A website dedicated to human stupidity and dumbness

Across America

Gay Lover Falls From Roof. It Could Happen To You — just like Judy Holliday.

Remember back in the old days when the way to get maudlin attention at a funeral was to throw one’s self onto the casket and scream?  Remember that?  People probably still do it all the time, but the technology today has digitized these agonizing moments and taken them a step further — and just a teeny bit faker. Instead of throwing themselves on caskets and moaning to the heavens, “Take me, God!  Why don’t you take me,” people are throwing themselves

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Why I switched to Geico – A letter from a reader.

Recently a reader sent me a copy of a letter that he had sent to his car insurance company in New Jersey.  We’ve all seen the Geico gecko commercials, and the average person might think that Geico is some cheapo company, but actually, it’s been around since 1936 and it’s a very solid company.  Your solid as a rock insurance carrier might have you believe that Geico is a “fly by night” company — and while there certainly are “fly

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“I’m Christian, Unless You’re Gay” Facebook thing – FAKE! HOAX!

WRITER’S NOTE:  THE ESSAY PICTURED ON THE RIGHT IS MY FEEBLE ATTEMPT AT MOCKING THE ACTUAL LETTER WRITTEN BY THE “BRAVE GAY BOY” WHO DOESN’T REALLY EXIST!  IT’S HOW I IMAGINE THE ESSAY SHOULD LOOK. [Damien LeGallienne] Just when I was finally content with the knowledge that nothing could ever be as grotesquely maudlin as the white trash CB Radio trucker Christmas song about the “Poor Little Crippled Boy,”  god went and struck me down by bringing along something a

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Mega Millions Jackpot numbers lead to Violence and DEATH in New Jersey!

Flora Vawn Butlers, 88, was nearly butchered to death last night in Cherry Hill, New Jersey (USA) by  her best friend Velma Cruthers 82, when Cruthers noticed that a few of Flora’s Mega Millions lottery tickets had some numbers that matched the numbers on her tickets.  She was so enraged that she picked up a meat cleaver and started hacking away at her friend until Flora’s sceams alerted a neighbor who burst into the home and restrained the attacker. “She stole my numbers

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Jet Blue Pilot Had Alien Chip In His Head.

Jet Blue Pilot Had Alien Chip In His Head. He went nuts on a Jet Blue flight and had to be restrained by passengers.  He ranted and raved about terrorists and the plane being “taken down.”  The plane he was supposed to be piloting had to make an emergency landing in Amarillo, Texas.  The co-pilot had to lock him out of the cockpit because he had a meltdown….but did he really? Did the Jet Blue pilot who lit up the news yesterday really

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Geraldo Blames Hoodies – He is about 10% Right in the Trayvon case

Regarding the death of Trayvon Martin and the whole Geraldo hoodie thing — lemme say this about that: The old saying, “If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck,” no longer applies. I personally do not agree with Geraldo because I think that Zimmerman was looking for “action” but these days, the nicest kids you could ever want to know dress like they stepped out of Attica, and if even if they’re on their way home from

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How to make a Billion dollars off of Marilyn Monroe’s dead body.

Wanna make a half a billion dollars? First, get a Doctor of Divinity Degree online.  It’s better to also get a PhD in anthropology too, but who has the time for that? Okay, then create your own church and declare Marilyn Monroe a prophet in your church. Then buy the rites to Marilyn Monroe’s remains, $2 million oughta do it because the current people who have the rights to her “image” are money hungry scum bags. Then, exhume whatever is left of

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Facebook story: Woman Complains About Sitting Next to Black man on airplane — HOAX! FAKE! NEVER HAPPENED!

Still another fake story floating around Facebook — something that NEVER happened and is a complete lie and a hoax and whatever else you want to call the retarded shit people  post on Facebook. They live only to “share”  their maudlin and silly crap. The fake story is accompanied by the photo of a flight attendant standing in the aisle of a jetliner — it’s just a stock photo that somebody STOLE to invent a fake story that seems inspirational when in

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