Judy Comprez – Vonage — wanted for stealing Perneeeees.

You might know her as the Latina woman from the Vonage commercial — that annoying woman who says “Tawkey” and “The Big Perneeeeeee”  but Secret Agents are calling, Judy Comprez, the most dangerous person in the world and they have mounted a 24 hour a day hotline for anyone who knows this woman and can identify her from this tape where she tries to disguise her voice with farts.

“Her cape and boots in the Vonage commercial made us sick,” said special investigator Benjamin Switchy. “She stole that “big perneee” and she may have stolen that awful checkered cape and boots ensemble.  we believe that she is part of an international ring of people who have been smuggling Big Perneeee’s (Pernil) out of Puerto Rico and that’s why she needed to lower her calling bills.”

It’s hard to find anyone who hasn’t heard of Judy Comprez because of how famous she became doing that commercial, but what the average citizen does not know is that this woman is the world’s largest smuggler of pork shoulders in the world. 

“We had no idea that Ms. Comprez was wanted by the Special Investigation Task Force,” said a spokesman for Vonage. 

“She just kept sending us letters complaining about her Verizon bill so we asked her to switch to Vonage and to be inthe commercial.  We got suspicious when we figured out that the giant prop of shredded bills we had in the background of the commercial, were really all papers that Judy had shredded before we started filming.  We suspected she was up to no good but we had no idea she was an international Pernneeee smuggler.”

Anybody with any information is asked to contact TheDamienZone.com.  BY THE WAY — the word she says is PERNIL — PE roll the RRRRRRRRRR and then neeeeeeel—aaaaaa.  It makes us sick!

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