Category Archives: Featured World News

Holiday Haters – You’ve Got To Love Them.

hatersGobble Gobble and Ho Ho Ho — it’s that time of year again, folks.

Whoa!  Before you start stuffing your bird and hanging your cheap, twinkling icicle lights,  please know that this little blog entry is not really “about” Thanksgiving or Christmas, it’s about all the alleged mind-manipulating shopping and big business controversies and ersatz super-greed that gets plopped on your Facebook page every f***ing day of the week.

“Basically, it’s about the thoroughly unhappy people who happily hate on essentially happy people just because it makes them happy.” [Dave Mattia].

It’s about American Mediocrities ( a race of people) battling with other various and sundry Mediocrities over bargain TVs and laptops and iPads, while unhappy Mediocrities who consider themselves to be above Mediocrity ( their shared ethnicity) stand aside and complain about it all on Facebook.

It’s not hard to find this repetitive and unimaginative and Mary Mary quite contrary shit.  It’s usually between the rants about some other heinous injustices about which they really don’t give a shit.

Some people are just too f***ing hip to live in earth, right?

It’s also about childishly intrusive atheists getting really angry about something that – in their opinion – does not exist.    Think about this.  Some people openly and defiantly do not believe in any gods or monsters so they hate them  — tell me how that makes any sense.   I always suspect that overt atheists have some other kind of mental health issues.  There is nothing wrong with not believing in gods or monsters, but when you make that your cause, odds are that there is something not right in your head.

Conversely, it’s also about once-or-twice-a-year religious people getting pissed off at the inexplicable ideas and perceived intrusions of the atheists.  There is something very annoying about religious people who put out a nativity scene around now and then wrap it up and put it in the attic until next year.   It’s creepy.

Anyway, it’s about mayhem, and cancelled flights and families stuck in a 20-mile traffic jam while the dead bodies of another family are pulled from the wreckage of a car that didn’t quite make it to Grandma’s house.

It’s about exasperation and disgust and poor preparation and unhappy relationships and breaking bread with the very same people you try hard to avoid all year long.

Okay, you were right the first time.  It’s about Thanksgiving and Christmas.

It didn’t used to be like this, and it doesn’t have to be like this today — especially the gift shopping aspect.

Here’s why.

Way back in the old days, when company owners and executives were not evil and merely out to turn a buck, Macy’s and Gimble’s and Bloomingdale’s were really run by sweet and kindly merchants who  paid the men and women  in their employ with bountiful amounts of money.

These kindly, white European males did not discriminate against minorities and they did not sexually harass the employees.  Everything was happy and fluffy.  Again, the old days were great because Happy Holiday People and the people who helped them to be happy were not evil businessmen.

STOP!

Of course they were evil businessmen, they were penny-pinching monsters — but they didn’t have 200 million miserable jerks  pecking away on Facebook ruining the whole thing for the hapless idiots who friend them in social media, and have to read their annoying shit every freaking day.

Yes, unhappy people,  we need you to constantly remind us that everything sucks and that Jesus is fake and the nativity scene is the most offensive thing that mankind every created.  It’s even worse than the atomic bomb.

Yes, we need you to tell us and the world that Christmas is a Pagan holiday and that Jerry Seinfeld’s idea of a Christmas pole is good and wholesome and better than anything.

We need to know on your every goddam status update all about how the horrible European Pilgrims  were really just evil white European men who gave venereal diseases to Native Americans.

Yes, we really need to hear that shit from you every time you sit down at the computer with some kind of infantile ax to grind.

If you’re wondering why Republicans hammered the Democrats in the last election, maybe you should think about how freaking annoying you are and how your moronic and often vicious opinions sent GOP voters to the polls like ants to a picnic.

Now that I got that off my chest, let’s start with the positive stuff, okay?   It’s always best to start at the beginning, and what could be better than starting on the upside?

So, guess what, all you holiday-hating jerks out there? And I know this is going to really sting — like iodine– but a lot of people truly enjoy Christmas and Thanksgiving and all the other holidays that fall into the realm of this winter thingamajig thing that we do.

