Yeah, it was cool when they first snagged him on the side of the highway and he shot to fame, but now that we are seeing more and more of him, he is starting to get on people’s nerves.
“He cries like a drug addict and he talks too much,” said Tessy Zeccal of Ellsworth, New Hampshire, a known nasty old lady and the local atheist in her deeply Methodist town.
“You can see that he’s a little screwed up in his head and, hey, he has ignored his seven children for almost 25 years. Why are they making a hero out of him justbecause he sounds like a radio announcer? If I was one of his kids, I would tell him to go fuck himelf.”
Granted, Tessy Zeccal is not a nice person, but a lot of really nice people are even getting in on the “getting tired of Ted Williams” bandwagon, and the man with the golden radio voice has to answer to some hard questions.
“There are thousands of very talented radio announcers in the world but they are making a hero out of this guy because he was a homeless drug addict and a robber and an absentee father,” said Sister Lyn Amboy of the Perth Amboy, New Jersey sisters of Saint Marcus.
“I believe that you forgive, but enough already. There are radio guys out of work who have been good and upstanding citizens. What’s with all this redemption baloney. I might be a nun, but even a deaf dumb and blind retard can see that all this hoopla is annoying. I am glad that I am a good and loving nun and not some sucker falling for this guy’s line of bullshit.”
Seems like America is getting sick of the homeless golden voice just as quickly as it became entranced by it, and the US Government has hired singer Susan Boyle as a Special Ambassador To Weird People Who Become Famous Because They Have A Talent Even Though They Are Nutty And Weird Looking.
“He was rambling on the Today Show with Matt Lauer, I dare say,” said a spokesman for Ambassador Boyle. “He was crying and thanking god, but being careful not to say Jesus or any particular god — almost as though he rehearsed what he would say in a religious sense that would not offend American sensibilities. For one, I think he’s a bloody criminal and he should be put back out on that highway round-about. Why did he visit Matt Lauer before he visited that 92-year-old mother of his who he likes to bloody sob about? She probably told him to sod off.”
Oh you Americans! You are so cynical — good for you!
