“These HATE WORDS are meaningless and in no way are they a real indicator of hate. This hatred map thing is so stupid that it boggles the mind. It’s so stupid that it has become the dreaded Facebook “share” and there is nothing more incredibly stupid than a Facebook share. Once you become a Facebook share it means you’ve lost all credibility and the only way you can get any attention outside the world of Academics is to try to get “likes” on Facebook. That’s pretty sad.” [Damien LeGallienne, editor of TheDamienZone.com].
There’s this thing floating around the moronic pages of Facebook. It’s a specialized map of the USA that allegedly shows the amount of hate speech that generates from different areas of the USA via Twitter. The trouble is that this is a huge crock of dog end, and since it’s a stupid and meaningless and silly and self-serving bowl of stupidity, every idiot on the planet is “sharing” it on Facebook. It’s what I like to call a “virtual hoax” because it’s not a hoax per se, but in reality it’s the worst kind of hoax. Let me explain.
Supposedly, this “map of American hatred” was part of a larger (and probably just as stupid) project by somebody named Dr. Monica Stephens of Humboldt State University — a kind of hippy dippy school way up there at the top of California where the “very average” students are all in tune with nature and filled with the wisdom of the owl and the mighty wolf. Do you get the picture?
According to RateMyProfessors.com, where a rating of 1 is terrible and a rating of 5 is great, The average professor at Humboldt has a rating of 3.9. Dr. Monica Stephens’ rating, however, is ZERO point ZERO. She doesn’t even have a vote — in other words, students don’t care about her, or like her, or even hate her enough to cast a vote. Of course, as soon as this article is released the students will climb down out of the redwood trees and stop counting owl eggs long enough to give her a perfect score.
So anyway, the unloved and currently unrated Dr. Monica Stephens is doing this GEOGRAPHY OF HATE map thing as part of her class on Advanced Cartography. In other words, if you know how to read between the county lines, Dr. Stephens wants to make maps that will prove that middle Americans and Christians are evil, racist and homophobic, and she’s dragged in three hapless foot soldiers to do her dirty work. I won’t give out the names of the undergrads she is trying to indoctrinate into this policy of inventing hatred because they’re just kids and maybe one day they’ll go to a real school and get the heck out of that campground that masquerades as a University,
Okay, why did I just call it “invented hatred” and what’s the deal with that?
The Facebook “share” that is going around (the Hate Map of the USA) claims that the students — the aforementioned foot soldiers who are unwittingly taking Dr. Stepehens’ course in HOW TO BECOME A MISFIT — sampled (they say) 150,000 tweets from various Twitter accounts. How they came upon these tweets is kind of shady but that’s another story, but sharing in the blame for all of this dumbness is the University of Kentucky and its DOLLY project — whatever that means.
From these tweets, the Future Misfits Club of Humboldt University — I mean the students of Dr. Stephens — went through a bunch of words that they call “hate words” and these hate words were measured by their frequency of usage in tweets across America. It doesn’t make sense — and let me tell you why.
These are the hate words they used – The N word in its real form and various forms, bitch, fag ( and all variants) homo ( all variants) queer, dyke, darky, gook, gringo, honky, injun or Indian, monkey, towel head, wigger, wetback, cripple, cracker, honkey, fairy, fudge packer, tranny.
Okay so there’s the list of words they looked for and they say they counted how many times these words were used in a derogatory way. Okay, so already this is unscientific and stupid and subjective and dumb. This map of hate is a hoax but the trouble is that it doesn’t know it’s a hoax. It seems to be based in real science — but it’s not, you stupid monkey. Ooops, I just used hate speech. Perhaps if I were a wise old Indian (more hate speech) I would have known better than to believe this dumb map. But you understand because, “you my n***a” right, bi*ch? <— Are you catching on to what I’m getting at yet?
Here is the thing. Young people of all races and religions use the hate words all the time on Twitter. They call each other the N-word and all the other words on the list and they mean NOTHING. Dr. Stephens might know how to teach Stupidity 101 really well, but she herself should take a few courses in the evolution of language or language usage. What is being translated as hate speech in this sickening study is really just modern day teen speak and the lexicon of Twitter and texting. It has nothing to do with the opinions of any vox populi — it’s an illusion of hatred. Do you understand that? It is an ILLUSION.
These HATE WORDS are meaningless and in no way are a real indicator of hate. This hatred map thing is so stupid that it boggles the mind. It’s so stupid that it has become a Facebook share, and there is nothing more incredibly stupid than a Facebook share. Once you become a Facebook “share” it means you’ve lost all credibility and the only way you can get any attention outside the world of Academics is to try to get “likes” on Facebook. That’s pretty sad.
