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Juan Williams Plastic Surgery on Fox News

On the most recent edition of the Fox News program, THE O’REILLY FACTOR. it was readily apparent that Fox contributor and pundit, Juan Williams — formerly of NPR — has had a great deal of plastic surgery.

“Juan had an eye job (blepheroplasty) and a brow lift,” said a source close to the FOX CABLE NEWS NETWORK.

“Juan has had a bunch of plastic surgery done all at once.  He also had a heavy chemical peel to help hide the effects of teenage acne.  Since all of these procedures were done so recently. Juan has had to wear a lot of extra makeup when he is on the air.  When you combine the heavy makeup ( which makes him look whiter) and all the surgical procedures, mainly around the eyes, the change in Juan Williams’ appearance has changed drastically.

 

An update will follow this late-breaking story.

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Posted by Damien - October 20, 2014 at 8:14 pm

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Kim Jong Un Deposed For Keeping Gay Porn and Male Companions.

kimKim Jong Un, the supreme leader of North Korea has been missing from the public eye for over a month.  Seems nobody has seen him since early September when it was reported by the BBC that the portly Dennis Rodman fan was walking with a discernible limp.  He may have had a limp, but was it a limp leg or a limp wrist?

Rumors are spreading that Kim Jong Un has been deposed because he was caught hoarding gay pornography from Western Europe and the USA in his spacious bedroom, and that he may have been fooling around with a few high priced Eastern European gay porn stars who he smuggled in as “friends” and “basketball buddies.”

“They are making up all kinds of possibilities for what’s going on with him,” said a gay porn producer in Prague.

“He was seen walking with a limp because his uncle’s bodyguards beat him badly when they were tipped off by a computer expert that the Supreme Leader had a taste for Slovakian muscle guys.  

“At first he was given the benefit of the doubt that this was perhaps a Western plot to defame him, but people who know said that his personal living areas were raided and ransacked and that over four thousand  porn magazine were found in his master suite bedroom which is about 6,000 square feet all by itself.  

“Since the stuff has been confiscated, the fat pig has been under house arrest and kept in solitary confinement until such time that he confesses.  The penalty will be death but right now the powers that be are trying so hard to keep this quiet that he might be killed off by saying that he had a fatal disease.  Those people are really crazy.” 

It’s no secret that Kim Jon Il likes black guys with big muscles and that his friendship with American Basketball star Dennis Rodman is really just a schoolgirl crush.

“Dennis Rodman has never had any sexual contact with Kim Jong Il,” said a source close to the NBA star.  

“Dennis was the one who suggested that Kim Jong Un get a penis enlargement over two years ago.  Dennis was unaware of Kim Jong’s penchant for gay porn, but he did know that the Korean leader was sensitive about the smallness of his penis.  Dennis heard that Kim Jong Il’s penis enlargement surgery went well but maybe something has gone wrong with the surgery or maybe he has used his now bigger tool with confidence with gay porn actors.  It’s hard to tell because nobody seems to know anything other than the fact that he was caught with a lot of gay porn magazines, DVDs and downloaded movies on his computer.”

According to sources who are usually pretty reliable, the Korean leader was able to increase the size of his penis from 3.2 inches to a thicker 4.7 inches, which, in Korean terms, is not too shabby.

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Posted by Damien - October 10, 2014 at 5:36 am

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Iowa Couple Leaves $100 Tip Because They Want to be Famous.

mackenzieA bus ride home from the State Home For Iowan Simpletons paid off handsomely for Mackenzie and Steven Schultz when they left a $100 tip to a struggling waiter at a really bad restaurant.

“Steven and Mackenzie stopped at the Kozuki restaurant in Cedar Rapids to celebrate their sixth anniversary because in Iowa it is legal for mentally impaired people to get married provided that one of the betrothed has an IQ of 67 or higher.  Luckily Steven’s IQ comes in at 68 and he was able to marry Mackenzie who lost most of her intellect when it was absorbed by the excess tissue in her gums,” said a source close to the investigation. 

Okay — now shoot me.  Yes, I called them simpletons and I made fun of her gums. Why shouldn’t I?  These two dimwits pretended that they were heartbroken for the struggling waiter who was burdened with 12 tables and no help.  Bullshit.

I don’t believe they did this because they cared or because they’re such wonderful people.  They did it because the whole “photo-of-restaurant-receipt-with-note attached” routine seems to be the newest way to get some cheap-ass fame. Their plan worked too!  They are featured on the cover of every simpleton’s favorite magazine “US” and the extremely slow-minded Today Show — just look for her giant gums.

In my opinion, they don’t give a flying fuck about the waiter.  They just tried to cash in for 15 minutes of fame, and because they are starting their own restaurant nearby.  By smearing a local restaurant under the guise of presenting themselves as super great people, they’re trying to sucker the sentimental simpletons in their area into patronizing their establishment.

