Author Archive

Justin Bieber DUI in Miami. Is He Struggling With His Sexuality?

BIEBER bj“If I had to guess I would say that Justin Bieber is on the down low (SECRET GAY) with these types and he can’t deal with his desires for bad boys and drugs and alcohol.  He didn’t sing that song ‘BOYFRIEND’ for nothing you know. ”  [ANONYMOUS]

Justin Bieber is in hot water — and this time it’s boiling with a Mandingo fury.

The 19-year-old Canadian singing tween star who is trying so hard to be “hard-core” and mature, was arrested for speeding last night in Miami and will probably be charged with drunk driving…he failed a field sobriety test.  He couldn’t drive fast enough to escape for his desire for ebony love.

Bieber’s behavior as been really bad for a few years, but in the past few weeks he seems to be in a rapid tailspin.  Unlike child star Joey Lawrence, Justin Bieber still has a full head of hair.  Joey lost his hair but he didn’t completely lose his mind – unless you count 20,000 hair plugs and waxing every hair off his body and tweezing his eyebrows and wearing makeup and elevator shoes.  Bieber, on the other hand,  seems to be losing his mind and he might lose his life if he doesn’t have some kind of iintervention. 

“John F. Kennedy Jr had a better chance of getting to Nantucket in his plane than Justin Bieber has of living to be 20,” said Dr. Raymond Tote-Tundy MD, a psychiatrist and the author of the scientific study, The Psychology of Celebrities and Why They Fall.

“Bieber has deep psychological issues which he is trying to fight by using modern day iconic figures and areas of thought. He has tied himself to hardcore rap music stars and underground rap stars to try to lock in some sense of masculinity and maleness.

“Bieber could be struggling with any number of teenage woes.  The question is; which inner problem is he struggling with?

“Is he struggling with his sexuality? Is he addicted to drugs? Is he an alcoholic? Is he an alcoholic who is addicted to drugs and alcohol and is gay or bisexual for black rap stars? I can’t say, but unless a teenager is mentally ill, the struggles of adolescence usually have a hidden cause such as I have mentioned and these struggles come to a full boil at age 18 or 19. If the problems go unrecognized, the whole house of cards begins to fall.

“In Bieber’s case. It’s hard to tell when he needs adult guidance or peer counseling because he is surrounded 24-7 by sycophants who tell him that everything he does is okay. He soon sees himself as all-knowing and omnipotent, but the subconscious mind that unhappily goes along for this ride, never stops trying to break through and tell Justin the truth about himself. It’s hard for the subconscious mind to develop normally when everyone tells you how great you are — and then the damage is unfixable.

“Bieber seems to have been experimenting with drugs and alcohol, and the fact that he recently was accused of throwing eggs on his neighbor’s home is very telling indeed. The egging of the house is a sign that the child in Bieber — his inner struggle if you will — is struggling to get out and be normal again, but he can never be normal again. His mother ruined all of that when she plastered this child on YouTube and made him a worldwide sensation. He is the new Judy Garland but his decline into decay is happening much more rapidly than it did in so many child stars who came before him. Child stars who survive their child stardom, usually show that skill at a young age, and child stars who implode usually show their decline at an early age as well.”

Sources close to TheDamienZone,com say that Bieber had fled to Miami under the guise of checking into rehab as a ruse to get the police off his back with relation to drug charges and the egging of his neighbor’s house in Los Angeles.

“Justin has a thing for hardcore rap thugs. If I had to guess I would say that Justin Bieber is on the down low with these types and he can’t deal with his desires for bad boys and drugs and alcohol. I am not sure that this is what’s happening, but it seems pretty obvious to me anyway.” [anonymous - Hollywod, CA USA]   Follow us  @TheDamienZone

Be the first to comment - What do you think?
Posted by Damien - January 23, 2014 at 9:23 am

Categories: Across America, Damien Zone, Featured Across America, Featured Hollywood, Featured Joey Lawrence, Featured World News, Health and Medical, Hollywood, Joey Lawrence, Top Stories, World News   Tags:

HOAX About Dogs Poop North and South Magnetic Fields – HOAX!

dogshit

Many or most of my readers know by now that I am NOT a fan of the stupid stuff people “share” on Facebook.

If you know anything about me, you should know that I view Facebook as the long-lost, ancestral homeland of the Simpletons — a species of sub intellects who pass along mindless and moronic garbage — and that includes pics of their children and grandchildren, assorted pets, plates of food, their new car, Victorian era screw-you greeting cards and “likes” or “clicks” for babies who need heart transplants  – you know the drill — or maybe you don’t.

Yeah, so I hate stupid Facebook shit, and wouldn’t you know that the newest moronic Facebook share — a hardened turd of info that is now shared by the average Facebook moron — is actually about shit — dog shit. Does it get any dumber?  Yes, it does.

Perhaps you’ve already gotten the “dogs poop north and south story” shared on your wall.  And, the odds are overwhelming that the version you got was shared by some idiot (besides yourself) who you know to be a simple-minded numbskull.

I found it on my Facebook page - six times this week alone.

Yes, I admit to having a Facebook page, but mine exists only as a scientific experiment. My Facebook is there for all the world to see with the hope that it will be that shining star on a hill which will lead morons to that happier place where they can forever share their silly stories and fake celebrity quotes and pictures of food and “click if you like baby heart transplants.”. But— when you drag dog shit into the whole thing, I draw the line.

LISTEN, MORONS: DOGS DO NOT LINE UP THEIR BODIES IN A NORTH-SOUTH DIRECTION WHEN THEY POOP. THIS IS NOT TRUE. IT’S NOT EVEN CUTE OR FUN OR SILLY. IT’S FRIGHTENING BECAUSE IT SHOWS THAT THE EXTREME DUMBNESS OF FACEBOOK HAS GONE TOO FAR. AND THAT THE PROVERBIAL “MORONIC FACEBOOK SHARER” IS NOW VENTURING INTO THE WORLD OF FAKE SCIENTIFIC STUDY.

You might ask, “Why so angry, Damien?” or “How do YOU know it’s not true?”

Firstly, I am not angry. I am never angry. People simply assume that I’m angry.  It’s not true.  I am not even slightly angry.  Also, 1) I do not live in my mom’s basement. 2) I am not “off my meds” and 3) I am not “pathetic” — and I do not need to, 4) “Get a life!“

Save those played-out comments for that old hag Arianna “ I-married-a-gay-politician-to-get-into-the-USA” Huffington. That’s just about her speed. As for me, I am not angry.  Of course I detest Arianna Huffington, but that doesn’t mean I’m angry. It just means I hate that old sack of Hellenistic piece of dog shit — and speaking of dog shit….

I now know all about it and the incredibly stupid stories about dog shit and polar magnetic fields because I asked experts — and nobody gets better experts than I do.

My experts are so informed about everything that one of them even knows all there is to know about dog shit. I doubt that he’s very proud of that fact, but he sure sounds like he is.  Perhaps he always knew that someday his knowledge of dog shit and the shitting dogs who shit out that dog shit would come in handy, and that someday…is today.

“I have seen the stories floating around in social media about a study of dogs and their compass-like process of defecation,” said Dr. Wilhelm Thiess PhD, a retired professor of Zoology and a Companion Animal Behavior Expert.

