LISTEN UP, VIEWERS!
GLADYS from AUSTIN and her, “I love Jesus, but I drink a little,” is – was – and will forever be —- a hilarious hoax!
NOTE TO MY READERS: Prior to this draft, there was another version of this story. In that version, which was up online for several months, I expressed my annoyance with Ellen and the comedian who played the part of Gladys on the telephone. I thought the whole thing was stupid and silly and simplistic — and I loved it. I gave it a really nasty review, and in my world, that’s a good thing.
The comic who invented Gladys, however, got all up in arms and thin-skinned about it as you can easily read in the comments section. So, in order to punish him for his pettiness, I changed this story to be simplistic and dull and uninspiring. What you are about to read is now a hollow fluff piece — retooled by me so as to punish the comic for being a jerk. Thank you.
The face book sharers are at it again and this time these ELLEN “sharers” are even more hysterical than ever.
This is a clip of the show from another camera and you can see the cue cards — Degeneres Cue Cards Video.
Old Gladys — all 88 years of her — is/was an imaginary character conjured up by the brilliantly funny comedian SCOTT HARDY — one of the funniest comics in all of Texas — or maybe even the USA. He has played for the Crown Heads of some the greatest countries in the world — and he would have played to their bodies as well but bodies with legs can walk out from a performance a whole lot easier than just heads placed on a seat.
Scott created a character that Ellen used to fool her audience. But what would you expect — Ellen has been making her audience roll in the aisles for 20 years. Isn’t Ellen just great? Isn’t she? Isn’t this so funny and inventive and imaginative?
This time it was a comic even wittier than Ellen herself who connected to Ellen’s audience — and Millions have been laughing as the video has gone viral.
Admittedly, what I am talking about happened six years ago, but the video is still out there — spreading across the world of Facebookers the world overand bringing holiday cheer to all.
Six years on and the Scott Hardy fans – new and old — are still sharing it, so somebody has to do the dirty work and tell you people that Gladys, the “I love Jesus but I drink a little” phone caller on the Ellen Degeneres show, was really a character invented by a comedic genius who ranks up there with the best of the best.
“I invited Scott to Buckingham Palace to play for me in a private audience, and I like to think that the 88-year-old woman Scott created is me. I am, after all, the one who taught Scott Hardy how to be a royal pain the ass. Prior to meeting me, he was just a pain in the ass.” [Elizabeth II]
There was no Gladys from Austin, but there was a local comedian in Austin who invented that character. His name is Scott Hardy and he didn’t fool Ellen — she knew all along that she was fooling her audience — and what better way to get a laugh?
In other words: Gladys, was not really an 88-year-old woman — it was really the comic Scott Hardy. It’s okay if you never heard of Scott. Most people haven’t — but soon he will be a household name.
Ellen somehow returned Gladys’ call the next day and had her audience in stitches. And this is what happens when two brilliant minds get together to hoodwink the public. It’s a double laugh within a laugh.
NOTE: As of 22 December, 2014, this blog entry has 313,007 views.
EDITORS NOTE: IT IS VERY EASY TO COMMENT ON THE DAMIEN ZONE. I DO NOT PUT YOU THROUGH A LONG PROCESS OF SIGNING UP AND VERIFYING EMAILS. THE DOWNSIDE TO THIS IS THAT IT MIGHT TAKE SEVERAL HOURS FOR YOUR COMMENT TO APPEAR. SOMETIMES IT TAKES A FEW MOMENTS AND SOMETIMES IT TAKES HOURS — BUT IT WILL APPEAR — I CAN ASSURE YOU. I WELCOME ALL POINTS OF VIEW AND SOMETIMES I WILL ANSWER….EVEN IF YOU INSULT ME.
Where and when did Gladys give Ellen her phone number?
Ellen read it off of that modern fantastic piece of technology known as “Caller I.D.”
No I don’t see “how easy it can be to spot a routine”
You obviously overlooked the OBVIOUS !
Gladys is NOT a Puppet. There are not many people in this world that are more real and genuine than Ellen.
