A website dedicated to human stupidity and dumbness

How to make a Billion dollars off of Marilyn Monroe’s dead body.

Wanna make a half a billion dollars?

First, get a Doctor of Divinity Degree online.  It’s better to also get a PhD in anthropology too, but who has the time for that?

Okay, then create your own church and declare Marilyn Monroe a prophet in your church.

Then buy the rites to Marilyn Monroe’s remains, $2 million oughta do it because the current people who have the rights to her “image” are money hungry scum bags.

Then, exhume whatever is left of Marilyn Monroe and take them in a glass case on display around the world (especially Japan) — museums, exhibits, shows, conventions — make sure the remains can’t be photographed — lighting experts know how to do this.

In 3 years you will make about $500 million — and that’s not counting tangential monies that come from TV spots and books and whatever.

Don’t let anyone tell you that this is “wrong” because there is a “science” called Egyptology, and in that science they routinely do exactly what I have just described to you.  The funny thing is that they have taken King Tut on many tours of the world where they’ve made an absurd fortune with his mummified remians.  While doing this the Tut experts proclaim “how happy they are that they got to King Tut before the ‘grave robbers’ got him’ — but the experts for some reason are NOT graverobbers. Ofc ourse they’re grave robbers, but they know how to present themselves as men of science and learning.

So, think of yourself as a Hollywood-ology anthropologist and do the same thing.  You need at least $2million to get started, but the return on your investment will be amazing.

2 Comments
  1. First off, Why in the hell is her plot the only one thats nt being taken care of. Second who would take someones body out of their final resting area without having a guilty heart! Marilyn was so iconic, her words and wisdom led women everywhere to believe they meant more,that they could be more. I pray that she has her revenge on whoever allowed this and whoever did this to her body. If Marilyn did indeed overdose it was to get away from the celebrity lifestyle, to be away from the media. Her suicide went in veign! Even in death you people cant let this iconic beautiful women lay to rest. Is her memory not enough to feed the obsession? Can people not just simply enjoy the memories she has left us with? Taking her body was wrong! She would not of wanted this and you people are sick and discusting for doing what you have done. I hope you reep what you have sawn! R.I.P Marilyn! Your body may not be at rest but I pray your soul is, you will forever be missed!

  2. Jennifer, Her cryot is well maintained but it looks sloppy from years and years years of lipstick imprints left there by millions of fans. The marble is stained forever.

    Anyway, it’s all just like the guys in Egypt who dig up the mummies and sell them for billions and they do it on The Discovery Channel — then they have the balls to say. “Thank god we got them before the graverobbers got them” — but they themselves are the graverobbers.

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