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Hollywood

Doctors Fear: “Brett Favre needs stem cells to stop accelerated old-aging process.” Arsenio Hall offers hope.

“At his current rate of aging, we feel that Mr. Favre will be at least 90 years old by this time next year.”  said Dr. Hermet LaJeunesse of the American College of Aging and Maturation in Newark, New Jersey USA.  “We might have to use the entire $100 million dollar grant that was given to the city of Newark by the guy who invented that social networking site that is really a scam for identity theft and is rumored to

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Sarah Palin says: “Jersey Shore Guidos become gay after Labor Day.”

This video cartoon has been writtten, directed and produced by TheDamienZone.com  All rights reserved.  Copyright 2010.

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Joey Lawrence of “Melissa and Joey” sprays on a fake shaved hairline.

“The makeup people carefully draw in Joey’s hairline dot by dot,” said a source close to the makeup department on the set of ABC Family’s new sitcom “Melissa and Joey.”  “They carefully recreate the illusion that Mr. Lawrence has a thick hairline that has been shaved.  The problem is that from day to day they are not able to exactly duplicate the exact position of the fake shaved hairline and instead Joey ends up with a scalped vampire look.  When I see Mr. Lawrence after

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GOD DECLARES: “Zsa Zsa Gabor’s Last Rites have expired and her husband is going to Hell.”

“When you die, you get a thing that’s kind of like a Last Rites inspection sticker,” said John Hightower, a hippy kind of a guy who almost died of an acid overdose at Woodstock in 1969 and who says he works for God and also moonlights for the Holy Spirit on weekends.   “Man, Zsa Zsa Gabor got the Last Rites like years ago, so if she dies she has to get them again because her sticker is totally expired.” As TheDamienZone.com readers

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TV CHEF LYDIA BASTIANICH SAYS, “BRENDAN FRASER AND ELENA KAGAN WERE SEPERATED AS CHILDREN.”

WHOEVER SAID THAT A HAIR TRANSPLANT LOOKS LIKE ROWS OF CORN didn’t ever conjure up the notion that someday a hair transplant would rejoin a long lost pair of siblings.  Such is the case with actor Brendan Fraser and that Supreme Court thingy Elena Kagan. “As I was doing the transplant on Brendan Fraser I started to notice something strange,” said Dr. Bosley Beasley of the Bosley Hair Transplant and Second Mortgage Clinic.  “The more hair I added to the

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HONEYMOONERS STAR JOYCE RANDOLPH ANNOUNCES BID FOR PRESIDENCY IN 2014.

Joyce Randolph, known to TV lovers as Trixie Norton, the always patient wife of Ed Norton ( Art Carney) on the iconic TV show “THE HONEYMOONERS” has announced that she is throwing her hat into the ring for a run at the US Presidency in 2014. Randolph, 89, is not letting her advanced years get in the way. “I have been around and worked my way through a lot of things,”  said the still youthful actress.  “I have suffered through the Great

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NUTRACEUTICAL and MACROBIOTIC are fake words. The unhappy truth about JJ VIRGIN, her qualifications, and the fraud that is called “Holistic Medicine.”

Don’t be scammed by people like JJ Virgin. If you have cancer you need to eat, and if you have terminal cancer, you need to eat whatever you want and as much of it as you want. There are no such things as a nutraceutical or macrobiotric diets. They are scams.

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And They’re OFF! To The Slaughterhouse!

“Casinos like to kill people’s dreams and credit scores, not their horses.” [ D.  Mattia  <– Racehorse trainer and TV writer. ] You can forget about global warming and climate change and baby seals for a few moments and dedicate your time to reading about the annoyances of horse racing. They call it “The Sport Of Kings” when in fact it should be called the sport of mindless carnival people who have somehow managed to sneak into polite society whilst breeding the best

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