The person on the phone, Casey, is a comic of some fame who created the character of “Gladys.” That’s not an OPINION — it’s a FACT. The Screen Actors Guild, (SAG) paid that comic a fee for every Gladys phone call — this is a matter of public record. The amount he was paid is private, but the fact that HE was paid is not. Another angle on how this played out was that Ellen was prepared for the “Gladys” call and the comic waived any fee — highly doubtful.
Party Pooper. Do you set up late thinking of ways to ruin a laugh? I pity people such as yourself who hasn’t anything better to do. Who gives a crap where the humor was born as long as it reaulted in a good belly roll. Now go back to your corner and for God’s sake don’t laugh!
You pity me? Okay, stay happy living life as a mindless simpleton, you moron.
You do know that Ellen is an entertainer, right? Of course, if this had been used to raise money for poor old Gladys, it would have been wrong, but that didn’t happen. All that happened was it made people laugh, which is what people watch Ellen for.
It sounds like you need to exercise your sense of humor.
It’s not Ellen, Sam. It’s the simpletons who write in and talk about this awesome old woman who doesn’t really exist. The stupidity emanates from the maudlin sentiment of the eternally dumb Ellen viewer. And, don’t suggest that this is about humor. Ellen is hoodwinking her fans — as stupid as they are. Let’s use YOU as an example, Sam. You seem to be caught up in the simpleton-ism of the Ellen ruse — and in doing that — you prove the purpose of this website — that the average person is simplistic and moronic.
You assume a lot. I just saw the video today, one of the comments said Gladys was fake, I was curious and found your site.
Am I a moron because I laughed? No. Ellen is hoodwinking her fans? While that may be true, people go to see entertainers TO BE hoodwinked.
Would you complain that David Copperfield really didn’t make an elephant disappear? Would you complain that Walter and Peanut don’t really talk (it is Jeff Dunham talking the whole time)?
As long as people are getting what they paid for (entertainment), there is nothing wrong with an entertainer “hoodwinking” the audience.
You seem like a rather dull and bitter person, but then, maybe you’re just hoodwinking me.
Yes — maybe I am hoodwinking you, Sam. Like I said, Sam. It’s more than the jokes — it’s the simplicity of the jokes. Old lady/Jesus/booze — very shticky. Even more annoying is when the dope down at the hair salon says something like, “OMG! I cannot believe that old lady in Texas who calls Ellen is sooooooo funny.” Also, if i had a dollar for every comment wherein I am referred to as bitter or angry or off my meds or living in my mom’s basement. I would be a trillionaire.
Ah, so this isn’t really about some sort of moral objection for you, then…it is about taste.
There is no arguing with taste.
Seriously? Who has time for this shit??
But really–what do you do with your life that you have time like this?
Here is the thing, Taylor, as I recall it. I do not need TIME to do this — maybe you do. This piece probably took me 12 minutes — that’s average, and for that 12 minutes, I make about $(US)72.09. When you can do that, give me a call.
Where to start?
People laughed. Goal. Jokes suppose to be simple. Sure there are the very intellectual ones, but after a hard day at work, people might don´t want to think before they laugh. It´s just that easy! Was it Fake? Doesn´t matter at all. People who laugh about “stupid” jokes are, in your opinion, stupid? I doubt that very much!
I don´t even get why it´s such a problem that people believed Gladys is real. It made people happy to think that, nobody got hurt, so whats the big deal?
I´m just going to post this video now, because a smiling face is the best one! 🙂
Well I can 100% say the call was not staged. I was there. I recorded it. I still have and own that recording. My Nana Gladys has brought sincere joy and happiness to people for seven seasons Damien. ( who gives a shit — you are a nobody) That is real Yes we did know that someone from the Ellen DeGeneres show was going to call that day. We did not know that it would be Ellen, and we certainly did not know that it would turn out to be such a sweet (????) and hilarious (?????) television moment. ( not funny — corny and trite — aiming for simpletons)
PS- Just five minutes ago we found out who “Damien” really is ( no you did not). “Damien” currently has several stalking and harassment judgments against her. ( 100% not true and I might have to take a trip down to the Missouri City Courthouse and sue you — but what could you actually own that I could take?0 “Her?” Untrue story folks. Whether Gladys is “real” or not is irrelevant. The woman that wrote this hateful blog, has created this for her own attention is a genuine and certifiable sociopath.<---LAWSUIT IF I WERE THIS PERSON. Can't you just finally accept that some people have the ability to experience joy? ( Even Simpleton) You have always thought that your greatest strength is your intelligence. But if you were so smart why haven't you discovered happiness? ( I am very happy to shit on your stupidity) It constantly alludes you because you refuse to get help, and this blog clearly indicates that. from Damien—->YOU HAVE GOT THE WRONG PARTY, ASSHOLE. YOU ARE LIVING IN A WORD WHERE YOU THINK THAT ONLY ONE PERSON IN THE WHOLE WORLD THINKS YOU ARE UNFUNNY. YOU IMAGINE THAT ANYONE WHO THINKS YOU ARE NOT FUNNY MUST BE A HORRIBLE AND MISERABLE PERSON — BUT MAYBE THOSE WHO FIND YOU TO BE UNFUNNY ARE SIMPLY PEOPLE WITH TASTE.
