,”  residents and past visitors to the Northern Catskill Mountains are starting to be taken seriously about a Bigfoot-like creature many  reported to have seen.   To date there have been hundreds of police reports, and the sightings are becoming more and more frequent in this lush area of mountains, hills and forests “I filed a report with the local police over ten years

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Astrologer picks winning Powerball numbers. TheDamienZone.com

 “God gave me a gift but I will never use that gift for profit or gain lest I burn in hell as a sorcerer.”    Countess Maria DeRenzatto after being told that the numbers she predicted for Capricorns were the winning numbers in a recent multimillion dollar lottery drawing. [Countess DeRenzatto].    Astrologer, A Reclusive Countess in exile, picks winning Powerball numbers. TheDamienZone.com An Italian Countess who lives quietly in a small, New Jersey apartment, publicly predicted the winning Powerball numbers for Capricorners

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Marilyn Monroe to be exhumed and remains taken to museum.

Marilyn Monroe’s estate is quickly running out of money according to a source close to her finances.  In order to keep the money flowing, the grave of Marilyn Monroe will be opened next year and her remains will be put on display in a glass box that will tour the world. “Marilyn Monroe was an autopsy case, ” said master embalmer Johann Bellis of the Society For Mortuary and Funereal Understanding.  “An autopsied body, even though it has been embalmed,

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Friends fear: “Juliette Lewis stayed mildly retarded after filming “THE OTHER SISTER.”

“She used to be a bright girl — so full of knowledge,” said a source close to What’s Eating Gilbert Grape and The Other Sister star and former gal pal to Brad Pitt Juliette Lewis. “After she played the retarded girl in that movie The Other Sister she kind of…well she kind of stayed retarded.  You could tell by the look in her eyes.  It was kind of vacant.  She didn’t look like that before and I think that’s why

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