Category Archives: Featured Politics

The Secret Gay Life of U.S. President James Buchanan.

james-buchananJames Buchanan was the 15th President of the USA and he served in office from 1857 until 1861 when he was succeeded by Abraham Lincoln.

Buchanan was a bachelor for life, and while living in the White House, his niece was appointed as Official Hostess.

Officially, President Buchanan’s fiancee, Ann Coleman,died from grief back in 1819 when James spent more time working at his law firm than courting his devoted — but delicate — betrothed.  Ann’s death was Buchanan’s handy excuse for never again courting or seeking to marry any woman, but he did like to “busy his mouth” with woodies.

Doctor’s reports suggest that Ann Coleman died from a broken heart, but recent revelations suggest that she actually offed herself with a bottle of Laudenam (morphine, opium, codeine and alcohol) when she found out that her beloved James was enjoying the company of young muscle men from carnivals and circuses.

The recent discovery of a diary belonging to Ann Coleman’s closest friend, Anastasia Hemphill,  has changed the face of that story forever.

“Our dearest Ann was at the time overcome with revulsion when she came upon Mister Buchanan lying nude in a guestroom aloft with Kelvin Osford who was at the time a massive strongman with a traveling carnival.  Both men were in a state of tumescence and James was busying his mouth on the manhood of the vulgar and sweaty behemoth. I will go to my grave knowing that the sight of this horrific depravity led Ann to betray her truest Faith and she preferred instead to leave the Earth with the greatest of expedience.” [Anastasia Hemphill (beloved friend) 1821.]

A subsequent really bitchy letter to Anastasia from a man named Kelvin Osford was found folded inside of this page.  The letter was written by a Dr. Chapman (proxy) at the behest of Kevin Osford who was, “unschooled and of simple mind and unable to write even the simplest letter or salutation for himself.”

“Warmest regards to you, Miss Hemphill.  

“As it would not be socially fitting to present myself in your exemplary company, I share your sorrow on the loss of a lovely young lady and eternal friend, but perhaps you can find solace in the fact that James is sick of mind and uncaring.  He would have been an atrocity as as husband to even the lowest grade of woman.

“Buchanan lives only to be enthralled with the muscles of large and burly men and acts of sodomy. 

“Yes, I was engaged in an unspeakable act when it was discovered by Miss Coleman, but I am only one of many young men who have been well paid by Mister Buchanan to engage in unspeakable acts.  

“I have developed my body with heavy weights and stones and now at age twenty-two I too am caught in the web of decadence and debauchery that is the wont of Mister Buchanan and several of his male companions who worship me as a Greek statue and hand me subsequent sums of money and food stocks.

“I oblige you and seek forgiveness on the loss of your friend.  Please be mindful of the sad fact that I engage in deviant behavior with gentlemen only because my mother in Salem is sick with a cancer on the skin and her financial situation is poor at best. I know that this decrepit copulation with other men is entirely unnatural, but I am caught in a web of sin and deceit and self hatred.  

“Please find comfort in the knowledge  that a marriage joining Mister Buchanan and the dearly departed Miss Coleman would have had a most grievous endurance.  I beg your forgiveness and the forgiveness of our Lord.” [Kelvin Osford – as told to Dr. N. Chapman]

So — according to the close friend of President Buchanan’s fiancee, and the bodybuilder he fancied — Old James liked ’em big and burly and muscular and dumb.  Seems this guy Kelvin Osford had all of that and more.  By the way “tumescence” means engorged, In other words, she found them naked with woodies and BuchanaN was blowing Osford.  (Busying his mouth).

It’s safe to assume that James’ woody was smaller than Osford’s because other letters exchanged between “Nancy” men of the same era and area often make mention of the large size of Osford’s “tumesence” and his muscles.  It seems that Osford was the hot ticket male “companion” of his day, and in higher class circles, the behavior of the men who fancied him was ignored to some extent.


Antoine Dodson No Longer Gay but LGBT Community Doesn’t Know It.

