“Steven and Mackenzie stopped at the Kozuki restaurant in Cedar Rapids to celebrate their sixth anniversary because in Iowa it is legal for mentally impaired people to get married provided that one of the betrothed has an IQ of 67 or higher. Luckily Steven’s IQ comes in at 68 and he was able to marry Mackenzie who lost most of her intellect when it was absorbed by the excess tissue in her gums,” said a source close to the investigation.
Okay — now shoot me. Yes, I called them simpletons and I made fun of her gums. Why shouldn’t I? These two dimwits pretended that they were heartbroken for the struggling waiter who was burdened with 12 tables and no help. I don’t believe they did this because they cared or because they’re such wonderful people. They did it because the whole “photo-of-restaurant-receipt-with-note attached” routine seems to be the newest way to get some cheap-ass fame. Their plan worked too! They are featured on the cover of every simpleton’s favorite magazine “US” and the extremely slow-minded Today Show — just look for her giant gums.
In my opinion, the don’t give a flying fuck about the waiter. They just tried to cash in for 15 minutes of fame Again, this is my opinion — I mean about her gums. Maybe some people will not think they’re so huge. Everything else I said about these two is probably true. There is also a rumor that Gummy and her husband have opened their own restaurant in Iowa and did this as a publicity stunt. So, unless they’re going to give away free food, I say don’t go to it.
Anyway, the two idiots in question paid their $66 bill in spite of horrific service and then left the bedraggled waiter a $100 tip.
They wrote on the receipt: “We’ve both been in your shoes. Paying it forward.” So then, like all Good Samaritans do – NOT – they took a photo of the receipt and posted the whole frigging story on Facebook. PLEEEEEEEZE!
First of all Hubby and Gummy, if you’ve both “been there” you would know that the waiter (real name D. Kyle Malgue.) was not going to keep the $100. He would be forced to share that tip with all the other shitty servers and bartenders and busboys who made his job so hard in the first place. So right there the two of you are full of shit. You didn’t help Kyle — you gave a few bucks to everyone who works at that dump and you saved the owners of Kozuki from being forced to hire more help. How frigging stupid?
The answer to that is simple. The Schultz duo ain’t so dumb after all. Well — they’re dumb in the moron sense — but they were smart enough to know how to manipulate the overly maudlin and mildly retarded people who rule the roost on most folk’s Facebook pages. Now they’ll even get on “ELLEN” — the official nation of the Simpletons of the world.
Mackenzie “Gums” Schultz said: “It was very obvious that the issue was being short staffed, not the server. He was running around like crazy and never acted annoyed with any table. At one point we counted he had 12 tables plus the bar. More than any one person could handle! As I sat there and watched him run back & forth and apologize for the wait, I said to Steven… ‘Wow, this used to be us.’ Waiting tables. I don’t miss it at all and I never loved that job. I did it for the tips.”
Listen up, Mackenzie. If you really cared and you really wanted to “pay it forward” you would not have taken a picture of the receipt — with your name and the last 4 digits of your Amex card on it no less — on Facebook. Face it — you wanted ATTENTION! Good Samaritans do not look for photo ops. They don’t even have Facebook accounts. I hope if you make money off of this, you get your gums filed down.
BY: Damien LeGallienne — EXCLUSIVE FOR THE DAMIEN ZONE
Assault in a tanning salon, writing bad checks, Federal income tax evasion — it’s all in a day’s work for Mike The Situation Sorentino of MTV’s Jersey Shore. But, as the jowly faced 30+ something moron waits to hear about his sentencing on all of these various crimes, his get-me-a-paper-bag face is changing from a kinda homely guy with a nice set of guns and abs, to a really fugly, cheeky and jowly guy whose abs and guns have gone to “pushing-forty” seed.
MOTHER TERESA NEVER SAID THIS! IT’S EVEN ADDRESSED THERE IN BLACK AND WHITE ON HER OFFICIAL WEBSITE. IT LISTS THE FAKE QUOTES AND THIS IS ONE OF THEM. HOW FRIGGING HARD IS IT TO LOOK SOMETHING UP BEFORE YOU SHARE IT WITH THE REST OF YOUR MORONIC FACEBOOK SIMPLETONS?
