A website dedicated to human stupidity and dumbness

Facebook Story about Rose – 87-Year-Old Lady in College — FAKE. HOAX.

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An 87 Year Old College Student Named Rose – A FAKE STORY SPREAD BY FACEBOOK MORONS.

Below Dr. Sherwood’s commentary is the story as it is being spread on Facebook about an old lady who goes to college — it is 100% fake.  The photo was staged and the story is FAKE.  Don’t be a facebook moron and SHARE this stupid stuff before you read Dr. Sherwood’s comments.  There is a name for people who share stuff like this,  and if you don’t believe me, read what famed psychologist Dr. Tootsie Sherwood MD PhD, had to say about these kinds of things.

“A very large percentage of people on Facbook are very unintelligent, and to them, Facebook is simply a very basic toy with which they can pass the uninspiring time that goes by so slowly in those of limited mind.  

I would compare these Facebook story-sharing people to toddlers who play with blocks or pots and pans.   The difference — for the purposes of this analogy — is that the child’s mind is developing and growing, but these unintelligent people of Facebook are quite the opposite.  They are sinking deeper into the mindless chambers of the limited brain that leads them to certain aspects of Facebook in the first place.  It’s a form of basket weaving or needlepoint.

In psychology, there are three ranges of mental limitation which in the English language are now used as insults to describe someone who is deemed to be either unintelligent, or silly or mindless.  These words are:  IDIOT, IMBECILE and MORON. 

Although these words are now thought of as funny or perhaps even politically incorrect, they are real scientific terms which were coined by French psychologist Alfred Binet in 1916, and they were once used to describe the mental limitations of some people.  Today these “labels” are looked upon as unkind, but don’t be fooled.  The work done by Alfred Binet has never been discredited. 

According to Binet, the IDIOT is the most damaged, and is bascially unable to think beyond the level of a baby.  The IQ of a person who has the psycholgical designation of being an idiot –according to the Binet scale —  is somewhere in 0-25 range.  The IMBECILE is somewhat less feeble of mind.  The IQ of an imbecile is averaged to be 26-50.  The MORON, however, while certainly limited and extremely unntelligent, falls into an IQ area of about 51-70.  Morons function well in society and they account for a lot of your basic laborers and housekeepers and housewives and gardeners. 

The moron loves popular culture but he doesn’t truly understand it for what it is.  He is simply entertained by shows like Modern Family and The newest avenue that has opened up new worlds for the moron is Facebook. 

With Facebook, the functional moron can flex what little intellect he has, and in doing so, Facebook becomes a sort of child’s toy.  Morons seem to enjoy inspirational topics; especially ones where good triumphs over evil.  They love to find hope and enrichment in quotes they find to be inspiring and profound even if the quotes or stories are fake or forged or invented.  Naturally, the things morons like so much are seen as childish and simple to people of normal intelligence.  To the moron, however, the world of Facebook elevates him to a social level where he can function like an intellectual simply because he eventually seeks out his own kind.  With these new cyber friends he is the intellectual equal.  He has found a world where he belongs.  It’s actually rather touching to watch, but be that as it may, the subject at hand is the Facebook sharing of the moron and how he is the deciding force that keeps Facebook churning and chugging along.   They are the “Morons Who Share” and we have studied them extensively.” [Tootsie Sherwood, MD. PhD]

 

Okay here is the fake story.

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn’t already know.
I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned round to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me
with a smile that lit up her entire being.
She said, “Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I’m eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?”
I laughed and enthusiastically responded, “Of course you may!” and she gave me a giant squeeze.
“Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?” I asked.
She jokingly replied, “I’m here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids…”
“No seriously,” I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.
“I always dreamed of having a college education and now I’m getting one!” she told me.
After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake.We became instant friends. Every day for the
next three months, we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this “time machine”
as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.
Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and
she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.
At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I’ll never forget what she taught us. She was
introduced and stepped up to the podium.
As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, “I’m sorry I’m so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I’ll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell
you what I know.”
As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, “We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop
playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day.
You’ve got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.
We have so many people walking around who are dead and don’t even know it!There is a huge difference between growing
older and growing up.
If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don’t do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old.
If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight.
Anybody can grow older. That doesn’t take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change.
Have no regrets.
The elderly usually don’t have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those
with regrets.”
She concluded her speech by courageously singing “The Rose.”
She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives.
At the year’s end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation Rose died
peacefully in her sleep.  GOOD!  SHE SHOULD HAVE STAYED THE FUCK HOME AND MADE COOKIES?

Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it’s
never too late to be all you can possibly be .When you finish reading this, please send this peaceful word of advice to your friends and family, they’ll really enjoy it!   <– THIS NEVER HAPPENED!  JESUS H. CHRIST!  WHEN WILL YOU FUCKING PEOPLE LEARN!!!!

These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE — a fake person.

REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS
OPTIONAL and pssing along fake stories is what morons do.

We make a Living by what we get, We make a Life by what we give — and we spread Facebook stuff that is fake because we are morons.

