Ricky Gervais, Female To Male Transexual Surgery Completed.

British Comic Ricky Gervais is sailing through his female to male transsexual surgery and hormone therapy.  This week the former Rachel Gervais, a Home Economics major at Miss Fern School For Girls,  will be the fully functional man we already call, Ricky Gervais — complete with a tubular penis that can achieve a 4-inch erection with the help of a pinball-sized  electrical pump that has been implanted in his pelvis.


“We expanded the skin on Ricky’s arm with a subcutaneous balloon.  After a few months, enough skin had grown so that we could remove that skin and fashion a penis,” said  Dr. Howard Ling of the Ling Institute for Gender Reassignment.

“”The best part was that a large blue vein had grown along the surface of the new skin.  When we fashion the artificial penis, this vein will bulge out and make the penis look more realistic.  He will have a nice thick vein running through it.  Things couldn’t have gone better.  The only glitch was that Ricky had very small vulvas.  we use that to fashion a scrotum, but the vulvae were too small to make a good, low-hanging scrotum.   We had to settle for a small scrotum but the whole thing is so freaky anyway that a small pair of balls isn’t really going to be a tragedy.”

Rachel Gervais is now officially Ricky Gervais and if you look close you can even see a very slight bulge in his pants.  the only problem is that even hormone therapy has not helped the womanly look to Ricky’s face. 

“It wouldn’t be a problem if it were a pretty face,” said Dr. Ling.  “A man with a pretty face can do a lot of things — a little facial hair and the right hair cut and you’ve got yourself a really goodlooking guy.  But Ricky was kind of a dog when he was Rachel, and despite all the hormones, he still looks like that ugly girl from England who couldn’t get a date for the prom.  It’s really upsetting to me as a phyisican because I have done so much, but you can’t make an ugly girl into a presentable man,especially when the man still looks like that homely girl.  I don’t know.  I guess we’ll try something and see what happens.”

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