Yes, there are people who love this holiday season, and they truly enjoy themselves.  They are content to believe in God and Pilgrims and great wise Indian chiefs who could share the spirit of the wolf.   Bless their hearts.

Yes, now you can buy gasoline and convenience food on Christmas and Thanksgiving because people from various cultures which exist outside of Christianity and other American stuffs open their pumps and milk refrigerators to accommodate you and to earn money for themselves and their families.

Why are some people just happy?   How can this be possible?

Let me explain.

Happy-Holiday-People are able to go about with their Happy Holiday because they are not preoccupied with their own fetid frustrations about god or gods or the Koch brothers or Sam Walton — or any combination therein.

They’re happy because they don’t busy themselves posting endless half-invented shit on Facebook about how the evil corporations are ruining the whole concept of Thanksgiving by staying open for business.

Doesn’t that suck?  Doesn’t it make you sick when other people have fun and family and presents and good health and love and mirth and puppies and kittens?    Does it suck so much that you have to be a complete ass wipe and screw up everything with your negativity and miserable-ness?

Grow up and pretend to enjoy something — for chrissakes.

Reporting exclusively for TheDamienZone.com — Damien LeGallienne

 

Matthew Todd Miller – Portrait of an American Misfit.

saint gerard finalDisclaimer:  If Matthew Todd Miller is really just a spy masquerading as a freak of nature, I hereby withdraw this entire opinion piece.

“This numbskull — and I am sure there is a clinical term for what’s actually wrong with him — has returned from a psycho trip to North Korea where he should have been left to eat golden retrievers and rice, but was instead returned home like a conquering hero.  Saint Gerard never got that kind of treatment — and he cured sick and dying people for chrissakes. 

“Matthew Todd Miller is a guy who looks like a third-tier Gap print model or a demented Catholic saint, and he should be locked up in a nuthouse until such time that he is fit to live among normal people.  The final irony is that he tried to run away and live among abnormal people — which is where he belonged — but the USA and a lot of other highly strange people with odd intentions got him sprung from the nuthouse called North Korea.  Can you beat that?”  

So — don’t you just hate it when mentally sick misfits and losers and weirdos become celebrated American martyrs?  I do– and it happens all the time.

I mean, think about it.  You work hard your entire life and for the most part, aside from friends and family and a few passing strangers, nobody notices you for 80 or so years unless you do something really right or something really really really wrong. A murder conviction doesn’t count all that much because, unless it’s an infamous case, you’ll have to settle for a small advertisement of your life on some small town police blotter.

Actually, the “doing something really really really right” part doesn’t count either, because a lot of people do really right things all the time — and nobody cares. Of course you know the the old saying:  No good deed goes unpunished.

It is true, however, that a really well-placed REALLY RIGHT thing can, at the very least, make you a brief sensation on Facebook or YouTube where the simpletons of the world live only to share and comment and wallow in maudlin sentiment, but that’s the most fleeting fame of all.

You can, for example, donate a kidney to a homeless person and you’ll get half a million shares from people who will have “cried when they saw this” but soon they’ll forget all about it as that story moves down and out through their timeline.  In a few weeks you’ll be left with your fame all spent and your one remaining kidney working double duty.

Then what do you do?  Well, you can hire Montel Williams to go to bat for you, but that gets costly – like the PayDay Loans he shills for on TV commercials — the loans with the 409% interest.   If you think I’m exaggerating, you can look that up.

Anyway, you raise a family, but your sons and daughters are more or less born into the same fate as you.  To quote Quentin Crisp, “You fall from your mother’s womb and roll across the ground under enemy fire until you drop into your grave.”

Sad, but true.

In spite of your best intentions, your children and their children will live their lives virtually unnoticed whilst doing a lot of good things or a couple of really bad things.

Your son could be really great at his job, but his name will never be mentioned in the New York Times or the National Enquirer.  He might get a nod in a trade magazine or something, but the USA will never send an Air Force  jet to pick him up somewhere in the world should he lose his credit cards or his mind.