So anyway, they looked at where these words originated with more frequency on Twitter and they created this map — and it makes no sense. It’s not real — it means NOTHING.
NOTE TO DR. MONICA STEPHENS – Kindly note that drawing maps of invented concepts and making a map of American hatred is mentally sick and unhealthy and just plain stupid. Also, incidents where celebrities and left wingers and right wingers in the past have wished AIDS on people and or DEATH on each other via Twitter are not included in your map because the area in and around Los Angeles is a cheerful and happy sky blue.
Naturally it’s impossible to see the right wing hatred on your map because the map is carefully invented to make it look like all Red State people (the misconception of Republicanism) are hate speakers. Pretty craft, eh?
Yeah, so ALL Conservatives lurk in that red haze of hate you’ve invented, but Hollywood and left coast liberals are looking up a at clear blue sky. But—uh—they use hate speech all day long, but it’s the hate speech of grown up idiots — not the casual texting language of dopey teenagers. How stupid can you be? You are really dumb – seriously.
Hate speech is when someone says, they want to kill or injure or exterminate someone because of their color or religion or ethnicity or sexual orientation. It is not the lexicon of a clueless twittering teen population. This map might work as a map of the emergence of a new kind of electronic language usage, but it says nothing about hatred. YOU CAN’T MEASURE HATRED! CATCH ON?
If you have the title of “Doctor” in front of your name, shouldn’t you be aware of the flaws in this silly project? Don’t you have a duty to teach your students the difference between cartography and propaganda and your own personal frustrations and hatreds? If I were President of Humboldt, I would fire you so fast that you’d have to dig up your map that shows people the places where colleges are more tolerant of stupid professors. Maybe they’ll hire you — or perhaps you are right where you belong. I’m sorry for your students if that’s the case.
From the desk of Damien LeGallienne.
COMMENT ALL YOU WANT. CALL ME NAMES OR HATE ON ME. I MAKE IT REALLY EASY. I DON’T EVEN CROSS CHECK EMAIL ADDRESSES.
Prince Harry is winding up his visit to the USA, and he’s taking with him some fond memories of time well spent with New Jersey’s large Governor Chris Christie.
CLICK TO READ CAPTIONS
Harry stood on an island of dredged sand and said sadly, “This used to be a house?”
Naturally there were some left wing misfits who made stupid comments like, “Yeah, he was shocked that a house could have stood on less than 10 acres.” But that’s what stupid people like to say simply because they do not appreciate the fact that Harry’s presence on the storm-tossed beaches of New Jersey will draw more attention to the tragedy.
Misfits aside, While screaming young local girls and gay men who car-pooled in from Ocean Grove snapped photos and giggled, Harry played a ring-toss game on the Seaside Boardwalk where he won a stuffed animal for an admiring little girl named Amber-Autumn Carrigliolola. The child’s mother was mesmerized.
“It was like a dream. My daughter was so happy to see Prince Harry and when he gave her that stuffed doll, my father — her grandfather — nearly shit his pants because he is a big fan of the Royal Family. To be honest, my father almost shits his pants every day, but this was an especially close call.” [Maryann Carrigliolola, Point Pleasant, New Jersey, USA]
Later, Harry sat at a pizzeria with Governor Chris Christie where the wto enjoyed a sumptuous lunch while sitting by the sea. Harry ate a pepperoni calzone and Governor Christie adjusted his stomach machine to accomodate two slices of pizza and an order of mussels marinara.
“The governor threw up a little bit of his mussels because his stomach can’t hold as much food as it used to since he had the sugery, but a lot of customers throw up my mussels marinara. I don’t think Prince Harry even noticed. I think it’s my sauce that makes people puke. I used to make the tomato sauce at Don’s 21 in Newark and we made a huge vat of sauce on Monday and we kept using it for weeks and weeks.” [Luca Gargiocavallo, Owner/Chef at Luca's Casa Italiano Nook.]
Prince Harry really like his calzone and he quickly texted his grandmother who had a calzone cooker shipped to her home in Scotland. Prince Harry plans to pack on a few pounds and is even thinking about investing in a string of calzone themed restaurants throughout the UK.
She was thought to be the most famous psychologist in the USA, and now Dr. Joyce Brothers has died in New York City at the age of 85.
Dr. Brothers was good at what she did — and she did it with dignity and grace and professionalism and class. She knew her stuff and even when she was put up against cranks like Howard Stern, she never dropped her professional demeanor. She was always a good sport and she never wavered or sold out. Even late in life, when her career had achieved a campish or almost cult status, she was too well-respected to be seen as a joke in spite of the fact that she often allowed herself to be the butt of jokes on sitcoms or talk shows.
