ATTENTION READERS:  Here is one of the rare Facebook “shares” that is NOT FAKE!  This really happened to a kind and caring woman and the dog named Buddy she tried to save him from a lifetime of abuse.

I hope my readers take the time to read this so as to keep this from ever happening again and to shake up the cowards who don’t want to get involved.

The story comes directly from the pages of a prominent American — a person we all know, and a person who works tirelessly to protect the rights of animals.  She’s not asking for a handout  — although that helps a whole lot — but she is asking for a hand to help put an end to tragic stories like this.   PLEASE READ THIS and DO IT!  And thank the very brave television writer who exposed this horrible story and learn about him.


Friends: I have a story to tell, not a good one but a sad one… but I really need YOUR help to bring Justice to the abuser’s so please read and listen up, then help out! I know some of you have been following already so if you could SHARE this and follow the instructions at the end.

BUDDY as we have named the pup wasn’t but around 2-3 years old. A Facebook friend of mine has watched this dog suffer for to long. She has called police, animal control, SPCA and others trying to get this dog some help SEVERAL different times but nobody would!

This dog has been beaten by the family! Mostly by the 11 year old child that lives there. He was tied up outside ON A WIRE (no collar, or rope or leash, just a WIRE) 24/7 without food, water, shelter or shade in the rain, heat, snow, and sleet…

The other day my friend looks out her window to this dog having seizure’s caused by a heat stroke… It was 100 plus degrees and this family would go days without feeding the dog or giving it water… it just stayed outside, forgotten half the time and food thrown out to be rotted by the rain and elements (but never on a regular basis even). 

She went over to help the dog. Called police, animal control, SPCA all over again and still no help! So she ran the dog to her vet… her vet would not help since she ”stole” the dog and so she took it to another vet who sedated the dog and put in an IV and did what they could to monitor the dog. While this dog was fighting for his life, the police called the lady who rescued her saying she was going to be arrested once she got home for ‘stealing’ this dog!

Later the police said as long as she did not air this story on the news they would not arrest her… but after a long night of fighting the temperature would not go down and the dog kept having seizure’s and eventually he passed away. RIP BUDDY 06/29/2012. 

Now here is where we need YOUR HELP… the news reporters are backing away from the story so we need to blow up the pages to make it aware that this is NOT okay and to help make stricter rules everywhere! Help us bring justice for this poor innocent dog! The news stations are listed below.

Please, HIT THESE PAGES WITH HARD COMMENTS TO LET THEM KNOW WE ALL WANT JUSTICE FOR THIS PERSONS ACTIONS and it is NOT okay to treat animals this way!  Feel free to say thank you to this guy who often writes for The Damien Zone because his middle name is Damien ( well that doesn’t hurt) and he likes to save the lives of animals.


TMZ – the slime-of-the-world gossip column that usually gets it right — is reporting that Tom Cruise and his cold sore face wife Katie Holmes have finished their marriage.  Holmes filed for divorce from Cruise in New York yesterday and she wants SOLE CUSTODY of the kid — Suri.   Tom Cruise has not yet come out of the closet about this news story, but rumors are that he is “devestated.”

The fact that Mrs. Cruise (Katie Holmes) is seeking sole custody of the Martian baby is ample testament to the fact that this divorce is a bad one — somebody really hates somebody here, and all signs point to Tom as being the object of some kind of animosity.  Alien chips planted in Suri will reveal the child’s location even if Holmes makes off with the kid.

“Katie is afraid that Tom will raise the baby in the cult of Scientology and after what she’s been through with that bunch of loons, she’s finally broken free and she wants to keep her baby with her,” said Dr. Dean Traherne, a family physician and the director or KMD, Kids in the Middle of Divorce, a children’s advocacy group that sponsors legals representation for the children caught in the crosshairs of nasty divorce cases.

“Miss Holmes has probably endured hours and hours of brainwashing by the cult prior to her marriage to Cruise.  She vanished a week or two before the marriage and re-emerged covered with cold sores and fever blisters and looking like she’s been dragged by a bucking bronco. 

Tom Cruise might be insane but we’re not sure yet.  He is certainly dumb, that has been established beyond a shadow of a doubt, but we’re not yet sure he is insane.  Cruise has other kids besides Suri but those are brown-ish kids he adopted with his previous wife and who knows where they are anyway.” 

So that’s the end of that story — TheDamienZone wonders — “Who will Tom Cruise pick next for a new wife?  Some say it will be a young starlet or an up and coming girl singer, but we think it might even be BelAmi model Dana Sulick who has now turned to directing — we don’t know for sure.  Divorce is a hard thing for Tom Cruise to face, but maybe if he talks about it with his friend John Travolta after a nice steambath at an LA Turkish Bath, he might come to terms with it.

FOX NEWS and CNN Report on ObamaCare Ruling Incorrectly because FOX was HACKED!

Fox News and CNN have been hammered in the “press” over the past few days because both networks mistakenly reported that ObamaCare had been struck down by the US Supreme Court.