14 Comments
  1. Fake or not it was a great story! As you u fuckin mope, u must not ever get laid huh? To much time spent bent out of shape over something that is trying to male a great point… you really should kill yourself! E don’t meed assholes like you in our world!

  2. That was a very well-written response, Brian. You must be some kind of professor or something. And yes, I am “off my meds” “I live in my mother’s basement” “I am pathetic” “I never get laid” “I need to get a life” — and all the other patented stuff people who comment like to say when they are simple-minded. Listen, Brian. The story is fake. The photo is fake. It does indeed matter if the story was “fake or not” because it is presented as real. If you read the medical opinion which preceeded the story — the one from Dr. Sherwood — you might realize that you are one of the people included in the doctor’s opinions. Yes, Brian, you are a facebook Moron.

  3. The story may be fake etc, but your story about Dr Tootsie Sherwood also appears to be fake (a search reveals no-one by this name). Please supply some link to this author. Thanks

  4. Names are often changed slightly for the sake of privacy. You ask, “Please supply link to this author?” Huh? Do you think I’m going to let you bother somebody who lets me in on information like that?

  5. While I don’t agree with the level of hostility taken against people who blindly share these awful posts without using any brain power to research them… I do share the frustration.

    One thing to note however is that this photo was NOT staged… but the story of Rose is wrong. The photo is of Nola Ochs, an American college graduate. On May 14, 2007 she became a Guinness World Record holder as the world’s oldest college graduate when she received her diploma at Fort Hays State University in Hays, Kansas. Don’t believe me, search for her image and story.

  6. people just dont see the funny side of things eh! i can see humour from at least four angles here!

    ps 4th to last sentece is a typo quote “He hs found a world where he”
    probably should’ve read “HAS”

    kindest regards

    shaneo

  7. The story is actually true except for one part – she didn’t die peacefully in her sleep, it was actually a spectacular and horrific car accident that involved an articulated lorry, a ferrari a 50 person marching band and a hot air balloon.

  8. I agree it shouldn’t been presented as truth. And this Dr. You say gives you insight….He doesn’t sound professional at all. What kind of professional talks like that? As far as not supplying a link to the article or wherever you got that. That kind of looks suspicious anyway. If he said all of that he should be a man and own up to his words. I do think it was in bad taste to deface of the pic. Hard to take this serious when it looks like someone just raged too hard.

  9. The doctor was very angry and very blunt. The pic is defaced to protect the inncocent bystander who got caught up in the moronic moment.

  10. Awesome — hope she suffered.

  11. How do we know this is a fake story? As I usually do when things like this get posted on Facebook, I searched the web to see if anyone had verified whether this was real or not, which is how I ended up here. Snopes says its authenticity is undetermined.

  12. Well, WorknMan, we know for certain that the photo is fake — or at least as far as the person being depicted is concerned — because the woman in the photo is another person entirely. If you do a Google Image search you will find out her true identity. Also, the story has had several incarnations over the years. In one story she is named Rose and in another she is named Hazel etc., and the name of the school is always different — you know the drill. Variations on a story are always a sure sign that it’s not true. This is how detectives catch the bad guys in the interrogation room — their story keeps changing. Then there is the what I call the “Maudlin Angle.” If something sounds fake, it usually is. This might sound like a cop-out but I have another reason for knowing that this story – in the incarnation I presented — is totally fake. Anyway, the fact that the photo is fake is really all you need to know — the rest is just a merlot reduction boiled down to various levels of fakeness. Has an 87 year old woman ever gone to college and inspired someone? Uh….maybe, but this one is a total fable. Normally I ignore fables, but when they cross that line into Maudlin-Land, I have to rip it up. The maudlin human is about as stupid and dumb as they come and you must remember that the purpose of this blog is to expose human stupidity and dumbness.
    Thank you for your interesting and intelligent question — very rare to get one like that.
    Damien LeGallienne — Writer/Editor.

  13. Wow, your source seriously said that laborers, house keepers, housewives, and gardeners are morons? He must be one advanced and modernized doctor who totally understands things like Facebook and the people that use it… not.

    Your source says that people that divulge in passing stories like these around are “unintelligent” and are “Morons that Share”… what about you? Is wasting time being a depressing fuck any better? You go around and look for stories that some get a simple smile from and spend your time getting “sources” to comment on them, to make YOU seem like an “intellectual equal”, and writing half-assed articles about them. You are no better, seriously.

    The only reason I even came across this absurd article is because I, too, received the email with the story in it and did a simple Google search of “old woman rose graduates college”, and this sorry excuse of writing came up. I don’t normally make comments, but when the hypocrisy is undeniable, I feel it’s necessary.

    Good luck with all that, and look in the mirror before you go calling people morons… especially laborers, house keepers, housewives, and gardeners.

  14. Megan — you summed it up when you said “simple smile” — I am CERTAIN that your smile must look very simple. Hey, if simple is your style, own it! Throw a little glitter on it or something.

    Damien LeGallienne

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