Doctors fear: “Lady Gaga is a hermaphrodite and a soul stealer.”

“Lady Gaga Stole My Daughter’s Soul”

From hermaphrodite rumors that started when Lady Gaga was seen buying Jock Itch spray at Pavilions Supermarket in West Hollywood, to wearing a bikini made of meat on a magazine cover,  controversey seems to follow the Gaga everywhere she goes.
Lady Gaga is often at the center of a lot of weird news items. In one of the stranger stories involving the pop star, a woman is now claiming that Gaga is possessed by the soul of her late daughter Lina, who was also a musician and perhaps a hermaphrodite as well. 
“This can’t be true of course because Lady Gaga is not a musician,” said Hollywood veterinarian Dr. Lance Rantzwell from steam room he was sharing with dog whipserer Cesar Milan.  “Gaga is a dog and dogs can’t be musicans.”
Milan was angered by this and his angry response could be heard on Rantwell’s speaker phone.
“Oh, jes dey cain,” shrieked Milan.  “Gimme my towel and my lube,  choo big jerk.”
Sadly,  Milan forgot to take his dog when he stormed out, and after six hours in the steam room,  a trio of visiting Korean gay golfers ate the poor little guy with hot mustard. 


Anyway, this lady Yana Morgana is seeking the rights to release dozens of songs her daughter Lina recorded with Gaga before committing suicide at the age of 19 in 2008. Mourning has been especially difficult for Morgana, as Gaga is a constant reminder of her daughter, who is said to have inspired the artist’s penchant for wigs, thigh-high boots and a dark, tortured persona.  No other performer in history has worn wigs and boots except for Nancy Sinatra and she was possessed by the ghost of Sharon Tate until her father had that ghost whacked out by two guys from Reno.

“Every other word she says is from Lina,” Morgana tells the New York Post. “She talks about having a dark and tragic life, but she had everything she wanted in the world.” Gaga and Lina worked together with producer Rob Fusari, who is largely responsible for Gaga’s early career.  
They also shared the same urologist until Gaga flew into a jealous rage when doctors at the hermaphrodite clinic said that he would not treat the vestigial male sex organs of a ghost.


“I take an oath to do no harm,” said Dr, Peter Johnson of the Bervely Hills Activia Hermaphrodite Clinic.  “But Lady Gaga is possessed by the ghost of a dead girl and I can’t put my karma in that kind of jeopardy.  I like to treat tranny’s and intrasexuals and transexuals, but ghosts, well ghosts are where I draw the line — especially when they have been stolen by a hermaphrodite.

The most bewildering aspect of the alleged persona stealing is that Gaga landed on the mainstream music scene just one month after Lina’s death. “It was the same style, the same look, the same music, the same voice, the same jaw line — the way they expressed themselves so equally untalentedly,”

Lina’s ex-boyfriend, Charles Schwab, tells the Post about seeing the ‘Just Dance’ video for the first time. “And I was like, ‘Is that Lina’s miniature penis?’  It was so, so shocking. It was like looking at a ghost — especially the parts where you could see that she had a penis and a vagina just like Gaga, except Gaga’s penis is a whole lot bigger. 

And this isn’t just a case of gold-digging, either. Morgana has asserted she has no plans to take this to court, but merely wants the music released and, in turn, for Gaga to let go of Lina’s soul. is begging Lady Gaga to give the girl’s soul back.  What’s wrong with you, Gaga!  Bad girl!  Go sit — no — sit!   Okay, now beg.   Awwww.  Who’s  a good girlie!!!  Who’s  a good girlie!!!!

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