Before I get into my scientific analysis of Susan Sarandon, I would like to state the unscientific fact that Susan Sarandon is an unabashed asshole. There! And now for my more scientific analysis: Note that I have done years and years and years of research into this. I have traveled the world and spoken to the world’s greatest experts. This is a very important subject and I dedicated a lot of blood, sweat and tears to bring it to you.
Susan Sarandon is an idiot. The Average person doesn’t need me to tell them about that.
She is a bug-eyed, simple-minded, semi-retarded, and dopey actress — nothing more than that. Like I said, nobody needs my explanation, but perhaps I can shed some light on why exophthalmic Susan is the way she is.
In the old days, centuries ago, being an actor was the lowest thing a person could be without having the plague or leprosy.
In Shakespeare’s time, actors and the people who traveled with them, were what we today would call “Carnies” — circus folks — low life scum. They made little money apart from what they could steal, but they were born with the show biz gene. The actor in the family was the person who didn’t amount to anything — the proverbial “black sheep.”
Shakespeare was a Carney but he was also a writer. In other words, he had a day job that sadly revolved around the fact that he lived in a world of Carneys. John Wilkes Booth was a Carney too — and look at what he did. Lee Harvey Oswald was not a Carney per se, but he was trashy and he did have the need to be on a stage of sorts. He wanted people to notice him. Voila! Therein lies the true nature of the underachieving actor or actress — the Carney who never was — the Carney-Next-Door.
They will never see a foot light or a circus tent, but in their blood runs the true faith of the Carney, and you can bet your life that their life has many Carney elements despite the fact that they are not in the public eye until the cops come. As a matter of fact, the old Reality TV show COPS (filmed on location with the men and women of law enforcement) was the first new venue for the Carney-next-door since the advent of the motion picture camera.
Reality TV has given the Carney-next-door a broader chance at making it big, but for the most part, those carrying the Carney gene offstage, have to ride out their lives without an audience. But for those who make it big………the sky’s the limit!
Today these cinematic Carnies are high-paid and high-profile — but they are still Carnies.
Once a Carney, always a Carney. I would say that about 50% of show successful biz people are carnival-minded simps, while the rest are regular folks who have been lured into show business by unusual beauty or talent or some other reason. That’s how it was in the early days of movies. People were pushed into film because they were really attractive and this new science of motion pictures favored their faces and mannerisms. This is why the actors of old were very unlike the kind of misfits we have today.
Since the vast majority of show-biz people are either unemployed or untalented or unsuccessful or a combination of all three, it is still safe to assume that show business is about the lowest career to which anyone could aspire. The son or daughter who went to Los Angeles “to be an actor” is still the black sheep of the family.
Where was I? Oh yes…Sarandon’s latest remarks about the Pope being a Nazi can simply be understood by looking them up in your Carney Owner User’s Manual — the Bible for how your new, simple-minded Carney will walk and talk. It describes how said Carney will perform when surrounded by people who tell the Carney that he/she is great and witty and talented and important. It’s a very short User’s Manual, and in just a few minutes anyone can figure out the basics of a Carney.
I am not going to bother explaining the whole Pope is a Nazi thing. You can look that up for yourself. What you learned here, however, is that Susan Sarandon is a Carney — that’s all she ever was and all she ever will be.
The funny thing is that by using the Nazi card, you become a Nazi. Susan Sarandon is a “word Nazi.” She says something and billion people hear it or read it — she’s very powerful and the morons who think that she is the character she portrays in her ho-hum movies, believe every word she says.
Regular people who have something to say are rarely heard.
It’s nice to see the Jewish groups go after Sarandon. Maybe that will finally shut her up. Do you know that if Susan Sarandon said what she said about the Pope in France or Germany, she would be charged with a hate crime? I would love to see that. If you don’t believe me, go on and ask Brigitte Bardot. She’ll give you a “what fer.”
Anyway, in a world full of Nazies, people like Sarandon would be rounded up and thrown into a camp — try telling her that — she doesn’t get it and she never will. But you can find it on page 4 of your Carney Owner User’s Manual — which I will be publishing in the upcoming months. Look for it on this website.