Sally Field Stops Boniva.

“Suddenly, every bone in her body snapped like a tooth pick in rough surf,” said a friend of Sally Field — a friend who is not only prone to hyperbole, we’re not even really sure he even  knows Sally.

“It was her idea to stop the Boniva cold turkey and this tragedy — perhaps even worse than the Hindenburg or the Kennedy Assassination has happened.    Doctors don’t know how long she will be stuck like this, but we are all praying and tonight we are having a candlelight vigil.”

So it seems that Sally has gone cold turkey off of Boniva and now every bone is her body is broken.  It’s a shame because she only has this one life and now she might be spending a year of it in a cast.

“She was doing yoga at a class in Beverly Hills,” said screen legend Bonnie Franklin.  “I was tap dancing, because I love to tap, and suddenly Sally went into the lotus position and all we heard were cracking and crunching sounds.   We called 911.  Of  course when the paramedics arrived they race to rescue me because I am the bigger star, but I had to point to the pile of rubble on the ground that used to be Sally Field.”

Ladies must not stop with the Boniva — look at Sally for crying out lout!

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