Again, this is my opinion — I mean about her gums.  Maybe some people will not think they’re so huge.  Everything else I said about these two is probably true. Gummy and her husband have opened their own restaurant in Iowa and did this as a publicity stunt.  So, unless they’re going to give away free food, I say don’t go to it.

Anyway, the two idiots in question paid their $66 bill in spite of allegedly horrific service and then left the bedraggled waiter a $100 tip.

They wrote on the receipt:  “We’ve both been in your shoes.  Paying it forward.”  So then, like all Good Samaritans do – NOT –  they took a photo of the receipt and posted the whole frigging story on Facebook.  PLEEEEEEEZE!

First of all Hubby and Gummy, if you’ve both “been there” you would know that the waiter (real name D. Kyle Malgue.) was not going to keep the $100.  He would be forced to share that tip with all the other shitty servers and bartenders and busboys who made his job so hard in the first place.  So right there the two of you are full of shit.  You didn’t help Kyle — you gave a few bucks to everyone who works at that dump and you saved the owners of Kozuki from being forced to hire more help.  How frigging stupid?

The answer to that is simple.  The Schultz duo ain’t so dumb after all.  Well — they’re dumb in the moron sense — but they were smart enough to know how to manipulate the overly maudlin and mildly retarded people who rule the roost on most folk’s Facebook pages.  Now they’ll even get on “ELLEN” — the official nation of the Simpletons of the world.

Mackenzie “Gums” Schultz said: “It was very obvious that the issue was being short staffed, not the server. He was running around like crazy and never acted annoyed with any table.  At one point we counted he had 12 tables plus the bar. More than any one person could handle! As I sat there and watched him run back & forth and apologize for the wait, I said to Steven… ‘Wow, this used to be us.’ Waiting tables. I don’t miss it at all and I never loved that job. I did it for the tips.”

Listen up, Mackenzie.  If you really cared and you really wanted to “pay it forward” you would not have taken a picture of the receipt — with your name and the last 4 digits of your Amex card on it no less — on Facebook.  Face it —  you wanted ATTENTION!  Good Samaritans do not look for photo ops.  They don’t even have Facebook accounts.  I hope if you make money off of this, you get your gums filed down.

BY:  Damien LeGallienne — EXCLUSIVE FOR THE DAMIEN ZONE

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Posted by Damien - September 30, 2014 at 11:56 pm

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Mike The Situation’s Face Mole Getting Worse From Stress.

mike sit 2Assault in a tanning salon, writing bad checks, Federal income tax evasion — it’s all in a day’s work for Mike The Situation Sorentino of MTV’s Jersey Shore.  But, as the jowly faced 30+ something moron waits to hear about his sentencing on all of these various crimes, his get-me-a-paper-bag face is changing from a kinda homely guy with a nice set of guns and abs, to a really fugly, cheeky and jowly guy whose abs and guns have gone to “pushing-forty” seed.

The Situation already had a very prominent Robert DeNiro type of mole on his upper cheek, but his recent battles with career failure and the the threat of an extended stay in a federal prison have caused physiological changes which have led to a serious outbreak of excess moles on both his face and body.  The Damien Zone has drawn black dots over the new moles to enhance them and we realize that the photo looks faked.  But he had them covered with makeup and we wanted you to see the new spots.
In a recent court appearance, The Situation’s signature mole was now accompanied by a bunch of satellite moles and spots.  One mole might be called a beauty mark but a cluster of moles is not something anyone would find to be appealing unless they had a fetish for moles or blemishes.
“The Situation might be suffering from adrenal fatigue or adrenal exhaustion and this can cause muscle loss and outbreaks of moles due to the body’s inability to combat the inflammation that comes with excess secretion of the adrenal hormone cortisol,” said Dr. Ray Totondi of The Skylight Institute for Health and Wellness in Zurich.  
“The adrenal glands are two small pieces of tissue that sit on top of the kidneys. They are glands that produce hormones pretty much make or break the way our bodies work.  The hormones important, as far as The Situation goes, are CORTISOL and ADRENALIN.   Too much cortisol – from stress or serious illness — can cause extreme facial and abdominal fatness and loss of muscle.  It also accelerates the inflammation that leads to mole formation as a result of too much exposure to sun or tanning beds.  Too much adrenaline leads to hypertension and abnormal behavior.  The cycle is serious because excess adrenaline production results in excess cortisol production – and so the cycle feeds upon itself.  If The Situation doesn’t get some rest or peace of mind he will eventually become a very overweight man with a huge face and lots of moles and rashes.”
Mike The Situation is certainly looking like his face if puffing up, and lately he has been keeping his body covered up with suits from the Italian Stallion Clothiers in the Willowbrook Mall of Wayne, NJ. USA.   It sure sounds like he is ruining his adrenal glands.  The alcohol doesn’t help either.  If he has ever done steroids, he is a goner. Nothing destroys the adrenal glands faster than anabolic steroids.
Mike The Situation is now facing very serious tax evasion charges, and he had been indicted.  Insiders say that he tried to claim his moles and facial fat as depreciation liabilities that were going to hurt his career.  Do you have symptoms of adrenal exhaustion?  — Click Here and find out —–>Dangerous Adrenal Fatigue.