Of course the USA has its natural born Killer Misfits — like the Columbine freaks — and other assorted dopey teenagers with naive notions who go about destroying lives and killing people.  But then, after the dust settles down at the cemetery and CNN, a lot of people forget that some people are just psycho misfits who should have never been born.

Blame for the Killer Misfit is placed on things like gun control or Prozac or computer gaming.  Incredibly, the misfit who is/was really just a psychopath, rises to great fame because his madness had been attached to all the beloved accouterments that belong to stupid people who believe in stupid things.  I would say that 50% of people with some kind of “cause” are at least a little nuts, or barring all nuttiness, they’re just stupid and they’ve got whatever it is their championing all backwards. It’s play acting.  It’s Darla and Alfalfa putting on a show.

It’s understandable why people like the Columbine Killers and Timothy McVeigh and The Menendez Brothers and even Lee Harvey Oswald rise to great notoriety, but what about the others?  What about the harmless misfits or oddballs who fly under the radar until they do something that’s just plain f***ing annoying?

Take, for example, the most recent misfit named Matthew Todd Miller — a kooky 25-year-old loon who looks amazingly like Saint Gerard Majella — the Roman Catholic Patron Saint of pregnant women.

Matthew Todd Miller is an American misift  — the annoying variety.  In real life he would be trying to be an actor or model or maybe he’d just work in retail as a confirmed bachelor, but instead he decided to visit North Korea and rip up his American passport with the added fun of “seeking asylum.”

Can you imagine this? This isn’t even funny — this is sick.  Even the maniacs in North Korea were able to notice his “hostile acts” and charge him criminally.

It’s very appropriate for Mary Todd Lincoln…I mean Matthew Todd Miller…to look a lot like a famous Roman Catholic saint because a lot of the saints were pretty nutty too.  It’s not easy to be made a saint, and a little lunacy doesn’t seem to have hurt the careers of any of those who have been chosen for sainthood.  This doesn’t mean that the crazy ones were bad people. It just means that you had to be a little nuts to lay down with lepers or see visions of Jesus or Mary or whomever.  But, if the end justifies the means, it’s okay.

Naturally we don’t know the whole story behind Matthew Todd Miller’s lunacy, and we’ll have to wait for his book to come out in March.  In a perfect world,  Matthew Todd Miller will marry Sgt. Andrew Tahmooressi at the church of Saint Gerard Majella, and Fox News’ Greta Van Susteren — bless her heart — will have enough material for a month’s worth of shows.

One last thing.  I am not forgetting the other guy who got sprung from North Korea — Kenneth Bae.  He’s just an innocent missionary — that’s another word for “spy” — but that’s just my kooky opinion.  I love spies.  I think we should have them all over the place.  You can never have enough spies — or saints.

The Secret Gay Life of U.S. President James Buchanan.

james-buchananJames Buchanan was the 15th President of the USA and he served in office from 1857 until 1861 when he was succeeded by Abraham Lincoln.

Buchanan was a bachelor for life, and while living in the White House, his niece was appointed as Official Hostess.

Officially, President Buchanan’s fiancee, Ann Coleman,died from grief back in 1819 when James spent more time working at his law firm than courting his devoted — but delicate — betrothed.  Ann’s death was Buchanan’s handy excuse for never again courting or seeking to marry any woman, but he did like to “busy his mouth” with woodies.

Doctor’s reports suggest that Ann Coleman died from a broken heart, but recent revelations suggest that she actually offed herself with a bottle of Laudenam (morphine, opium, codeine and alcohol) when she found out that her beloved James was enjoying the company of young muscle men from carnivals and circuses.

The recent discovery of a diary belonging to Ann Coleman’s closest friend, Anastasia Hemphill,  has changed the face of that story forever.

“Our dearest Ann was at the time overcome with revulsion when she came upon Mister Buchanan lying nude in a guestroom aloft with Kelvin Osford who was at the time a massive strongman with a traveling carnival.  Both men were in a state of tumescence and James was busying his mouth on the manhood of the vulgar and sweaty behemoth. I will go to my grave knowing that the sight of this horrific depravity led Ann to betray her truest Faith and she preferred instead to leave the Earth with the greatest of expedience.” [Anastasia Hemphill (beloved friend) 1821.]