The 15th Annual Webby Awards - Red CarpetWhy is this Antoine Dodson Facebook page suddenly so popular?

In light of the recent life changes announced by Antoine — a guy with quirky talent who got lucky when somebody broke into his apartment in the projects — you would think people — especially gay people — would be more discerning about the people they “share” on Facebook — but they are not discerning.

They’re morons just like their heterosexual counterparts who live only to “share” without concern or forethought.  That is the nature of the Facebook Simpleton regardless of sexual orientation.

FOLKS!  Antoine Dodson is no longer gay — he says so himself — where is the outrage?  Antoine believes living a homosexual “lifestyle” is wrong and anti-religious.  Don’t you morons know that about him?  Do you ever read a frigging news story or even pick up a cheap magazine?   I am happy for Antoine that he is no longer hunting for a paycheck, but how dumb are some people — really? 

I am not hating on Antoine Dodson because he was a low income, gay African-American who lived in the projects and then became famous.  I am angry at the LGBT community for not knowing  that he has angrily and religiously ditched them in favour of chicks and babes — so he says.

The gays who don’t read or don’t care still love him, and it makes no sense whatsoever.  His Facebook page has over 1,000,000 followers — ahhhh — but maybe that’s the key to Antoine’s recent transformation?  There are less than 20 million gay people in the USA and success with the gay crowd is nowhere near as lucrative as it is with the Christian straight crowd.

Okay, I get it now.  Using Jesus for money — nothing new about that.  Is Antoine doing that or has he had some kind of weird revelation?  I don’t know.  That’s his business, but the sad truth is that nobody has bothered to learn about the new Antoine Dodson.  Therein lies the stupidity of certain people, and that is why we write this blog, right?  We write to expose stupidity and dumbness when and wherever it might occur.

The Simpletons of Facebook — which is just about everyone who has an account on Facebook — embraced Antoine when he became an overnight sensation via his viral video, and in spite of his recent admissions and admonitions  against gaiety, he is still popular — especially in the gay male community where one would expect him to be vilified, but in order to know the more recent truth about Antoine Dodson, at least one gay guy would have to read or learn or study — something the average Facebook Simpleton is unable to do with any degree of non-stupidity.

Let’s start from the beginning.

A few years ago, someone broke into Antoine’s home in the low income projects of the Lincoln Park Housing Project in Huntsville, Alabama, USA, and climbed into bed with his sister.

Antoine’s sister bravely stated that the intruder tried to rape her, and when she was interviewed on local TV about that incident, Antoine chimed in with his diatribe against the intruder.  It was concise and comical — so comical in fact that some enterprising young musicians took his TV interview and put it to an AUTO-TUNE music video which went viral.

Do you know it?

“Hide your kids, hide your wife, hide your kids, hide your wife, and hide your husbands because they’re raping everybody out here.  You don’t have to come and confess. We’re looking for you.  We gonna find you, we gonna find you. So you can run and tell that, run and tell that, home boy, home boy….etc.”

So Antoine became an overnight sensation with his auto-tuned “Hide your kids, Hide Your Wife” viral video musical, and Antoine was openly gay — very flamboyant and funny and engaging — and but now he is singing a different tune.

Seems the former Miss Thing Dodson, has prayed away the gay and gone religiously freaky. Doesn’t anyone know this about him?  Do the simpletons of Facebook only look for homophobia in the American GOP or on CBN?   Antoine himself sounds awfully homophobic, and he has renounced his faith in Judy Garland, and for most gay men that’s grounds for excommunication.

Antoine Dodson announced recently that he was straight at the same time he proclaimed himself to be the ‘True Chosen Hebrew Israelite descendant of Judah’ on Facebook. He is now expecting a child with a woman he calls “his queen.” This is a far cry from the queens Antoine used to impregnate — in a manner of speaking. 

Dodson stated, “I have to renounce myself, I’m no longer into homosexuality I want a wife and family, I want to multiply and raise and love my family that I create,”

This was mild when compared to some of the things Dodson has said since claiming to have made the switch from dicks to chicks.

