Atheists throughout the world, skinny stupid misfits who don’t even watch sports of any kind, are infuriated by the attention quarterback Tim Tebow is getting for kneeling prayer before during and after games. There is even a word for praying on the field — it’s called “Tebowing.”
“He has no right to expose the American public to his moronic expressions of love for a big being in the sky,” said unemployed and in collections extreme Atheist, Casey Q. Dunroven from his squalid apartment in the Los Angeles area.
“I am a huge football fan, continued Dunroven — “and I am offended by this. When I watch a football game, I do not need to see Tebow kneeling in stupid prayer. I am going to sue the NFL and start an occupy Denver Broncos Stadium until they pass a law in Denver that separates Church and Football. I will not stop and I plan to boycott Doritos and any product that puts on a commercial during a game where Tebow kneels before his fake entity.”
Tim Tebow is a guy who believes in GOD and it’s driving the Atheists WILD! They can’t stand it!
“If you watched “The Daily Show” you would have seen the kind of hateful and godless look on John Stewart’s face when Bono continued to praise former US President George W. Bush and his war on AIDS despite Stewart’s attempts to stop him,” said Dr. Helene Gamuccio of the Center For Atheism Recovery in Dothan, Alabama.
“Atheists hate Tebow but it shouldn’t matter to them because the average Atheist knows nothing about sports or team spirit. As a rule they are people who were never included in these activities as a child because they were justifiably dismissed as misfits and outsiders. They have made Tebow their new object of hatred because they have to hate — that is the nature of the godless person.”
A bunch of Atheists calling themselves, “TEBOW NEEDS SCIENCE” has agreed to picket at all Bronco games and they also promise to boycott all TV sponsors. We asked Dunroven what his group hopes to accomplish.
“We want to show the world that if there was a god there would be no need to compete in sports and especially football. We know that African Americans who are a huge part of the athletic world have been enslaved by the white man’s god and this must stop. We also know that gays have been excluded from football and this is because the players stomp on gays in the name of a god who does not exist.”
Editors note: Casey Q. Dunroven is a self-proclaimed extreme Atheist. We don’t know what differentiates an extreme atheist from a regular atheist, but when we find out, we will give Dunroven a chance to explain because as of yet he does not know either.