Julien Assange Sick? Snowden Finished? Who Cares What Ecuador Thinks Anyway?

Julien Assange, the internationally loathed purveyor of Wikileaks is getting ready to turn himself in to the authorities.

The Dump where Assange is a squatter, The life of glamour and fame he had imagined for himself when he started spilling secrets about the American government with his infamous “WIKILEAKS” is literally closing in on him as he sweats out his day in the dilapidated 580 square feet provided for him by the Ecuadorian Embassy in London where he has sought asylum for over a year in a vain attempt to dodge rape charges in Sweden and charges of conspiracy in the USA.

“Assange is very sick and very bored and very lonely,” said a source close to the embassy.

“He has been chronically sick with lung ailments and quite frankly, the Ecuadorian Consulate is getting sick of providing for him. He is the proverbial guest who never leaves. He’s dirty and unbearably untidy. He eats food that he takes away from local restaurants but his money is running out because his supporters are drifting away from him. He seems to have lost his mystique and at this point a chance at prison in Sweden might not seem so bad to him after all.

“He is weighing that option, but he knows that even if he gets acquitted of the charges in Sweden or he gets off with a light sentence, he will still have to face the wrath of the United States. He is so incredibly afraid of the USA that he hardly sleeps and prefers to use a sunlamp to boost his moods rather than stand on the embassy’s balcony. His life is a complete mess. It’s nothing like he imagined it would be. Convicts in American prisons have a better life than Assange because all he has to do is peek out through the window to see the whole of London right before him, but he can’t go anywhere. He may as well be a quadriplegic”

According to other sources Assange has been chronically sick, and in spite of all the fame and notoriety, Assange is living like a poverty stricken recluse — and he has no choice right now. He could walk out onto the London streets but there are authorities parked there who will instantly arrest him. Also, his illness is not being properly treated. In fact, nobody seems to know exactly what is wrong with him, but he has grown very weak and frail. One person who would know says that Assange “looks like death.”

Assange set out to be a hero just like self-proclaimed whistleblower Edward Snowden, but according to sources, he is living in an area smaller than a studio apartment and the staff at the Ecuadorian embassy treats him like dirt. They simply do not like him and more than once it has been suggested that the Ecuadorians have had just about enough.

In the beginning Ecuador thought it was a major world player and they took in Assange as a way to flex their imaginary international muscles, but now they realize that nobody is paying attention and the whole situation is nothing but a nuisance. For a moment the Ecuadorians thought they could revive that international acclaim by taking in Edward Snowden as well, but there were two major stumbling blocks.

Primarily, the South American nation, as much as it pretends otherwise, is afraid of what the United States might do if they were again to throw a money wrench into the American machine.  The other reason is pretty simple — they don’t have room or time for Snowden. They learned that lesson from Assange. It costs money to house a human being, and while one person may seem like a drop in the ocean when it comes to the budget of an entire country, the money starts to add up when embassy’s abroad need to stick to budgetary constraints.  It sounds funny to say, but it seems as though the folks at the embassy are getting tired of having to clean up around Assange.  

“And who gives a bloody s**t about Ecuador,” said Paul Braham, a private investigator who is keeping tabs on Assange for a Swiss writer and biographer.

“When did that day come when the United States and the United Kingdom would choose to give a bloody hell what the government of Ecuador thinks? There was a time when the CIA or British Intelligence would have walked right into that embassy and dragged out that silly wanker by his hair with nary a care about what any Ecuadorian official might think.

“What on earth is the importance or significance of Ecuador on the world stage? What power do they have to offer asylum to this monster and his copy-cat admirers? When the bleeding hell did the CIA turn into bloody Nancy Boys? Who cares what Ecuador thinks? They’re nothing and they should be treated like nothing. Assange and Snowden have probably indirectly or directly caused the deaths of soldiers and civilians and this ridiculous little banana republic is enabling it all. It’s bloody stupid and sickening.”

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