They might as well be holding up a sign proclaiming: GOD HATES PEOPLE WHO SHIT THEIR PANTS – because city officials refused to grant a port-o-potty permit to the members of the radical Westboro Baptist Church who arrived at the Edenton Street United Methodist Church in Raleigh, North Carolina to protest against the life and the death of Mrs. Edwards.
“We don’t want ’em here,” said a source close to the mayor. “Eventually they will have to pee or have a bowel movement so then they will have to leave. The best way to ensure that is to not allow that group to set up port-o-potties. I know from my own experience in law enforcement that you have to pee or poop eventually and these here protesters are no exception.”
According to a press release from the church, members of the Kansas-based congregation are planning to rally against Edwards for issues relating to her personal life deemed offensive by the church.
“We will evacuate our God-given bowels on the streets of Raleigh in service to our Lord,” said a Westboro member. “And the Lord God on high shall move the winds and he will waft my stench down upon those who have made a pact with Satan so that the rancid feces and foul excrement set upon me by the lord will serve as a reminder to those who turn their backs upon our God.”
The Westboro Baptist Church is known for its extremist opposition against homosexuals, Jews and other groups. Westboro members often hold protests at funerals for fallen U.S. service members, saying the war’s dead are God’s punishment for the country tolerating gays and lesbians. But in the case of Mrs. Edwards they have issued an edict defaming her life after the death of her son Wade in a 1996 car crash.
“When they were visited from the Most High God with the death of their 16-year-old son, they did not humble themselves before His mighty hand. They reared up in rage, decided they would show God who is boss, and meddled in matters of the womb, resulting in 2 more children — now motherless.
“The problem with these here people is that the national media gives them air time,” said Sheriff Andy Taylor. “Do you think that they would protesting against fags and lezzies if nobody paid attention to them?”
In the end, who suffers the most? Certainly not Elizabeth Edward’s. She is long past caring about such stupidity. Her children will grieve and eventually look upon their fine mom as a great American. Her ex-husband — well never mind him. But no, in the end the little children will suffer the most not only because they will have peed and pooped in their pants, but because they will have no chance to grow up like normal people. They are being mentally abused an it is the responsibility of the media to stop highlighting this dopey church. Maybe, just maybe, they will stop doing these crazy protests and the kids won’t grow up to be little Hitlers and Bin Laden’s.