Listen — asshole — Damien is me — I have no “charges” against me — and I am not a woman masquerading as a man — and yes, I have found and experienced joy. Just watching you make a fucking asshole out of yourself -an F list cheap city comic whose 15 minutes of fame has expired — living in your shithole city gives me great joy. Here is what I would like you to do — and please, please please do it. I would like for you to name the name of the person you think I am — write her name in the comment — I will find this person and GIVE her the money she needs to sue you. Yes, I can totally afford to do that — and I will.
Damien,
If you are going to edit my posts then we can never have a reasonable discourse. I took a screenshot of my comments pending approval, because I suspected that you would be this predictable. If you’re going to add to what I’ve written – perhaps make sure that is all bold or in a different color. This might eliminate confusion for your readers.
Seven seasons Damien.
That’s hardly 15 minutes of fame. A dedicated segment of 4 to 5 minutes for Gladys. So far – 38 phone calls total. Gladys was also the house announcer for the Ellen DeGeneres show for an entire month.
You don’t like Ellen- That’s totally okay. You don’t think Gladys is funny and that’s certainly more than okay. You think of me as a washed up hack who seeks validation… well I’m slightly inclined to agree with you on that one… But the reality is “Damien” you are the only person truly pretending to be someone else. That’s a fact. Your blog would have absolutely little to no traffic if it weren’t for the creative efforts of other people. Whether you think it has merit or not- it is brining you a type of success!
I don’t like your blog not because you don’t like me. I have the ability to love people who don’t like me. My issue is that your blog is consistently hateful, and I know who you are and why you are doing this.
Regarding lawsuits – I would be more concerned that you are current posting and using copywritten material/images.
REASONABLE DISCOURSE?
That is not possible because you think that I am someone you know — someone who has a vendetta — I AM NOT SOMEONE YOU KNOW WHO HAS A BEEF WITH YOU! I DO NOT KNOW YOU. Please — STOP. YOu are starting to weird me out. You miss the entire point of the blog.
If commenting on my blog raises your visibility ( 3400 people have read this so far this month) or keeps you somehow in the public eye, however, then keep doing it. but do NOT say that I am somebody else who is bothering you in some other aspect of your life.
If someone is stalking you or harassing you, by all means, go after that person, but at the present time, and for the purposes of my HATEFUL blog wherein ONE story out of 1780 pokes fun at your Ellen sketch — YOU are BOTHERING me. I am NOT DOING THIS for any reason other than to entertain the people who read the dopey stories.
Listen – and pay attention — I AM NOT SOMEBODY YOU KNOW — Who THE hell on earth hates you so much that they would spend 5 years writing nearly 2,000 blog entries and then only mention you once? Be serious. If I knew you and disliked you I would not write one story about you — I would write a whole shitload of stories.
IN the piece I mocked the Facebook morons — not you. Yes, I mock very famous comics but I never heard of you until I wrote this blog entry — and even then — I forgot your name 2 minutes after I wrote the story.
I write all my own stuff or writers supply me with stupid shit — and I pump out a dopey story in 10 minutes. This blog is a joke and I am very skilled at writing it — I can push these stories out in a very short period of time. End of story — or would you like me to write another one? Maybe you would like to write your own story — and promote your own career — I would be happy to publish that on this blog — and you get full credit. If that’s what you want.
