YOUR DINNER PARTY ENDS BECAUSE PEOPLE NEED TO FART AND POOP. by: David D. Mattia <— click on my name — READ ABOUT ME — I need the exposure . So, you’re having a Hawaiian-themed dinner party, and you’ve invited about twenty-five of your friends, family, neighbors and/or acquaintances. You’ve got wine, beer, booze and food, food, FOOD! You’ve set it all up nicely on a few tables. The wine you chose -Yellow Tail of course – is displayed with colorful plastic cups
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Kimberly Guilfoyle Has A Gorilla-Son Who Is Truly An Anomaly. by: David D. Mattia <— click on my name — READ ABOUT ME — I need the exposure . Former Fox News chick, Kimberly Guilfoyle, has announce publicly that she has a son no one knows about, but now she feels that she has kept the secret for too long. Her son, a semi-marginally talented rap singer and politically sophomoric chatterbox, has been living under a fake name because he is the product
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Johnny Depp Diagnosed with FOREIGN ACCENT SYNDROME ! by: Don Wyman <— This is a guy with REAL foreign accent syndrome. . Johnny Depp recently did an interview where he spoke about his role as Tonto in the Lone Ranger movie he made several years back. In that interview, a lot of people — including quite a few physicians and speech pathologists — were shocked at his strange English-sounding accent and hints of other accents in his speech. Seems as though
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IS TRUMP DERANGEMENT SYNDROME FATAL? Doctors say, MAYBE. by: David D. Mattia <— click on my name — READ ABOUT ME — I need the exposure . (Vienna, Austria) Have you taken a good look at some of the vehemently liberal, anti-Trump celebrities lately? Do you see how much they’ve aged since Donald Trump was elected President? The Damien Zone has taken note of what research physicians in Vienna and Boston are now calling TRUMP AGING SYNDROME or T.A.S. It’s been only a
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Swiss Doctors: “Ron Perlman is a cave man” ??? Hollywood actor Ron Perlman – a man who holds the World Record for largest head and face in the history of Grade C motion pictures and television – has refused requests from doctors in Switzerland who asked to examine the structures of his facial bones and ligaments. Doctors at the Bern Institute for Cryptozoic Studies, are trying to prove that Perlman, and other pitiful creatures like him, is either a genetic
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THE TOP FIVE SECRETS MACAULAY CULKIN DOESN’T TALK ABOUT. by: Damien <— click on my name — READ ABOUT ME — I need the exposure . It’s that time of year again, folks. The Christmas Holiday is upon us, and every maudlin sap on earth is getting ready to hunker down in front of their TV to watch MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET – which I cannot watch since Natalie Wood got drownded. (I know the word is drowned, but I
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Senator Richard Blumenthal, the Democratic Senator from Connecticut, has announced that he will quit before his term is up in order to pursue a career in acting and broadcasting. Blumenthal’s actions come as quite a shock to many. especially since he’s been working so hard at disrupting the Judge Kavanaugh Supreme Court Induction Hearings. Some on the Left and Right have accused Blumenthal of spitting in the face of justice, but the sadly lucrative truth is that Blumenthal will spit
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Film and Horse Racing Writer —-> David D. Mattia <——Explains Why Aliens Are Probably Not Really Aliens and Why It’s a Waste of Time to Think About Them. READ ABOUT THE AUTHOR HERE — David D. Mattia (January 17, 2017) I watched a video on YouTube about what will happen to the earth if and when aliens arrive on earth — and it was stupid. The video refers to “THEM” as THEY and to “US” as WE — and it was dumb
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Rants and Raves