Does Chaz Bono Have A Penis On Dancing With The Stars?

SIDE NOTE: “After his new gig on Dancing With The Stars, Chaz Bono will play the part of Roseanne Barr’s husband in a new TV series, “Roseanne, The Later Years After My Daughter Became A Lesbian And My Husband Turned Out To Be A Female-To-Male Transexual.”   The part was originated by John Goodman and Chaz has done a good job of looking like Goodman — except Chaz is 100 pounds heavier. The show will air in September on ABC Family after Melissa and Joey.”  [Erin Spelling, Executive Producer.]

Now that the Santa Monica County Courthouse has officially designated Chaz Bono as a man and he is going to be guest dancer on Dancing With The Stars, wanted to ask a few questions about Chaz and the transsexual procedure and — who will he dance with?

We asked an expert on Dancing with the Stars, Dr. Dean Traherne, a gynecologist and dance instructor from the University of California School of Transgendered Medical studies.

THE DAMIEN ZONE — What are some of the limitations that a transsexual would have when going through the grueling rehearsals of a TV show like Dancing With The Stars?

DR. TRAHERNE — Chaz is going to have a few problems since reports alleged that he is coming in at about 360 pounds.  That’s a lot of weight and the testosterone shots he requires to keep him looking like a man — even though he looked like a beefy man for his whole life — will only make weight loss more difficult.  I hope that Chaz has had a full medical work-up prior to doing any heavy dancing — so to speak.

THE DAMIEN ZONE — Do you think now that Chaz is a full blown man according to the court’s papers and documents, that part of a physical examination would include turning his head and coughing while a doctor holds his testicles?

DR. TRAHERNE — I am not sure if Chaz has had the full works yet.  In other words, I am not sure that he has had a penis construction.  Obviously there would be no reason for balls — I mean, testicles —  if he hadn’t yet had a penis constructed.  Testicles with no penis would look pretty silly and why would you want your balls — I mean, testicles — to get all sweaty and itchy while you are dancing at that weight?  My best guess is that Chaz will wait until after he is eliminated from the show or perhaps wins,  until he gets a penis construction and a testicular prosthesis.  Also you have to take into account that it would be hard to find a doctor to hold Chaz’s balls — I mean testicles — for any reason.

THE DAMIEN ZONE — How do they make a new penis?

DR. TRAHERNE — It’s a pain in the neck and it looks terrible but the basic idea is that they grow some skin under the patients arm with a subcutaneous balloon implant and then after it’s big enough they cut it out to make a tube.  The tube is then filled with fat and and a hydraulic lift that gets big and hard when the patient squeezes a bulb in their balls — I mean, testicles.  The whole thing is a horror show and I advise my female to male transsexual patients to just buy a few nice suits from Joseph A. Bank and buy a strap on. 

THE DAMIEN ZONE — What other problems do you think that  Chaz will encounter on Dancing With The Stars.

DR. TRAHERNE — I think that the biggest problem will be his weight.  I have heard from my sources that the stage crew is reinforcing the stage to make it able to handle 400 pounds of swinging female-to-male transsexual fat.  That is going to be a mess — as will vaginal odor and irritation.


12 thoughts on “Does Chaz Bono Have A Penis On Dancing With The Stars?

  1. Why is Chaz Bono referring to herself as a man if she not have a penis? The main difference between a woman and a man is ‘penis’. No penis, no man. Sorry Chaz. Nice try!

  2. Score a major BINGO for toniOO, but respectfully, I have to say that there are men who have no penises who are indeed men ( war injuries, cancer, etc) — the problem with Chaz Bono lies not in what she is not packing in her jeans but what she IS packing in her GENES — a female chromosome. Gentically she is a female and will always be a female — we live in a sicko society Toni00

    Thank you Toni —

  3. I find it inexcusable that “Dr. Traherne” kept saying balls, then correcting him/herself by saying testicles. There is no reason for this repeated wording.
    Chaz has gone through the courts..has proclaimed ‘himself’ to be a male, & the courts have granted this. As for Dr. Traherne to say it’s a pain in the neck to create a penis…too bloody bad!!!! You can be rest assured these Drs who performed the rest of the sexual assignment were paid very handsomely, so more work to create a penis is part of the process.
    It is said it’s ‘easier to create a female” Again when they’re paid well to do the surgery, they should shut up about certain aspects of it.
    There are more important things in the world that requires more attention, other than Chaz Bono’s sexual reassignment.

  4. Dear Silver,
    I found Dr. Traherne to be very annoying too when I interviewed him. I thought he was aloof and lacking in warmth. It may have been the recent death of his daughter Judith Traherne that has made him bitter and uncaring. I would pass the link to this story along to your friends on Facebook or any other way so that people have a better understanding of what people like Chaz have to endure from even their doctors.