A subsequent really bitchy letter to Anastasia from a man named Kelvin Osford was found folded inside of this page.  The letter was written by a Dr. Chapman (proxy) at the behest of Kevin Osford who was, “unschooled and of simple mind and unable to write even the simplest letter or salutation for himself.”

“Warmest regards to you, Miss Hemphill.  

“As it would not be socially fitting to present myself in your exemplary company, I share your sorrow on the loss of a lovely young lady and eternal friend, but perhaps you can find solace in the fact that James is sick of mind and uncaring.  He would have been an atrocity as as husband to even the lowest grade of woman.

“Buchanan lives only to be enthralled with the muscles of large and burly men and acts of sodomy. 

“Yes, I was engaged in an unspeakable act when it was discovered by Miss Coleman, but I am only one of many young men who have been well paid by Mister Buchanan to engage in unspeakable acts.  

“I have developed my body with heavy weights and stones and now at age twenty-two I too am caught in the web of decadence and debauchery that is the wont of Mister Buchanan and several of his male companions who worship me as a Greek statue and hand me subsequent sums of money and food stocks.

“I oblige you and seek forgiveness on the loss of your friend.  Please be mindful of the sad fact that I engage in deviant behavior with gentlemen only because my mother in Salem is sick with a cancer on the skin and her financial situation is poor at best. I know that this decrepit copulation with other men is entirely unnatural, but I am caught in a web of sin and deceit and self hatred.  

“Please find comfort in the knowledge  that a marriage joining Mister Buchanan and the dearly departed Miss Coleman would have had a most grievous endurance.  I beg your forgiveness and the forgiveness of our Lord.” [Kelvin Osford – as told to Dr. N. Chapman]

So — according to the close friend of President Buchanan’s fiancee, and the bodybuilder he fancied — Old James liked ‘em big and burly and muscular and dumb.  Seems this guy Kelvin Osford had all of that and more.  By the way “tumescence” means engorged, In other words, she found them naked with woodies and BuchanaN was blowing Osford.  (Busying his mouth).

It’s safe to assume that James’ woody was smaller than Osford’s because other letters exchanged between “Nancy” men of the same era and area often make mention of the large size of Osford’s “tumesence” and his muscles.  It seems that Osford was the hot ticket male “companion” of his day, and in higher class circles, the behavior of the men who fancied him was ignored to some extent.

 

Kaci Hickox Is a Narcissist? I Think So.

kaci“In my opinion, going to work in West Africa was part of ‘The KACI HICKOX SHOW” — her favorite show in the world. 

“If she infects someone, she should be charged with murder. As she is now, she should be charged with reckless endangerment.” 

“She demanded to be sent out of New Jersey and now in Maine she refuses to follow the protocol for health care workers returning from West Africa because, in my opinion, she doesn’t really care about human life.  

“I believe that everything she has done in the healthcare industry is rooted in narcissism and a kind of perverse enjoyment she gets from being surrounded by the dead and dying.  She’s a mental case and there are plenty more just like her.”  [Damien LeGallienne] 

Set aside for a moment the slim chance that Kaci Hickox might have Ebola and take a deeper look at what I believe to be her true illness — her mental illness.

Sounds simplistic, but the first clue that confirms the theory I am about to present is her name.

Yes.  The simple and silly fact that this woman spells her name in an invented way, gives away the fact that she is a crazy person. Her name is probably Casey, but since she seems to be an “all about me” person, she has invented a crazy spelling — for attention.  If her parents did indeed name her Kaci — and spelled it as such — then they’re nuts too and she has inherited their lunacy.

Let me put this is as simply as possible.  Kaci Hickox, in my opinion,  is a sadistic narcissist.  She places value on no one’s life but her own.  Again, I believe she is a sicko in the truest sense of the word.  She has the proverbial “crazy eyes” too.

In my opinion, Kaci Hickox’s face is the face of the worst kind of clinical narcissism.