Please be advised that Mother Teresa did not say or write the following:
People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, People may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, People may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, They may be jealous; Be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway.http://www.motherteresa.org/08_info/Quotesf.html
That horrible baseball-stealing woman with the Suze Orman lipstick lesbian haircut — that square-assed old hag in white pants and a big bully belt who snatched away a baseball from a child, has finally been identified. Her name is Grennele Brashkowitz, and if you think she is the most hated wicked witch in the world, wait until you hear what she does for a living.
Baseball fans the world over have been wanting to know her identity ever since she snatched the ball away from the unidentified child to whom it was thrown by a Juan Miranda at Minute Maid Park in Houston.
“The announcer on TV said what I did was ‘beyond wrong’ but there is nothing wrong with a kid learning that life is about competition and learning to take the hard knocks,” Brashkowitz said from her home in New York City where she works as — get this — a child psychologist of all things.
“I was on a cross-country vacation with my life companion Judy, and we decided to go to a baseball game. I even bought a special outfit at Nordstrom — white shirt with white pants and a huge leather belt — I looked great and I deserved to be on TV. I deserved that ball too. That little kid will have a lot of chances in life. Sometimes she will screw up and sometimes she will succeed. That’s the way life goes for everybody. So get over it!”
Brashkowitz is now heading back to her native Quebec since she feels that her life has become unlivable since she snatched the ball from that poor little girl. She is being drummed out of her job and shunned in her community.
“I didn’t even know the kid was there. I didn’t even see her, but what difference should that make? I win! That is what I do! In the long run the kid will get on TV shows and whatever but I will always be seen as an evil woman with a big ugly belt. Yeah, that’s what the guy on the local news said about me. He said I had an ugly belt. Can you imagine saying that about a belt I bought for $99.00 and that was with 40% off. How could it be ugly?
“I can’t take it anymore in this f****g country and I don’t care what anyone thinks of me or my hair or how out of style they say I looked or that my ass was big and flat like they say. Yeah, let’s see you live with those kinds of insults and see how long you can take it. And all this because I beat out a little brat for a baseball. Give me a break!”
Grennele Brashskowitz is a child psychologist in private practice with four other clinicians. So far all of the staff has walked out and the partners are in the process of buying her out of the business. Strangely enough, according to her associate, Daneesh Pargrim PHd. she is beloved by her patients and has never had a blemish on her record.
Joan Rivers will probably not survive this and Melissa Rivers (her daughter) will have to make all the decisions until such time that Joan passes away.. This isn’t Melissa’s first tragedy, but she’s up to the task. [Damien LeGallienne]
This is a possible scenario for the truth about Joan Rivers’ current condition as the world waits to hear about the fate of their beloved comedienne. She will probably hang in there for a few more days and then she will be put in a private room where she will pass away.
Latest reports say that Joan Rivers is now “resting comfortably” in a medically induced coma. The phrase “on life support” has been heard. So what does that mean? Here are some answers from Hollywood Insider and scientific writer Dave Matt.
These are not 100% certain facts as they pertain to Miss Rivers, and not even her doctors know what will ultimately happen, but I will present a very likely scenario for what is probably happening to Miss Rivers and to what may have happened to her — all the elements that led up to her current status as a patient in New York City’s Mount Sinai hospital.
Early Thursday 28 August 2014 – Miss Rivers was put under sedation for what some initially believed to be an ENDOSCOPY — a procedure wherein a tube is placed into the throat to have a look at the stomach and esophagus. This was assumed because the private outpatient center where she went for this procedure describes itself as “a resource for digestive disorders.”
Later reports stated that she went there to have her vocal chords examined. That kind of work could have been done in a private surgery suite such as this one where Joan Rivers was taken ill with cardiac arrest. It’s not a great idea, but it can be done.
In either case, the place where Joan went is a qualified medical office where many wealthy New Yorkers go for private care when they get minor procedures; chiefly, endoscopy of the stomach and esophagus.
During the procedure, it was reported that Miss Rivers stopped breathing and her heart stopped beating. This unforeseen complication can happen during any procedure where one is anesthetized to any degree — even in a dentist’s chair.
Sources now say that CPR was applied at the clinic but one can assume that more aggressive means of life sustaining support actually began after paramedics arrived on the scene.
Okay, so here is what may have happened afterwards, and in my opinion is probably what is going on now.
