Creepy Aryan Toaster Strudel Kid — kicks down door like Gestapo child.

toasterToaster Strudel is a very popular quick breakfast treat, and it’s a great idea in a pinch when guests stay over and you need to put out something that goes great with coffee. It’s very….Continental and it goes with eggs and bacon and toast and Aryan Supremacy.


Did I just say, Aryan Supremacy?

Unfortunately, I did. I said it because anyone who has seen the latest Toaster Strudel commercial might have noticed that the product now has it’s own marketing mascot…a little German kid named Hans Strudel — who unlike Rodney Allen Rippy — looks like he was plucked from the best regiment at a Hitler Youth camp.

Before you get all up in arms, watch the commercial and tell me that the perky little Hans Strudel — lederhosen and all — doesn’t totally creep you out.

Little rascal that he is, Hans Strudel, kicks in the door like a Gestapo agent on a mission — all very Aryan and Children of the Corn-like — and surprises a hapless family who has one kid siiting at a table and another kid who seems to fly like a fairy or something.  I don’t know what the hell’s going on, but it gets worse.

The little Hans creature yells out in a sinister German doll-child voice, “Toaster Strudel, yah?” I think the couple he barges in on lets their kids in on the fun of the Toaster Strudel but they hide the twins in the attic with their niece Anne.

“This commercial looks like it was crafted from beyond the grave by Leni Riefenstahl,” said a a TV comedy writer and producer who prefers to remain anonymous.

“The actor who plays Hans Strudel is just an innocent bystander in a total train-wreck of a commercial. It’s so bad that it’s good — but it’s really messed up so it actually comes off as the kind of commercials we would be seeing in the USA if the Nazis had won the war.  Even Stanley Kubrick couldn’t have gotten this chilling concept so right.  The kid is a monster.” 

This is the website of the anonymous writer/producer  Why the hell should he be annonymous anyway? —–>

So, if you have a hankering for the Fatherland, you might want to pop a copy of “Triumph of the Will” in the DVD player and sit back with a cup of coffee and a nice Toaster Strudel — but don’t tell Hans how the microwave oven works.


27 thoughts on “Creepy Aryan Toaster Strudel Kid — kicks down door like Gestapo child.

  1. You know what’s NOT a really hard stretch? The fact that you’re a fucking stick in the mud and you have ZERO imagination.

  2. I cracked up when I read this! I think the commerical is very creepy. I really hope they stop making these. Even the kid is creepy looking in the costume and accent. I get the idea of what pilsbury was trying for but yeah…no..they need to stop and come up with something less well 1980s horror meets 2013 cgi with a poor accent. Its beyond creepy…I have no other word for it.

  3. Thank you, Lana.

    The creepiness is beyond human comprehension but you seemed to have summarized it all really well. But please don’t hope they stop making them. They’re only going to get worse — the hilarity will live on.

    Damien LeGallienne

  4. Wow you guys thought that was creepy, what about the old Burger King commercials with the king popping up in people’s windows with a sandwich.
    How would you feel waking up with the king in your bed with a sandwich…at least everyone is up and dressed and in the kitchen in these commercials lol Just saying

  5. Gah! Relieved I’m not the only one who finds that commercial creepy.

    I know companies want their products to be memorable, but weirding people out is an odd way to go about it. haha.

  6. These commercials with a German boy is freakin’ awesome!! I am of German descent and I find these commercials refreshing. I like to see more German or Oktoberfest themed stuff it’s cool. Hans Strudel makes me laugh and that’s a good thing.

  7. This stupid kid drives me batshit crazy. He’s the perfect nazi poster child. A blonde haired blue eyed boy. What’s up with the stupid ass look on his face when he pops up at the table? He has an ” I just farted, and hope it doesn’t smell” look on his face. If I were the boy that just woke up with the shitty attitude bitching about how crappy the morning was, I would knock the creepy little bastard out with the toaster. Also for Christ’s sake it’s pronounced gooey not go-ey. This kid is as annoying as the two dipshit morons in the sonic commercials. I can’t believe that corporate america uses total fucking ignorance to try to sell food and other products.

  8. I really don’t like this commercial….it is to the point that I won’t even eat Toaster Strudel anymore…too creepy,,very bad idea from the company.

  9. I thought he was saying Doughy…I am still crying from reading your article, it is so funny!

  10. Thank you, Diana. I have to thank the Hollywood writer whose link I put on there for adding his comments. I think that pushed it into the realm of hysteria.

    Damien LeGallienne

  11. The negative comment people get over your self just throw your smart being off the german cliff it just a commercial not a propaganda for the Aryan race

  12. Coyote — it’s worse than you think — better to be angry at people who think this is Aryan than to be like you — stupid and totally not getting the frigging joke.

  13. I think the commercial is totally creepy but I love it in a sick way.
    I love the poor little kid ( who is completely perfect btw) is great!! Get over it all u lame people
    Out there, it’s only a commercial . Lol

  14. I do not see anything intimidating about the cute Hans Struedel character. Sure he may resemble the Aryan German but there is no need to demonise him as a creepy Hitler Nazi character. This is simply a cute commercial. I am not sure why some people would inject past religions or politics into an innocent commercial like there is some grand secret conspiracy. I am Jewish and I love Toaster Strudels Yah.

  15. Germans!!! Yah !!! ! Yah!!!
    All hail the Comintern!!! Workers of the world unite!!!
    A new world is in the making!!!


  16. That kid always creeped me out but the new one is the worst. His eyes are bugging out of his head like someone is squeezing his balls. I couldn’t believe they made another one.

  17. The little creep reminds me of those rosycheeked Hitler Jugend kids in Cabaret. Ja, you eat zucker krap for fruhstucke, nein?
    Vatch die Kleine Hans turn into Chucky ven your back iss turned.

  18. I just find it borderline offensive because he looks like an idealized Aryan child. The lederhosen and accent would have been ok if he wasn’t blonde hair and blue eyed. That just puts it over the top.

  19. Honestly, it irritates me that he pronounces several English words with a fake German accent! And Gregory is not a German name, and unless his family is of noble decent, the last name starting with “von” is also suspect. I grew up in Bavaria along the Austrian border, and none of my friends speak English with such an awful accent. Thatchild is not German or Austrian at all. It is clearly a publicity tactic to get people to buy the product. But I would not touch it now because it irritates me that they would make Germans and Austrian kids look like dumb, wide-eyed, robotic fools!

  20. Oh, and if you look up Austrian last names, straussen is nowhere to be seen. As a matter of fact, it seems that the name is a venezuelan name (100%)! That boy is not German or Austrian! And Germans can say “oo” very easily, the “oo” in gooey is not a difficult sound. That is what made me question his nationality to start with!

  21. WRONG< SABRINA! You don't know what you're talking about. "Gregory is not a German name" <---How stupid. Sabrina is, however, a name chosen by a lot of hookers and strippers.

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