She was a trained psychologist first and a celebrity second. Dr. Joyce Brothers will never be replaced. It’s not possible.
Before any of us who grew up in the 80s with the crackpots who wandered into our lives on crap talk shows like Oprah and dick head “”Dr. Phil” and that sex-happy midget Dr. Ruth, there was Dr. Joyce Brothers — and guess what? SHE WAS A REAL DOCTOR! –
People in the 50s and 60s and 70s and 80s and even up until a few months agowe got used to seeing Dr. Joyce Brothers making her cameo appearances on shows like Frasier and Friends and so many game shows and talk shows, it’s impossible top count. She had a radio show and a newspaper column. She did it all long before all the impostors came along and she did it the right way because she was REAL.
Dr. Brothers was always “keeping it real” before anyone had even heard of that expression. She wasn’t using sexually suggestive words to get people to listen to her answers about serious questions on social and psychological issues. She was a true professional — nothing like the bird-brains we’re stuck with today. Dr. Phil isn’t even a doctor of anything. He just calls himself “doctor” — he’s a real dirt bag and if he has the nerve to even mention Joyce Brothers on his stupid stupid stupid show, I am going to rip him a new a-hole.
So, back in the 1950s, Joyce Brothers was a young psychologist who was trying to make a career for herself in New York City, but along the way — trying to make a few bucks – she tried out for a game show called “The $64,000 Question” and she kicked ass.
The subject she chose for her questioning was professional boxing!!!!
Nobody in their right mind would think that this little blond and pretty lady psychologist could ever know a thing about boxing right? Well — they were wrong. She knew a lot about boxing, and for weeks and weeks as she climbed her way to the $64,000 question, the producers tried to get rid of her by making her questions so outrageously difficult — but she got ‘em all and she won.
Remember when parrot-faced Ken Jennings kept winning on JEOPARDY? Remember how he thought he was going to be a star? He was wrong, and do you know why? Because he was NOT INTERESTING. He had nothing to offer America.
Dr. Joyce Brothers, however, was an instant hit with the people of the USA and from the day she answered that $64,000 question up until today when she passed away, she was an iconic figure who never faded out of the public conciousness. Some people got it and some people don’t.
People today — the people who are in charge of bringing is professional people — are too stupid to even bring us another Dr. Joyce Brothers. TV producers only want fake losers who drag out people from trailer parks and tattoo parlors and crackhouses. Dr. Joyce Brothers was the REAL THING and these idiots who make TV and radio shows today are morons who don’t understand or recognize QUALITY.
Dr. Joyce Brothers did not invent herself as a celebrity like the other ersatz psychologists to whom she is being compared. She was made into a celebrity because the country liked and trusted her.
Comparing Dr. Brothers to impostors like “Doctor” Phil and others is not only inaccurate , it’s factually incorrect. She was a real psychologist, and she knew her stuff.
She appeared on Game Shows and Talk Shows because the public loved her. She never said or did anything to betray her profession or to turn a buck, and she never tried to lure in viewers or listeners with salacious or lurid stories. Her opinions about modern psychology and social issues were always spot on. Dr. Joyce Brothers was a sincere and dignified professional who also happened to be a celebrity — we’ll never see that again.
She was the epitome of a psychologist. She introduced a nation to the field and told people that it was alright to ask for help. We will miss you Dr. Joyce Brothers.
Damien Le Gallienne EDITOR.
How I Met Your Mother is headed for the end of the season, and a lot of viewers are really upset, but lighten up because next season will be great. But will there be a next season? Some people are worried that the show is being cancelled.
According to one Hollywood insider, the show will not be cancelled. As a matter of fact, How I Met Your Mother is getting amped up a few notches and there will be a few surprises in store for everyone next season. This cray cray writer of an even more cray cray show on BlipTv, How I Met Your Mother will have a super season in the fall with a lot of big time celebrity guests showing up in a few very special episodes. See here —–> http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3834680/?ref_=sr_1
“That show’s going nowhere but up. They’ve got some great writers on there and if I wasn’t tied down to my current show, I’d try to get on that bus big time.”
The Damien Zone agrees, and we like that writer cause his middle name is Damien so it’s like family. So you folks out there in TV land don’t have to worry because How I Met Your Mother is not getting cancelled. It’s getting bigger and better !!!
By: Damien Le Gallienne.
