Ward Churchill — University of Colorado at Walmart.

Ward Churchill, the alleged American Indian who got kicked out of The University of Colorado for all kinds of stuff,  gets his eyes examined at Walmart but then yells at the optometrist check-out girl for being part of the “corrupt system of American big business”–what an asshole!

His biography says that he is an American writer and political activist.and thet he was a professor of ethnic studies  at the University of Colorado at Boulder from 1990 to 2007. The primary focus of his work is on the historical treatment of political dissenters by the United States government.  When he isn’t plagiarizing somebody else, his work features controversial and provocative claims, written in a direct, often confrontational and poorly written style.

He also wears glasses and he buys them at Walmart — OMG!

“He has selective vision,” said a source close to the Walmart Optometry kiosk. 

“Sometimes he is 20/20 but most times he sees things that aren’t real — like his American Indian ancestry is totally an optical illusion.  I mean, anybody can dress up like Willie Nelson, throw back a few beers and hang up a dream catcher, but this guy has astigmatism of the brain.”

Churchill has for years shown nothing but disdain for the American way of life, but what could be more American than going on down to the local WalMart and getting a new set of glasses for less than half of what the small town optometrist gets at the mom and pop store?

“Dude he is like so blind but yet he is so in touch and he can see all the injustices of Walmart,”  said a pothead drop-out who was hopped up on horse and smack close to the source at the optometry kiosk. 

“Like, dude, he is like so in tune with the Indian spirits and shit that he shops at Walmart to even out the balances of wolf power and owl power.  It’s totally cosmic and it can blow your mind.”

Walmart refuses to comment on Ward Churchill’s eye-wear except to say that he most likely  gets his glasses at Walmart because it is next door to the craft store where he buys the assorted things he needs to make dream catchers and pictures of wolves on dark blue velvet. 

Walmarters agree that he is a nice enough guy but he chews out the Spanish girl behind the register when she forgets to give him his package of complimentary eyeglass wipes with each new purchase. 

“He accuses her of intentionally trying to deprive him of his rights as a Native American,” said the pothead drop-out.   “Shit, most poeple think he is not a native American.  Whatever he is, he can be a real jerk-off sometimes — at least it seems like that but he’s cool sometimes.”

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