All of her work in West Africa can now be probably dismissed as null and void. She is not a hero — seems she never really was. Her good deeds were more likely rooted in narcissism and self-importance and not love for her fellow man.

Strangely enough, this is not uncommon behavior. A lot of mentally screwed up people love mayhem and illness, and this is why they like to work in certain fields.

Have you ever taken a look deep into the lives of a lot of people who work at animal shelters or on ambulance crews?  Sure 90% of them are just doing a job, but the rest are kind of sick.  They actually enjoy illness and death.  A lot of people who work in animal rescue secretly harbor joy in crucifying delinquent owners or pet abusers.

Naturally it sounds like a good thing to care about the welfare of injured or neglected animals.  Greater still is the desire to assist people who need an ambulance, but in many cases the true devotion of these types is that they enjoy seeing sick and dying animals and people.  They are drawn to this kind of creepiness.  

Think about it this way.  What if Mother Teresa did all of the things she did not because she loved to help the sick, but because she was aroused by the smell of filthy people and rotting flesh?  Sounds crazy, right?  I am almost certain that Mother Teresa was not motivated by stench and misery, but a lot of people are — and this is why they go into certain professions or vocations.  

Such is the case with Kaci Hickox.  

In the 18th and 19th century,  Kaci would have been called a “night nurse” — someone who gently watches over the sick in the wee hours when nobody else is around and most of the patients kick the bucket.

It was widely known — or at least whispered about – that many or most of these night nurses weren’t really the caring and selfless creatures of God they presented themselves to be.  Instead they were monsters who didn’t want to share the joy of death with others.  They derived perverse pleasure from death and dying and they wanted to be there to watch and be part of the quiet mayhem.  You might find this hard to swallow, but there are all kinds of mentally sick people walking around — and they wallow in the mayhem and misery of others whilst presenting themselves as caring and selfless angels.

In much the same way, Kaci Hickox is a night nurse — the worst kind. In my opinion this woman does not care about human life — she cares about herself. Going to work in Africa was part of her show — her “look at me” gig. If she infects someone, she should be charged with murder. As she is now, she should be charged with reckless endangerment.

Juan Williams Plastic Surgery on Fox News

On the most recent edition of the Fox News program, THE O’REILLY FACTOR. it was readily apparent that Fox contributor and pundit, Juan Williams — formerly of NPR — has had a great deal of plastic surgery.

“Juan had an eye job (blepheroplasty) and a brow lift,” said a source close to the FOX CABLE NEWS NETWORK.

“Juan has had a bunch of plastic surgery done all at once.  He also had a heavy chemical peel to help hide the effects of teenage acne.  Since all of these procedures were done so recently. Juan has had to wear a lot of extra makeup when he is on the air.  When you combine the heavy makeup ( which makes him look whiter) and all the surgical procedures, mainly around the eyes, the change in Juan Williams’ appearance has changed drastically.

 

An update will follow this late-breaking story.

Kim Jong Un Deposed For Keeping Gay Porn and Male Companions.

kimKim Jong Un, the supreme leader of North Korea has been missing from the public eye for over a month.  Seems nobody has seen him since early September when it was reported by the BBC that the portly Dennis Rodman fan was walking with a discernible limp.  He may have had a limp, but was it a limp leg or a limp wrist?

Rumors are spreading that Kim Jong Un has been deposed because he was caught hoarding gay pornography from Western Europe and the USA in his spacious bedroom, and that he may have been fooling around with a few high priced Eastern European gay porn stars who he smuggled in as “friends” and “basketball buddies.”

“They are making up all kinds of possibilities for what’s going on with him,” said a gay porn producer in Prague.

“He was seen walking with a limp because his uncle’s bodyguards beat him badly when they were tipped off by a computer expert that the Supreme Leader had a taste for Slovakian muscle guys.  

“At first he was given the benefit of the doubt that this was perhaps a Western plot to defame him, but people who know said that his personal living areas were raided and ransacked and that over four thousand  porn magazine were found in his master suite bedroom which is about 6,000 square feet all by itself.  