Of course guys like Jon Stewart –the Catskill comedian with the Ivy League comedy writers — and Rachel Maddow — the world’s most famous softball player, gym teacher and political pundit — love this kind of stuff because if they didn’t have FOX News to mock, they wouldn’t have careers.  But….kids and adults who never grew up like to watch these two jag offs because neither demographic is mentally prepared for real news.

CNN has been open an honest about this ObamaCare mistake, but FOX has not been very forthcoming — as a matter of fact FOX has been rather defiant and unapologetic — why?

The answer is easy.  FOX News suits are smarter than CNN news suits, and CNN suits have something to hide.

There were a hundred networks covering this event.  Why did FOX and CNN both make the wrong call while all the others did not?

Could it have been that their wire service was intentionally hacked into and fed bogus information so as to make both networks look stupid?  Could it be that CNN does not want anyone to know that their system for reporting news as it happens was compromised?  Could it be that FOX is keeping its big mouth shut because they are closing in on the hackers who did this?

Listen — a huge event — very huge for the Democrat — was happening.  If Fox News got the story wrong they would look like the screw ups of the century, right?  If CNN got it wrong, their brand would be tarnished, right?  So out of the hundreds of reporters camped out, why did only FOX and CNN both make the wrong call?  How could such a thing be possible?   Did you ever hear of a woman named Cora Witherspoon?  Here’s what she said.

“We believe that FOX News was the victim of high tech hackers and they are currently working with authorities to track down those responsible,” said Cora Witherspoon, the director of FWFCH – The Federal Wire Fraud and Computer Hacking  division of the World News Organization in Washington DC.

“We have credible evidence that Fox News was the victim of a vicious attack by hackers and while CNN has remained relatively mum about the whole incident, FOX has gone on an all out assault to find and prosecute those who are responsible.  We think an arrest will come in a few days and the results will be shocking.”

Miss Witherspoon speaketh the truth, and one of the reasons CNN has remained on the quiet side about this gaffe is that they don’t want anyone to find out that they peak in at FOX NEWS’ streaming news because their own direct reporting is not as good as the system FOX has developed.  In other words, they were kind of stealing FOX computer information and  this time they got caught with their hands in the cookie jar — but this time the cookie jar was full of rotten cookies.  Of course CNN is going to skulk away from this and hope it all goes away.  It won’t.

FOX is going to catch the hackers soon and when they do, CNN will have to explain how they got the information — they’re going to hate to admit it.

So to all the people out there who are loving this FOX NEWS screw up — what do you think now?  Do you think that MEDIA MATTERS was beind this hacking?   Uh…..yeah!

Ten years in jail is a lot of life to throw away just because you don’t like a news station, but that’s what at least 5 people are going to get — this is a huge crime that has not yet been exposed.  Fox knows who did it — and now YOU know the real story!

Free Your Mind and Think Facebook page is mentally sick – You brought Bibles but no food? HATRED!

There is yet another one of those hatefully captioned photos spreading around Facebook.  This time it’s being spread by the psychotic losers over at the Free Your Mind and Think page — they are truly sick people.

Of course it is spread by hateful people — mostly athiests if you want to know the truth — and it depicts an impoverished third world child and what appears to be a lighter-skinned, more Western-World looking woman.

It might be the most disgusting of all the stupid Facebook filth that gets passed around by a group of mentally sick people who call their Facebook page, “Free Your Mind and Think” — I have posted a photo that they are spreading like wildfire — spread by the sick minds of misfits who mostly know nothing about the spirit of giving and kindness. They only know how to spread lies and hatred because they live in their own sick world of godlessness and self-hatred.  It’s your duty to know and recognize these demented freaks and to eductate yourself enough so you don’t minbdlessly pass these kinds of things around with the assumption that they must be truths — they are not!

The photo dipicts a desitutute – or assumed destitue child — as asking, “So you mean to tell me you brought Bibles but you didn’t bring food?”

Let me express to you the pure hatred and stupidity that’s rooted in the twisted minds of the people behind this moronic internet meme.  Also, anyone who passes this sickening lie along as though it is some kind of truth, should be automatically dropped from your Facebook page and forever thought of as a mindless idiot — a person whose mind is in fact anything but free.  It’s a mind rooted in vile and angry hatefulness.

Since when does a missionary of any stripe not try to help the poor with food and gifts of farming equipment or well digging machines?   The only group that brings their brand of religion to the 3rd world with only a bible in hand are atheists.  Their religion is atheism and their bible is a book of hatred and propaganda and mayhem.  They swear on this bible because they are misbegotten and troubled — and they do not want to be helped.  They want to drag everyone down with them.  Because of people like this, donations to poverty stricken countries have declined because they have thrust mistrust into the minds of the charitable.  In other words, they hate the idea of god so much that they would rather see children starve in Cameroon than to have someone believe in a diety.  Yes — say what you will — they would rather see a child starve or die from AIDS than to allow peacful missionaries to do their work.  These are truly mentally sick people — very very sick indeed.