“This silly thing started with a totally unscientific study which was put out for public consumption by a fringe publication called FRONTIERS IN ZOOLOGY. Whomever wrote that absurd report accommodated his or her own silliness by adding the disclaimer that dogs do not always align their feces according to the magnetic field of the earth. They added that the earth’s magnetic field is sometimes unsteady and the dog will do its business in whichever direction he or she pleases. 

“I was not aware that the earth’s magnetic field is ever unsteady. The reason I was not aware of that fact is because it it’s not a fact at all.  What is indeed a fact, however, is that a dog will pass its feces wherever and whenever and in whichever direction it desires.  Dogs have no bathroom etiquette or geographical coordinates in mind when they defecate unless you count the dogs who are housebroken, and even then there is no magnetic influence on where they drop their fecal load. 

“If you want my unabashed opinion on this, I think the person who fathered this silly story has an OCD problem.  Perhaps this person is not content with the way their dog aligns his fecal matter and they wish it would always point in a certain direction. This person might have some kind of demented moral compass, but a dog’s anus has no compass of any kind.  This is why we have pooper-scooper laws.

“If you ask me, the larger problem would be the people who walk their dogs with garbage bags in their hands with the intent of picking up the feces, but we all know that when no one is around most people will not pick up the feces. The plastic bag is a ruse, and that’s as it should be. Dogs should be allowed to defecate wherever they want and that excrement should be allowed to degrade naturally on a city street or a country road regardless if it’s pointing north, south, east or west.  In Germany, it’s considered to be good luck if you step in it.”

Thank you, Dr. Thiess for your expert opinion.

Now, as much as I hate to ask — please SHARE THIS ARTICLE on your Facebook page. You might be saving a dog from being euthanized by a crazed owner who things there must be something incredibly wrong with their dog who shits in the wrong direction.  Hey, crazier things have happened.

One last thing from a mega Zoologist who also happens to be a popular television and film writer.  You can read more about him here:  http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3834680/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1

“Oh, this dumb thing again?  Listen, dogs walk in small circles when they prepare to poop because they are showing their instinctive behavior of trampling the tall grasses where they would hide from larger predators in the days before they became mankind’s companions. If you watch wild dogs, they make about 5 turns before they excrete feces.  This is the observed behavior that probably led to this stupid hoax.  It’s funny and amusing to some extent, but there is truly no real science behind this story about dogs laying down their feces in a north-south direction. It’s an internet hoax — and it really worked for the hoaxers because so many people have asked me about this in the past few weeks.  Listen, dogs will shit wherever they want.  They have no anal compass.  Good luck dismissing this stupid myth.”

Be the first to comment - What do you think?
Posted by Damien - January 3, 2014 at 8:49 pm

Categories: Across America, Damien Zone, Featured Across America, Featured Hollywood, Featured World News, Health and Medical, Hollywood, Top Stories, World News   Tags:

Mystery of Cruise Ship Virus SOLVED! Scientist Gets Idea Watching Theresa Caputo – The Long Island Medium.

teresa“I thought to myself, ‘How the hell is she going to get all the microorganisms from that ground meat off of her fingernails? How is she going to wash all of those salmonella and E. Coli bacteria out from the crevices of those white claws?”’ [Damien LeGallienne, 22, December, 2013, TheDamienZone.com]

The “Long Island Medium” Theresa Caputo, very recently aired her very fake Christmas 2013 Episode — “fake” because it was filmed last year. 

In that VERY SPECIAL FAKE EPISODE of “THE VERY FAKE LONG ISLAND MEDIUM” Theresa engaged in a heart-warming meatball-making contest.

Theresa’s meatballs (no bread crumbs please) were pitted against those made by her master-chef-mother-in-law. It was a spirited competition to be sure, and I think her mother-in-law was named Connie. I also think that Connie, in all probability, takes at least two blood pressure pills per day and she likes to talk about those medications more than she likes talking about her cooking.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Even if the writer is guessing that mom-in-law’s name is Connie and that she takes blood pressure meds, what are the odds that he’s right? Pretty good, wouldn‘t you say?

I acknowledge, quite painfully, that the elite Caputo family is very high-born and refined and that I am not. I am also keenly aware that an Italian-America meatball-making contest out on Long Island, New York is as sporting and highbrow as a polo match in Beverly Hills or a game of cricket at Ascot, England — all are out my league.

Theresa Caputo and her high society family never fail to make me excruciatingly aware of my own humble roots. Sometimes I even lie and tell people that Theresa is my cousin because I want to improve my image and my social standing within my community.

The Caputo’s cause me to get what psychologists call “status anxiety” but yet I watch. I guess it’s a kind of masochism or something. I know I will never reach the top of Mount Caputo. Sadly, I have never been to Center Moriches or Massapequa or Oyster Bay, but I can live vicariously through that wonderful woman who pretends that she can speak to the dead, and who, by the way, eventually beat her mother-in-law in the Italian-American-Christmas-Meatball-Making Contest of 2013 that was actually filmed in the late summer of 2012. Where’d they get all those poinsettias anyway?

All of this is sorta-kinda beside the point, because my real reason for writing this blog entry is to talk about women with overly long acrylic fingernails and the dreaded cruise ship virus that ruins the dream vacations of diarrhea-ers and vomiters who end up quarantined in their poop-stinking cabins.

“The smell of human stool was everywhere on our ship. Even if you went to the highest part of the ship, even to the mast, you could smell the vomit and feces and the overall combination of both fragrances.”[ Elaine Stritch, Broadway stage actress and passenger on a a cruise ship where 50% of the passengers came down with the cruise ship illness.]

So I think I may have made an incredibly giant scientific discovery, and I have no one to thank but Theresa Caputo and her meat-stinking fingernails for this serendipitous insight into a scientific mystery.

I remember as kid learning about a scientist — a chemist named Frederic August Kekule — who figured out the molecular structure of the chemical benzene. For many years the chemical was used and made and experimented with, but nobody could figure out its molecular structure.

Kekule said that he made his discovery whilst dreaming about a snake biting its own tail, and today we now know all about the very important “benzene ring.” Ironically, Kekule and I both ventured into the unknown world of spirits and dreams, and we both came up with fantastic scientific discoveries that will change the world.

Here’s the thing. While Theresa was making her meatballs, I noticed that her acrylic nails were very long and disgusting. She was mixing ground pork, veal, beef and eggs with her bare hands — and those nails.

I thought to myself, “How the hell is she going to get all the microorganisms from that ground meat off of her fingernails? How is she going to wash all of those salmonella and E. Coli bacteria out from the crevices of those white claws? She may have won the meatball-making contest, but she had no chance of winning the war on diarrhea.

Certainly Theresa Caputo must take great pride in her gaudy talons, and there is no way on earth that she is about to wash her hands very thoroughly — as per cruise ship regulations — simply because her manicure is obviously more important to her than causing her dinner guests to shit their brains out and puke on the side of the Long Island Expressway after a meal at her home.

Naturally, the more loathsome consequences of Theresa’s unsanitary nails got me to thinking, “How does Theresa Caputo wipe her ass with nails like that?” Then I realized that even though she might wash her hands after pooping, she can’t possibly scrub her nails too. She’s not going to ruin her manicure — no shot.