 

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Posted by Damien - September 30, 2014 at 9:58 pm

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Mother Teresa Fake Quote. “People are often unreasonable…”

mtersaHere is the latest Internet hoax and  the photo that comes with it.  Facebook morons are pumping these out faster than the Franklin Mint pushes out worthless 9-11 memorabilia.

MOTHER TERESA NEVER SAID THIS!  IT’S EVEN ADDRESSED THERE IN BLACK AND WHITE ON HER OFFICIAL WEBSITE.  IT LISTS THE FAKE QUOTES AND THIS IS ONE OF THEM.  HOW FRIGGING HARD IS IT TO LOOK SOMETHING UP BEFORE YOU SHARE IT WITH THE REST OF YOUR MORONIC FACEBOOK SIMPLETONS?

This quote, printed over a photograph of Mother Teresa, is floating around on Facebook.  It is inspiring millions of simple-minded Facebookers — but there’s a problem.  SHE NEVER SAID IT!   There is no record of the Mother Teresa ever saying this and on her official website, this quote is singled out as one of the fakest.   Here is the page Das Quota  If that one doesn’t work, the reprint of the page is printed at the bottom of this.
Devout followers of the Mother Teresa have been trying to tell people in social media for years that this quote not genuine, but we live in the day where all one needs to do is put something up on Facebook and it becomes the law of the land — at least where idiots are concerned.
Why do people on Facebook fall for this baloney?  Last year it was the fake quote attributed to Betty White about testicles and vaginas.  Last month it was all about fake Robin Williams quotes,  and this week it’s about the Mother Teresa crock of bull.
All you need is to be vaguely familiar with how to use the internet — how to research something —  to know that this is not true,   I hate to tell all you people who have been magically hoisted onto a heavenly plane by this quote that it is 100% not true.  MOTHER TERESA NEVER SAID IT.

Please be advised that Mother Teresa did not say or write the following:

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, People may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, People may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, They may be jealous; Be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway.http://www.motherteresa.org/08_info/Quotesf.html

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Posted by Damien - September 22, 2014 at 10:20 pm

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Identity of Baseball Stealing Woman Revealed…

That horrible baseball-stealing woman with the Suze Orman lipstick lesbian haircut — that square-assed  old hag in white pants and a big bully belt who snatched away a baseball from a child, has finally been identified.   Her name is Grennele Brashkowitz, and if you think she is the most hated wicked witch in the world, wait until you hear what she does for a living.

Baseball fans the world over have been wanting to know her identity ever since she snatched the ball away from the unidentified child to whom it was thrown by a Juan Miranda at Minute Maid Park in Houston.

“The announcer on TV said what I did was ‘beyond wrong’ but there is nothing wrong with a kid learning that life is about competition and learning to take the hard knocks,”  Brashkowitz said from her home in New York City where she works as — get this — a child psychologist of all things.

“I was on a cross-country vacation with my life companion Judy, and we decided to go to a baseball game.  I even bought a special outfit at Nordstrom — white shirt with white pants and a huge leather belt — I looked great and I deserved to be on TV.  I deserved that ball too.  That little kid will have a lot of chances in life.  Sometimes she will screw up and sometimes she will succeed.  That’s the way life goes for everybody.   So get over it!”

Brashkowitz is now heading back to her native Quebec since she feels that her life has become unlivable since she snatched the ball from that poor little girl.  She is being drummed out of her job and shunned in her community.

“I didn’t even know the kid was there.  I didn’t even see her, but what difference should that make?  I win!  That is what I do!  In the long run the kid will get on TV shows and whatever but I will always be seen as an evil woman with a big ugly belt.  Yeah, that’s what the guy on the local news said about me.  He said I had an ugly belt.  Can you imagine saying that about a belt I bought for $99.00 and that was with 40% off.  How could it be ugly?  

“I can’t take it anymore in this f****g country and I don’t care what anyone thinks of me or my hair or how out of style they say I looked or that my ass was big and flat like they say.  Yeah, let’s see you live with those kinds of insults and see how long you can take it.   And all this because I beat out a little brat for a baseball.  Give me a break!”

Grennele Brashskowitz is a child psychologist in private practice with four other clinicians.  So far all of the staff has walked out and the partners are in the process of buying her out of the business.  Strangely enough, according to her associate, Daneesh Pargrim PHd. she is beloved by her patients and has never had a blemish on her record.