“The Bible states against it (homosexuality).”  “I am not praying away the gay.  You can just lift it.  If you want to change your life you can.”   “I’m trying to move away from being gay and become a better person.” “Back then I was dumb.  I didn’t know the Bible, I didn’t read the Bible like I should have done.”

It gets even more in your face, folks, but I don’t have the time.  The truth is that Antoine used the money he made to get his ass out of the projects and into a nice home in Los Angeles where he now proclaims a to be a chosen Hebrew Israelite.

Yeah, so to all of you morons out there in Facebook land, be mindful of the person you are helping to make wealthy.  Personally, I don’t care if Antoine is gay or straight or just plain stupid — which he seems to be — but really, how could so many people not know the truth about the new Antoine Dodson?

Like Antoine Dodson himself said when he addressed the news camera and the American public: “You are really dumb. You are so dumb.  Fer real! “



Pope Francis Excommunication Thing is Stupid.

Pope Francis, the new Pope who is beloved by the Simpletons of Facebook, has now cranked up the volume of dumbness and put the Facebook morons into blissfully idiotic overdrive.

You see them on your Facebook page, right?   The people who say things like, “I’m really digging this new Pope,” and “This Pope makes me want to go back to church.”

popepopeYes, the Argentinian pop-culture Pope is getting really popular.  Trouble is — he is a phony and he’s kind of dopey and clueless — just like the Facebookers who are digging him.

I can totally understand the stupidity of Facebook Simpletons — they have an incurable illness, and they are quickly becoming a distinct ethnic group unto themselves.

A Pope, however, is supposed to be smart, or at least wise, or at the very least, he should be able to understand the rules of the  job for which he has been chosen.

Recently, Pope Francis made a complete idiot out of himself by publicly excommunicating the Italian Mafia.

Naturally, this extremely dumb edict was greeted with  endless Facebook chatter from the community of “Facebook Simpletons Who Share Stupid Shit.”   

Those extremely dumb Facebook and email “sharers” totally love this kind of stuff — but it’s stupid and it makes no sense.

Many or most of the Roman Catholics on Facebook have already been excommunicated but they are basically too stupid to know it.

Allow me to explain.

The Pope does not excommunicate people.  People excommunicate people.

In other words, if one violates any specific doctrine of the Roman Catholic Church — the rules that call for excommunication — one has excommunicated one’s self.  It happens in the blink of an eye without any intervention from anyone.

An unseen hand comes down from heaven and erases you from the eyes of the Roman Catholic Church. You do not exist.

You can go to church all you want and put copious amounts of money in the collection plate, but for all intents and purposes, in the eyes of the church and God, you are not there.

If you have broken any number of endless rules, you are instantly excommunicated. You are a non-person.  You are “WASTING WAFERS” as I like to say.

You are, however,  still a Catholic.  And, you’ll always be Catholic unless you convert to something else — because you were Christened in the Catholic Church. But, as far as the church is concerned, you cannot participate in any of the sacraments and you cannot have a Catholic burial.  Sorry, no incense or holy water.

So, what does this all mean?  It means —  don’t bother showing up in church because you’re not there.  You are invisible in the eyes of god.

Let’s first tackle the issue of gay marriage as it pertains to our subject of excommunication since the gay Catholic  community seems to be loving this new Pope in spite of the fact that just about all of them have been excommunicated because they are homosexuals. Gay people are not excluded from the community of Facebook Simpletons.

One day Pope Francis says a few nice things about gay people and they all start jumping for joy — it’s lunacy and dumbness.

Catholicism — and just about every religion of the world —  does not not allow homosexuality.

 It is written off as a grievous sin in the eyes of God even though God is the guy who made a person a homosexual in the first place.

Regrettably,  it is correct to say that folks who engage in homosexuality — especially the really annoying and dopey ones — have already been auto-excommunicated.  The Pope doesn’t have to announce it on television.