Then I connected the dots. I figured out how the cruise ship virus — Norwalk Virus or norovirus — is spread. I know how it happens. The answer was right there on the tips of our fingers. Well, maybe not “our” fingers, but the fingers of women with long acrylic nails who cannot possibly wipe their asses properly and who must also not WASH those nails which get coated with a gentle smearing of feces and stool and poop.

And then…THEN THEY TOUCH SOMETHING….and you touch it. Then you touch something else, and before you know it, everybody is shitting and puking and moaning and groaning. The vacation is ruined. Those afflicted are quarantined to their cabins while the poopy-fingernail women lounge by the pool drinking a Pina Colada — unaware, or perhaps not even caring, that their long acrylic nails harbor grave dangers — million and billions of microbes that came out in their poop.

I talked to one physician about my idea.  He sat and stared at me in astonishment.  At first I thought he was going to say that I was insane, but then he hugged me and said that I was a genius.   Here is is his statement. teresa1

“Women with long, acrylic or even natural fingernails, cannot possibly clean their anuses properly after they pass stool because the toilet paper must be held with the nail tips. Most women fear breaking or chipping these nails because they have spent a great deal of money at the nail salon before going on the cruise. Naturally feces gets on and in the fingernails.

“Unless a women is pre-prepared with any of the various rectal cleansing foams or creams, or she is very diligent about washing her hands and scrubbing her nails, the norovirus is spread as soon as they leave the restroom. I know of no woman with nails like that who would sacrifice the nail for the sanitization.

“This selfish and unsanitary behavior readily spreads the dreaded Cruise Ship Virus, and in my opinion, women with long acrylic nails should not be allowed on a cruise ship. I have seen women with these kinds of nails who intentionally avoid the alcohol hand sanitizers offered all over the cruise ship. The alcohol in the hand sanitizer ruins their nails, and most of the time these self-centered and provincially vain women are headed into one of the ship’s restaurants where they will readily spread their stool (feces), which lives on those nails, onto everything they touch.”

Dr. Traherne continued:

“Damien LeGallienne‘s hypothesis, while written in a seemingly lighthearted and snarky manner, appears to be very viable and worthy of immediate investigation and research.

“If I were a betting man, and far less prone to speaking and thinking like a scientist and a physician, I would say that Damien LeGallienne has made a great discovery.  His theory, something which was gleaned from simply watching an Italian-American psychic mix raw meat with bare hands which were decorated with long, white, acrylic nails, will prove to be the reason the norovirus spreads so readily on a cruise ship.  It’s been the long, painted  and feces tainted fingernails all along. How could we have missed that?  It was literaly right at our fingertips.” [Dr. Dean Traherne MD, Plum Island Norovirus Research Center.]

Lesson learned, folks? Women with long, acrylic nails, should not be making meatballs with their bare hands, even when they are not making food.   When they poop, these women should always use rectal cleansing foams or creams.  Also, they should thoroughly wash and scrub those nails even if doing so results in damage to the nails.  Furthermore, I urge all  travelers and the people who love them, to write to your Congressman and ask thim or her to prepare a law that will ban women with these shit-covered fingernails from EVER getting on a plane or a cruise ship. They are spreading human feces all over the world.

Damien LeGallienne reporting for TheDamienZone.com.

COMMENTING ON THE DAMIEN ZONE IS VERY EASY.  NO NEED TO SIGN UP OR CROSS CHECK EMAILS.  LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK.

Be the first to comment - What do you think?
Posted by Damien - December 23, 2013 at 2:20 am

Categories: Across America, Damien Zone, Featured Across America, Featured Hollywood, Featured World News, Health and Medical, Hollywood, Top Stories, World News   Tags:

Dave Muscato’s Atheist Anti-Christmas Billboard in Times Square.

muscato

 “You would have to be a mentally sick, and self-loathing demented individual to be the guy behind the hateful atheist billboard in Times Square. 

“It’s one thing to not believe in god, but it becomes something totally different when you make it your life’s work.  It’s a kind of perversion.  This kind of sick devotion to any one thing is unnatural.  It’s as unnatural as can be.

“There is nothing wrong with being an atheist. It’s actually quite normal to not believe in a higher power. but when you make it your career, there is something seriously wrong somewhere.  That kind of overt atheism is almost always the hallmark of unhappiness or some deeper issues.  Some doctors have called this the “Misfit Syndrome” and it explains a great deal of strange and  childishly mischievous anti-social behaviour.

“This is why Dave Muscato cannot be normal or anywhere near close to normal in his mind.  He is in my opinion a sick person.   He is intentionally trying to draw attention to himself because something else is seriously wrong with his life and his sense of self.  I don’t think it’s possible to be less interesting or lowlier than this pitiful creature.”

“In the case of Dave Muscato, all you have to do is look at him to understand why he hates god enough to make atheism his raison d’etre.  He is ugly in every way a person can be ugly.  He is a monster.  His own parents must want to slit their wrists when they see and hear this monster they’ve created.  Nobody could be proud of this.  It’s not possible.  Dave Muscato is somebody’s cross — if you’ll pardon the expression.

“If there is any justice in the universe, Dave’s parents are either dead –  spared from the humiliation of having a son such as Dave —  or they gave this guy up for adoption when he was born– which was right about the time he started getting hopelessly ugly and spitefully cruel.” [Damien LeGallienne 13 December, 2013]

Dave Muscato, an avowed atheist and Public Relations Director for American Atheists (sick people who hate openly on Christian beliefs because Muslims would kill them in 10 minutes) should seek treatment for his Cushing’s Syndrome or whatever it is that is causing his severe mental illness.  He is truly sick and cruel.  He is a waste of life.  He’s a monster — unstoppable because he has no shame and no conscience — none.  What kind of twisted mind would find pleasure or principle in dismissing the religious beliefs of other people simply to get attention?  Would this slob have the balls ( if you could find them) to say such a thing about the religious observations of Muslims?   Of course not.  He is a big, fat coward.  He’d piss himself.

“If Dave Muscato were an attractive man, he would not take such pleasure in pissing on the beliefs of others.  Believe me, I am no church-goer, but my basic instincts tell me that he’s out of his mind – delusional to some extent.  It’s not so hard for me as psychiatrist to dismiss all of this childish and michievous behaviour simply based on the fact that this man is unhappy and lonely.  You really need not look any deeper medically, but were I hard put for an instant diagnosis I would say he has signs of Cushing’s — one form or another.  I would start there — looking for a physical illness and then perhaps venture into his mind.  My best guess is that his entire personality and appearance can be explained with a few well-placed CT scans.” [Phyllis James MD Phd, London, England.]

Go ahead and call me childish for calling him names and quoting people who think he’s more than just a kooky atheist. This is what he and the people he represents deserve. I am merely copying him and his flock. Their billboard in Times Square is childish and stupid and my response to it is on the same level.atheist

The Damien Zone thinks that this fat, grotesquely ugly, disgusting-looking, fat turd is the most vile, cruel, stupid, silly, unhappy, miserable fat slob turd-sucking,  piece of shit on the face of the earth.  How about that, Dr. James?