 

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Posted by Damien - September 9, 2014 at 10:11 pm

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Is Joan Rivers on Life Support? Is Joan Rivers dying?

Joan Rivers will probably not survive this and Melissa Rivers (her daughter) will have to make all the decisions until such time that Joan passes away..  This isn’t Melissa’s first tragedy, but she’s up to the task. [Damien LeGallienne]

 

This is a possible scenario for the truth about Joan Rivers’ current condition as the world waits to hear about the fate of their beloved comedienne.  She will probably hang in there for a few more days and then she will be put in a private room where she will pass away.

Latest reports say that Joan Rivers is now “resting comfortably” in a medically induced coma.  The phrase “on life support” has been heard. So what does that mean? Here are some answers from Hollywood Insider and scientific writer Dave Matt.     

These are not 100% certain facts as they pertain to Miss Rivers, and not even her doctors know what will ultimately happen,  but I will present a very likely scenario for what is probably happening to Miss Rivers and to what may have happened to her — all the elements that led up to her current status as a patient in New York City’s  Mount Sinai hospital.

Early Thursday 28 August 2014 –  Miss Rivers was put under sedation for what some initially believed to be an ENDOSCOPY — a procedure wherein a tube is placed into the throat to have a look at the stomach and esophagus.  This was assumed because the private outpatient center where she went for this procedure describes itself as “a resource for digestive disorders.” 

Later reports stated that she went there to have her vocal chords examined. That kind of work could have been done in a private surgery suite such as this one where Joan Rivers was taken ill with cardiac arrest.  It’s not a great idea, but it can be done.  

In either case, the place where Joan went is a qualified medical office where many wealthy New Yorkers go for private care when they get minor procedures; chiefly, endoscopy of the stomach and esophagus.

During the procedure, it was reported that Miss Rivers stopped breathing and her heart stopped beating.  This unforeseen complication can happen during any procedure where one is anesthetized to any degree — even in a dentist’s chair.

Sources now say that CPR was applied at the clinic but one can assume that more aggressive means of life sustaining support actually began after paramedics arrived on the scene.

Okay, so here is what may have happened afterwards, and in my opinion is probably what is going on now.

Miss Rivers “failed” during the endoscopic procedure and whatever life saving measures they did there — at that very moment — and how well they worked minute by minute — will determine the ultimate fate of Joan Rivers.

If the doctor or doctors who performed the procedure at the clinic were skilled in emergency medicine and equipped for emergency resuscitation — if they had some, any or little success reviving her, she still may have gone for a considerable length of time without adequate oxygen for her body to maintain function.

The degree of oxygen deprivation depends on the amount of time JOan Rivers went without breathing or someone breathing for her via mouth to mouth or by “bagging.”  The organ most in question and usually the most affected is the brain.

The ambulance that came to take Miss Rivers to Mount Sinai — even under the fastest circumstances — would have taken at least 8-10 minutes.

Upon arrival, the paramedics would have started or initiated resuscitation — perhaps shocking her heart with a defibrillator and breathing for her with a bag or mechanical ventilator while or after they rushed her to the hospital wherein more advanced equipment would be available and her condition could be more thoroughly accessed.

Currently, she is said to be intubated/ventilated — on a breathing machine — and she has been placed in a medically induced coma.

There are many reasons for putting someone in a medically induced coma, but in this case these are some certain possibilities.

She may have suffered brain damage from a lack of oxygen to the brain, and they are watching her neurological signs.  This is very likely.  A deep coma slows down swelling of the injured brain.

Miss Rivers may have suffered some extensive organ damage from the lack of oxygen to her other organs as well, and the best way to keep her body oxygenated and to keep her other organs from failing is to keep her deeply unconscious and on a breathing machine or a (ventilator) with an oxygen content that is much higher than ordinary air.  Her body temperature has also been lowered as this seems to aid in reducing further brain damage.

It is now known that Miss Rivers’ life is indeed being maintained by mechanical means.  She might also have been comatose to begin with and the drug-induced coma serves only to ensure that she is in a totally suspended and “stable” state

Another possibility is that Joan suffered some kind of medical crisis at the private surgery center.  She may have had  a cardiac event and/or stroke or one of the many things that can go wrong with a patient before, during or after any medical procedure.

Miss Rivers is 81 years old, and while her energy and her talent seems eternally energetic, advanced age is not in her favour at this point.  When she is removed from life sustaining equipment — breathing and feeding machines etc — she will either continue to breath on her own for an unknown length of time, or she will expire.  The hospital has not said — and will not say — the extent of the  of brain damage, but neurologists will watch her brain functions with electronic telemetry. If she shows little to no brain function, then removing her from the machines after whatever length of time has been determined by her family will either result in her death or continued life in a yet-to-be-determined condition.