“Inner anthiesm, or a kind of indifference towards religion is a personal choice that in the healthy individual is neither apprent nor of any consequence in their day to day living,” said Frangia Skell MD – a missionary physician who has spent the vast majority of her medical career as an internist and a psychiatrist working throughout various third world countries.  Today at age 85, she still works 12 hour shifts at a clinic in Cameroon where she councils and monitors the many HIV/AIDS patients who attend the clincic where she has decided to spend the rest of her days – far from her beautiful home in New York.  She never promotes religion or Jesus — she only shares her love and her devout devotion to her ability as a physician to ease or eliminate suffering.

“I can say without hesitation, however,  that in all my years of working in the 3rd world and in free clinics throughout the USA, the only ‘religious’ group who has caused and created  mayhem within the sphere of my work and the good work of others,  have been peple who use their hateful atheism as a substitue for religion.  They come like demons who steal souls and as soon as they see a cross or any other religious symobolism, they do nothing but create and foster ill-will.  

“I saw this silly photograph and all I can say is that about 1% of donations to our causes come from people who designate themselves as atheists.  Many people don’t believe in God, but still they help and they give, but people who create and distribute hateful captions…people who photograph the unfortunate simply to add a caption that is filled with lies and hate, only do so to foster hatred and ignorance.  I truly believe, both as a physican and a charitable person, that these people are suffering from some kind of illness — be it psychological or physiological. From a purley medical and scientific perspective, I see these people as unwell in mind, body and spirit.”  [Frangia Skell MD] agrees with Dr. Skell and we would like caring Facebookers to be wary of these misfits who cling to a sick-minded web page simply because they have nothing left on which to cling.  “Free Your Mind and Think” is the opposite of what its name implies.  If you belong to this Facebook page, and you can’t see these crazy people for what they are, then perhaps that page is where you belong.

Keep in mind, however, that to be indoctrinated into believing that people who bring Bibles don’t also bring food is not only untrue, it’s mentally sick and you have a doctor with 44 years devotion to the Third World sick and poor to prove it.

The next time you need a well drilled or a field cleared for planting or a school built, call an athiest activist — see how far you get.

“Free your mind and think” should be thrown off of Facebook.  Better yet, I say you should join the group and spread the truth.  Confront these sick people with the truth and maybe they will learn to stop hating people — including themselves.

This is truly sick.

Why don’t today’s kids know anything about history? Twittering teens are morons.

On Sunday, a few hours after he was found dead in his California swimming pool at age 47, Rodney King—a central figure in the 1992 Los Angeles riots—began trending on Twitter.

News of King’s death was quickly followed by a related, if disturbing, Twitter trend: “Who is Rodney King?

“Who is Rodney King?” Briauna Mariee, identified on Twitter as “First Queen Standing,” tweeted upon seeing King’s name trending.

“Is it bad that idk who Rodney King is,” Twitter user Jiggy wrote, “cause I don’t.”

“Who is Rodney king again? I forgot,” Bougie Bre asked, adding: “#serioustweet.”

“Same thing I wanna know,” user Carolina Girl tweeted.

“[I don’t know] who Rodney King is/was,” @IAinTheDadMaury admitted. “Don’t feel bad cause idk who he be either,” @DatNikkaCuatro responded assuringly.

“I’m not gone lie y’all,” @isingiprayilove wrote. “I don’t who […] Rodney King is.”

“Wikipedia it,” Bennie Cooper suggested in response.

“Don’t know who Rodney King is but we share the same last name,” Raymond King, a self-described “semipro gamer,” wrote on Twitter. “R.I.P.”

King’s death was certainly not the first to baffle Twitter users. Television icon Dick Clark, author Ray Bradbury, Bee Gees singer Robin Gibb, disco queen Donna Summer, CBS News interviewer Mike Wallace, “Where The Wild Things Are” author Maurice Sendak, singer Levon Helm, Beastie Boy rapper Adam Yauch and hairdresser Vidal Sassoon—all of whom died this year—ended up cycling through the microblogging service in a similar manner:

1. Death is reported 2. News of death spreads 3. Name begins trending on Twitter 4. Name preceded by “Who is” begins trending on Twitter 5. Backlash against ignorant users responsible for “Who is” trend ensues

“I get the feeling I’m going to be slaughtered for saying this,” Rhys Kelly tweeted after Gibb’s death. “But who is/was Robin Gibb?”

“Who/what on earth is the Bee Gees?” admitted cocoon-dweller Peter Botha asked his followers.

“Who’s Robin Gibb and why is she trending?” Ant Wright wrote.

“We all have a tendency to see culture as a monolith,” Scott Lamb, managing editor of Buzzfeed—a site that’s become a virtual clearinghouse for Twitter naivety—told Yahoo News recently. “And one thing Twitter does is expose how untrue that notion is.”

On April 18, Buzzfeed noted:

Shockingly enough, there is an absolutely gigantic amount of people on Twitter who don’t know who someone or something is. Today it’s Dick Clark.

“Yes, there are those who don’t know about Clark,” Jen Chung wrote on “But to be fair, some aren’t American and Clark was an American pop culture figure. And the young aren’t as familiar with him, because he’s only really been on TV lately as the New Year’s Rockin’ Eve host—and in limited segments.”

Of course, it’s not just death that exposes Twitter’s generational divide—anniversaries of historical news events show it as well.