Prince Harry’s visit to the USA has been a very successful one thus far, and the Yanks seem to be quite smitten with the handsome and dashing young prince. Perhaps the visit to the USA is indeed a way to revamp Harry’s bad boy reputation in the USA and back home in Britain. The Las Vegas thing had tongues wagging, but Harry has proven — and quite sincerely — that he is a true gentleman and all the folks in the USA really like him — or do they?
Sadly, Prince Harry has a few enemies — the American far left wingers. They hate him and everything he stands for. Why? I know why, and even though it would take me a week to tell you why, I have assembled eight rather meandering conceptualizations that I think sum up at least part of why Harry is hated by the left.
Here are the top 8 reasons why the far left Americans ( misfits) hate Prince Harry.
1) He is very handsome. There is nothing that annoys the American left more than a handsome prince. The face of the far left in the USA is an ugly face — a self-loathing face that is often pulled and lifted and frozen by Botox. They’ve even had their own kids lifted and lipo-sucked and tucked . Naturally these are the Hollywood types (America’s ersatz royalty) and it irks the shit out of them that some people are actually handsome and elegant without even trying. As far as left wing women go, they’re usually lesbians or asexual and damaged anyway so of course they‘re going to shun or mock Harry. Basically, they’re just so messed up that every relationship they’ve ever had with a man has failed because of that old self-loathing stuff. Of course these old hags are going to hate a handsome prince. They’ve never had one of their own — and they never will. The left wing homosexuals hate Prince Harry (sort of) because they have to do everything in their power to quell their lust and giggly giddiness. Instead they have to howl about how Harry is just another example of the oppressive and wealthy white European American male elite. They have to pretend that they don’t want to ravage Prince Harry with unthinkable acts — and do you know how hard that is for a left wing gay American? It’s like telling them not to hook up on Grindr for a week.
2) Harry is not a MISFIT. He is the total opposite of a misfit. He is a normal person who has been born into a world of wealth and fame — and he’s very attractive and “normal.” The far left American is usually a misfit — homely, unhappy, dirty, hypnotized by trends and hipster stupidity like the “occupy” thing. Harry doesn’t fit into any of that. He doesn’t get involved in anything stupid or questionable, and even though he is rich and famous, he isn’t all messed up and creepy. He’s a soldier and a budding statesman. He represents all that is good in the world. The left fears Harry because he might be the face of the future of the world — and that would kill them.
3) He is actually a soldier who worked hard to get his credentials as a pilot and he loves his country and his military comrades. Far left Americans don’t work hard at anything unless it’s something weird or dopey — and they hate their country. They hate the USA and they hate themselves enough to embrace people like Fidel Castro and Hugo Chavez and whatever other crackpot they pretend to love simply because misfits love other misfits. Harry doesn’t do stupid shit like that because he doesn’t hate himself. He has a solid self-image. You don’t have to be a rich kid to be a solid citizen. Laziness is the rule for the American left. Laziness and lack of accountability are the golden rules of the far left. They are misfits — you really don’t have to did any deeper than that. The word is MISFIT — it’s the best word ever invented.
4) The American left hates any sign of European male presence in anything unless that male in question is a communist or some kind of social misfit. Harry is not a communits and he is the antithesis of a social misfit. To an American far left winger — and you don’t have to go too far left — Prince Harry represents the white man’s oppression of the poor and sick throughout the world. The trouble here is that Harry uses his position to help those people. The weirdoes in the USA lend a helping hand to Haitians and other third world people, but they bore quickly when the cameras stop clicking. Harry has to to this for the rest of his life — and he seems to really want to do it. The American left doesn’t seem to want to do anything, and when they find something they want to do, they quickly get bored because it’s no longer a hip cause or whatever.
5) Harry is elite. There’s nothing the left hates more than the elite in spite of the fact they spend half their lives trying to be elite. Usually they get tired of trying and they eventually end up as old and dirty-ish and weird and fake and useless semi-hippies. Harry can’t help that he’s elite. He was born into it. A lot of people in the American left are born into fabulous wealth but they have no class or dignity and for that reason they shun Prince Harry. They’re losers in every way. Look at the dimwits that these Hollywood fuktards churn out. Here’s the thing, A lot of the extreme left loves money and fame, but they hate the fact that they don’t have the mindset and carriage to go along with that money and fame. They always screw it up with stupid and sickening causes or campaigns. They don’t know how to “work” and how to be sincere. It’s not bred into them. Hey, 90% of them are actors who live in a dream world where aborted babies are used as hood ornaments on a Rolls Royce that runs on restaurant grease — but only the very best restaurants.