My best guess is that she is currently being held in a “stable” condition while doctors address the issues of how much end organ and/or brain damage, if any, may have occurred during the time when she was either not breathing or her heart was not beating or both.

Is Joan Rivers on life support?  Yes — in a sense — essentially she is totally on life support.  I cannot say if her brain is damaged , but it sounds suspiciously like there must be some degree of suspected brain deficit.

Keep in mind that Joan Rivers was taken to Mount Sinai hospital whilst still unconscious.   This is not to suggest that someone who has a heartbeat restored and is now breathing and beating, simply pops up instantly and becomes awake.  That can happen — mostly in movies — but obviously this is not the case here.  The doctors at the endoscopy clinic did not bring her “back to life.”

Currently the doctors ay Mount Sinai are watching her organ functions.  Kidneys, lungs, brain etc.   Her brain is the main thing thrown into this life or death equation.

The other looming danger here — assuming her brain is okay or somewhat okay — is always the fear of ARDS — Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome.   This is what can happen to lungs after oxygen deprivation or trauma to the body or any of its organs.  It is often fatal, but so far ARDS is only something that CAN happen.  At the present time, that issue has not been addressed because her brain function takes top priority.

In the end, the odds would suggest that Miss Rivers was without oxygen for some length of time and this is what they are dealing with now — a brain that has been injured to some extent.

Hopefully she will recover, but the amount of time that has passed suggests that she is only theoretically “stable” having been medically placed in a stable state of “wait and see.”  This is a grim situation.

Her daughter Melissa is by her side making difficult decisions as the doctors do whatever it is they must do in this situation and keep the family informed on her overall prognosis — which is probably very poor at the current time.

The end results will be, partial recovery, full recovery, lingering coma and life support, or death or opting to hasten death by disconnecting her from all manner of life support.  The fact that she will die within the next week to ten days is the most likely scenario.

Melissa Rivers will have to make all the decisions until such time that Joan passes away or she recovers.

 

Let’s pray that Joan Rivers comes to her rest without any fear or pain.

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Posted by Damien - August 28, 2014 at 9:26 pm

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Three People Die From Taking the ALS Challenge in New Jersey.

It started with a trickle of ice and some cold water and now it has taken over the internet. All kinds of people, from high school jocks to 90 year old grandmothers, are taking the A.L.S. CHALLENGE to raise awareness about Lou Gherig’s Disease — and some of them are dying.

Since the beginning of the summer of 2014 when people started dousing themselves and others with icy water and challenging others to do the same or donate to an ALS charity, the ALS Challenge has raised a substantial amount of money, but it has also killed at least a dozen people in the USA alone.

“I was watching when my brother-in-law did the ALS thing in the park with his kids at our family reunion.  Everybody was laughing and having a good time when Mike took the bucket and poured it over his own head.  He let out a gasp like anyone would do when they get freezing water poured on their heads and we laughed.  But then, all of a sudden, Mike wasn’t laughing and he looked up at his wife and he tried to wave for her to come over to him and then he dropped down and turned gray.  The paramedics were there in about 10 minutes but he was dead.  The whole picnic and everything was ruined. People’s lives were ruined.  I think people should just write a check or something.  I know it’s a fatal disease but it’s not worth dying for.” [Raymond Totetundi, Mamaroneck, NY. USA]

Raymond Totetundi’s brother-in-law Mike is neither the first nor the only person to die as a direct result of the ALS challenge, but his death in a crowded cookout park was the first to bring attention to the possibility of serious injury and death associated with the ALS Challenge.

Here is list of three people and the circumstances that resulted in their deaths after taking the ALS challenge.   The first one is strange but true and, of course, it could only happen in New Jersey.

 

1) Concetta DelloFagiollo, age 77,  Belleville, New Jersey:  Mrs. DelloFagiollo was killed in early August (2014) when she took the ALS challenge in a rather unconventional way.  Instead of ice cold water, she used a large pot of ice cold tomato sauce and meatballs while standing in the backyard of her home as two of her sons and four of her grandchildren watched on in horror.

She’d made the two gallons of sauce and meatballs weeks before and then froze it for future use.  She put the pot in the refrigerator so it would thaw out over a couple of days.  Her son says she got the idea to take the challenge when she saw it on TV.

With her grandson’s cell phone cam running, Mrs. DelloFaggiollo’s sons Carmine and Alphonse dumped the pot of tomato sauce and meatballs on her head.  In the video she seems momentarily chilled and she jokes, “I don’t think that Lou Gherig was Italian.”  Then, she falls to the ground and her body starts twitching. The video ends there. EMS was on the scene in minutes but Mrs. DelloFagiollo was already non-responsive and was declared dead a half hour later at a local hospital.