Miss Rivers “failed” during the endoscopic procedure and whatever life saving measures they did there — at that very moment — and how well they worked minute by minute — will determine the ultimate fate of Joan Rivers.
If the doctor or doctors who performed the procedure at the clinic were skilled in emergency medicine and equipped for emergency resuscitation — if they had some, any or little success reviving her, she still may have gone for a considerable length of time without adequate oxygen for her body to maintain function.
The degree of oxygen deprivation depends on the amount of time JOan Rivers went without breathing or someone breathing for her via mouth to mouth or by “bagging.” The organ most in question and usually the most affected is the brain.
The ambulance that came to take Miss Rivers to Mount Sinai — even under the fastest circumstances — would have taken at least 8-10 minutes.
Upon arrival, the paramedics would have started or initiated resuscitation — perhaps shocking her heart with a defibrillator and breathing for her with a bag or mechanical ventilator while or after they rushed her to the hospital wherein more advanced equipment would be available and her condition could be more thoroughly accessed.
Currently, she is said to be intubated/ventilated — on a breathing machine — and she has been placed in a medically induced coma.
There are many reasons for putting someone in a medically induced coma, but in this case these are some certain possibilities.
She may have suffered brain damage from a lack of oxygen to the brain, and they are watching her neurological signs. This is very likely. A deep coma slows down swelling of the injured brain.
Miss Rivers may have suffered some extensive organ damage from the lack of oxygen to her other organs as well, and the best way to keep her body oxygenated and to keep her other organs from failing is to keep her deeply unconscious and on a breathing machine or a (ventilator) with an oxygen content that is much higher than ordinary air. Her body temperature has also been lowered as this seems to aid in reducing further brain damage.
It is now known that Miss Rivers’ life is indeed being maintained by mechanical means. She might also have been comatose to begin with and the drug-induced coma serves only to ensure that she is in a totally suspended and “stable” state
Another possibility is that Joan suffered some kind of medical crisis at the private surgery center. She may have had a cardiac event and/or stroke or one of the many things that can go wrong with a patient before, during or after any medical procedure.
Miss Rivers is 81 years old, and while her energy and her talent seems eternally energetic, advanced age is not in her favour at this point. When she is removed from life sustaining equipment — breathing and feeding machines etc — she will either continue to breath on her own for an unknown length of time, or she will expire. The hospital has not said — and will not say — the extent of the of brain damage, but neurologists will watch her brain functions with electronic telemetry. If she shows little to no brain function, then removing her from the machines after whatever length of time has been determined by her family will either result in her death or continued life in a yet-to-be-determined condition.
My best guess is that she is currently being held in a “stable” condition while doctors address the issues of how much end organ and/or brain damage, if any, may have occurred during the time when she was either not breathing or her heart was not beating or both.
Is Joan Rivers on life support? Yes — in a sense — essentially she is totally on life support. I cannot say if her brain is damaged , but it sounds suspiciously like there must be some degree of suspected brain deficit.
Keep in mind that Joan Rivers was taken to Mount Sinai hospital whilst still unconscious. This is not to suggest that someone who has a heartbeat restored and is now breathing and beating, simply pops up instantly and becomes awake. That can happen — mostly in movies — but obviously this is not the case here. The doctors at the endoscopy clinic did not bring her “back to life.”
Currently the doctors ay Mount Sinai are watching her organ functions. Kidneys, lungs, brain etc. Her brain is the main thing thrown into this life or death equation.
The other looming danger here — assuming her brain is okay or somewhat okay — is always the fear of ARDS — Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome. This is what can happen to lungs after oxygen deprivation or trauma to the body or any of its organs. It is often fatal, but so far ARDS is only something that CAN happen. At the present time, that issue has not been addressed because her brain function takes top priority.
In the end, the odds would suggest that Miss Rivers was without oxygen for some length of time and this is what they are dealing with now — a brain that has been injured to some extent.
Hopefully she will recover, but the amount of time that has passed suggests that she is only theoretically “stable” having been medically placed in a stable state of “wait and see.” This is a grim situation.
Her daughter Melissa is by her side making difficult decisions as the doctors do whatever it is they must do in this situation and keep the family informed on her overall prognosis — which is probably very poor at the current time.
The end results will be, partial recovery, full recovery, lingering coma and life support, or death or opting to hasten death by disconnecting her from all manner of life support. The fact that she will die within the next week to ten days is the most likely scenario.
