First he told the press that Zsa Zsa was “near death” but she wasn’t. Then he called a press conference to tell the world that Zsa Zsa was getting the Last Rites of the Catholic Church. Then he announced to the press that he too had fallen ill and was bedridden alongside Zsa Zsa and that both of them were clinging to life.
Then — and try not to puke when you read this — he called TMZ to say that Zsa Zsa was rushed back to the hospital because she was “unresponsive.” She “responded” by coming home the next day.
Now Zsa Zsa is back home, snug as her last facelift, as if nothing happened. Despite her near-death status and the administration of the Last Rites – despite her husband’s own near-death nearness to his languishing wife — despite her re-rush to the hospital in a vegetative state — ZSA ZSA is STILL ALIVE!!!! Her survival notwithstanding, Prince Frederic von Anhalt (the scheming husband) had her already buried well sort of.
He had previoulsy announced that he wanted her body preserved for all the world to see — but she’s not fucking dead yet, asshole!
Von Anhalt has called TMZ so they can be present at his execution and according to sources close to the two Beverly Hills whores say that Zsa Zsa wants to go with him.
“We can’t charge her with a crime yet,” said Gerber Elshterstein, the prosecuting magistrate of Anhalt. “As much as we would like to see both of them dead as doornails, we have rules.
“We could have gotten him when he pulled that shit with Anna Nicole Smith’s baby, but we couldn’t afford to pay his airfare to Anhalt. Beverly Hills offered to pay the frieght but we can’t take charity. We are a humble country, but we kill people when they violate our laws. I mean, you don’t call TMZ when your wife is at death’s door, do you? “