In April, on the 100th anniversary of the Titanic disaster, the social news-sharing site Reddit pointed to a series of tweets from people who did not know that the sinking of the Titanic was real—and not just a 1997 Hollywood blockbuster starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet.

“Wait!” user Sue D. wrote. “Titanic really happened? I thought it was just a movie.”

“Guys, the Titanic was real!” @BabyDoe22 wrote. “#mindblown.”

“I think the reason why bigger events exposes the divide is because people just want to participate in the conversation,” Chung told Yahoo News. “They want to have a say, even though they might not have anything to say.”

“People not knowing about the Titanic probably says more about gaps in the education system than gaps between generations,” Lamb said. “But Dick Clark’s death does expose that the cultural touch-points we take for granted aren’t familiar everywhere.”

[Also read: Twitter Backlash for People Who Did Not Know ‘Titanic’ Was Real]

But you don’t always have to die or sink a ship to blow young Twitter users minds: Sometimes, you just have to be a former Beatle who shows up at the Grammys.

“Who the f— is Paul McCartney and why is he on this?” Kristen Dewe wrote on Feb. 13 during the Grammys broadcast.

Sadly, she was not alone.

McCartney, who turned 70 on Monday, is among a set of celebrities who have been a constant presence for men and women of a certain age–just imagine what’s going to happen on Twitter when Macca dies.

“People just coming of age now have a different group to work with,” Lamb said. “There’s something unsettling about realizing that your references are dated.”

Whatever Happened to Willie Aames from EIGHT IS ENOUGH?

Former child sitcom star Willie Aames recently joined the crew of an Oceania cruise ship as an assistant cruise director, according to several news sources.  While 8 (inches) might be enough for most people, Willie is rumoured to have 10 and a half (inches) — and that ain’t no fish story.  It’s part of the reason why pencil-dicked Scott Baio hated him so much and why he had a hard time taping down that ding dong when he wore the skin tight Bible Man outfit.

You may recall Mr. Aames as Tommy Bradford in the sitcom Eight is Enough.  He starred in a few movies and some other T.V. shows.  At one point, he was reportedly making a million dollars a year, but a huge penis and a cute smile didn’t do the trick.

“He could have done porn with that giant thing,” said a source who used to pal around with Willie.  “It was gigantic but he was just a nice guy who went mental when his career went nowhere.  He totally could have turned to porn but instead he turned to God and what good did that do him?  His thing looked even more gigantic than it already was because he’s kind of short so it looked hugeron him even though it’s already gigantic.  Willie Aames has a really big dick, but it’s never done him any good.”

But the make-believe life of young Tommy Bradford was in stark contrast to Willie Aamesthe real life woes of the well hung Willie Aames.  He fell into some serious hard times, due to alcohol and drugs.  The bank foreclosed on his house, his wife left him for a guy who had to have a smaller ding-a-ling, and he became homeless.  In 2008, he attempted suicide by cutting his throat after drinking a cocktail of Jack Daniels and pills while alone in a hotel room but the doctors said that so much reserve blood was filled within Willie Aames hue penis that it saved his life.

“His penis  was like a reservoir for blood,” said Dr. Judith Traherne MD, a doctor who specializes in neck wounds.  “His penis held about 2 pints even when soft and that saved him from dying.  One male nurse held the penis up and that made the blood go to his brain.  The male nurse was not asked to hold onto Willie Aames’ penis, but he said he couldn’t resist — and that’s what saved him.”

He is now clean and living a sober life. Good for him.  But I am having a Willie Aames - Cruise Entertainer hard time imagining what the cruise line’s human resources department was thinking when they read his resume:  Child star, drug addict, born again Christian, ordained minister, furniture builder, suicide survivor, financial advisor, and bankruptcy petitioner and huge penis under-achiever.

“Usually guys like Willie Aames – goodlooking guys with gigantic penises, are self-confident and cocky,” said Dr. Traherne.  “For some reason, Willie Aames and his large penis were both under-achievers.  You don’t see that too often in medicine.”

Working on a cruise ship is a stressful job.  Let’s keep our fingers crossed and pray that Mr. Aames finds redemption on the high seas.  He really should have gone to the Gay Atlantis Cruise Lines and just walked around in a speedo.  He’d be making a lot more money.  That thing was supposed to be GIANT!  It was so big that on the set of Eight is Enough, Dick Van Patten, the guy who played the dad, insisted that nobody call him “Dick” on the set.  He insisted that everyone call him Richard because he believed that the only true Dick on the show was Willie Aames.





Internet Explorer browser sucks ass!  It’s slow and as soon as you download another browser like Google Chrome or Mozilla, they slow down their service even more.  I have a business where I am forced to use Internet Explorer for certain things and every giddam minute they put up a little banner at the bottom that says “ADD ONS ON SLOWING DOWN YOUR INTERNET EXPLORER.”

So what are add-ons?  Well, when you click on that annoying banner that makes your brand new 2012 laptop behave like a 1995 dial-up desktop, you find that Internet Explorer is trying to get you to delete any other browser you have.