    Thank you
    Damien —

  5. Can’t you guys/ladies, or whatever, just quit with your negative remarks about Chaz. If you would read his book, “Transition” you might understand all the problems he faced growing up as a transgender and not being able to deal with it. So what if he doesn’t have a penis – that is his business, and I’m sure you have some hidden secrets that you wouldn’t like the world to know about. Your not perfect. Try reading his book – it was excellent, and I don’t think it matters whether Chaz has a penis or not – you are all just being nosey, instead of being happy for him.

  6. When a person in the public eye has a sex change what do you expect will happen? People are curious and young transsexually directed teens are even more curious. Did it ever occur to you that there are teenagers out there who want to know the answers to questions like this? Chaz Bono did not have TheDamienZone when she was a teen so she didn’t learn about the ins and outs or transsexualism. Yes, this website tells the story in a cheeky way, but maybe that’s how some people want to hear this kind of stuff. And…Please learn the difference between, “there” “they’re” and “their” — these kinds of basic mistakes distract me from taking your comment seriously.


  7. What is the world coming to? I’m sorry but this whole sex change thing is very disgusting to me. I mean my god if this keeps happening single people may never know if they are dating a man or a woman. This is just my opinion so curse me out all you want but I really am trying to keep an open mind about this. I just feel like if Chasity was a lesbian it would of made alot more sense to just start dating women. I think most people could of handled that alot more than this whole sex change thing. I’m sorry chasity to me you will always be a lesbian woman period………….

  8. What’s even worse, Just Me, is that she counsels children who show developing sexual ambiguity. She imagines herself to be some kind of transsexual crusader for the little children who she perhpas imagines will end up in some asexual Limbo without her massive amounts of imaginary knowledge.

    Maybe a kid who likes to wear dresses is not a transsexual — as a matter of fact, I would wager that less that 1% of tomboys and feminine boys are transsexuals. They might just be homosexual and they do not need that pedantic, self-abdorbed, Chaz Bono talking to them about her whiskers — it’s truly sick.

    I run the risk of sounding mean and intolerant but let me clarify. I am 100% behind any adult who wants to change their sex, if of course they have had the proper psychological therapy. What I loathe, however, is people who try to indoctrinate children — and the kooky parents of those children who help to promote this.

    Maybe the parents of the “tomboy” and the “sissy” should be getting the mental help and not the child.

    These are the VERY SAME people who lash out against he doctors and surgeons from the late 1950s and early 1960s who “assigned” a sex to a baby born with ambiguous gentalia. These people are called “intersexed” and they have a beef with doctors who were trying to help the child surgically with the technology available at the time — sure they made a lot of mistakes (they got it wrong about 50% of the time) but it was not done out of malice or a political agenda or anti-gay hatred. If you are born with a penis the size of a speck of sand and a thing that looked like a vagina — what was a doctor supposed to do? He declared the child to be female and instructed the parents to raise th child as female. Puberty was induced with female hormones — the opposite applied to those determined to be male. I should mention that these intersexed people are not transexuals per se, but they have the same kind of activist mindset. Had the doctors done nothing and let them grow up as circuc freaks they would still be complaining.

    I would like to support Chaz Bono 100% but she thinks that this transsexual crusade is a thing that should be taught in pre-school — truly sick — and you KNOW — you totally KNOW that Cher is hip to this and does not like it.

    I doubt that Chaz would have done this if her father were alive. She seems to lean on the father’s second family more than she does on Cher. I repeat, I am 100% supportive of all transsexuals and the science behind transsexualism, and I would do anything to help a friend with sexual identity issues, but it becomes a great deal more than just support and friendship when children are dragged in — when you do that, it becomes a psychotic crusade.


  9. well i found out that Chaz Bono is close to becoming a man. Well you may ask how do i know huh?? Well i heard him/her fart and him/her farts louder than myself an i am a guy. I know as far as life experiences that only guys have been able to fart louder than myself… I mean what do you expect for 360 lbs of lean mean dancing machine Chaz Boner

  10. As is said that hte human chromosomes os a transgender remain the sex they are born with. In this case this person will always be Chasidy. I know the mental struggles that Chasity has had to deal with must be overwhelming or she would not have gone to such great lengths to satisy the mental urge as a Lesbian to want to be a man. She probably will not live a full life and her life may end early due to the mental and physical issues she will always have. She is such a bad example to mankind and our children. She may be another Michael Jackson and just fade away. She does not trust in God to handle this mental problem so I can olyl say God bless HER mortal soul.

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