Melissa Rivers will have to make all the decisions until such time that Joan passes away or she recovers.
Let’s pray that Joan Rivers comes to her rest without any fear or pain.
It started with a trickle of ice and some cold water and now it has taken over the internet. All kinds of people, from high school jocks to 90 year old grandmothers, are taking the A.L.S. CHALLENGE to raise awareness about Lou Gherig’s Disease — and some of them are dying.
Since the beginning of the summer of 2014 when people started dousing themselves and others with icy water and challenging others to do the same or donate to an ALS charity, the ALS Challenge has raised a substantial amount of money, but it has also killed at least a dozen people in the USA alone.
“I was watching when my brother-in-law did the ALS thing in the park with his kids at our family reunion. Everybody was laughing and having a good time when Mike took the bucket and poured it over his own head. He let out a gasp like anyone would do when they get freezing water poured on their heads and we laughed. But then, all of a sudden, Mike wasn’t laughing and he looked up at his wife and he tried to wave for her to come over to him and then he dropped down and turned gray. The paramedics were there in about 10 minutes but he was dead. The whole picnic and everything was ruined. People’s lives were ruined. I think people should just write a check or something. I know it’s a fatal disease but it’s not worth dying for.” [Raymond Totetundi, Mamaroneck, NY. USA]
Raymond Totetundi’s brother-in-law Mike is neither the first nor the only person to die as a direct result of the ALS challenge, but his death in a crowded cookout park was the first to bring attention to the possibility of serious injury and death associated with the ALS Challenge.
Here is list of three people and the circumstances that resulted in their deaths after taking the ALS challenge. The first one is strange but true and, of course, it could only happen in New Jersey.
1) Concetta DelloFagiollo, age 77, Belleville, New Jersey: Mrs. DelloFagiollo was killed in early August (2014) when she took the ALS challenge in a rather unconventional way. Instead of ice cold water, she used a large pot of ice cold tomato sauce and meatballs while standing in the backyard of her home as two of her sons and four of her grandchildren watched on in horror.
She’d made the two gallons of sauce and meatballs weeks before and then froze it for future use. She put the pot in the refrigerator so it would thaw out over a couple of days. Her son says she got the idea to take the challenge when she saw it on TV.
With her grandson’s cell phone cam running, Mrs. DelloFaggiollo’s sons Carmine and Alphonse dumped the pot of tomato sauce and meatballs on her head. In the video she seems momentarily chilled and she jokes, “I don’t think that Lou Gherig was Italian.” Then, she falls to the ground and her body starts twitching. The video ends there. EMS was on the scene in minutes but Mrs. DelloFagiollo was already non-responsive and was declared dead a half hour later at a local hospital.
“One minute we were a family having fun with our mother and the next thing you know we’re standing in the Emergency Room of a hospital and standing there while the doctor told us our mother was dead. It was like a dream because she was right there behind the curtain and you could smell the gravy and meatballs and it was like she was already in heaven and calling us home for supper like when we were kids. That’s the only way I could describe it. The doctor was nice but he couldn’t understand the way we felt because he wasn’t Italian.” [Carmine DelloFaggiollo - son]
2) Jolene K. Parlhunter, age 33, Millstone, New Jersey: Jolene stood under the roof her family’s garage while her brother’s prepared to dump an aluminum garbage can of ice and water. Her cousin Jennifer filmed the event as Jolene called out the challenge to several of her friends at work. As Jolene is speaking, her brother accidentally knocks over the trash can and it falls from the garage roof and lands hard on Jolene’s head. Her skull was crushed and she was killed at the scene. Police estimated the weight of the trash can filled with a block of ice and water at about 170 pounds. The block of ice alone weighed 75 pounds. Police have confiscated the cell phone used to film the event pending an investigation.
“She was just getting ready to tell her brothers to dump the water but her older brother almost fell and when her other brother reached out to help him, the can just fell down hard and squashed her head like when you drop a pumpkin from something high up. I dropped my phone and ran away screaming because she was all messed up and disgusting. The weird thing now that I think about it is that her brother’s didn’t even bother to break up the giant block of ice they put in the trash can, so even if they got it right, that block of ice would still have killed her. Why didn’t they even think about that in the first place?” [Jennifer Smith - cousin]
3) Karl Boulliet, age 66, Keansburg, New Jersey: Karl took the challenge on a fishing boat out on the expansive Raritan Bay while participating in bluefish tournament. Karl had just landed a bluefish that, at 25 pounds, was certain to win him the the $1.000 grand prize, and in the flush of victory he decided to take the ALS Challenge right there on deck. His nephew Taylor-Joe Hudak describes.