Gee — wait a second — why isn’t my Internet Explorer slowing down Google Chrome?   Why is my Google Chrome browser 100% reliable and lightening fast?  Why doesn’t Google Chrome tell me that Internet Explorer is slowing me down?  Why doesn’t Google Chrome force me onto Yahoo where every fucking news article requires that you watch a 30 second commercial?  Why doesn’t Google Chrome put stupid shit stories on Facebook and force you to watch commercials?  Why is Google Chrome a browser that doesn’t force you to read Huffington crap when you try to access your petrified AOL email address that you are so afraid to get rid of?  WHY?  The answer is simple — GOOGLE CHROME is the greatest and fastest and most user-friendly browser there is.  Internet Explorer is sickening and sneaky.  When is somebody going to shut down that fucking company?  They are soooooo 1999.

Microsoft is shameless and disgusting and they have the average person suckered into thinking that THEY are “THE” browser when in fact they are the worst.  They sucker you into Yahoo toolbars and all kinds of stupid shit and they are so prone to hacking that they anybody who uses INternet Explorer has to be an idiot.


Recent sightings of what many folks call “The Jersey Devil” have scared the pants off of a few New Jersey fishermen and hikers in and around the area of Round Valley Reservoir in Central New Jersey — about 40 miles from New York City.

Experts claim that a recent cell phone photo (not released) shows what they believe is a mature brown bear with third-degree burn scars on one side of his body and when seen from only the damaged right side where the skin is hairless with mottled pink scar tissue, it would be very difficult for someone to recognize this as a bear — others disagree with that story.

“We all know the old bear who is all scarred up,” said John Anderson, a naturalist and fresh water snorkeler from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

“I have been seeing the bear with the pink and red scars for years and he’s pretty ugly looking and we call him Burny, but the thing some people have been reporting lately is not Burny.  No way.

“Last week (June 5, 2012) an elderly man run up to me at the water’s edge at southwestern end of the reservoir and his face was white as a sheet.  He told me that a monster followed him as he went to a fishing spot, and the first thing he said was ‘It’s not that burned up old Burny’ so right there I knew he was a local person or somebody who was familar with the area.

“He wanted me to know straight up that he hadn’t seen old Burny.  That old bear looks like a monster when you see his bad side but he gets on alright.  He’s strong as an ox and he looks really good on one side until you see the other side of him.  Somebody either did this to him with gasoline or he got burned up in some kind of forest fire.

“He’s not very afraid of people so I would guess it was a brush fire or something.  It’s amazing that he survived and healed up because it’s pretty much that one half of his body was burned.  I’d say that I have been seeing him for three years and he was burned up then so he’s been around.”

Anderson went on to describe how he helped the frightened man calm down and gave him a bottle of spring water and some Skittles, “to get his blood sugar back up.”

“This old guy was really shaking and he was no amateur outdoors man.  He had some pretty sophisticated fishing gear and he knew what he was talking about.   As soon as he mention that he saw something that looked like a tall skinny man with dark grey skin like a lizard with serpent wings I knew he had seen the Jersey Devil.  This is the third time this has happened this year but I have not seen it.”

The Jersey Devil is a of legend in New Jersey and for over a century the creature has rarely been spotted or described outside of the New Jersey Pine Barrens in the southeastern part of the state.  It has been described as the Bigfoot of the east, but sketches that have been made show the Jersey Devil to be more of a serpent like creature, or something half man and half serpent.  This differs greatly from the ages old image of the Yeti or Bigfoot which is more of an apelike creature.

“It’s very possible that a reptilian or raptor-like creature could live in a place as small as New Jersey and never be seen,” said Bigfoot expert and filmmaker Mildred Sclafani.

“The New Jersey Pine Barrens hold the largest supply of fresh water on the entire east coast of the USA until you get to the Everglades, and if you want to get technical about it, the everglades are brackish water so in my book the Pine Barrens are even more fresh water-abundant than any place until you get to the Amazon rain forest.  Sounds crazy but it’s true.

“Where there is that much ground water, there are bound to be hundreds of miles of underground caverns.  It could be a whole other world down there and nobody will ever know unless they look but nobody cares to look.  Geologists have told me that ground resonant imaging suggests that much of the area around southeastern New Jersey and as far west as the northern tip of Delaware might be hollow but you would have to go down about 3 miles or more to get to the hollowed out part.

“I imagine that it would be like a giant theater.  A theater that’s about 40 miles wide and 80 miles long.  The ceiling might vary but it is safe to assume that it would be about 500 to 1,000 feet high.  It’s actually an entire other world down there and it probably has it’s own ecosystem.  There’s no light but it would be a perfect steamy environment for reptilian creatures who had access to cooling waters and to the surface.

“I believe the Jersey Devil is a raptor like creature and over the years it has expanded it’s underground range to reach places as far north as Round Valley.  Keep in mind that Round Valley is a very unusual place.  It’s a very deep lake and that’s very unusual for New Jersey.  Lakes in New Jersey are nothing more than over-glorified ponds, but Round Valley is a giant sinkhole — where does it go?  The routing of the water into and out of Round valley has never been properly determined but it was theorized at one point back in 1919 that it fed an underground river that flowed under the mid-line of the state and emptied into the Delaware Bay. Other theories say that it’s the other way around.  No matter how you look at it, this is the year 2012 and still to this day, with all the technology we have at our disposal, nobody really understands how the Round Valley System works.