“Since the stuff has been confiscated, the fat pig has been under house arrest and kept in solitary confinement until such time that he confesses.  The penalty will be death but right now the powers that be are trying so hard to keep this quiet that he might be killed off by saying that he had a fatal disease.  Those people are really crazy.” 

It’s no secret that Kim Jon Il likes black guys with big muscles and that his friendship with American Basketball star Dennis Rodman is really just a schoolgirl crush.

“Dennis Rodman has never had any sexual contact with Kim Jong Il,” said a source close to the NBA star.  

“Dennis was the one who suggested that Kim Jong Un get a penis enlargement over two years ago.  Dennis was unaware of Kim Jong’s penchant for gay porn, but he did know that the Korean leader was sensitive about the smallness of his penis.  Dennis heard that Kim Jong Il’s penis enlargement surgery went well but maybe something has gone wrong with the surgery or maybe he has used his now bigger tool with confidence with gay porn actors.  It’s hard to tell because nobody seems to know anything other than the fact that he was caught with a lot of gay porn magazines, DVDs and downloaded movies on his computer.”

According to sources who are usually pretty reliable, the Korean leader was able to increase the size of his penis from 3.2 inches to a thicker 4.7 inches, which, in Korean terms, is not too shabby.

Iowa Couple Leaves $100 Tip Because They Want to be Famous.

mackenzieA bus ride home from the State Home For Iowan Simpletons paid off handsomely for Mackenzie and Steven Schultz when they left a $100 tip to a struggling waiter at a really bad restaurant.

“Steven and Mackenzie stopped at the Kozuki restaurant in Cedar Rapids to celebrate their sixth anniversary because in Iowa it is legal for mentally impaired people to get married provided that one of the betrothed has an IQ of 67 or higher.  Luckily Steven’s IQ comes in at 68 and he was able to marry Mackenzie who lost most of her intellect when it was absorbed by the excess tissue in her gums,” said a source close to the investigation. 

Okay — now shoot me.  Yes, I called them simpletons and I made fun of her gums. Why shouldn’t I?  These two dimwits pretended that they were heartbroken for the struggling waiter who was burdened with 12 tables and no help.  Bullshit.

I don’t believe they did this because they cared or because they’re such wonderful people.  They did it because the whole “photo-of-restaurant-receipt-with-note attached” routine seems to be the newest way to get some cheap-ass fame. Their plan worked too!  They are featured on the cover of every simpleton’s favorite magazine “US” and the extremely slow-minded Today Show — just look for her giant gums.

In my opinion, they don’t give a flying fuck about the waiter.  They just tried to cash in for 15 minutes of fame, and because they are starting their own restaurant nearby.  By smearing a local restaurant under the guise of presenting themselves as super great people, they’re trying to sucker the sentimental simpletons in their area into patronizing their establishment.

Again, this is my opinion — I mean about her gums.  Maybe some people will not think they’re so huge.  Everything else I said about these two is probably true. Gummy and her husband have opened their own restaurant in Iowa and did this as a publicity stunt.  So, unless they’re going to give away free food, I say don’t go to it.

Anyway, the two idiots in question paid their $66 bill in spite of allegedly horrific service and then left the bedraggled waiter a $100 tip.

They wrote on the receipt:  “We’ve both been in your shoes.  Paying it forward.”  So then, like all Good Samaritans do – NOT –  they took a photo of the receipt and posted the whole frigging story on Facebook.  PLEEEEEEEZE!

First of all Hubby and Gummy, if you’ve both “been there” you would know that the waiter (real name D. Kyle Malgue.) was not going to keep the $100.  He would be forced to share that tip with all the other shitty servers and bartenders and busboys who made his job so hard in the first place.  So right there the two of you are full of shit.  You didn’t help Kyle — you gave a few bucks to everyone who works at that dump and you saved the owners of Kozuki from being forced to hire more help.  How frigging stupid?

The answer to that is simple.  The Schultz duo ain’t so dumb after all.  Well — they’re dumb in the moron sense — but they were smart enough to know how to manipulate the overly maudlin and mildly retarded people who rule the roost on most folk’s Facebook pages.  Now they’ll even get on “ELLEN” — the official nation of the Simpletons of the world.

