The Sad Truth About Joe Rogan’s Closet Gay Fans.

A long time ago, I made a blog entry here on, and as far as blog entries go wherein the subject of that blog is not really very newsworthy or famous,  it has done really well in spite of the relative obscurity of Joe “no talent” Rogan.

Yeah, so I wrote a little thing about Joe Rogan, and even though Joey — as the worm-eating crowd likes to call him —  has only a handful of fans, my email box is full.  It’s like every guy who likes Joe Rogan sent me hate mail — why?

I have written over 2,000 blog entries about really famous people, so why does this Joe Rogan entry inspire such venomous hatred?

Well, to start, you can read the original blog entry here — and remember to scroll down to the hateful comments:

So anyway, I have gotten so much hate mail and hate comments from the Joe Rogan crowd that my Google ranking has gone up a notch — and who would have thought one blog entry about an unfunny “comic” who made a career out of making people eat worms and scorpions and doing pale imitations of guys like Dennis Leary and Lewis Black would have attracted so much traffic on my website?

I wanted to find out why I was getting so much HATE about my opinions on Joe being unfunny. For chrissakes,  it’s only my opinion.  Still, I wondered about the ferocity of the hatred.  Why so angry and menacing?  I mean, there’s a whole other blog called Joe Rogan Sucks  — the entire website or whatever you call it —  is dedicated to hating on Joe Rogan.  All I did was write a little thing about Joe’s unfunny act and his awful iron-filings-hair-transplants….what’s the big freaking deal?  Christ, I’ve been a million times more nasty about Ricky Gervais — he’s as low as anyone can go — but nobody seems to care about that — probably because nobody cares about Ricky Gervais no matter what.

Here’s the thing.  Joe “unfunny” Rogan has a a very small following, but the numbers on my page are way out of proportion.  I was confused — but I did a little research and I think I have found out why Joe Rogan’s fans defend him so ferociously.  I finally found out the reason why there is so much hate aimed at my blog article —  and it was staring me in the face all along.  It wasn’t really hate for me, it was love — true love — for Joe Rogan.  It was the love that dare not speaketh against Joe Rogan’s name.

All I had to do was a simple Google search to realize that Joe’s fans are 90% young men who share a sad problem.  It’s kind of like that song, “The Ballad of the Sad Young Men.”

I sent my research off to an expert — a psychologist who specializes in social-internet behavior — Dr. Raymond Tote-Tundy MD PhD – head of the “SKYLIGHT CLINIC” of St. Tropez, France. Here’s what he had to say.

“I have analyzed all of the data as far as I could with internet searches and such and I have determined that Joe Rogan is a hero to a lot of 18-33 year old males, and in the case of this Joe Rogan, a lot of his fans seem to have a sexual identity problem or crisis situation.  The new word ‘bromance’ comes to mind, but it goes deeper than that — much deeper.  It goes deep into Freudian psychology and issues of problematic sexual identity. 

“You have to keep in mind the fact that a lot of young bodybuilders and wrestling fans –when they are not grappling with one another while wearing only a towel —  are often grappling with serious issues of sexuality.  Joe Rogan is heavily involved in that area of boisterous and male-only entertainment, so it’s only natural that he will attract a certain amount of 20-something and 30-something young men who are, in my opinion,  secretly and deeply in love with him both romantically and sexually. 

“I would assume that most or many of them are not aware that is what they are feeling, or if they truly understand the sexual component to their attachment, they live in a state of denial where bodybuilding and wrestling and other shirtless and muscular male activities are used as a substitute for sex in a form of self-loathing.  

“I would venture to say, however, that a reasonable percentage of the male Joe Rogan fanbase consists of latent homosexuals.  And, like I said, many of them are not even aware of their feelings.  Perhaps they deny them, but from deep within their subconcious minds, the need to defend him is how they express their sexual and romantic feelings for Joe Rogan.”

So there was my answer.  I didn’t believe it at first, but then when I did a little more internet research above and beyond what Dr. Tote -Tundy had to say, I saw where that entire website – the one entirely dedicated to hating Joe Rogan — had the same kind of comments I was getting. I could see the same kind of “don’t you talk about my boyfriend like that” pattern of outbursts from young guys.  I can tell they’re young and rather uneducated men because they use poor grammar and spellling and the overall texture of their hatred is pretty juvenile as far as letter writing goes.

You see, a lot of Joe Rogan love is based on bodybuilding and wrestling and shirtless male message board chit-chat, and anyone with a brain knows that a lot of bodybuilding culture is based on a homosexual Grecian theme in spite of the fact that these bodybuilding sites are peppered with a few images of female bodybuilders so as to mask the true nature of the closeted gay young guy who just wants to see muscles and pecs and sweat — stuff like that.

So now I know why I get so much hate mail from young guys when I poke fun at Joe Rogan.  His fanbase is made up of young guys who are grappling with issues of homosexuality that manifest as an undying love for their true soul mate – Joe Rogan — a guy they see as hot and sexy.  A guy —  who like them — is into wrestling and boxing and bodybuilding, but also a guy who can tell a joke or two. Even young, closeted, gay tough guys likes a guy to have a little personality.  Why they’ve chosen Joe Rogan, however, is a mystery because he is very unfunny and he isn’t gay.

Sadly the truth is not funny but to all the gay and bisexual guys who haven’t come to terms with their sexual identity, Joe Rogan is a dream come true — and as one of my reader’s wrote:  “My chick is cool with it.”

A lot of the “ROGANIANS” as I call them, are switching over to Daniel Tosh, and don’t think that hasn’t got Joe “no-talent” Rogan in a fury of bad temper.  Tosh is ‘cuter’ and funnier, but for many of the ultra-closeted young gays in “On The DL” training, Daniel Tosh pushes the envelope of gayness a little too far and their chicks are NOT cool with that. Still, Joe Rogan now gets Daniel Tosh’s hand-me-downs, and that is at it should be.  The world needs gay men with bad taste as well as gay men with good taste — Amen.

EDITOR’S NOTE:  Comments are accepted on this entry but they have to clear my desk first, and since I have a life, sometimes I don’t see a pending comment for a few hours or sometimes even a day.  I do not screen or delete comments no matter how nasty or vicious or mean-spirited they might be.  Sometimes I will delete a comment if there is a threat of violence or something like that, but 99% of the non-spam comments are accepted.  So, if you comment, expect to wait either 1 minute or 1 day — it’ll be up there and if you annoy me enough or impress me enough, I will answer.

2 thoughts on “The Sad Truth About Joe Rogan’s Closet Gay Fans.

  1. Then fight and denounce homophobia so that those fans can express their attraction to muscle men freely. It is never good to force people to stay in the closet, it takes its toll on people’s mind just like it would if you were denied the right to express your attraction to females.
    In the end, there is nothing more ridiculous than homophobia in sports, especially bodybuilding if you consider that homosexual men created it in Greece.

  2. You know what’s funny, Holns? Guys who pose on muscle websites and sell their “posing” videos don’t realize that all the stuff is bought up my gay men who J/O to muscle flexing. I wonder how many body builders are gay for pay? I mean, they would be broke otherwise.

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