6) Harry actually wants to help wounded veterans. He doesn’t just talk about it and make it a pet cause so he can get fans to like his Twitter page. Yeah, I know that a lot of Hollywood people help the wounded warriors, but there is an undercurrent of disdain for the soldier that many of them can’t shed. They like to say that they support soldiers and the military — but they don’t. “I support the troops” is a euphemism for “I actually hate soldiers.” Take a look at people like Jane Fonda. She is a thoroughly useless and disgusting person in every way a human being can be worthless and disgusting. She doesn’t give a shit about anybody but herself. thankfully she is old and finished. Harry, on the other hand, is the opposite of people like Jane Fonda or Sean Penn or Matt Damon — or even that old queen George Clooney. He doesn’t walk around Monte Carlo thinking he is somebody — Monte carlo walks around him.
7) The left wing media can’t get Prince Harry to say anything to help them with their insincere and childish left wing causes. Recently, bald-headed and sickening Matt Lauer pretty much stacked the deck in an interview with Elton John. He tried as hard as he could to get Sir Elton to mock George W. Bush but he couldn’t do it. It was obvious that Elton John liked George W. Bush and he even said that he “had a soft spot in his heart for him.” This must have made Matt Lauer want to curl up and die, so he somehow got Elton John to say that he was “glad that he was no longer in power.” That made Matt Lauer — a failed hair transplant New York chump — very happy, — but Matt’s too stupid to realize that Sir Elton one-upped him and actually meant that he was happy for George W. Bush that he is no longer in power. Matt Lauer hates George W. Bush because Matt Lauer only reads questions that are written for him by people with an agenda and he has never had an original thought or opinion in his life. He has no mind of his own. He is a zombie. Couple this all with the fact that Elton John and Prince Harry are pals, and you’ve got yourself a recipe for hatred of Harry.
8) Prince Harry proves the fact that the average American middle of the road or conservative person is the real strength of the USA, and that the left wing misfits in the USA are the shining examples of what can go wrong with a culture. Harry would have done well in the 1940s but the average American left wing misfit would not have done very well. They wouldn’t have survived because fighting the enemy is something they can’t and will not do. They’d rather watch crooked-mouthed Rachel Maddow recite her insane diatribes and make snide comments because they think they’re not only too hip for the room — they’re too hip for the world. Like I said — MISFITS.
So Prince Harry is having a great tour of the USA and he isn’t paying any attention to Hollywood and its extreme stupidity. This is not an accident. His itinerary was planned to be what it is, and as much as the left hates Harry, they would still want to have him on the Daily Show or something — but he is not buying their shtick — he has too much class. They wouldn’t talk to Harry about his noble duty and his noble causes anyway. They’d ask him crude and low-rent questions about his romp in Las Vegas. You know the type. I don’t have to spell it out.
“The jury thinks that Jodi Arias must be executed as soon as possible,” said world reknowned prosecutor, Raymond Tote-Tundy PhD, a professor of criminal prosecution at the University of Nebraska School of Law and Agriculture.
“The talk is that the jury was so annoyed by Jodi Arias behavior and her false lapses of memory that they had her hanged even before they went into seclusion. The reason the decision took long to come back was becayse the jury feared that if they hurried back with a verdict, grounds would develop where an appeal could be sought for the conviction. Almost all of the jury member at one time or another expressed open content for the woman who couldn’t think of any more ways to kill her lover.”
It was obvious to the judge in the trial tht Arias was toast but the jury had a smart foreman who knew that it was best to pretend that they were considering the evidence. The truth, however, is that the jury reached a conclusion in minutes and spent the rest of the time just talking about casual subjects.
The word now is that the jury has already oredered the death penalty for Jodi Arias, and the joke around the jury room is how she should be killed. In spite of the fact that state law requires lethal injection be the means by which a prisoner is put to death, many of the jury members are talking about silly things like: Tying her to a rocket and shooting her into the farthest reaches of the atmosphere and returning her without a parachute. Other ideas were to dip her in liquid nitrogen and then smash her like a crystal vase so that she shatters into a mllion pieces. Another idea was to put her in downtown Tehran wearing a sign that denounces Islam and Allah.
“No matter what they decide to be the means by which Jodi Arias is killed,” said Tote-Tundy, “The plan is to hide a few hidden cameras on her just so they can see how much misery they can force upon Jodi Arias. She made them sick to their stomachs for 4 months and they really want to f**k her up real bad.”
Do you know Michael Musto? Perhaps you’ve seen his creepy fat-yet-sunken face on TV or anywhere else where ladies talk about fashion? Maybe you’ve read his uninteresting column in the Village Voice — it’s right next to the all-male chat line phone numbers advertisements.
Perhaps you follow him on Twitter because you need to mindlessly pass the time reading the opinions of this looks-fat-but-is-really-shriveled fuktard who will only wear Snooki flip flops on his feet because there is either something wrong with them or he is insane.