“One minute we were a family having fun with our mother and the next thing you know we’re standing in the Emergency Room of a hospital and standing there while the doctor told us our mother was dead.  It was like a dream because she was right there behind the curtain and you could smell the gravy and meatballs and it was like she was already in heaven and calling us home for supper like when we were kids.  That’s the only way I could describe it.  The doctor was nice but he couldn’t understand the way we felt because he wasn’t Italian.” [Carmine DelloFaggiollo - son]

2) Jolene K. Parlhunter, age 33, Millstone, New Jersey:  Jolene stood under the roof her family’s garage while her brother’s prepared to dump an aluminum garbage can of ice and water.  Her cousin Jennifer filmed the event as Jolene called out the challenge to several of her friends at work.  As Jolene is speaking, her brother accidentally knocks over the trash can and it falls from the garage roof and lands hard on Jolene’s head.  Her skull was crushed and she was killed at the scene.  Police estimated the weight of the trash can filled with a block of ice and water at about 170 pounds.  The block of ice alone weighed 75 pounds. Police have confiscated the cell phone used to film the event pending an investigation.

“She was just getting ready to tell her brothers to dump the water but her older brother almost fell and when her other brother reached out to help him, the can just fell down hard and squashed her head like when  you drop a pumpkin from something high up.  I dropped my phone and ran away screaming because she was all messed up and disgusting.  The weird thing now that I think about it is that her brother’s didn’t even bother to break up the giant block of ice they put in the trash can, so even if they got it right, that block of ice would still have killed her.  Why didn’t they even think about that in the first place?” [Jennifer Smith - cousin]

3) Karl Boulliet, age 66, Keansburg, New Jersey:  Karl took the challenge on a fishing boat out on the expansive Raritan Bay while participating in bluefish tournament.   Karl had just landed a bluefish that, at 25 pounds, was certain to win him the the $1.000 grand prize, and in the flush of victory he decided to take the ALS Challenge right there on deck.   His nephew Taylor-Joe Hudak describes.

“My Uncle K was really happy to catch that fish and him and his friends gulped down a few beers and everybody was like going crazy and having a great time.  Then some guy I don’t know decided that it would be a great idea to use some crushed ice and picnic cooler full of ice and water to make my uncle take the ALS Challenge right there on deck.  My uncle was totally into it.  So like three of us filmed it and he challenged some other guys on the boat and his sister who is my mother and then these guys dumped the ice water on him.  He was cold and shivering but laughing. Then he walked to the back of the boat and while he was walking he just collapsed and was out cold.  He was breathing but we could not wake him up.  It took about 5 minutes for us to get to the dock but by then he wasn’t breathing and the firemen did CPR but he was dead in the ambulance and they said he had a heart attack from the shock. Personally I think that he finally caught a great fish and that’s the way he wanted his life to end.”

Editor’s note:  Most people should consult their doctors before taking the ALS Challenge.  The Damien Zone thinks that it might be a better idea to donate some money to a worthy cause associated with this incurable disease.

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Posted by Damien - August 22, 2014 at 1:49 am

Categories: Across America, Damien Zone, Featured Across America, Featured World News, Health and Medical, Top Stories, World News   Tags:

George Clooney’s Fake Marriage Helps Hillary.

clooney 2

“George Clooney needs a “Magic Johnson” wife to drag along on Hillary’s campaign trail, and it looks like they’ve found him one.  I wonder if George has even met the poor girl yet.” [Damien LeGallienne]
The most recent jibber-jabber in the world of the American Simpleton is now all about the upcoming George Clooney fake marriage. Guys who do hair and women who do nails and housework — confirmed bachelors who work in retail etc., cannot get enough of this malarkey.  They love it because it beats having to learn about something real or important.
The Clooney gang has put the ultra-fake machine into overdrive because they are gearing up for the Hillary Clinton Presidential campaign, and of course they are going to need a wholesome image for their man Clooney.
George Clooney needs a “Magic Johnson” wife to drag along on the Hillary campaign trail and it looks like they’ve found him one.  I wonder if George has even met the poor girl yet.
In any event, the driven nature of the American Simpleton as a variety of humanoid, is to live vicariously through the real or imagined adventures of celebrities and star athletes — people who would step over their corpses in the gutter were they to have a massive stroke on Sunset Blvd.
Putting  that little bit of anthropology aside, allow me to say that nothing about George Clooney besides the shit and piss in his toilet is genuine or sincere or real.  He is the ultimate impostor and the average simpleton in the USA has elevated him to the kind of status that all impostors crave — he is believed and beloved in spite of the fact that his entire life is invented and scripted.
George Clooney has taken impostor-ship to a new level — he thinks he can invent pretty much say, or do, or lay claim to anything and everything and that everyone will believe it.  It’s the worst kind of hubris, and if you know anything about the word hubris (which many of you do not) you will learn that it means more than just arrogance..  It’s a malignant type of arrogance that leads to a tragic downfall.   Yes, it’s true.  Look it up and learn something.