“If a medical doctor can easily determine that Dave Muscato’s quest in life could possibly be part and parcel of his physical ugliness, how easy must it be for all of us humble observers to simply dismiss him as an ugly asshole?” [Elise LeFevre, Liege, Belgium]

Perhaps Dave Muscato is actually “sick” in his brain. Maybe he has an organic brain disease like Cushing’s Disease/Syndrome (he has the facial features of someone with that disease) or else he has a brain tumour that causes strange behaviour.

“Cushing’s Disease or Cushing’s Syndrome are manifestations of the same basic imbalance of the hormone cortisol and cortisol stimulating pre-hormones.  The signs and symptoms of the ‘syndrome’ are caused by either a pituitary tumour or an adrenal gland tumour.  In either case, the symptoms are the same and Dave Muscato certainly has the body shape and the facial manifestations of the syndrome.   He has what we call “moon facies” which means the weight gain in his face is not the kind of facial fat one associates with normal obesity.  This doesn’t mean Dave Muscato has this disease, but he has signs, and that’s instantly what would jump into the thought process of any competent physician. 

“Sometimes, when there is a significant amount of abnormal mental behaviour and anger and resentment which is accompanied by truncal obesity ( bulging stomach) and moon facies, the cause is an ectopic ( outside the adrenal or pituitary)  malignant tumor that is hidden for years and grows otherwise quietly until it’s too late. 

“The patient is assumes that he or she is simply gaining weight in their abdomen and face and  they believe that they are behaving normally.  Usually, it is a family member who sees the behavioural disturbances and the strange distribution of fat and seeks help for those afflicted. 

“This weight gain and round facial fat and mental anguish can go on for many years, but an ectopic source – lungs, kidney, colon, etc.,  is a serious and almost always a deadly malignancy that has festered for a long time.”  

“These hidden tumours hide in body and secrete a hormone called ACTH.  Cushing’s is usually identified by a myriad of symptoms — chief among them being a condition called “moon facies” ( moon face) and more often we find many mental illnesses manifesting in various degrees.  Anger and frustration and even frank psychosis are factors inherent to a diagnosis of Cushing’s.  I can usually tell a Cushing’s patient as soon as one comes before me, but sometimes I am fooled and the patient is actually suffering from any number of mental illnesses.  It’s the round face, sweatiness, hairy body and bald head and the constant and angry indignation that usually slams the lid on it for me.  Usually a person has been through that kind of testing before they come to me, but sometimes it’s the other way around.”

Maybe —  and this is the saddest part of all — Dave Muscato isn’t sick with any deadly disease.  Maybe he is simply the most grotesque human being on the face of the earth because he hates himself so much that he welcomes any attention — even hatred — and none of this has anything to do with his “moon facies” or “truncal obesity” or the other possibilities of physiological diseases that affect the mind.

In my opinion, Dave Muscato is ugly beyond all human comprehension — more on the inside than on the outside.  The outside is unbearably ugly, so saying that he is even uglier on the inside, is really a stretch.

There are no other other possible explanations for this homely and balloon-faced, ugly man-child who thinks that getting on Fox News –behaving and boasting like a neurotic child — is an achievement.  This is NOT an achievement.  It’s his very own burlap monkey from which he can suckle so as to make up for all the things he was unable to achieve in real life.  It’s play acting layered over some kind of arrested development.

By the way, if you didn’t already know, Dave Muscato is the guy behind the posting of the Take Christ Out of Christmas billboard that is disgracing Time’s Square, and Dave “doesn’t care if you are offended by his billboard.”

“What purpose does the billboard serve?  If you don’t believe in god, or Christ or Christmas, what’s the deal?  How can you defame something that does not exist?  Dave Muscato doesn’t understand that very simple fact because he’s not only fat and ugly, he’s stupid and bitchy too.  How lonely and attention starved is this grotesque queen?   I cannot imagine the solitude and loneliness of this sack of shit — this enormously unfuckable lump of unhappiness and excess adipose tissue.”  [Carole Montrache, Phd Skylight Institute.]

Let me tell you what I think about this fat unhappy pig man – this moon faced, ugly, bald, unhappy scum bag.

He was always ugly within, and because he was always the outwardly ugly guy everywhere he went, he learned to hate himself because he is grotesque to look at.  Then, he took that self-hatred and turned it even more inward.   When he had eaten away at his inner self, he turned that same hatred and pointed it at NORMAL people, or people who are considered to be “normal.”   This is why he taunts people.  When I was a child I was told,  ‘C’est L’hstoire d’un tyran,’ or this is the story of a bully.”

The more Dave Muscato moves forward with his hatred of god or faith or anything “wholesome” besides a third helping of mashed potatoes, the more he hopes to become attractive.  But he will always fail.  He will never attract what he really wants to attract.  He will always be rejected.  It’s pretty sad. 

Furthermore, ‘il vit dans une profonde tristesse et c’est sa vie,’ is what I say.   He lives in a deep sadness and such is his life.

Dave Muscato never could draw anyone toward him in real life during his formative years, so now he tries to do it by shocking and taunting people.  He is forever living in that awful playground where he was a fat and ugly kid who had this inner, hateful monster who was waiting to emerge.  He is forever the young guy in the bar who couldn’t get a date or a hook up.  He’s always the fat guy in the back of the picture.  The smile is forced and unwanted.  People wish they could erase him from the photo.

In spite of his ugliness and fatness and moon face, I wouldn’t even spit on this guy, but he is a monster on the inside and GOD or DNA or ALIENS FROM SPACE or KARMA has brought that all to the surface.  Now he is FUGLY all over.  If he were a hot guy, he wouldn’t have to behave like the miserably horrific and loathsome queen that he seems to be.

You see now?  You see how simple everything really is when you boil it down to its basic elements?

Damien LeGallienne reporting for TheDamienZone.com.  Brussels, Belgium.  

 

 

6 comments - What do you think?
Posted by Damien - December 13, 2013 at 9:41 pm

Categories: Across America, Damien Zone, Featured Across America, Featured Politics, Featured World News, Politics, Top Stories, World News   Tags:

Giorgio Tsoukalos Plastic Surgery Rumors.

giorgio11111He may only be 35 years old, but ancient astronaut expert Giorgio Tsoukalos looks like he may have had a lot of plastic surgery and a bit of a hairline enhancement at the same time.  We are not sure if he did or he didn’t but rumors of giorgio’s plastic surgery are flying around the earth faster than ancient, alien astronauts.

“Giorgio’s facial skin didn’t used to be as smooth and peachy as it is now and it looks like he may have had a brow lift, an eye job and some chemical peeling done on his face,” said plastic surgeon Dean Traherne MD.

“Botox is certainly in play here, and Giorgio looks like he  had some a lot of hair plugs added to his head so as to lower the length of his forehead. His hair was receding back rapidly, so in order to compensate for that, Giorgio continued to fluff it up. To compensate for that, Giorgio Tsoukalos has had hair transplants. I am not sure if that’s the case, it could be a frontal wig,  but he has certainly had a lot of work done on his hair and his face.”