“My Uncle K was really happy to catch that fish and him and his friends gulped down a few beers and everybody was like going crazy and having a great time. Then some guy I don’t know decided that it would be a great idea to use some crushed ice and picnic cooler full of ice and water to make my uncle take the ALS Challenge right there on deck. My uncle was totally into it. So like three of us filmed it and he challenged some other guys on the boat and his sister who is my mother and then these guys dumped the ice water on him. He was cold and shivering but laughing. Then he walked to the back of the boat and while he was walking he just collapsed and was out cold. He was breathing but we could not wake him up. It took about 5 minutes for us to get to the dock but by then he wasn’t breathing and the firemen did CPR but he was dead in the ambulance and they said he had a heart attack from the shock. Personally I think that he finally caught a great fish and that’s the way he wanted his life to end.”
Editor’s note: Most people should consult their doctors before taking the ALS Challenge. The Damien Zone thinks that it might be a better idea to donate some money to a worthy cause associated with this incurable disease.
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You see them on your Facebook page, right? The people who say things like, “I’m really digging this new Pope,” and “This Pope makes me want to go back to church.”
I can totally understand the stupidity of Facebook Simpletons — they have an incurable illness, but a Pope is supposed to be smart, or at least wise, or at the very least, he should be able to understand the rules of the job for which he has been chosen.
Recently, Pope Francis made a complete idiot out of himself by publicly excommunicating the Italian Mafia.
Naturally, this extremely dumb edict was greeted with endless Facebook chatter from the community of “Facebook Simpletons Who Share Stupid Shit.”
Those extremely dumb Facebook and email “sharers” totally love this kind of stuff — but it’s stupid and it makes no sense. The fact that it makes no sense and it’s extremely dumb makes it especially appealing to the morons on Facebook — many of whom have already been excommunicated but are basically too stupid to know it.
Allow me to explain.
The Pope does not excommunicate people. People excommunicate people.
In other words, if one violates any specific doctrine of the Roman Catholic Church — the rules that call for excommunication — one has excommunicated one’s self. It happens in the blink of an eye without any intervention from anyone. An unseen hand comes down from heaven and erases you from the eyes of the Roman Catholic Church — and probably even God.
Hey, you might even go to church every Sunday and put money in the collection plate, but for all intents and purposes, in the eyes of the church and God, you are not there. If you have broken any number of rules, you are instantly excommunicated. You are a non-person. You are “WASTING WAFERS” as I like to say.
You are, however, still a Catholic. And, you’ll always be Catholic unless you convert to something else — because you were Baptized in the Catholic Church. But, as far as the church is concerned, you cannot participate in any of the sacraments and you cannot have a Catholic burial. Sorry, no incense or holy water.
So, what does this all mean? It means — don’t bother showing up in church because in the eyes of the Roman Catholic Church, you are not really there. You are invisible. That is pretty much all you will ever need to know about the concept of excommunication.
Let’s first tackle the issue of gay marriage as it pertains to our subject of excommunication since the gay Catholic community seems to be loving this new Pope in spite of the fact that just about all of them have been excommunicated because they are homosexuals.
One day Pope Franny says a few nice things about gay people and they all start jumping for joy — it’s lunacy.
Catholicism — and just about every religion of the world — does not not allow homosexuality. It is written off as a grievous sin in the eyes of God even though God is the guy who made a person a homosexual in the first place.
Regrettably, it is correct to say that folks who engage in homosexuality — especially the really annoying and dopey ones — have already been auto-excommunicated. The Pope doesn’t have to announce it on television.
Sorry, honey, but just like Louie B. Mayer said to Joan Crawford when he fired her from MGM, “It’s already been done, Joan.”
The Pope made an ass of himself when he spoke kindly of gay people a few weeks after he got the big hat, but it made no sense. How can you speak kindly of people who are thoroughly condemned by the giant organization you lead?
Rules are rules, and unless Pope Franny plans on revamping those rules, he should stop with all of this sanctimonious pandering. Actually, the pandering is tolerable — it’s those who are pandered to and loving it who make me sick.