Scott — re-read the story now. Happy — ?? I doubt it.
Gee — now that I have made this whole thing into a feel-good story — what the hell are we going to do with all these angry comments? See the dumbness, folks? You brought it all on yourselves.
Ha! Too funny – you got totally played by Scott Hardy & you don’t even realise it. It took him only two comments to get you to change the story without even directly asking you, easy manipulation… now who’s stupid “Damien”? 🙂
I changed it to make a fool out of him. Do you honestly think that I would do that to placate him? I did it to make the story as ordinary and dull and smarmy as he seems to want to be. By doing what I did, I punished him. Of course you’re too much of a dumb skank to realize what I did — that’s your lot in life, Holly. By the way, according to my website radar, Holly comes to me from London, England. This could be true but most of my “Londoners” are people who use Obama welfare phones which are carried by a server at Virgin and then appear to me as having come from London. Could a real Brit be that stupid? I wouldn’t think so — but anything is possible in the realm of the stupid.
You see, folks, this is the irony. Holly writes to me with the crazy notion that I am stupid when in fact she is the one who put her stupidity on stage for all of you to see. Holly is too stupid to realize that by making the story dull and poorly written and repetitive that I have boosted my own numbers while lowering the interest factor in Scott Hardy. NOBODY EVER WINS BUT ME!
I have to admit, I overly enjoyed reading this comment section!
Damien, you claim that this is a website dedicated to stupidity and dumbness but thus far all I’ve seen is a website dedicated to you and your arrogance. Now, I enjoy schadenfreude as much as the next person but, what you post here is not based in simple enjoyment of the tomfoolery of others. What you post here is more about trying to show the world how smart you are and stupid they are. Okay, that’s fine if pointing out such things is really important to you but, consider this:
1) Do you really need a whole website to do it? Isn’t having a site dedicated to such an arrogant pursuit, well, narcissistic at it’s purest? Is that the mark you want to leave on the world?
2) Your writing shows you to be a person of relative intellect and education; surely there are better ways of spending your time then self-puffery.
3) Why is it necessary to play the killjoy? “Gladys” is harmless fun. What you post here shows an element of spite, which is, not harmless nor fun.
Now, Damien, there is no need to respond to my comment. In fact, I’d prefer it if you didn’t. However, would I do respectfully request is that you give what I’ve written some thought and, if you are so moved, please consider making a few changes. I’ll bet the world would be even just a little brighter with someone with your potential on the side of good. 🙂
Mrs. U — Have you ever seen The Wizard of Oz? I am the wizard. That is how I see myself. Also, in an even less realistic sense, I see myself as an angel of truth and mercy. Angels, even merciful ones, were not always kind or gentle. My blog promises to expose stupidity and dumbness and I must be diligent in that quest. Most bloggers do not even bother to respond to comments — nicely or angrily or otherwise — but I do because I simply refuse to address an issue and then walk away; leaving anonymous people fighting or frustrated in my wake. Mine is a very strange variety of kindness. I am the way I am because I allow people to speak their minds, and when they do, they must prepare for my response. I cannot bring a slingshot to a gunfight and then hope to survive let alone win.
Thank you
Damien
Thank you, Chuck. I only wish that people would understand why I behave the way I do — but they never will.
Damien LeGallienne
Damien, you do realize that the “Wizard” was just a useless little man behind a curtain? …just sayin’
When all is said and done, SopranoLow — at least as far as the story goes — the Wizard aka Professor Marvel – is the man who talked adult sense into Dorothy and sent her home in time to survive the tornado. If it hadn’t been for Professor Marvel she would have surely perished.
No, thank you Damien,
I do believe I understand you a little….. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this whole blog. I argued with myself over a few of the comments, but then I realized I liked reading about others opinions on all the material. Nice Damien, real nice. I am entertained.
No Damien,
Professor Marvel (aka the Wizard) was still just a useless little man behind the curtain. He couldnt even figure out how to land after he went up in the balloon. He couldnt even come back to get her. She could however get herself home. As the good witch put it, all she had to do was believe in herself and she could have gone home at any time. Professor Marvel had nothing to do with it.