Even in the dead of winter — rain – snow – sleet or hail — Michael Musto will only wear rubber flip flops, but when the weather is yukky he covers the flip flops with plastic bags that are secured around his ankles with electrical tape. That’s normal, right? I mean, if you’re going to be so creepy to look at, why not at least put on a pair of nice shoes? Maybe it will draw attention away from your HUGE-but-shrunken-HEAD! Yes, Michael Musto, you need to make fun of Chris Christie.
Hey, Michael Musto, you used to be a fat tub of lard but you dieted yourself into nothingness. In spite of all your dieting and gym classes you still look fat. Your head and your face are perpetually fat. It’s hopeless. You didn’t lose weight and get better looking. You lost weight and got sickly and weird looking. You have one of those lumpy bodies that will not muscle up no matter how hard you work out. Your waistline is jelly, and its girth is either 28 or 46 depending on how much your tighten your belt because you’re just squeezing your own mushy and shapeless self.
Okay, so you folks either know or don’t know Michael Musto. Even if you know him, kindly note that he will not make eye-contact with you when you speak to him. He continually stares at the ground like a little weirdo, yet he somehow manages to look directly into the camera when he’s on the air for some girly thing.
Anyway, Musto’s latest column is one where he mocks New Jersey Governor Chris Christie for having a form of gastric (lap-band) bypass operation to help him lose weight.
Why does Michael Musto poke fun at the Governor’s weight problem? Isn’t that mean? Isn’t that intolerant? No it’s not because Chris Christie is not gay. He is not a minority. He is not a bullied teen. He is not a Democrat, and he is not a shrunken-faced gossip columnist. It’s okay to make fun of him.
Anyway, Michael Musto is an asshole and he would never have written this stupid piece if Chris Christie were a Democrat or a gay man.
Go buy some shoes, you brillo-headed, shrunken fat faced moron Michael Musto. You shoeless fuktard! Maybe if you were good looking when you were young, you wouldn’t be so bitter. You’re a horror show now — imagine what you must have looked like when you were twenty-one — and your feet — YOUR FEET! UGH!
Jason Collins, a third or fourth string NBA basketball player, has come out of the closet – not because he is simply proud to be gay – but because he had to do something to boost his vanishing career.
Some really dumb people in the media and in the world of gay politics are heralding this “coming-out-of- the-closet-sports-hero” as the new Jackie Robinson. The stupidity and self-serving dumbness of these people is pathetic.
Not only does the comparison to baseball great Jackie Robinson make no sense, it implies to the bigoted do-gooders — who seem to have no clue that they are bigoted do-gooders — that gay people are anatomically different as far as athletic ability is concerned, and that some great and awful barrier had to be broken down to allow a gay man to play basketball. This is not only not true, it’s an insult to the kind of injustices to which Jackie Robinson and countless African American black athletes were subjected for ages.
Gay people have been playing basketball and all kinds of major league sports for ages, it’s just that nobody knew they were gay. Jackie Robinson, because of the color of his skin — something he could not hide or ignore — was intentionally kept out of the sport where he excelled. One can’t make even the slightest comparison to the woes of gay athletes. Of course a major league player of any sport would not be welcomed into or onto a team if he swished his way around the locker room or the playing field and flaunted his gayness. Even straight guys can’t mess around openly with women and think they’re major league sports careers won’t suffer. Ask Tiger Woods about that.
While gay groups throughout the world — and straight groups who like to treat gay men like trained chimps and seals — rallied for Jason Collins and his choice to come out as gay, it was pretty obvious to the trained eye that Collins needed to do SOMETHING to keep himself relevant. Had he not come out as gay and caused all this media blitz, Collins would have faded off into the sunset and earned a living cutting ribbons at new Piggly Wiggly stores. Let’s face it, Jason Collins is no mega star athlete. This media event isn’t like Michael Jordan coming out as gay. It’s just some NBA player who figured out how to market himself as a gay martyr — and it worked. You have to give him, or whomever is pulling his strings, credit for that.
Jason Collins had no real career left. He was a benchwarmer, and please, don’t think that his choice to come out was rooted in any kind of altruism or gay pride. He did it because he needed a job and he thinks that coming out as a gay professional athlete will be his new job. That’s the whole thing. His career will be his sexuality unless he shows that he is talented in other ways.
For the most part, it’s safe to assume that most gay people really don’t care that he’s gay, and it’s the straight people who make themselves feel good by embracing the whole coming out thing. They will make Jason Collins’ gayness a front page news item. Most gay men don’t even watch basketball — come on — be serious here.