I am not picking only on the gay community of Facebook Simpletons — it’s a whole lot of people — it’s freaking everybody. If you have ever violated the 6th and the 9th Commandments as they are applied by the Catholic Church of Rome — and who hasn’t — you are excommunicated.
Is that so hard to understand? You have been at the church wasting wafers and a whole lot of your own time.
Read these two Commandments carefully. These are the ones that automatically get you your pink slip. The Catholic Church has never revoked these rules, and as silly as they are, they still apply.
6 – THOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY.
Human sexual activity — This commandment forbids the actual, physical act of having immoral sexual activity, specifically adultery, which is sex with someone else’s spouse or a spouse cheating on their partner. This commandment also includes fornication, which is sex between unmarried people, prostitution, pornography, homosexual activity, masturbation, group sex, rape, incest, pedophilia, bestiality, and necrophilia.
9 – THOU SHALL NOT COVET THEY NEIGHBOR’S WIFE.
The Ninth Commandment forbids the intentional desire and longing for immoral sexuality. To sin in the heart, Jesus says, is to lust after a woman or a man in your heart with the desire and will to have immoral sex with them. Just as human life is a gift from God and needs to be respected, defended, and protected, so, too, is human sexuality. Catholicism regards human sexuality as a divine gift, so it’s considered sacred in the proper context — marriage.
So, now that you’ve read them carefully, are you an excommunicate? Oooooops! You probably are — if you are a Roman Catholic.
But alas, all is not lost. You can get back in — yes you can — if you are truly sorry for what you’ve done and you repent. But again, think carefully about what is written in those two commandments.
For example: If you are gay, you have to be truly sorry that you are gay. Be mindful of that little gay fact before you dive into months of confessions and Papal indulgences. If you ever go gay again — or if you ever even think about a guy in a bulging speedo — YOU’RE OUT!
Do you see the dumbness now? Do you see that the Pope’s TMZ style of excommunication is dumb and self-serving? Do you see how the whole concept of excommunication is dumb?
The Catholic Church is a giant company that makes a lot of money, and they have a whole bunch of rules that just about nobody follows. If you are a Catholic and you are currently practicing all of the rules of the church, the odds are that you are either dead or in a coma.
Note to Pope Francis — SHUT UP. You are making a fool out of yourself.
This article was inspired by this Facebook post from someone who is not a simpleton.
Pope Francis — essentially a false idol — has publicly excommunicated the Italian Mafia. But the Italian MAFIA — if you follow the rules of excommunication — has already been excommunicated and they don’t even know it. Seems the Pope doesn’t know it either. This Pope is getting real popular by pandering to the dumbness of the masses — so to speak. All “MAFIA” and GANGS and CROOKS — Mexican Mafia, Russian Mafia, Crips. Bloods — they’re already out — but I guess the Pope forget to announce it. Excommunication is incurred AUTOMATICALLY for certain offenses against the doctrine of the RCC. Just because the Pope announces it, does not mean anyone is MORE excommunicated — but I think the public announcement is kind of cute. Hey, you out there? Are you divorced? You’re out! Are you homosexual? You’re out! Committed adultery ever? You’re out! Murdered anyone? Didn’t go to to church and forgot to confess? Lusted after anyone? You’re out! You’re out! You’re out! I have a new slogan for the Catholic Church — “IF YOU HAVEN’T BEEN EXCOMMUNICATED LATELY, YOU’RE PROBABLY DEAD.”
While most of what I call the “S.W.A.F.” community — Students With A Future — at Rutgers University are finishing up their studies and preparing to move onward and upward with their lives, their polar opposites — your garden variety bunch of campus misfits and sub-mediocrities — decided they were going to cause some trouble.
By causing this trouble, the misfits have deprived the normal-minded and otherwise academically inspired class of graduating seniors — Rutgers University Class of 2014 — from receiving a commencement speech delivered by perhaps one of the most politically prominent figures of the 21st century — former United States Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice.
The misfits in question have stolen a great chance for so many students. If these imbeciles couldn’t accept Condoleeza Rice as their speaker — because in their demented minds they have branded her a war criminal — they should have at least given the greater portion of the student body this opportunity of a lifetime.