But we people who laugh and have fun even though we know that what we truly know is fake is still funny. It gives us joy to feel alive and not give in to the dark and nasty demons of this world. I dont enjoy looking at the sick or morose side of life and to be lonely and dull like you. You can be whatever you want to be but i choose life and i always will. What ever you have as a comment cant faze me in the least cuz i choose not to listen to you. I love watching Ellen and countless others who make this world just a little bit brighter. There is quite enough wars and tragedy in this life to last for years. Hope and the humor we can squeek out of it is our way of dealing with it. So you cant affect it unless we want it to. You call it what you want. I call it freedom. I am a born again christian and because I am, I have hope. I have something after this life to look forward to. No matter if i get imprisoned or am killed by a psycho or worse, I am a free person. Nothing else can touch me.
Have you ever even seen The Wizard of Oz, Tammi? Professor Marvel is the real character who is transformed into the Wizard during Dorothy’s dream trip to Oz. Don’t you understand the metaphor?
Damien
Just because he was dreamed up by Dorothy in this movie doesnt mean he was a real character. She was the real character. She was the one who had to figure out that she could have gone home on her own. She didnt need the help of anyone cuz she already had it in herself to make her way home. She found out that the Wizard she had built up to be like a God had let her down. You cant put anyone on a pedestal cuz you will get disappointed everytime.
whether it was a scretch or not whether people are ‘simpletons’ or not is it a crime to pretend and make someone happy by laughing i dont care id she is real or not it made me happy and made me laugh… btw harry potter is not real…. does it really need to be said!
Wow Damien seems like an arrogant cunt. Get over yourself, you write a blog. You’re really cool.
It doesn’t need to be said, and because it’s so needless, you had to say it, Jenn. YAWN!
Tammy — I do not know how Damien tolerated your stupidity. I would have told you to take a hike after your first illiterate comment. You’re a moronic contrarian. You put Jesus up on a pedestal — but it seems as though he let you down in the brains department. You might be “born again” honey, but your brains never made it out of the birth canal on either trip. I think you should be on a strict diet of chicken broth and gruel.
Dave — Sunday Editor NYC.
Folks, have you lost your minds? The comedian is this Damien guy. Gladys is real. In fact, she’s quite famous now in central Texas. Look at the text of this page. Do you really think Queen Elizabeth referred to someone as a “pain in the ass”? This Damian character created the fictitious Scott Hardy. Why, I don’t know. Maybe he just can’t stand the fact that there are true characters out there whom people find amusing.
Well that escalated quickly.
Kinda wrong there. Erik. Damien is real and he is me — and that ME is a blogger. Scott Hardy is a real comedian who is really the voice of the old lady. He wrote to me in anger because my opinion differed from his opinion. I was annoyed by the Facebook Simpletons — people I see as an unfortunate ethnic group — and I told them the truth about the unfunny old lady character. Scott didn’t like my tone and I, in turn, did not like his. With that said, the reason this all “escalated” is because the original rendering of this story was quite different. It was FUNNY but unkind ( as it should be) to Ellen fans. But, because Scott got pissed off, I rewarded him ( he thinks) by changing the story to a feel good corny story. I did this to make Scott seem dull whereas in the original story I made him sound important enough to be heckled. So now we have three armies in the same war. I have hired a writer to monitor this page because this is NOT supposed to be actual work for me. Yesterday I did not write anything because on weekends I hand off the snarky canards to this guy…..> http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3834680/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
Things usually do when idiots cannot understand what they read.
Thank you, VJ
Damien
Who cares…fake or real….the laughing was real….& healthy. Laughter is the best medicine. Laughing gives you a better outlook on life. The glass is half full…not half empty. Grow up & laugh A little!!!!
Oh man, I have gotten a kick out of reading these comments!
Honestly though, I have always thought the Gladys bit was staged from Day 1, however, it still makes me laugh. A lot of the things comedians say or say they did aren’t true. A laugh is a laugh, whether you’re laughing at something real or fake, it’s all in fun.
It’s all in fun — until the comedian turns out to be a thin-skinned jerk.
