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October 4, 2011 — Facebook is in the process of crashing.

You might be noticing things are vanishing from your Facebook screen.  Do not blame your PC — Facebook is doing too many things at once and currently it is in the process of crashing.  Just stay on and make it even harder for them to fix the mess they created.  There is something mentally wrong with Mark Zukerberg — he compulsively changes facebook and overlaods the system.  Maybe deep down he knows that his reign over facebook is ill-gotten and

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What is Mesothelioma and Why Is It Always On TV?

I got this letter in my mailbox.  I don’t know why this kid chose me, but I guess I will answer. Dear Damien.  I see so many commercials about mesothelioma.  What is it?   (Amanda L**** age 9, Halifax, Nova Scotia.) Hi, Amanda. Before the disease came to national prominence because of all the litigation (legal stuff) going on to compensate victims and their families, Mesothelioma was a disease that nobody ever heard of — but that was then and this

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Janeane Garafalo Is An Asshole – or – The Rise of the Misfit Gene in Human DNA.

“When I see the American flag, I go, ‘Oh, my god, you’re insulting me.’ That you can have a gay pride parade on Christopher Street in New York, with naked men and women on a float, cheering, ‘We’re here and we’re queer!’ – that’s what makes my heart swell. Not the flag, but a gay naked man or woman burning the flag. I get choked up with pride.”  [Janeane Garafalo]      Yes, she said the opening quote at the top

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Ricky Gervais Back on Twitter – who cares?

After having spent all of about 25 days on Twitter earlier in the year, Ricky Gervais quit the stupid thing and called it “undignified” for adults and suspecting that celebrities just seemed to be showing off by tweeting with their other famous friends. If he wanted to tell his celebrity buddies about what he ate for breakfast, he’d just text them, Gervais said.  In reality he has no celebrity friends and this is a just another desperate plea for attention from the unfunny,

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Is Robert Osborne Ever Coming Back To TCM?

First his celebrity guest hosts said that he was “taking a well-earned vacation” and that he would be back in the fall.  Well it’s almost October and stilll there is no sign of TCM’s great host Robert Osborne.   Tonight, a new guest commentator, a film archivist, was interviewed my film critic Leonard Maltin.  We expected Mr. Osborne to be back by now.  Tonight was a totally new segment and not seeing Osborne was strange indeed. Several weeks ago I published a

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Mark Zuckerberg Kills Helpless Animals With A Knife.

Recently, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg stated that he would no longer eat any meat unless he killed the animal himself.  So now, the stiff no-personality and socially awkward new face of Satan hasdone got himself a huntin’ license — YEE-HAW– and it seems that he recently brought down a bison.  During last week’s F8 (pronounced “fate”), which is Facebook’s annual summit, Zuckerberg showed off his Facebook page with an update about cooking bison burgers. That got people thinking: ‘Did the Facebook mogul actually

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Joshua Fattal and Shane Bauer — Two Misfit Assholes!

Joshua Fattal and Shane Bauer, the two adventuring New Yawkuhs who got themselves holed up in Iran for two years because they are, in my opinion,  attention-starved losers and child-minded douche-bags, are the perhaps the two biggest assholes on the earth at the present time.   The dopey dippy girl, Sarah something or other, who was also with them,  was released one year earlier because the Iranians  got tired of her whining voice.    The other two aforementioned nebbishes say that they were wandering around the peaceful regions of

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Heather Locklear — Plastic Surgery Birthday — Really 60-years-old?

Hollywood tabloid rags are running around talking about how young Heather Locklear looks for her age because today is her birthday — but she is not 50 like all the tabloids and websites claim — she is actually 60-years-old and she used to be a huncback in an orphanage. “Heather is 60 years old today because we were both borned (sic) in the same orphanage in Mustique, Alabama,” said Harlean Carp-Running Coon who now lives in Ruggles, New Mexico with her elderly foster mother on an

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