But…that’s not what misfits do. They are dangerous sleepwalkers who, on the rare occasions when they are awake, are still dreaming in a self-absorbed and stupid land of imagination.
Headed by an intellectually limited cuckoo clock named Carmelo Cintron– who is seeking out some kind of Ché Guevara vibe with his new exalted name Carmelo Joel Cintron Vivas — the campus misfits have done what campus misfits have done for decades – they have formed some “we-really-don’t-know-what-the-fuck-our-beef-is” group called the “NO RICE CAMPAIGN” and what started out as a small bunch of diseased malcontents, soon spread to a bunch of other intellectually compromised students — you know — more losers with lifelong buzzards of non-achievement circling over their heads.
Remember, my friends, the Misfit Syndrome spreads easily on college campuses.
Much like Community Acquired Pneumonia and Meningitis — communicable diseases that spread and kill rapidly on college campuses — the Misfit Syndrome can kill too.
The Misfit Syndrome, however, kills only as slowly as life itself. It takes what could have been a happy and productive life and turns it into a life of stupidity and dumbness.
The Misfit Syndrome drags the afflicted one down while he or she takes away a small piece of common civility each and every day until they’ve made their world and the world around them so coarse and so backwards, that it can no longer sustain human life as we know it.
The Misfit Syndrome is a disease that doesn’t lead to death per se — it leads to nowhere. And, these days, nowhere seems to be a very crowded hangout. It’s the hottest spot in….nowhere I guess.
This would explain why the misfits at Rutgers were totally okay with Snooki giving a speech about her nails and her hair and drunken sex in a Seaside Heights hot tub, but yet they have an incredible problem with perhaps one of the most accomplished African American women in the world.
You mean to tell your readers that some young people at Rutgers protested against an African American woman of great achievement? You are saying, in an open forum, that they protested openly against the female descendant of Alabama sharecroppers who grew up to hold what is perhaps the highest politically appointed positions in all of world government? You say there were some crazy people who opposed this?
Surely this must have been the work of the KKK or skinheads, right, Damien?
Sadly, no, my friends. It was not the work of the KKK or Skinheads USA. It was the work of some incredibly stupid and self-destructive misfits who want YOUR happy moment to suck. That is their entire raison d’etre.
Imagine the prestige of having had someone like Condoleeza Rice speak at your commencement? This is a story so many students could have carried with them for the rest of their lives. Well – better luck next time, kids.
“But there is no next time, Damien. What do we do now?”
Hey, don’t bother me. Take it up with Carmelo Cintron and the rest of the fucked up misfits who fucked up your graduation ceremonies.
Perhaps I can offer this compromise to Carmelo Cintron et al:
If you don’t like Condi, but you’re totally down with a famous black woman giving the commencement address, why don’t you ask the great Joanne Chesimard — aka Assata Shakur — to make the speech?
Yes, I am CERTAIN that Carmelo Cintron and the misfits at Rutgers would have been totally fine with someone like her. After all, JoAnne Chesimard — I mean Assata Shakur — is a great woman — a great African-American/Cuban poet, right?
For the love of god, people, Carmelo Cintron doesn’t even know who the hell I am talking about – or if he does it’s simply because some mentally sick professor taught about her in a class called Cop-Killing Poetry 101. Sounds nutty, huh? Don’t think that course won’t be worked into a curriculum somewhere and sometime in the near future.
Cintron is, after all, a student of “Comparative Literature – Cultural Theories and Practices — that’s what he writes on his Facebook profile. I wonder what kind of half-wit writers he has studied. Certainly he can’t be familiar with the Classics. Those stupid things were all written by evil, white, European men.
So why did they do this? Why did Carmelo — the stupid ass with the greasy razor cut hairstyle he probably got at the Woodbridge Mall Barber Shop — screw up everyone else’s chance of a lifetime?
The answer is very simple. He and his fellow losers conspired to ruin the show because they are not really part of the cast. They are not even in the chorus. They failed the audition. Only P.T. Barnum will hire them….but he’s dead. They are stupid and simple, yet they have convinced themselves that they are very smart and that their ideas and their version of the show is highly profound. They couldn’t get a part in the real show, so they called in Spanky and Darla and Alfalfa and put on their own show.
Also, in all seriousness, they did this because they are undisciplined, unknowing, unlikable, and starved for attention. They do this because they are loathsome misfits.
