What To Tell Your Children When They Ask About Trump

[Damien LeGallienne] Donald Trump has been elected President of the United States and there is a very good possibility that his Presidency will have a very profound effect on the future of our children.  So what do you, as a proud and intelligent American,  say when your kids ask you about President Trump?

How do you explain how he rose to power?   What do we teach our children, and what can they learn from the election of a man with so many supposed flaws?

My opinions about the things you should tell your inquisitive children will hopefully enable them to grow — to be better Americans and emotionally stronger adults.

Here are some guidelines:   This is a list of what you as a parent can do and how you should explain it to your children.

1. Never think you are more intelligent than the man or woman who grows your food or makes your car or works with his hands in rural places where they don’t have tall buildings and Apple Stores.  
2. Never take for granted that there are millions of people out there who work from sunrise to sunset to put bread on your table and milk in your refrigerator — or even the man who makes your refrigerator.
3. Understand that almost all men talk about sexy girls and about their sexual conquests – real or imagined- when they are in an all-male environment.  Children should understand that there is nothing wrong with that.  When they grow up, they too will think that some women are sexy and some guys are hot, and they will talk about these things with others of the same sex because it’s developmentally NORMAL.
4.  It’s perfectly normal and healthy to be horny, and that’s the way it has been since the beginning of time.  The only people who don’t talk about “hot” girls and “hunky” guys are unhappy misfits who have already been taught by their fat and ugly and unhappy mothers, fathers and teachers that self-hatred and self-loathing are things that make someone a virtuous person.  
5. Don’t believe “feminists” who tell you that members of the female sex are just sexual objects who are used and demeaned by men, because almost always this is either a blatant lie or your mommy has serious mental health issues and should be put away until she snaps out of her delusional state.   Most women — apart from the mentally sick misfits –actually enjoy being sexually objectified or desired to some degree.  That’s why they buy tons of makeup and they get their hair dyed to look alluring,  and they wear sexy outfits.  In fact, even fat lesbians with grey-streaked crew cuts are trying to look sexy and sexually desirable for their lipstick-lesbian counterparts.  It’s all about the evolution of the mating ritual, and every ugly man or woman who claims to be “only a sex object” is lying because they’re trying to internalize the truth about the fact that they are human beings who are genetically programmed to have sex for pleasure and procreation.  Then, when they feel they have been acting too sexy and they screw up  their lives and marriages, they say they were either raped or molested evenif they weren’t.  This is very bad because it detracts from the reality that a lot of people are raped or molested for real — even fat lesbians with  crew cuts.    
6. Don’t be a psycho Liberal and think you’re smarter than people who are Conservative and carry with them Conservative values and morals.  No one from New York City or Los Angeles is better than anyone else who was born a human being anywhere else in the USA.  Ironically, the truth is that the people in the cities — the really hip and cool people — are actually the stupid ones because they don’t have minds of their own.  They follow the crowd to the IPad store and they gloriously pretend to like junky art and music because they have no real opinions.  In reality, they are living unhappy lives that are fueled by alcohol (usually tequila)  and drugs and sex and deep-rooted hatred for moral and contented people.  They are secretly jealous of the men and women in Middle America who have healthy family relationships and happy children who are allowed to dress up for Halloween and see the Baby Jesus statues at Christmas.   
7. Never underestimate the power of being an “ordinary person,” because there is really no such thing as an ordinary person.  Regardless of where you come from in the USA, you are either a normal person with a unique personality, and your talents and interests are wrought from your own mind, or you’re a misfit.  
8. The mirror image of the normal person is the proverbial MISFIT — born to be unhappy and to drag that unhappiness down onto others.  They are peacocks stricken with a strange and deforming anomaly.  They show their fancy feathers bu there is no color.  They are sick within — like a pretty car that has hidden rust.  They eventually fall apart and rust and then they blame their decay on the environment and other people. 
9. Don’t ever think that there is something cool about twerking or making lewd gestures while playing on stage at the White House for a First Lady who thinks that using a dirty word is demeaning to women, but then thinks nothing of featuring a hip hop entertainment that features cop killer rappers and twerking sluts — believing that these people are role models for their kids, while, at the same time, telling you that President Trump is evil simply because he used the word “pussy.”
10. EAT FOOD.   Don’t be told that you are gluten intolerant or lactose intolerant unless a certified physician tells you so.  Do not allow your crazy parents and politicians to invent illnesses that you do not have simply because it’s really cool to have a hip disease.  The other kids will start thinking that you are weird and stupid — and that kind of stuff messes up your life.  If your parents will not let you get vaccinated or they treat your illnesses “holistically,” call the police and tell them that your parents are stupid and that they are endangering your health. 
11. Don’t let the wife of the US President tell you or your school what you should be eating.  If they take the candy machine out of your school, tell your parents to move you to another school that is not run by unhappy MISFITS and crooked political hacks who hate themselves and want you to hate yourself too.  (see rule #2).
12. Know that the USA is the greatest place on earth and that no matter what the political morons in Hollywood tell you, there is no better place in the universe.  Understand that millionaire celebrities are usually uneducated and stupid, but they have a lot of money so they don’t have to live in dangerous neighborhoods with gangs and thugs or share their neighborhoods with the kind of people they say are oppressed.   They live behind gates and walls and they will try to make you feel bad about yourself if your mommy or daddy is “licensed to carry” in order to protect you from Muslim terrorists or Mexican gangs and all other criminals and crazy people. 
13. Don’t believe in euphemisms — these are words that are fabric-softened to make them sound nicer.   Grow up knowing that PRO-CHOICE really means PRO-ABORTION – killing unborn babies because you’re too stupid to know that in the year 2017 there are 100 ways to keep from getting pregnant.   Some mommies — especially slutty druggie mommies — make babies like you and then, because they don’t want them, they suck them out of their bellies with a chopping blade that shreds the unborn baby to pieces and then sucks it away.  
14. Sex education should only teach you how sex organs work, and why they work and how not to be a slutty slut or a dumb horny guy who doesn’t know how to use a condom because he is all full of alcohol and drugs and only wants pleasure at the moment.  If you’re under 21, condoms should only be used as water balloons anyway.
15. Believe in SOMETHING and don’t pay any attention to those miserable, in-your-face atheists.   They are always unhappy people….ALWAYS.  It’s okay to not practice any religion, and it’s even okay to not believe in God. but it’s healthier to know that there is a higher power than to succumb to the filthy scums in Hollywood and wherever else godless people assemble to take drugs, kill babies, twerk for Presidents and mock the people who grow lettuce and tomatoes and potatoes. 
16. Be kind to people — even if they are MISFITS.   A misfit in danger or need should not be cast aside.  The worst thing you can be is unkind or violent.  When a misfit is not in need, and is simply acting out their misfitted-ness, you should simply ignore them and pity their unhappiness.