Okay, so let’s examine why George Clooney is an impostor and why the simpletons of the USA and Europe (not so much) think so highly of a man whose only truth lies in the toilet.
George Clooney is not really handsome or virile or sexy.  That’s all been invented by his press people.  For 20 years — in spite of never having had a hit film or TV show —  George Clooney’s people put his “Scruffy in Armani” pictures on People-ish magazines and millions of morons who browse or buy from the rack at the supermarket are instantly conned into believing that it’s a true fact.
It’s Orwellian.  “This is the image of a handsome man and this is what has been determined to be the watermark of male beauty.”
It’s not out of the question that some women and men might find Clooney to be attractive because even the ugliest of the ugly ultimately finds someone who finds him or her to be attractive.
Dean Martin sang the song, “Everybody Loves Somebody Sometime” and for every George Clooney who has a hundred press people working overtime to propagate the lie that their man is an Adonis, there are millions of ordinary to outright ugly guys who have at least one old, desperate slut at the bar chasing after them.
Keep in mind that George is not butt ugly, but in real life he would go unnoticed. He has millions of dollars to take what little he has and work with it so as to create the illusion of good lucks and sophistication and virility.  In my opinion, like Rock Hudson who came before him — and luckily not in him — Clooney is a closet queen who masquerades as a swinging bachelor.  He’s living in a Frank Sinatra movie circa 1963 only this Frank Sinatra has a hint of mint.  He looks 15 years older than he is and his body is thin, frail and ugly and dark and waxed and plucked.   Rock Hudson, on the other hand, was actually handsome and he wasn’t a phony.   Hudson was forced to hide his gayness.  He never stood on sanctimony — playing the gay-adjacent game.
So, Simpletons of the USA, prepare yourself for the new First Lady of the American red carpet because she will be coming to a whistle-stop Presidential campaign spot near you.  Ah yes, Mrs. George Clooney.  Look for her because she has been hand-picked by marketing experts, and she will bring along her shy and retiring and totally phony stupid and politically moronic and untalented husband.  After the election George will back with the guys on  the gay Greek island of Mikonos — and the wife will have a movie career.


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Posted by Damien - August 7, 2014 at 6:30 am

Categories: Across America, Damien Zone, Featured Across America, Featured Hollywood, Featured World News, Hollywood, Top Stories, World News   Tags:

Pope Francis Excommunication Thing is Stupid.

popepopePope Francis, the new Pope who is beloved by the Simpletons of Facebook, has now cranked up the volume of dumbness and put the Facebook morons into blissfully idiotic overdrive.

You see them on your Facebook page, right?   The people who say things like, “I’m really digging this new Pope,” and “This Pope makes me want to go back to church.”

popepopeYes, the Argentinian pop-culture Pope is getting really popular.  Trouble is — he is a phony and he’s kind of dopey and clueless — just like the Facebookers who are digging him.

I can totally understand the stupidity of Facebook Simpletons — they have an incurable illness, but a Pope is supposed to be smart, or at least wise, or at the very least, he should be able to understand the rules of the  job for which he has been chosen.

Recently, Pope Francis made a complete idiot out of himself by publicly excommunicating the Italian Mafia.

Naturally, this extremely dumb edict was greeted with  endless Facebook chatter from the community of “Facebook Simpletons Who Share Stupid Shit.”   

Those extremely dumb Facebook and email “sharers” totally love this kind of stuff — but it’s stupid and it makes no sense.   The fact that it makes no sense and it’s extremely dumb makes it especially appealing to the morons on Facebook — many of whom have already been excommunicated but are basically too stupid to know it.

Allow me to explain.

The Pope does not excommunicate people.  People excommunicate people.

In other words, if one violates any specific doctrine of the Roman Catholic Church — the rules that call for excommunication — one has excommunicated one’s self. It happens in the blink of an eye without any intervention from anyone.  An unseen hand comes down from heaven and erases you from the eyes of the Roman Catholic Church — and probably even God.

Hey, you  might even go to church every Sunday and put money in the collection plate, but for all intents and purposes, in the eyes of the church and God, you are not there.  If you have broken any number of rules, you are instantly excommunicated. You are a non-person.  You are “WASTING WAFERS” as I like to say.

You are, however,  still a Catholic.  And, you’ll always be Catholic unless you convert to something else — because you were Baptized in the Catholic Church. But, as far as the church is concerned, you cannot participate in any of the sacraments and you cannot have a Catholic burial.  Sorry, no incense or holy water.

So, what does this all mean?  It means —  don’t bother showing up in church because in the eyes of the Roman Catholic Church, you are not really there.  You are invisible. That is pretty much all you will ever need to know about the concept of excommunication. 