To be honest, the entire comments section confused me…and who is this supposed ‘Damien’ besides a narcissistic jerk? Whether you are real or not, or Gladys Hardy is real or not, doesn’t particularly matter. The only thing I got out of this article and the comments was that Damien is rude (possibly the whole point of this website), Gladys Hardy is funny, despite the legitimacy of her/his existence and some people are intolerant, namely Damien. Anyway, enjoy your lives and I hope Damien finds happiness in a life that seems bitter, at least to the rest of the world.
If the comments section confuses you, Andrea, we have a cartoon and finger painting section where you can sit and enjoy yourself. Jesus H. Christ! How the hell did you go from being “confused” to being my psychoanalyst? I hate this comment. It makes me sick because it pretty much makes no sense. If you are confused, you should ask a question rather than make a blanket statement. There is nothing “bitter” about truth, Andrea. There is, however, something simple-minded and child-like about your kind of truth. Oh man do I hate this comment.
Honestly, I’m a little late to this Gladys thing… I just discovered it today on youtube. Could i tell it was staged or exaggerated? Yes. I’ve always been skeptical of situations like that on television, and if you really pay attention and imagine it from the behind-the-scenes point of view, you can tell… But I laughed! A long belly laugh- and I needed that!
It’s sort of the same as when a comedian is doing their shtick- you know that the “So I went to a play the other day, and guess what I saw..” etc. is not necessarily true, it’s a set up for the laughs. They set up a story and none of it has to be true, but it makes people laugh. Some people don’t think long enough about it to see through it, and some people naturally analyze it, but please don’t call them dumb! It’s bad form. 🙁
If you had read the ORIGINAL rendering of this blog entry, you would have seen that the object of my annoyance was the stupid audience of dumb housewives and past middle-aged dutiful sons who go grocery shopping with their elderly mothers. I changed it into a feel-good piece because the person behind the unfunny Gladys persona was angry. And, because I am an angel of truth and mercy for the simpletons of the world, I made it a happy and mindless piece of junk so as to situate the comic in question right where he belonged — in a dull and uninspired and poorly written article. Kindly do not tell me about my “bad form.” My bad form has gotten me nearly 4 millions unique visits in 3.2 years and a whole lot of money. When you can do that with something to which you devote 20 minutes per day — when you can influence the opinions of a whole bunch of people throughout the USA and Europe, and make a lot of money in the process, let me know and I will hire you to write entries for me. Damien LeGallienne.
Hmm, ….. hmmmmmmmmmm Interesting enough that I’ll leave a comment. To those who are pissed off at a person who wrote his/her (not that it matters at all whether someone portrays themselves as a specific gender online.) opinion on their own website, and in their own blog; why did you click the link to begin with? Why did you read the post? Doesn’t that mean that somewhere in your head you thought for a moment that maybe Gladys wasn’t real. You can’t deny that I’m wrong, because the truth is that I’m not wrong. Now is Damien a complete troll, yes he is. (Although not a perfect troll….no offense, but it could use some tweaking.) To be so aggravated by his comments, is to admit that on some level none of you really think very highly of yourselves. It’s cute, these trite but eloquent arguments. Oh and so everyone is aware Natalie isn’t my name, nor Natalie Winters. Its an online front, I suggest everyone have one for reasons only a writer, blogger, or gamer would truly understand. This true Sociopath is bored now. xoxo 😉
I agree with everything you said until you called me a troll. I am, in fact, the anti-troll. My mission is to end troll-ism as it pertains to stupidity and dumbness on earth and elsewhere. I assume that conceptualization renders me untweakable. You know what the best thing about you is, Natalie? You didn’t annoy me by spelling your fake name with an “h” as in Nathalie. I hate that. On the flip side, I loath when Theresa is spelling without the “h” — don’t you?
Damien LeGallienne
Male fer reals.
“Oh what fun, it is to ride, with an idiot known as Damien.”
It’s always a pleasure to read a little boy’s post. When someone has that much time to waste defending nothing, it’s apparent he gets out of junior high school about 2:15 each day. Did mommy let you use the computer in the basement little boy?
While I grew weary of reading your self indulging worthless drivel shortly after glancing at your first post, your moronic nature leads me to believe you have no life. Well, perhaps you do have a life of picking cyber fights since in reality, everyone slaps you silly.
It’s a shame I’ll not be around for your reply. I’m sure it will be one for the anals!