Prior to his “I’m gay” announcement a few days ago, Jason Collins was a virtual unknown. His face was not recognizable enough to make it on a box of store brand popcorn let alone the Breakfast of Champions.
Hey, you can’t bash the guy for making it for 12 years in the NBA. Pretty much NOBODY can accomplish that, but you have to see things for what they really are, and in this case the truth is that Jason Collins is being recreated as a gay brand — but there’s a catch to all of this marketing and branding.
GAY DOESN’T SELL ! It doesn’t. Not even to other gays. Marketers know that so don’t think you’re going to see Jason Collins doing car commercials or Nike commercials — no way. Is it so hard to understand that it’s not the NBA that’s bigoted or opposed to homosexuality, it’s that the marketing folks who market their wares via professional sports, know that GAY is not a really powerful brand.
Hey, if “gay” sold cars or sneakers or fast food, the gay players would come out of the woodwork like lemmings. No — sorry — gay does not sell products and even the gayest marketing executive is not going to hand out his Buick contract to an openly gay athlete. It will never happen. If you watch the Logo channel you will note that most of the ads aimed at a gay male audience are usually phone sex lines or condoms.
Jason Collins will now become an object of fringe marketing. He will be beholden to the whims of kooky straight people who take on kooky causes. These psychos usually cause more damage than anything else, but they completely miss the fact that they’re stupid and phony and disingenuous and smarmy and maudlin and plain old annoying.
Of course no team will ever have the nerve to cut Jason Collins now that he is openly gay. If they did, the wrath of the do-gooders will fall down on them like a tower of bricks and mortar. Because of this fake niceness and totally bogus NBA bromance with homosexuality, an NBA team is stuck with a sub par player whose most recent talent is not basketball, but the fact that he likes other dudes and not chicks. That‘s pretty lame..
So what marketing niche will Jason Collins be able to fill with his newly revealed gayness? We here at TheDamienZone.com have a few ideas of where this is all going.
After the talk-show circus an dthe obligatory pilgrimage to Oprah, Jason Collins will become the new face (even though nobody knows what he looks like) of various anti-bullying campaigns and assorted gay pride stuff. Then, after the newness of all that wears down, he’ll probably get taken on as a gay trained pet seal by a sports network or talk show. Kindly note that no major network sports network with any major audience will touch him. He’ll be relegated to crap networks like Logo or chick-flick entertainment channels that do red carpet events and fashion stories.
Jason Collins will be the “masculine gay guy” and he’ll make a good living off of thet shtick for a few years. Then he’ll drop a notch and attach his name –which would have otherwise been forgotten — to local gay gyms and night spots. Young gay people will be invited out to the newest club to “meet Jason Collins” and then he’ll probably start taking his shirt off or flexing his muscles until he finally starts with his own brand of Jason Collins condoms. If he’s really lucky he’ll get his own brand of Vodka or Tequila – which will include heavy handed warnings from Jason himself about he importance of safe sex and responsible drinking.
So gay people throughout the USA can thank Jason Collins’ for unwittingly perpetuating the sickening stereotype that gay people are different from other people as far as athletic ability goes. Jason Collins has opened the door for all the loving and caring heterosexuals who think it’s cool to have gay friends and to be “gay adjacent” — but when it comes to mainstream marketing and major network air time — all interests would be better served if openly gay athletes would kindly use the rear entrance.
In a recent TV appearance with Charissa Thompson, former child star, famous rock singer and Chippendale Stripper, Joey Lawrence, seems to be having a serious problem with his hair and his height and the shape of his head. The question is: WHAT IS GOING ON WITH JOEY LARENCE’S HAIR?
We asked Carlo LoMarca, an Italian hair stylist and Hollywood insider.
“Joey Lawrence’s hair is now dyed a reddish something or other which is usually what one does to camaflouge the growth of new and sparse hair transplants, but this is very weird. The hairline that was created by the surgeons who did Joey’s transplants is growing in but it’s growing in unevenly.
“The shape of Joey Lawrence’s head seems askew and for some reason he appears to be shrinking in height. He has gotten much shorter in recent months. I know that a hair transplant can have side effects but I never heard of anyone shrinking or having their head turn into a weird shape. If I were to style Joey, I would put him in hats or bandanas and go with the rough look like Leif Garrett (pictured below) who still looks like he’s 18.
“The way Joey looks now is frightening. I don’t even know if there is a name for the color of his hair. It’s a shade not known to mankind.