The Damien Zone thinks that Giorgio had to do something because he was starting to look like a cross between Larry Fine from The Three Stooges and Vic Tayback who played the character of Mel in the 1970s sitcom “Alice“ which starred Linda Lavin — who, by the way —  is rumored to be the most difficult actress to work with in all of show business.

According to Dr. Traherne, Greek men or men with Greek ancestry, often have a tendency to age rapidly in the facen and Girogio, in spite of his Swiss citizenship, is a Greek – 100%.   John Stamos might still have hair on his head but he’s one Greek who beat the genetic odds.   

“Usually by the time a Greek guy has reached his thirties, he has grown very hairy and bald and old looking. I know many Greek men who are only in their twenties but would easily pass in the USA as someone in their late 40s. This is probably what has happened to Giorgio and now that he is in the public eye and adored my millions of child-minded people who believe that ancient aliens did everything from building the pyramids to making ancient volcanoes blow up, he has to have a movie-star kind of image.  His tan is very fake and he shouldn’t be tanning or using fake tan products after having what I think is a lot of plastic surgery.”girogio3

The Damien Zone thinks that Giorgio should have saved the money he spent on his face and hair to getting speech and elocution lessons and so does Dr. Traherne. Here’s what he said about that.

“Giorgio Tsoukalos has dedicated his entire life to studying extraterrestrials but for some reason he can’t even pronounce the word “extraterrestrial” and that’s really strange.  He says something like ‘eshtra-treshtral.’ It’s not his slight accent that causes him to say the word incorrectly.  It sounds to me like an impediment of some kind.

“I practice plastic surgery as a profession, but at least I can pronounce it. I mean, this is his field of endeavor, and as stupid and mindless as it seems to be, the least he can do is learn how to pronounce the words that he will find himself using in that field. Hearing him say the word ‘extraterrestrial’ the way he does is painful. He sounds like he has Bell’s Palsy or some kind of neurological deficit. Maybe his pronunciation was disrupted by one of his plastic surgery procedures. It can happen, and perhpas I sound petty and cruel to even mention it, but it’s a serious problem no matter how you look at it.  It takes away from his credibilities in the area of an already silly and absurd topic, or he could have a medical problem.”

Some people who have analyzed the entire Giorgio Tsoukalos fanfare in a different way. Many sociological physicians and researchers believe that the entire “ancient astronaut” concept is just a way for Tsoukalos to recreate himself as a mainstream celebrity.

“It’s amazing to me that Giorgio has so much knowledge about something that never really happened,” said Dr. Raymond Tote-Tundy MD PHd of the Skylight Institute for Higher Learning in Switzerland.

“The whole thing is about getting famous. It’s a totally silly and childish concept and Giorgio Tsoukalos has devoted his life to studying it.

“If you look at a cloud it can look like a bunny or an elephant. The same applies to the life of human beings from ages ago. If you want to learn how they did something or how they lived, you can imagine all kinds of things, and that’s exactly what Giorgio and his comrades are doing — and they’re making a lot of money in the process. The main thing right now is the quest for fame and Giorgio is taking that too far. He has had some kind of plastic surgery. He doesn’t even look like the original Giorgio from when the show first started and this makes me question his true motives.”

We here at The Damien Zone think that Giorgio looks, at the very least, RESTED, and in our world, that means that he probably has had some kind of cosmetic procedure. We will have to look close, but while we’re doing that, Giorgio better learn how to pronounce the word “EXTRATERRESTRIAL” because the word is not “ESTRA-TRESH-TRULL.”  Get that word right, Giorgio and stop having plastic surgery.  You are starting to look like a Greek lady.

Be the first to comment - What do you think?
Posted by Damien - December 12, 2013 at 2:17 pm

Categories: Across America, Damien Zone, Featured Across America, Featured Hollywood, Featured Politics, Featured World News, Health and Medical, Hollywood, Politics, Top Stories, World News   Tags:

Nicholas Cage New Film — NOT !! Coppola’s Family of No Talents.

nickoHas- been actor, Nicholas Cage,  has been begging some studios for an acting job, however, no one seems likely to hire Nick for any acting job, Not even his uncle, American film director producer and screenwriter, Francis Ford Coppola who is famous for The Godfather and also for having the most untalented daughter in the history of cinema.  I am talking of course about Sophia Coppola.  If only her final scene in GODFATHER III had been real. 
Francis Ford Coppola also has the world’s most untalented sister.  You might remember her — Talia Shire?  She played Adrian in the ROCKY movies.  She never did anything else except give birth to the unbelievably untalented and mole-covered face “actor” Jason Schwartzman. 
If you think about it, the amount of NO TALENT in this Coppola family is way out of proportion to people in real life.  Why are they all in the movie business?
Mr, Coppola , I was told by a well-known director, told Nicholas that he , Nick, has lost not only his looks , but his appeal to the ladies under 60 (and some over 60).  Even Cher will refuse to be with him in Moonstruck II because she probably knows that it will bomb and she will waste all that time putting on that awful fake and stupid and insulting Italian-American Brooklyn accent.  Cher is in good with Francis Ford Coppola and she is content to know that her son Chaz Bono will play the part of Don Corleone in “The Godfather’s Godmother.” Or as it will be called in Italy, “La Goomada e la Goombada.”
Now the Nick Cage, the star of  some forgettable films,  is desperately seeking any role he can get. He even wanted to revive the Peter Lorre role and  play Mr.Moto in a remake of a  mystery starring the Chinese detective. However, he was told that he cannot impersonate a Chinese man–that not being allowed anymore.  The Chinese are okay with a better actor playing a Chinaman, but they will not tolerate it from Nicholas Cage. 
So Cage is one of the youngest actors ever to enter the  twilight of his career before his night darkened. I suppose Cage has no one to blame but himself for being a lousy actor in some dreadful pictures. If he had been more selective as he got older he might not have cast himself in such duds as “Amos and Andrew” wherein he is an ex-cop who tries to balance a wife and a mistress while wearing an ugly shirt.   And then, the even worse, “Bangkok Dangerous,” wherein he screws around with girls who could be his daughters ,while  wearing the most hideous dye-job hair. ( The hair might not be real.) 
However,  Nick has won the hearts of the Chinese  movie-goers who have heaped awards on him. Perhaps the idea of Nick re-creating the role of Mr. Moto isn’t too far-fetched after all the great Peter Lorre is long dead and cannot criticize Cage’s performance.  

Be the first to comment - What do you think?
Posted by Damien - December 10, 2013 at 3:45 pm

Categories: Across America, Damien Zone, Featured Across America, Featured Hollywood, Featured World News, Hollywood, Top Stories, World News   Tags:

Photo of Man Inside Python is FAKE! Full story here.

pyth2Facebook morons who like to “share” stupid and fake things are basking in the glory of their sharing-stupidity this week. The latest photo the Facebook morons are sharing depicts a big, fat, engorged python –and they love it.

Something is inside that python, so naturally the morons are at full “sharing” throttle.

A normal person would think that a python so big and lumpy would be enough of a story all by itself.  Pythons eat really big stuff,  but that’s not enough for the Facebook Share Morons of the World. They had to add just a little spice to the story.

According to the photo that’s floating around, this python swallowed a drunk doctor who fell asleep outside of a bar in India. The ingested doctor is seen as an amorphous lump within the python.

