Muammar Abu Minyar al-Gaddafi (or however you wanna spell it) is all set to leave Libya, but fashion designer Bob Mackie has been holding him up for weeks.
According to sources close to the great leader who has made Libya a shining beacon of truth and justice, Bob Mackie was supposed to design his robes and gowns for when he leaves the country for Paris just in time for “les défilés de mode printaniers.” — the crazy high fashion thing they do every year.
Gaddafi issued this statement on Libyan TV between episodes of Who’s The Boss – which is much funnier when dubbed in Arabic because they say really nasty things about Danny Pintauro that aren’t in the original script.
“Mackie has dresses ready for Cher to wear in five minutes so that sixty-year-old sack of shit can look good on some stupid American TV show, but he can’t run my shit through a sewing machine so I can get the fuck outta this country before they kill me? If I find out he’s making something for Carol Burnett before he makes my satin swimming pool wrap-around, I’ll have him shot.”
What a shame that this wonderful man has to leave his country. It’s so sad to see, and it would be even sadder were he to leave wearing some old thing he had hanging around.
“I’m sewing as fast as I can,” said a harried Bob Mackie. “But this big queen is expecting way too much from me. I mean, gimme a break already. She’s well over six feet tall and those hips and shoulders are driving me batty. I mean, if this was Bea Arthur or Barbara Stanwyck I could understand, but Gadaffi — she’s a mess, honey, and I’m sewing as fast as I can so leave me the hell alone.”