“Joey also seems to be heavily made up and the gray eye shadow he has on is very weird. It also looks like he might have had some plastic surgery to make him look more youthful. His deep clown-mouth lines seem to have been reduced a lot. Maybe it’s the makeup or maybe it’s surgery or maybe it’s part of the shrinking process.”
Fans were shocked by Joey’s strange head and body and many people had to change the channel .
But what about him shrinking? Joey Lawrence is short, but he has shrunk in the past few months. How does one explain that? We asked an expert.
“Joey has had a lot of hair procedures and in my opinion there is some kind of immunolgical anomaly going on here. It’s my opinion that Joey’s spinal chord and spinal column discs are being eaten away by inflammation caused by the endless hair transplants and scalp tinting procedures he has had done.
“I have not seen these things done to him, but as an expert, I would suggest that Joey has had so much done that his body is reacting by shrinking. It is not unusual for a human being to shrink as a result of the stress that hair transplant surgery has on the body. I would think that the most he will shrink is about four inches, but I have seen men shrink as much as 6 or 7 inches when they get a case of PHT-SSS — Post Hair Transpant Shrinking Spinal Sclerosis. This is not fatal but it’s disfiguring and the deformity to the shape of the head can often be very pronounced. Back pain is also another consideration.”
So, this has to take the cake in the Joey Lawrence hair saga. It never ends. Joey has had more than his faiur share of hair heartaches and it’s only a matter of time before he starts wearing bandanas like Lief Garrett. How is Joey supposed to play the part of Slade Giuliano in the new Mildred Sclafani film that is in production at the beach in southern New Jersey.
“I think that Joey Lawrence was fitted with a wig for that motion picture which is being filmedin Seaside Heights,” said LoMarca. “The production of that film was delayed by the severe damage caused by Hurricane Sandy, so Joey has some time to try and fix this problem with his red hair thing that he has going on. Now that I think of it, Joey’s hair is officially a bigger tragedy than Hurricane Sandy. I wish I could help but it’s too late…it’s too late.”
The governnment of the United Kingdom and the family of Margaret Thatcher will not invite Argentine President Cristina Fernandez to Margaret Thatcher’s funeral next week because they still feel, after over 30 years, that the Argentinians showed malice and disrespect towards the Prime Minister while she was alive.
It has been made plain and simple that the country that brought us Eva Peron and the Catholic Church’s newest Pope is not welcomed on any level.
Thatcher, 87, who died on Monday, led Great Britain at the time of the 1982 Falklands war; ordering her armed forces to repel an Argentine invasion of the contested South Atlantic archipelago.
One British Lord got verbally abusive about the whole affair when he made some unflattering remarks about Argentina’s President.
“Mrs Thatcher’s memory should not be tarnished by this silly woman (Cristina Fernandez)who presides over her entirely weird country while wearing garish makeup and a hair style more befitting a street hustler than a world leader,” said British Funeral Advocate, Sir Leigh Drappy.
While Drappy does not speak for the government or the Thatcher family, his outrageous accusations about the Argentinian President’s appearance drew gasps from a few British reporters. When Drappy was asked to quell his outburst, he insisted on getting in one last barb into the microphone of an Argetininian reporter.
“Argentinians invaded our land — our turf — and killed several of our soldiers and to have any Argentinian presence at the funeral, especially one who looks like a hooker with tacky porcelain veneers and cakes of black eye makeup, would be a gross miscarriage of protocol and taste.”
The Argentinian President was deeply hurt by Sir Leigh Drappy’s comments, but she admitted that she had no intentions of going to the memorial service anyway.
“President Fernandez will be enjoying a beauty and spa treatment in Buenos Aires, and she is not at all missing that woman or caring in the least about Mrs. Thatcher,” said a representative for the Argentine Council on Diplomacy and International Protocol.
To add insult to injury, on top of not being invited to the memorial service, the service itself will be themed so as to glorify Thatcher’s conquest over the Falkland Islands. In other words, the funeral itself will be Falkland themed. This whole thing has President Fernandez in a fury of bad temper and over the past several days she has been wearing more and more eye makeup and wearing dresses from the 1980s she bought at an antique store. It looks like President Cristina is a little more than annoyed that she will not be at the memorial service and that fact alone is making her act a little quirky.
“Let’s face the facts,” said Sir Leigh Drappy, “Cristina Fernandez would have had the eyes of the world on her if she were in attendance at Lady Thatcher’s memorial and funeral. When will a hot mess like her ever get a chance like that again? She is only recognized by Argentinians, but she has missed her moment to make headlines and that’s driving her to madness and makeup.”
TheDamienZone think that the British are behaving very badly and Sir Leigh Drappy owes President Christina Fernandez, a beautiful and gracious woman, a very big apology.