North Korea, the country with no electric lights, and run by the lumpy and frumpy heir Kim Jong Un, its supreme leader, annnounced at a huge rally on Thursday in Pyongyang that after nearly two years of national mourning for his father, the completion of a pec implant surgery and various other plastic surgeries on the young leader had been completed.
Korean surgeons, working by the diesel engine generated light that they can afford in the evening, worked feverishly to enlarge the younger Kim Jong’s pectoral and biceps muscles with silicone pec implants.
“The process mimics what he might have attained naturally had he worked out at a bench press for 18 months,” said a surgeon ho refused to be identified. “He is naturally very non-muscular and what one would call ‘flabby’ so he might not have achieved any pec enhancement even with vigorous work outs. This was his best option. He now looks like a plump guy who works out.”
“My father wrote six operas but he had no muscular definition,” said the Kim Jong Un from his recovery room. “I am not trying to be even better than my father, but I wish the people of North Korea to have a leader with a Herculean body. I sent a barber to Harlem to learn how to cut hair there and that is how I get my haircut and I was amazed at how cool the African Americans look. Now I am bigger than any bro in the evil USA. I will still buy hair product from the USA, but that is not a sign that I am weak.”
It is true that Kim JungUn sent Ki Park, a Korean hair stylist, to the USA to study hair cutting at a Harlem beauty salon. After the barber had mastered the various cuts there, he was sent to Brooklyn where he mastered the “Brooklyn Fade” or “The Taper” which is so popular with the “Jersey Shore” Guido crowd.
A crowd of tens of thousands, most of them uniformed soldiers, packed the plaza to see the newly big chested leader exit the hospital before he was whisked away to his home. He did manage to walk slowly with his limousine to show his strength, but after about 50 tards he was too weary and had to get in the car and be driven the rest of the way.
Doctor’s are preparing a second operation to shrink Kim Jong Un’s huge round face and liposuction and facial contouring are planned for early June. This surgery will be performed in China. He is also planning a lip enhancement and eyelid surgery to make him look less Asian. Many American Asians have this surgery and it seems to create a very exoctic look when done correctly.
“If we shrink his face, it will make his enhanced pecs and biceps even larger,” said a surgeon who was released from prison to aid in the surgical alterations of the new leader.
2 thoughts on “Korea’s Kim Jong Un Gets Pec Implant Operation and “Brooklyn Fade” Haircut.”
Haha! That’s great. I’m tempted to post this on facebook to see how many stupid Facebook friends I have sharing it.