“If New Jersey has its Devil, the Round Valley system would be where it would go.  I think there’s been three or four sightings this year from credible witnesses.  It’s kind of weird.  But I I have hear several other cryptozoologists say that if the Jersey Devil was going to make a move, it would be towards the Round Valley.  Maybe they’re increasing in numbers.”

Sclafani has been busy in Northern New Jersey and southern New York because of the recent rash of Bigfoot sightings.  According to Sclafani, 2011 was a banner year for Bigfoot sightings in and around the Catskill Mountains of New York and the Ramapo Mountains of New Jersey but so far this year there have been no sightings.

“New Jersey had a big year with plain old Bigfoot last year but so far this year things have been quiet.  It was a very mild winter and that kind of alters Bigfoot sightings as far as geographical locations go,” Sclafani said.

So?  What are they seeing up at Round Valley Reservoir?  Experts say they’re seeing a badly scarred old bear, but locals who know the place — folks like John Anderson —  say that’s all wrong and the Park Rangers know it’s a crock of BS.  We have rangers here now who don’t even get out of their cars when they drive through here.  It’s actually kind of funny to think they could be scared of the thing whatever it is because after about two hundred years or more nobody has ever been killed by one, or at least nobody has proven anything like that.”

“I know that three reports were filed with police this month alone,” Anderson said. “I know that old guy I helped was scared out of his mind and it takes a lot to scare these old fishermen.  He saw something but I helped him back to his truck and he seemed okay and he went home.  I didn’t even get his name.  I hope he’s alright.  He said he was going to see the State Police so he must have filed a report.”

So is it possible that New Jersey has a creepier, scarier inhabitant than any of the Jersey Shore kids combined?

The Jersey Devil is “the oldest living monster in America,” according to Kathy Kelly of Paranormal Books & Curiosities in Asbury Park, New Jersey, which is currently running a historical exhibit on the freaky cryptid called The Jersey Devil Expedition of 1819.

The beast is said to be the unwanted child of a former Jersey resident who made a pact with Satan to give him her baby in exchange for regaining her youth.

Her newborn was then turned into a winged, horned demon that has supposedly terrorized the area for hundreds of years.

Many New Jersey residents claim they’ve actually seen the Jersey Devil, while others believe the monster is just a myth.

Whatever the case, Kelly is glad to spotlight interesting local history again after the damage that the Jersey Shore series has caused to the state’s image.

Joey Lawrence Hair Tragedy. Now He is a Chippendale Dancer?

TheDamienZone tried so hard to help Joey Lawrence when we good-naturedly joked about his spray-on hair and ten million hair transplants, but he didn’t listen.  Why didn’t he just get a really good hairpiece?  Why?  Did we have to draw a map for you, Joey?

Here is an example of a young actor who, unlike Joey Lawrence was not afraid to wear a wig in order to get a starring role in a hit web series Di Giacomo.

Here’s the the thing, folks.  Actors who have great hair stay on top.  Actors who go bald drift away.  It’s not like the old days when nobody knew who was bald and who wasn’t.  The great French actor Charles Boyer wore a hairpiece in all of his films but he would yank it off as soon as the cameras stopped rolling.  He didn’t care because in his day there were no Perez Hilton’s or TMZ to spread around that gossip — today he wouldn’t have a shot — but that’s not totally true.

Do you honestly think that all these actors who were teen idols in the 80s and 90s stiill have alll their hair?  Think about it.  They all do something to keep their hair looking at age 50 the way it looked when they were 20.  They know where to go and they know who to see.   Nobody makes fun of good fake hair because nobody knows it’s fake.  Why didn’t Joey go this route and get good fake hair instead of butchering his head with a zillion transplant plugs and then dye his scalp brown to go for the “shaved” look while he waited to see if those hair plugs would grow in?  It looks terrible.  He looked like Grandpa Munster for cryin’ out loud!

So now, because he looked like such a freak for the past three years, he is letting the plugs grown in and his head looks like a crop circle in the UFO infested wheat fields of England.  What did that get him?  A big TV deal?  A big movie deal?  NO!  It got him a cheap job as a male stripper at Chippendale’s in Las Vegas.  Can you imagine that?  Yeah, he’s all pumped up and waxed and manscaped but his hair looks like shit — and what happened to his career?

Truth be told, Joey Lawrence was never much of a star really.  At best he was a cute kid who could do the sitcom bad-acting that passes as funny/good acting in Hollywood – but then he got the wild idea that he was a singer and songwriter.  Quick name a famous Joey Lawrence song!  BONG!  Times up!  There aren’t any — he is not a good singer or musician and now he’s a bald stripper?  How did that happen?  He went bald and didn’t do the right thing.  Why didn’t he get a good hairpiece — why?   The old stigma of the proverbial “rug” is over as long as you know where to go.  Hair pieces today are undetectable — if you are willing to get the right ones.   Why didn’t you listen to TheDamienZone, Joey?   Now you’re a stripper —  what a tragedy — a tragedy.

