Rumours are flying around that Casey Anthony, the oddly-breasted Mother-Of-The-Year, has had a breast reduction so as to make her less recognizable because she might be hiding in plain sight, according to people who know these kinds of things. But the strangest theory so far is that the breast reduction may be just one part of a plan to transform Casey Anthony into a man!
“I heard that she was going to work on a logging farm in Montana,” said Dr. Joy Nehi, who runs the Beverly Hills Plastic Surgery For Convicted And Non Convicted Criminals in West Hollywood, California, USA.
“She would need a breast reduction for that but then there is the angle that she might have a complete breast removal and become a man. I have heard from other doctors that she is going to change her name to Anthony Anthony. If she started testosterone hormone therapy and got her haircut, she would need to hide out for no longer than 8 months. She would look like a dude by then and nobody would recognize her. I do not think, however, that the name Anthony Anthony would be a good idea.”
It’s obvious from all those party-while-Caylee-decays photos that Casey likes to make out with women so maybe her problem all along has been a sexual identity crisis. We asked an expert.
“It’s quite possible that Casey Anthony detested the child because she really hates her vagina,” said Dr. Arr Carcoa, a Finnish psychologist who specializes in crimes committed by transsexuals.
“She is still very young and still exploring her sexuality. No amount of duct tape or chloroform can make a person love themselves. If she is indeed a transexual, and a lot of evidence points to at least lesbianism, she has an easy out. She can start hormone therapy and get a few plastic surgeries. In less than a year she could be fully functional as a man as far as outward appearances go.
“The only downside for casey would be that she’d have to kill other people’s kids and one usually gets convicted for that — unless she opted to keep her uterus and ovaries like that freak who became a pregnant man and then had a baby. But he was not really a trannsexual. He was a mutilated woman — and there is a difference — and I am a doctor who is qualified to paint things with a broad brush.”
So, maybe Casey Anthony is going to get a penoplasty and then buy up some plaid shirts and become a logger. She deserves a great life because she is a great person and a great mother.