I have told my readers before that the “MISFIT SYNDROME” is alive and well and easy to spot throughout all of the world. I know this sounds very sad, and if they’re sick they should be helped. But please do not fall into their trap.
In any event, since there is no way to legally quarantine (for life) a few dozen mentally curdled college miscreants from the rest of the student population, Condoleeza Rice graciously backed out of the invitation she received from Rutgers with this statement:
“Commencement should be a time of joyous celebration for the graduates and their families.”
“Rutgers’ invitation to me to speak has become a distraction for the university community at this very special time.”
Now, let me explain what happened here because most people will simply see this as a case where a bunch of college kids made a fuss. You know — hehe — they’re still in that teen angst phase, and they haven’t had enough of that revolution stuff — but that’s not what happened, folks. What happened at Rutgers this week is a harbinger for the future of the tired and crumbling USA. The future of the USA is that there is little or no future for the USA.
Of course the S.W.A.F. community – Students With A Future — will move on to bigger and better things, but the misfits at No Condi Campaign are gradually taking over, and soon the S.W.A.F. people will have to form a new nation. It’s inevitable.
Within 50 years, the USA as you know it today, will not exist. It will be divided into separate countries. Some of these countries will be rich and prosperous while the other “One Nation Under Beyonce” will constantly teeter on the edge of Third World-ism. Naturally the S.W.A.F. countries will have to send them aid.
This will happen because a nation cannot stand united when accomplishment, truth, honor and justice are frowned upon and the patients are running the asylum.
For some psychotic reason, the news media — with FOX getting the lion’s share of the story out to the masses — is giving Carmelo Cintron airtime. Perhaps Laura Ingraham got a charge out of talking to this lamebrain, but why illuminate him?
if you look at Carmelo’s Facebook page, he is the star du jour and many of his followers prefer to write in Spanish — the official language of One Nation Under Beyonce.
Cintron is getting his 15 minutes — but there is something else that’s deeply disturbing about his army of cretins — a lot of them seem to be Muslims? I wonder what that’s about. Cintron is a Puerto Rican. Why is he supported by so many Muslims? Is he some kind of front? I mean, he must be, because he’s been on every news show as the spokesman for the group, and the kid doesn’t even have the brain of a lemon.
We shall see, my friends. We shall see.
I urge all REAL students of Rutgers University to snub and sneer and stigmatize the misfits who ruined their graduation ceremony.
Written in Brussels, Belgium – exclusively for TheDamienZone.com by Damien LeGallienne.
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Sanjay Gupta MD is a doctor who makes most of his money selling books and being a medical correspondent for CNN. He’s not usually as annoying as most cable news correspondents, but right now, perhaps in pursuit of a Pulizter Prize or something, he has been traveling to Guinea – a former French colony on the west coast of central Africa — to do stories about the people there who are dying from the deadly and incurable Ebola virus.
He reports from this country in very disease-ridden areas where most of the people have come down with the deadly illness associated with the virus.
Is Sanjay Gupta a great crusader for these poor people or is he a modern day Typhoid Mary who thinks he is above carrying the disease here to the USA?
Is he doing this out of compassion for people or is he doing it to get ratings for CNN?
Personally, I think he’s not so altruistic and the stuff he is reporting has no real educational purpose. He can easily do a story about the dangers of Ebola without actually going to the place where people are infected with the disease, but I assume Dr. Gupta feels that he needs to inject a little of the “Geraldo Rivera” factor into his stories.
In my opinion, Sanjay Gupta — in his quest to look like a courageous man of medicine — is putting the lives of Americans in great danger and for that he should not be allowed to continue with these reports.
Guinea — your garden variety fourth-world dump that used to belong to France — is a country with virtually no infrastructure. Nice job, France — as usual.
These natives of Guinea are peasants scattered throughout villages. Guinea does not have millions of people sharing buses and trains and airplanes and workplaces. If one — just one of these people — acquires the Ebola virus in the USA — especially NYC — it’s the end not only for the lives of hundreds of thousands, but for the economy of the entire USA.
Hey, maybe you’re a good doctor, Sanjay Gupta, but do us all a favor. Stay the hell away from Guinea unless you intend to stay there for the rest of your life. Stop playing with fire. If you want to be an Ebola martyr, good for you, but in the meantime, don’t risk the lives of everyday Americans.