How To Behave on Facebook When You’re Over Forty.


Facebook is here to stay and while I think it’s a diabolical time stealer, it has a purpose.    It’s nice to meet up again with old friends and family and it’s fun to catch up on old times, but there are pitfalls that can beleaguer many Facebookers who sign on after the age of 40.


You can make a lot of painful mistakes.  You can hurt your own –or  someone else’s  – self-esteem and you can just plain old screw up and create social awkwardness.

I have put together a few thoughts here to help the over-40 crowd of Facebookers.  These are not only points to ponder, but I consider them to be steadfast rules to which you should always adhere when you’re Facebooking over 40.

1) TIME HAS NOT STOOD STILL:  The cute guy/gal you knew 25 or 35 years ago is now 25 or 35 years older.  In most cases you do not know what has happened to them in their lives or where they are socially, politically or intellectually.  Thirty years have passed so you must treat this person initially as a an old friend who, in reality, is actually a new acquaintance.

Don’t assume that Johnny Clark and Tiffany Brown are still the high-school hotties you knew.    There is a 60% chance that Johnny is  bald and chubby and hates his life, and Tiffany might look like a hag who has been through three divorces and serious mental/physical illness.  Don’t be shocked if you chance upon something unfortunate, and don’t automatically think,  “Thank god that didn’t happen to me.”  You don’t know what you look like — nobody does.

Never say something like, “Remember back in high school when we were so thin and perky?”   Maybe you are the fat pig and the other fat pig you are addressing doesn’t consider herself/himself to be a fat pig.    Remember, the only person who looks old or fat or bald or messed up or whatever is YOU until proven otherwise. Have some manners and turn your social filter up to maximum!

Odds are that you are in for a rude awakening when you see people from your 1980s era high school graduating class.  If you want to feel old, look at your old friends and know that time has NOT stood still for you either.  Johnny Clark might not be the man of your dreams any longer, but he also might still be the arrogant  creep  who insulted you at the prom and made you cry.  Conversely, he might have been a real a-hole jock back then but now he’s changed into a great guy — but don’t count on it.   The same applies to Tiffany Brown.  Maybe she got fat and matronly.  Sure —  now she tells you that she thought you were cute in school.  Back when she was hot and sexy she didn’t give a second glance except to call you four-eyes or pizza face or metal-mouth.   Remember — they are NOT the same people.  There is a chance that perhaps they are somewhat the same, but bet against it.  This writer believes in redemption, but only to a point.

2) WHAT NOT TO SAY TO YOUR NEW BUT “OLD” ACQUAINTANCE ON THEIR FACEBOOK PAGE OR IN PRIVATE MESSAGES:  Remember, time has passed and when you speak on someone else’s page, you are essentially walking into their house, full of their friends and their family.

DO NOT  reference years or ages!  Some, or most  people, don’t want their age bandied about – because as they approach 45 or 50,  men get really sensitive and women are already crippled by the thought that they are past their prime.   Just because you’re a loudmouth with confidence about how great your golf game still is at age 49, doesn’t mean the rest of your graduating class from Saint Lucy Queen of Death elementary school, or your friends from Algonquin Crystal Lake Sleep-Away Camp Summer of 1981, are as confident about their age as you are — and who cares about your golf game?   Don’t be one of those “almost 50 and loving it”  bores!

There is no need to post on a new add’s  Facebook wall — “Wow, can’t believe it’s been 34 years since we hung out at Grillo’s Pizza Parlor. ”  That might get you dropped by a Facebooker faster than Kim Karsdashian dropped what’s his name.   The rule is to never mention years or age or anything like that.  A simple, “haven’t seen you in a long time –you look great,” or “Hey, you have great looking family,” will suffice — EVEN IF YOU DO NOT MEAN IT!!!!!

Do not put your graduating class years down on your education profile.  Not only are you leaving youself wide open for identity theft, you are exposing the ages of all your school friends.  Some of the men don’t like that and you’ll certainly piss off all of the women.  I have have my own old saying: “Age is just a number…that you keep to yourself.”

People have a thing called a “frame of reference” — look that up and learn it about it!

3) DON’T BE A STALKER or a STALKER ENABLER:  When a person you hardly knew from school or elsewhere sends you a Facebook friend request, it means that they actively searched for you.  If you have no mutual friends with that person, don’t believe their story about how they accidentally found you while looking for someone else.  They’re lying.  The truth is that they once had a “thing” for you and they’re now suffering from unfulfilled fantasies or perhaps they have a benign form of arrested development.  I am not a psychiatrist, but take my word for it and consider that person to be a potential stalker — but not in the dangerous way– not yet anyway.

Sometimes you have to trust a little and perhaps you simply don’t remember a really good childhood friend.  If that is indeed the case, you might lean awa from labeling the person as a stalker, but ask others you know and maybe the person really was your friend at camp or in school.  You are getting on in years you know, and you just might have forgotten them.

