According to rapidly spreading reports, Sandra Fluck was running around the Democratic National Convention bragging that she was able to insult the whole Pro-Life crowd when she brazenly wore an ugly necklace that was actually made from all of the diaphragms she has used over the past year.
“Sandra likes to kill fetuses and if she thinks for one second that her Intrauterine Device (IUD) is losing its edge, she quckly gets a new one before a baby gets a chance to form in her uterus,” said Dr. Raymond Tote-Tundy MD, the head of K.U.B.A.M.S. – KILL UNBORN BABIES AND MAKE STUFF.
“Sometimes she let’s the IUD get a little worn out to be sure the fetus suffers a little extra pain, but mostly she likes to cut ’em up pretty early on so she can go out and get pregnant again and kill the new fetus. With Sandra it’s all about the numbers. If she can kill two babies a month she is really happy.
“Sandra is trying to make her uterus famous but pro life people think that she herself is seeking fame. Nothing could be further from the truth. She has a hard time meeting men and when she does meet a nice guy he is instantly turned off by her whining and annoying lack of personality. She’s basically a very dull and scummy person who has to buy sperm from a clinic, but I am turning a buck sticking by her so, sue me.”
Seems like spokesperson Dr. Raymond Tote-Tundy is telling the truth. Sandra Fluke was ineed wearing a necklace made from discarded intrauturine devices or Nuvo rings which she painted gold.
“Sandra is into making crafts and she made those old scuzzy IUD’s look fab. I mean, it’s not real diamonds and gold, the stuff I go for, but her dream is someday to make a macaroni clock out of aborted fetuses. She is trying to save up the money to do that,” continued Tote-Tundy.
“She wants to take regular dinner plates and glue macaroni to them because Kanye West taught her how to do that — and Kanye West Macaroni clocks are practically priceless — and you can GOOGLE that if you don’t believe me.
“There is even one Kanye clock in the Smithsonian museum.
“Sandra wants to copy Kanye’s style but instead of ziti or rigatoni, she wants to use aborted fetuses in various stage of development for the numbers. She wants to further enhance the beauty of this aborted fetus clock by using the arms of late term abortion babies for the hand of he clock. A short arm will be the little hand — literally — and a long arm will be the long hand — literally again. I saw a a sketch of one of Sandra Flukes clocks and it was to die for.
“If she could make such a gorgeous necklace for the Democratic National Cnvention with old IUDs, imagine what she could do with aborted fetuses. The woman is a genius and an artist.”
So now you know why Sandra Fluke’s necklace looked so strange. She is truly an amazing woman and a very astute baby killer.
“Most pro life people are just too stupid to realize that there are good uses for dead babies and also for the gadgets you use to kill them,” said a Fluke supporter.
“Sandra might never get a man to impregnate her, but when she does, she plans on making a 3D Imax movie of her partial delivery and then have the camera zoom in on the crushing of the baby’s skull. It will win her an Academy Award and the Palm D’Or. She has a better chance of winning those awards if Romney is President because then they become more than just awards, they become tools with which the pro-abortion let wing world can tell Romney to go to hell.”