Let’s first tackle the issue of gay marriage as it pertains to our subject of excommunication since the gay Catholic  community seems to be loving this new Pope in spite of the fact that just about all of them have been excommunicated because they are homosexuals.

One day Pope Franny says a few nice things about gay people and they all start jumping for joy — it’s lunacy.

Catholicism — and just about every religion of the world —  does not not allow homosexuality.  It is written off as a grievous sin in the eyes of God even though God is the guy who made a person a homosexual in the first place.

Regrettably,  it is correct to say that folks who engage in homosexuality — especially the really annoying and dopey ones — have already been auto-excommunicated.  The Pope doesn’t have to announce it on television.

Sorry, honey, but just like Louie B. Mayer said to Joan Crawford when he fired her from MGM,  “It’s already been done, Joan.”

The Pope made an ass of himself when he spoke kindly of gay people a few weeks after he got the big hat, but it made no sense.  How can you speak kindly of people who are thoroughly condemned by the giant organization you lead?

Rules are rules, and unless Pope Franny plans on revamping those rules, he should stop with all of this sanctimonious pandering.  Actually, the pandering is tolerable  — it’s those who are pandered to and loving it who make me sick.

I am not picking only on the gay community of Facebook Simpletons — it’s a whole lot of people — it’s freaking everybody.   If you have ever violated the 6th and the 9th Commandments as they are applied by the Catholic Church of Rome — and who hasn’t —  you are excommunicated.

Is that so hard to understand?  You have been at the church wasting wafers and a whole lot of your own time.

Read these two Commandments carefully.  These are the ones that automatically get you your pink slip. The Catholic Church has never revoked these rules, and as silly as they are, they still apply.

6 – THOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY.

Human sexual activity —  This commandment forbids the actual, physical act of having immoral sexual activity, specifically adultery, which is sex with someone else’s spouse or a spouse cheating on their partner. This commandment also includes fornication, which is sex between unmarried people, prostitution, pornography, homosexual activity, masturbation, group sex, rape, incest, pedophilia, bestiality, and necrophilia.

9 – THOU SHALL NOT COVET THEY NEIGHBOR’S WIFE.

The Ninth Commandment forbids the intentional desire and longing for immoral sexuality. To sin in the heart, Jesus says, is to lust after a woman or a man in your heart with the desire and will to have immoral sex with them. Just as human life is a gift from God and needs to be respected, defended, and protected, so, too, is human sexuality. Catholicism regards human sexuality as a divine gift, so it’s considered sacred in the proper context — marriage.

 So, now that you’ve read them carefully, are you an excommunicate?  Oooooops!  You probably are — if you are a Roman Catholic.  

But alas, all is not lost.  You can get back in — yes you can — if you are truly sorry for what you’ve done and you repent.   But again, think carefully about what is written in those two commandments.

For example:  If you are gay, you have to be truly sorry that you are gay.  Be mindful of that little gay fact before you dive into months of confessions and Papal indulgences.  If you ever go gay again — or if you ever even think about a guy in a bulging speedo — YOU’RE OUT!

Do you see the dumbness now?  Do you see that the Pope’s TMZ style of excommunication is dumb and self-serving?   Do you see how the whole concept of excommunication is dumb?

The Catholic Church is a giant company that makes a lot of money, and they have a whole bunch of rules that just about nobody follows.  If you are a Catholic and you are currently practicing all of the rules of the church, the odds are that you are either dead or in a coma.

Note to Pope Francis — SHUT UP.  You are making a fool out of yourself.

This article was inspired by this Facebook post from someone who is not a simpleton.

Pope Francis — essentially a false idol — has publicly excommunicated the Italian Mafia. But the Italian MAFIA — if you follow the rules of excommunication — has already been excommunicated and they don’t even know it. Seems the Pope doesn’t know it either. This Pope is getting real popular by pandering to the dumbness of the masses — so to speak. All “MAFIA” and GANGS and CROOKS — Mexican Mafia, Russian Mafia, Crips. Bloods — they’re already out — but I guess the Pope forget to announce it. Excommunication is incurred AUTOMATICALLY for certain offenses against the doctrine of the RCC. Just because the Pope announces it, does not mean anyone is MORE excommunicated — but I think the public announcement is kind of cute. Hey, you out there? Are you divorced? You’re out! Are you homosexual? You’re out! Committed adultery ever? You’re out! Murdered anyone? Didn’t go to to church and forgot to confess? Lusted after anyone? You’re out! You’re out! You’re out! I have a new slogan for the Catholic Church — “IF YOU HAVEN’T BEEN EXCOMMUNICATED LATELY, YOU’RE PROBABLY DEAD.”

 

 

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Posted by Damien - June 23, 2014 at 1:08 pm

Categories: Across America, Damien Zone, Featured Across America, Featured Politics, Featured World News, Politics, Top Stories, World News   Tags:

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