Mackenzie “Gums” Schultz said: “It was very obvious that the issue was being short staffed, not the server. He was running around like crazy and never acted annoyed with any table.  At one point we counted he had 12 tables plus the bar. More than any one person could handle! As I sat there and watched him run back & forth and apologize for the wait, I said to Steven… ‘Wow, this used to be us.’ Waiting tables. I don’t miss it at all and I never loved that job. I did it for the tips.”

Listen up, Mackenzie.  If you really cared and you really wanted to “pay it forward” you would not have taken a picture of the receipt — with your name and the last 4 digits of your Amex card on it no less — on Facebook.  Face it —  you wanted ATTENTION!  Good Samaritans do not look for photo ops.  They don’t even have Facebook accounts.  I hope if you make money off of this, you get your gums filed down.

BY:  Damien LeGallienne — EXCLUSIVE FOR THE DAMIEN ZONE

Mike The Situation’s Face Mole Getting Worse From Stress.

mike sit 2Assault in a tanning salon, writing bad checks, Federal income tax evasion — it’s all in a day’s work for Mike The Situation Sorentino of MTV’s Jersey Shore.  But, as the jowly faced 30+ something moron waits to hear about his sentencing on all of these various crimes, his get-me-a-paper-bag face is changing from a kinda homely guy with a nice set of guns and abs, to a really fugly, cheeky and jowly guy whose abs and guns have gone to “pushing-forty” seed.

The Situation already had a very prominent Robert DeNiro type of mole on his upper cheek, but his recent battles with career failure and the the threat of an extended stay in a federal prison have caused physiological changes which have led to a serious outbreak of excess moles on both his face and body.  The Damien Zone has drawn black dots over the new moles to enhance them and we realize that the photo looks faked.  But he had them covered with makeup and we wanted you to see the new spots.
In a recent court appearance, The Situation’s signature mole was now accompanied by a bunch of satellite moles and spots.  One mole might be called a beauty mark but a cluster of moles is not something anyone would find to be appealing unless they had a fetish for moles or blemishes.
“The Situation might be suffering from adrenal fatigue or adrenal exhaustion and this can cause muscle loss and outbreaks of moles due to the body’s inability to combat the inflammation that comes with excess secretion of the adrenal hormone cortisol,” said Dr. Ray Totondi of The Skylight Institute for Health and Wellness in Zurich.  
“The adrenal glands are two small pieces of tissue that sit on top of the kidneys. They are glands that produce hormones pretty much make or break the way our bodies work.  The hormones important, as far as The Situation goes, are CORTISOL and ADRENALIN.   Too much cortisol – from stress or serious illness — can cause extreme facial and abdominal fatness and loss of muscle.  It also accelerates the inflammation that leads to mole formation as a result of too much exposure to sun or tanning beds.  Too much adrenaline leads to hypertension and abnormal behavior.  The cycle is serious because excess adrenaline production results in excess cortisol production – and so the cycle feeds upon itself.  If The Situation doesn’t get some rest or peace of mind he will eventually become a very overweight man with a huge face and lots of moles and rashes.”
Mike The Situation is certainly looking like his face if puffing up, and lately he has been keeping his body covered up with suits from the Italian Stallion Clothiers in the Willowbrook Mall of Wayne, NJ. USA.   It sure sounds like he is ruining his adrenal glands.  The alcohol doesn’t help either.  If he has ever done steroids, he is a goner. Nothing destroys the adrenal glands faster than anabolic steroids.
Mike The Situation is now facing very serious tax evasion charges, and he had been indicted.  Insiders say that he tried to claim his moles and facial fat as depreciation liabilities that were going to hurt his career.  Do you have symptoms of adrenal exhaustion?  — Click Here and find out —–>Dangerous Adrenal Fatigue.

 

Mother Teresa Fake Quote. “People are often unreasonable…”

mtersaHere is the latest Internet hoax and  the photo that comes with it.  Facebook morons are pumping these out faster than the Franklin Mint pushes out worthless 9-11 memorabilia.