Does it matter that the same exact photo is captioned with the gruesome story that the a hapless Chinese man was eaten when he was attacked in a rice field or that a Vietnamese family was hunted down and eaten — one by one — by the python, The lump on the right side of the python would be the mother.

What’s the truth? The truth is that this is FAKE!  The picture of the python who swallowed a human being — a drunk doctor — a Vietnamese family — a Chinese rice farmer — is FAKE!!!!! 

The photo is real, but where have you people been for the past 6 years? This photo has been around since 2007 and each year the lump inside the snake has been described as being the ingested remains of various different Third World human snake food.

Of course, TheDamienZone.com would love a world where pythons did nothing but eat third world people, but sadly this is just a photo of your garden variety python in some shitty country and it’s trying to digest a goat that was fed to it by mentally deficient people somewhere in southeast Asia — probably Indonesia. Poor python.

“The truth is that what we are seeing here is a python who swallowed a small goat at town in Indonesia. The huge engorgement that seems to be human shaped and larger than a goat is digestive fluids and lymph fluids that surround the animal while the intestinal tract tries to break it down.said Dr. Raj Pan Patel, a veterinarian in southwest India.

“This python ate a small goat as part of some ritual, and seems to be having trouble with the digestive process,” pyth1

“If you look at the first picture carefully you can see how the enlargement which is actually the shape of the ingested goat and a lot of digestive fluids, is far too down into the alimentary canal and the swelling is an attempt by the snake’s digestive system to shrink this massive meal so that it can pass it out. Often a python will have something lie within in like this for months and this is when a python is most vulnerable. It can hardly move and it can become prey for other snakes or crocodiles. This snake, if left alone for 15-30 days, will have a good chance of passing out the undigested remains. Otherwise, the python will die from exhaustion or will be attacked by other predators. You can see here how the python is already on the defense with its head raised, but that energy will run out quickly if he does not excrete this mass.  I was told by a relaibale collegue that this python is privately owned.”

So — use your common sense when you see a photograph on Facebook or one of those other moronic websites that spread this stupidity.

When someone shows you a snake and a slum in a third world country, do you expect to hear the words “drunk doctor?”

Right there the moronic Facebookers should have realized something — but they didn’t — they don’t. They never do. The moronic Facebookers who like to share stupid and fake stuff, never ends. It will go on forever because the average person is a moron. This is why TheDamienZone.com exists — to show you that there is no end to human stupidity and dumbness.

1 comment - What do you think?
Posted by Damien - December 2, 2013 at 2:30 pm

Categories: Across America, Damien Zone, Featured Across America, Featured World News, Health and Medical, Top Stories, World News   Tags:

Lesbian Waitress No Tip story is a LIE? Is Dayna Morales a Liar?

dana3“People tell lies all the time, but I think you tell them better than anyone.” [Rhoda Penmark, “The Bad Seed” 1956 ]

“NJ.com — an offshoot of the Newark Star Ledger — the dumbest newspaper in the USA — ran the story as though it was the story of the century. This piece of mindless stupidity and poor judgement was written by Sergio Bichao — a possible graduate of the Ding Dong School of Dumbness.  How could the Newark Star Ledger not have seen through this 100% bullshit story? How is it possible?  It’s possible because the Newark Star Ledger is a journalistic nightmare of stupidity and dumbness — and that’s what TheDamienZone.com seeks to expose — stupidity and dumbness. Back in the old days when people had to learn real journalism and write real stories, the Newark Star Ledger was a premier newspaper. Now it’s written by people who couldn’t pass a standard aptitude test.”  [Damien LeGallienne]

So…the lesbian-marine-waitress who supposedly got stiffed on a tip and instead got a lecture on how her lifestyle was wrong, is a liar?

You mean she made up the whole story about not getting a tip?  In other words, nobody really wrote anti-lesbian insults on their tab in lieu of a tip?  Could it be?  Is it possible that the lesbian waitress is an attention starved crazy person?  No….really? You mean she wrote that stuff herself? Really? Holy shit, dude. This can’t be true.

Sorry folks, but it’s sure starting to look like the poor lesbian waitress who was so greatly hurt and demeaned by “evil, gay hating Christian restaurant patrons” is a frikking liar — an maybe even a psycho.

Of course I knew it all along. I predicted it and I said so openly on my Facebook page — but nobody believed me. I saw through it from the very first, but of course the crazy morons out there in DimWit, Everybody is a Victim, USA refused to believe me. I was attacked as being anti-gay, but none of this was about the former marine-turned-waitress being a lesbian. I am not anti-gay. I am anti-bullshit, and anyone couldn’t see that this was all just one big fat lie is a moron.

Of course there are people who simply wanted this all to be true because their entire raison d’etre is to be victimized because of race or religion or religious oppression or issues of sexuality and sexual orientation — but a lie is a lie is a lie.

Here’s a suggestion for all you morons out there who believe everything other morons say. Go rent a film called “The Children’s Hour.”  It’s a play written in 1935 by Lillian Hellman and was put to the movie screen in 1961. It’s a ground-breaking story about lies and lesbianism.   It stars Audrey Hepburn and Shirley Maclaine. It’s a story not only about how disturbed people make up lies because they’re not happy or they’re misguided, it’s about how their lies can totally ruin the lives of innocent people.

In real life this kind of stuff happens all the time because scandalous lies are the most believed ones. Many people are inherently unkind and cruel. They like this kind of stuff and they spread it around like a cancer. They can’t face the truth about anything — especially the truth about themselves.  Bitchy lies are so much fun — until they’re about you.

Okay so what’s this lesbian waitress story all about? It’s about a girl who needs attention, She’s a lesbian and she joins the military. When that gig is up. she comes home sadly to a ho-hum life as a run-of-the-mill lesbian waitress, so she supposedly makes up a sob story that causes all kinds of simpletons to rally to her defense. They even donate money to her because she was so wronged by evil Christians.  The waitress never said anything about evil Christians.  The people who came to her defense did because that’s what they do.  That is their oxygen.

dana2What’s it called when you get money donated to you because of a lie you made up about something —- uh — oh yeah — FRAUD! I think that’s a crime, but so far the tip-stiffed lesbian US Marine has not been convicted. So far she hasn’t been charged and she probably never will be.

NJ.com — an offshoot of the Newark Star Ledger — the dumbest newspaper in the USA — ran the story as though it was the story of the century.  This piece of white dog shit was written by Sergio Bichao — a graduate of the Ding Dong School of Dumbness.  How could the Newark Star Ledger not have seen through this 100% bullshit story? How is it possible? It’s possible because the Newark Star Ledger is a journalistic nightmare of stupidity and dumbness — and that’s what TheDamienZone.com seeks to expose — stupidity and dumbness. Back in the old days when people had to learn real journalism and write real stories, the Newark Star Ledger was a premier newspaper. Now it’s written by people who couldn’t pass a standard aptitude test.

Here’s what happened.

According to Dayna Morales — the proudly lesbian waitress in question — a family stiffed her on a $100 tab because they did not approve of her lifestyle. This all happened at the Gallop Asian Bistro in Bridgewater, New Jersey. When the patrons  should have left a tip, they instead scrawled ( according to Morales) the message — “I’m sorry but I cannot tip because I do not approve of your lifestyle and how you live your life.”  This isn’t what really happened, but it was reported as the truth because Morales was taken at her word.  Nobody had the brains to figure out that she might have invented the whole story.