Sorry, honey, but just like Louie B. Mayer said to Joan Crawford when he excommunicated her from MGM studios,  “It’s already been done, Joan.”

The Pope made an ass of himself when he spoke kindly of gay people a few weeks after he got the big hat, but it made no sense.  How can you speak kindly of people who are thoroughly condemned by the giant organization you lead?

Rules are rules, and unless Pope Franny plans on revamping those rules, he should stop with all of this sanctimonious pandering.  Actually, the pandering is tolerable  — it’s those who are pandered to and loving it who make me sick.

I am not picking only on the gay community of Facebook Simpletons — it’s a whole lot of people — it’s freaking everybody.

If you have ever violated the loopy 6th and the 9th Commandments as they are applied by the Catholic Church of Rome — and who hasn’t —  you are excommunicated.  Sorry, Charlie. 

Is that so hard to understand though?

Read these two Commandments carefully.  These are the ones that automatically get you your pink slip. The Catholic Church has never revoked these rules, and as silly as they are, they still apply.


Human sexual activity —  This commandment forbids the actual, physical act of having immoral sexual activity, specifically adultery, which is sex with someone else’s spouse or a spouse cheating on their partner. This commandment also includes fornication, which is sex between unmarried people, prostitution, pornography, homosexual activity, masturbation, group sex, rape, incest, pedophilia, bestiality, and necrophilia.


The Ninth Commandment forbids the intentional desire and longing for immoral sexuality. To sin in the heart, Jesus says, is to lust after a woman or a man in your heart with the desire and will to have immoral sex with them. Just as human life is a gift from God and needs to be respected, defended, and protected, so, too, is human sexuality. Catholicism regards human sexuality as a divine gift, so it’s considered sacred in the proper context — marriage.

 So, now that you’ve read them carefully, are you an excommunicate?  Oooooops!  You probably are — if you are a Roman Catholic.  

But alas, all is not lost.  You can get back in — yes you can — if you are truly sorry for what you’ve done and you repent.   But again, think carefully about what is written in those two commandments.

For example:  If you are gay, you have to be truly sorry that you are gay.  Be mindful of that little gay fact before you dive into months of confessions and Papal indulgences.  If you ever go gay again — or if you ever even think about a guy in a bulging speedo — YOU’RE OUT!

Do you see the dumbness now?  Do you see that the Pope’s TMZ style of excommunication is dumb and self-serving?   Do you see how the whole concept of excommunication is dumb?

If you are a Catholic and you are currently practicing all of the rules of the Catholic Church, the odds are that you are either dead or in a deep coma.

Note to Pope Francis — SHUT UP.  You are making a fool out of yourself.

This article was inspired by this Facebook post I stumbled upon from someone who is not a simpleton.  Here is that post.

David D. Mattia :   Pope Francis — essentially a false idol — has publicly excommunicated the Italian Mafia.  But,  the Italian MAFIA,  if you follow the rules of excommunication,  has already been excommunicated and they don’t even know it — and the Pope obviously doesn’t know it either.

This Pope is getting real popular by pandering to the dumbness of the masses — so to speak.  

All “MAFIA” and GANGS and CROOKS — Mexican Mafia, Russian Mafia, Crips,  Bloods. Neo Nazis — they’re already out — but I guess the Pope forget to announce it.

Excommunication is incurred AUTOMATICALLY for certain offenses against the doctrine of the Roman Catholic Church.   Simply because the Pope announces it over a public address system does not mean anyone is MORE excommunicated — but I think the public announcement is kind of cute.

Hey, you out there? Are you divorced? Sorry. You’re out!

Are you homosexual or bisexual? You’re out!

Committed adultery ever? You’re out!

Murdered anyone?  Didn’t go to to church and forgot to confess? Lusted after anyone? You’re out! You’re out! You’re out!

I have a new slogan for the Catholic Church — “IF YOU HAVEN’T BEEN EXCOMMUNICATED LATELY, YOU’RE PROBABLY DEAD.”