MOTHER TERESA NEVER SAID THIS!  IT’S EVEN ADDRESSED THERE IN BLACK AND WHITE ON HER OFFICIAL WEBSITE.  IT LISTS THE FAKE QUOTES AND THIS IS ONE OF THEM.  HOW FRIGGING HARD IS IT TO LOOK SOMETHING UP BEFORE YOU SHARE IT WITH THE REST OF YOUR MORONIC FACEBOOK SIMPLETONS?

This quote, printed over a photograph of Mother Teresa, is floating around on Facebook.  It is inspiring millions of simple-minded Facebookers — but there’s a problem.  SHE NEVER SAID IT!   There is no record of the Mother Teresa ever saying this and on her official website, this quote is singled out as one of the fakest.   Here is the page Das Quota  If that one doesn’t work, the reprint of the page is printed at the bottom of this.
Devout followers of the Mother Teresa have been trying to tell people in social media for years that this quote not genuine, but we live in the day where all one needs to do is put something up on Facebook and it becomes the law of the land — at least where idiots are concerned.
Why do people on Facebook fall for this baloney?  Last year it was the fake quote attributed to Betty White about testicles and vaginas.  Last month it was all about fake Robin Williams quotes,  and this week it’s about the Mother Teresa crock of bull.
All you need is to be vaguely familiar with how to use the internet — how to research something —  to know that this is not true,   I hate to tell all you people who have been magically hoisted onto a heavenly plane by this quote that it is 100% not true.  MOTHER TERESA NEVER SAID IT.

Please be advised that Mother Teresa did not say or write the following:

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, People may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, People may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, They may be jealous; Be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway.http://www.motherteresa.org/08_info/Quotesf.html

Identity of Baseball Stealing Woman Revealed…

That horrible baseball-stealing woman with the Suze Orman lipstick lesbian haircut — that square-assed  old hag in white pants and a big bully belt who snatched away a baseball from a child, has finally been identified.   Her name is Grennele Brashkowitz, and if you think she is the most hated wicked witch in the world, wait until you hear what she does for a living.

Baseball fans the world over have been wanting to know her identity ever since she snatched the ball away from the unidentified child to whom it was thrown by a Juan Miranda at Minute Maid Park in Houston.

“The announcer on TV said what I did was ‘beyond wrong’ but there is nothing wrong with a kid learning that life is about competition and learning to take the hard knocks,”  Brashkowitz said from her home in New York City where she works as — get this — a child psychologist of all things.

“I was on a cross-country vacation with my life companion Judy, and we decided to go to a baseball game.  I even bought a special outfit at Nordstrom — white shirt with white pants and a huge leather belt — I looked great and I deserved to be on TV.  I deserved that ball too.  That little kid will have a lot of chances in life.  Sometimes she will screw up and sometimes she will succeed.  That’s the way life goes for everybody.   So get over it!”

Brashkowitz is now heading back to her native Quebec since she feels that her life has become unlivable since she snatched the ball from that poor little girl.  She is being drummed out of her job and shunned in her community.

“I didn’t even know the kid was there.  I didn’t even see her, but what difference should that make?  I win!  That is what I do!  In the long run the kid will get on TV shows and whatever but I will always be seen as an evil woman with a big ugly belt.  Yeah, that’s what the guy on the local news said about me.  He said I had an ugly belt.  Can you imagine saying that about a belt I bought for $99.00 and that was with 40% off.  How could it be ugly?  

“I can’t take it anymore in this f****g country and I don’t care what anyone thinks of me or my hair or how out of style they say I looked or that my ass was big and flat like they say.  Yeah, let’s see you live with those kinds of insults and see how long you can take it.   And all this because I beat out a little brat for a baseball.  Give me a break!”

Grennele Brashskowitz is a child psychologist in private practice with four other clinicians.  So far all of the staff has walked out and the partners are in the process of buying her out of the business.  Strangely enough, according to her associate, Daneesh Pargrim PHd. she is beloved by her patients and has never had a blemish on her record.