For some strange reason, Morales waited until the family LEFT the restaurant and then took a photo of the alleged note and published it on the eternally moronic Facebook.

But wait a second. When a waiter gets stiffed on a tip — don’t they usually chase the patron out into the parking lot?  Doesn’t the manager almost always come over and demand a tip?  Why did Morales wait?  Well….you can guess now.dana

Of course Dayna Morales’ story fit all the criteria of stupidity and mawkish dumbness – and  it went viral.  Every numbskull in the world rallied to the defense of this poor lesbian soldier who was wronged by evil Christians. But it didn’t really ever happen.  It was fun while it lasted — at least it was fun for the morons who believed it.  How frigging stupid are people?  I mean it.  HOW FRIGGING STUPID AND GULLIBLE AND DESPERATE FOR ATTENTION CAN PEOPLE BE?    It’s mind boggling that this story even got past the front cash register at this stupid restaurant.

I am going to keep telling you over and over that it didn’t happen because there are a lot of readers who don’t read properly. They see only that I am taking pokes at an alleged “lying lesbian waitress” who, in my opinion, is indeed a mega-liar and a girl who either created a story that got out of hand, or maybe she needs medical help. There’s nothing wrong with being a lesbian, but what’s going to happen now to lesbians who are really beat down in life because of their lesbianism? Are they forever going to be labeled as people who make shit up to get attention? Probably.  And that will be Dayna Morales’ legacy.  Because of her stupid story, nobody will believe anything like this again.  It might even open the door for real life non-tippers to save a few bucks.

Of course the people who rallied to Morales’ defense when they thought she was a wronged lesbian, will not do anything to help her when they find out that she’s just another attention-starved lying crackpot. There’s nothing interesting about that. There’s no cheering section for the average half-baked bird brain.

Morales is on her own now. She’ll never be remembered as the girl who lied about getting a hate note instead of a tip or anything like that — she’ll just fade away and keep getting more body ink.  Eventually that little hair spike in the front of her head will turn gray and she’ll walk down the aisle in a tuxedo and marry the gullible girl of her dreams.

So anyway — you should have seen the comments that poured in from the masses when the lesbian waitress was wronged by the evil anti Christian non-tipper family.

Naturally, the officially mentally retarded Asbury Park websites and newsletters, had to get in on this, and then it all exploded into a frenzy of hot-mess-gay-equality-abysmal-trashiness.

For those of you who don’t know, you will kindly note that Asbury Park, NJ is an absolute dump. It might be the cheesiest city in the USA. It’s a shit hole to end all shit holes. There is nothing dumber or creepier than Asbury Park.  Every year Asbury Park has a huge Zombie Festival on their seaside promenade and they don’t have to change a thing to prepare for the event. They don’t have to make the town look post-apocalyptic and they don’t have to change their clothes or faces. It’s all ready-made. It’s already an off-the-rack monster-ville. It has its own unique variety of stupidity and decrepitude and atrociousness. It’s even worse than the Gowanus Canal dolphin people — that’s pretty hard to be — but I digress.

Finally, the people who allegedly stiffed the lesbian waitress out of her gratuity were tracked down, and guess what — they produced the REAL receipt and they had indeed left Morales a 19% tip — and their credit card proved it. Did Morales make this all up? It sure looks like it.  Not only did the diners leave her a tip — they never wrote any nasty message about Morales’ “lifestyle” or anything like that.   I so love it when I am right — I was soooooooo right about this.

Of course her bosses at the restaurant didn’t fire Morales straight off because they have to let the truth sink into the minds of the morons who worship the sacred ground of the wronged lesbian, Thy have to be careful when they tiptoe around this lunacy because a lot of STUPID people gave money to this Morales person — lots of it. What’s going to happen to that money?

Supposedly Morales is going to donate it to the Wounded Warrior Project because that sure beats going to jail for fraud.

So what’s the “Morales” of this story?  The Morales (moral) of this story is to VERIFY your frigging sources when you report something in a major newspaper no matter how shitty that newspaper might be.  The moral of this story is to use your brain.  If you couldn’t figure out that this was one big bullshit story from the very start, you should not be allowed to even write in a coloring book.

15 comments - What do you think?
Posted by Damien - November 27, 2013 at 4:35 am

Categories: Across America, Damien Zone, Featured Across America, Featured Hollywood, Featured Politics, Featured World News, Health and Medical, Hollywood, Politics, Top Stories, World News   Tags:

Woman named Lucille and Hotel Bill Facebook Story is a “Cruel Hoax.”

stokes“I never said my name was Lucille and I never stayed along in any hotel.  I do not remember this and why are people saying lies about me?   Why are people saying I did this?  I do not remember doing this.  If I did it I am sorry but I don’t remember and I wish I would never have known about this.  I have ben through so much and this is very disturbing.  I don’t think I want to go out of my home now.  I am very hurt and frightened.”  [Kathleen Stokes, age 84, New York, USA]

Facebook is the final frontier of the simple-minded and easily fooled. It’s a sewer for human brain waste and stupidity, but just when you think that the moronic Facebooker who “shares” has learned his or her lessons — it all comes back around again.  This time it cost a happy elderly woman her sense of dignity and her confidence and maybe even her life. 

Kathleen Stokes, age 84 knows all about Facebook share morons — she’s this week’s hero and the newest patron saint for the imbeciles of Facebook who share fake stories. Kathleen isn’t in on the stupidity and she herself is not a Facebook moron. All she did was smile for the camera and now her happy life has folded in half. 

What am I talking about?

The FAKE story — plastered over a photo of Mrs. Stokes — goes like this: 

Lucille decided to give herself a big treat for her 70th birthday by staying overnight in a really nice hotel.. When she checked out the next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.00. She demanded to know why the charge was so high “I agree it’s a nice hotel, but the rooms aren’t worth $250..00 for just an overnight stay – I didn’t even have breakfast!” The clerk told her that $250.00 is the ‘standard rate,’ and breakfast had been included had she wanted it. She insisted on speaking to the Manager. The Manager appeared and, forewarned by the desk clerk, announced: “This hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which are available for use.” “But I didn’t use them.” ”Well, they are here, and you could have.” He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which they were so famous.”We have the best entertainers from the world over performing here.” “But I didn’t go to any of those shows..” “Well, we have them, and you could have.” No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, “But I didn’t use it!” and the Manager countered with his standard response. After several minutes discussion, and with the Manager still unmoved, she decided to pay, wrote a check and gave it to him. The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check. “But Madam, this check is for only $50.00 “That’s correct I charged you $200.00 for sleeping with me.” “But I didn’t!” “Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have.”

Well…look at the photo. Has one of your moronic family members or co-workers or neighbors or old high school friends shared this utterly moronic story with you?

Of course they have — and you, being as stupid and gullible as they are, fell for it. You hit the “share” button. Perhaps you even added something like, “That old lady really showed them.”

You freaking idiots make me sick. IT NEVER HAPPENED! When are you morons going to learn?