Sadly, however, you should treat all fringe people from long ago as lonely stalkers.  They might be insane killers but the odds are that they are just lonely or curious about you — mostly it’s a compliment that comes 30 years too late.  It doesn’t hurt to add them as long as you know who they are – despite the fact that they are on the very last and un-autographed page of your yearbook.

3A) You’re getting too old to be cliquish.  Maybe pimply Joey Dobski from high school is now a very rich guy who looks great.  There’s a gray area with stalkers and you need to have them as a Facebook friend for at least six months before you do any reciprocating.

If the stalker (he or she) looks really hot, don’t worry about moving in on them beacause your friends with more nerve will do it for you.  If you are curious, perhaps a group get-together in a public place is safe, but do not do anything CURIOUS if you are married.  You will screw up your life — trust me on that one!

4) A STALKER IS NOT THE SAME AS A PROWLER:  You must learn to recognize“The Prowler” and avoid their games at all costs.

A small time prowler is the person who sends you messages but doesn’t add you as a friend.  the small time prowler is waiting for you to add THEM.  Why are they messaging you but not “adding” you?  Think about that.

A true prowler — the hardcore version —  is somebody you really know very well from your past who gradually befriends many of your Facebook friends but somehow manages to skirt around you.  You know they see you and they know that you know.   I consider these people to be the biggest jerks on Facebook.   Why didn’t they add you before they added Johnny Brown — a guy they barely knew?  Because they are jerks — and they always were jerks.

True prowlers circle around your internet space of social networking,  but they will never send you an invite.  The hallmark of the true prowler is how they will add three or four of your friends but they won’t add you despite the fact that they can see you.  They want you to see them, but they don’t want to make the first move.  If you knew this person to be shy around you, perhaps you’re being the jerk and it wouldn’t hurt to say hi to them first, but anybody who is still  that shy and awkard 30 years on, is not worth the time and effort.

This happens a lot with former boyfriends and girlfriends — but more often — and scream away if you want — women are the bigger prowlers by far.

This prowler thing applies very often to insecure women who prowl around a guy’s Facebook but don’t want to be “the one” to ask or say hello.  Guys are dumb and they don’t usually prowl.  If they want to add you, they add you.  There’s a weird difference between the male ego and the female ego.

Getting back to the small town prowlers — the ones who say hello in a private message but still do not send a friend request.  They want YOU to do it and they are content to add all of your friends without adding you.  I say IGNORE THEM.    Don’t think that maybe you should add them — NO!  They gradually infiltrated your cyber family and intentionally ignored you because they wanted YOU to ask THEM.   That’s something a person with “problems” will do, and if you think back you will probably remember that this person was like that when you knew them way back when.

5)  BEWARE OF THE WORDS  “IT’S COMPLICATED” BECAUSE IT REALLY IS:  When you are interested in an old flame or they are interested in you, beware always of the marital status listed as  “IT’S COMPLICATED” because nothing smells worse than that.

In my world, those words mean the following things.  a) I cheat on my wife but I have justified it in my own head.  b) I cheat on my husband but I have justified it in my own head.  c) I am so screwed up in a relationship that you should stay away from me at all costs.  d) I am involved or like to be involved in strange relationships.  e)  Run for your life.  f) I’m broke and I’m a loser.  g) I have a family but they don’t want anything to do with me.  h) I am in jail or have been in jail for bad stuff.  i) I will pretend to like you because I want money — AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST — I CHEAT ON MY SPOUSE — oh, wait, I said that already.

Perhaps the “It’s Complicated” crowd will get angry about these generalizations, but I am sure that if they look deep within themselves they will see that I am right.  They might even try to justify their behavior and scream, “But it is complicated, Damien!”  Sorry to hear it, pal.  Just keep all that complication on your side of the fence .  Anyone who dives in despite the “it’s complicated” disclaimer, deserves what they get.

6) RESPECT THE FACEBOOKER WHO HAS A PROFILE PIC OF THEMSELVES AND THEIR SPOUSE TOGETHER:  If you see an old friend and their profile pic is a family pic or a pic of them with their spouse, you should respect that and always address any correspondence to both husband and wife.  If you can’t do that, you can always add on like this….  “It was so nice to hear from you, Eileen, and the pictures were great.  I hope Joe ( the husband) wasn’t bored by our school days reminiscing.” Catch on?  INCLUDE THE SPOUSE!  That’s why he or she is in the picture — in more ways than one.

7) DO NOT FRIEND YOUR FRIEND’S CHILDREN — IT’S CREEPY:   There is no reason why you have to add the children of a friend.   You’re getting to  the age where some of your childhood friends have kids who are 17 or 18 or older and there is no reason for you to be on their page whatsoever.  You will look like a creepy, old weirdo.   The kid might be too polite to not accept your invite, and even if they invite you, it’s always best to say thanks but no thanks.  You can say, “You guys are so young and cool.  Why would you want an old crone like me on your page.  You’re a great kid — have fun!”   <—see how easy that is?

Okay, so I had a lot of help from my older experts when I wrote this.   If you would like to add another Facebook factoid, please do so and I will add it on the comment page.  I want to know what I missed. 

Next week I will tackle the younger Facebookers — the one’s with whom I have the most experience.  That’s gonna suck!