Here’s the truth, and anyone who says, “Who cares that it didn’t really happen, it’s still funny,” will get a a one way ticket to Simpleton City from me. That’s where you belong!

“I was driving home from the craft shop where I buy yarn and other crafting supplies and I lowered my window to get a better view as I tried to make sure I didn’t nick a nearby car,” said Kathleen Stokes of Suffern, New York, USA.

“I was about to put the window back up when a young woman walked by and snapped my picture. Here we are, months later, and I am the talk of the internet it seems. I never slept in a hotel and wrote a check to any manager with such a lewd comment. Why are people saying this about me?  I don’t know what to believe.  They say it’s a hoax but maybe I am in a fog of some kind.  I don’t know what to think.  I don’t think I will drive my car ever again.  I suddenly feel like an old and feeble person.”

Mrs. Stokes is confused and was recently released from a local hospital after a nervous breakdown owing to the fact that she didn’t remember doing any of what is said in the fake Facebook story.   Her son Henry Stokes, a local attorney and former county prosecutor is steaming and he’s looking to throw the book at the people who created this story that he says is damaging and insulting and cruel.

“My mother’s image is being used to foster a lie,  and what some people think is a harmless joke has caused my mother great distress,” said Henry Stokes from his office in New York.

“My daughter saw this picture of her grandmother on Facebook and when she asked about it, my mother was greatly confused and upset.  My mother is an old school person.  She sees a photo of herself and a story and in her mind it must be true.  She thought she had done something wrong or had lost her mind.  She was very mentally nroken by this.  She didn’t recall any of what was said in the story because it never happened. She was so upset that she called a neighbor and asked to be taken to the hospital to be examined. She was so fearful that perhaps she had had a stroke or something of that nature. It caused my mother great anguish and 4 days in the hospital.”

Local investigators are looking into the matter of who took the photo and then spread the fake story about the woman refusing to pay her hotel bill and then telling the manager that he should have had sex with her since she was there at his hotel …etc.

“My best advice for people in social media is to think twice before you share some little story that you might think is quirky or funny,” said Henry Stokes. This kind of mindless passing of fake stories can be quite damaging – especially to an elderly person.

“We now know who took the photo and authorities will be making an arrest shortly. My mother is not a fragile person but she has had a few health scares in recent years. The pranksters may have thought this was all innocent fun, but my mother who seems so smiling and carefree in the photo might never really bounce back from this. How would you feel if this were your mom or grandmother?”

So again, TheDamienZone.com reminds the MORONS of Facebook to STOP SHARING FAKE STORIES. If you are too frigging stupid to see that something is obviously fake, you should stay the fuck off of social media. You’re a simplistic idiot. You think that “shares” can cure cancer and give sick babies heart transplants and that a “click like” will send a dollar to the Philippines. You are so freaking stupid.

2 comments - What do you think?
Posted by Damien - November 27, 2013 at 2:22 am

Categories: Across America, Damien Zone, Featured Across America, Featured World News, Health and Medical, Top Stories, World News   Tags:

Seth MacFarlane Kills Brian the Dog on Family Guy. Irish Asshole!

familyguy“The purpose of a comedy cartoon is not to make people cry by killing the dog. Only a fucking Irish asshole can be so stupid. It’s always the Irish who ruin everything. They claim to be Catholic but they’re the first ones to say that a priest molested them 50 years ago when they all soaked with booze. The Irish are the ruination of everything and they are notorious dog killers. They should stick to being cops and firemen. That’s where they belong.” [Pope Francis I, Vatican City, Italy]

Family Guy, the famous American cartoon show that has been on for a thousand years, has done the unthinkable. They killed off Brian the dog. They not only killed Brian, they made him get hit by a car and die in agony.

If you don’t know anything about Family Guy, the character of Brian the dog is important to the storyline. He’s the voice of reason in a household of strange people — or what series creator Seth MacFarlane thinks is weird.

There is an old saying in Hollywood screenwriting — “If you want your audience to know a character is a bad guy, have him kill somebody. If you want your audience to hate a character, have him kill the dog.”

This is essentially what Seth MacFarland has done — he has killed the dog and now people hate him. The Jews in Hollywood already hated MacFarlane before all of this because he has made some anti-Semitic jokes at awards dinners. Now he is not only an unfunny dog-killing-anti-Semite-joke-making-toupee-wearing-asshole. He is also an animal abuser — even though the dog is fake.

What’s even more annoying about killing off Brian the dog is that he has been replaced with some kind of Soprano-esque unfunny dog.

Okay — so it’s just a cartoon — what’s the big deal?

The big deal is that Seth MacFarlane is an asshole and he thinks that it’s cool to shock people. He’s one notch above losers like Johnny Knoxville and that bunch. The only thing that separates Seth MacFarlane from the outrageously very-not-funny Ricky Gervais, is that Seth has a less womanly face and figure. Not a whole lot less womanly, but a bit less than Gervais.

Here’s the thing. If you think your show might be getting a little stale, get better writers than Steve Callaghan. He seems to be the one who pushed this storyline and he  talks about it like a frigging juvenile.  “Yeah, we all threw around the idea and it got like wild and we were like, why not, so then we like the guy from the Sopranos so we figured he wouldn’t take Stewie’s shit….”  Shut up, you fucking imbecile.

“Why is it always some Irish asshole that ruins everything,” said a source close to Family Guy.

“The Irish fuck up everything. This is why the Jews make all the good stuff in Hollywood. Irish people are morons and they have no taste. They don’t even keep their houses clean, how would you expect them to keep a show tidy.

Only an Irish prick would kill off a dog character. That’s why the Irish were good at being cops when they came to the USA after they ran out of potatoes. They’re fucking morons. They like to make fun of the Polish and the Italians but statistically, Poles and Italians are way smarter than the Irish. The Irish are stupid and dirty and most of America’s white trash are Irish who are jealous of other ethnicities. So now they bring in a Guido kind of dog named Vinny and think they can make that funny. Once a Mick always a Mick — that’s what I say.”

According to every psychiatrist we spoke to here at TheDamienZone.com, The easiest thing to do to get a violent reaction from people is to kill the dog. MacFarlane could have killed off a million Ethiopian kids and it would have gotten a laugh — but you don’t kill the dog.

Brian was beloved by the fans, and if you want to get down to basic psychology, a cartoon dog is every bit as real to the viewers as a real dog. The personality is imparted by the writers, and if anything, the viewers have more empathy for the dog than for human characters.

Seth MacFarlane and your butt munch Irish jag off “writer” Steve Callaghan are both assholes of the highest order because you’re a coward. You know you can easily bring Brian back because he is just a drawing. But that’s not the point. It’s the way you did it. Even if you bring him back, the viewers will still think of him getting hit by the car and dying. Do you realize how fucking demented that it is? Do you see how manipulative and scummy you are? Maybe your new toupee is digging into your brain or something.  You are now less funny and more annoying than that other shanty Irish prick who thinks he’s a fireman — Dennis Leary.

3 comments - What do you think?
Posted by Damien - November 25, 2013 at 10:01 am

Categories: Across America, Damien Zone, Featured Across America, Featured Hollywood, Featured World News, Hollywood, Top Stories, World News   Tags:

« Previous PageNext Page »