The Damien Zone

SEASIDE HEIGHTS,  THAT DUMP ON THE JERSEY SHORE THAT ALSO HAPPENS TO BE THE HOME OF THE MTV TRAIN WRECK, MONEY MAKING, STAR-MAKING SHOW  “JERSEY SHORE” IS CURRENTLY UNDER SEIGE.  SOME BIG SHARKS ARE PATROLING CLOSE TO THE SHORELINE AND FORCING OFFICIALS TO PROHIBIT SWIMMING. YES, THAT’S  THE SITUATION, SO TO SPEAK, AND GUIDOS ALL OVER NEW JERSEY ARE GETTING READY.  “I’m gonna punch the shit outta those motherfuckers,” said Nicky Porcorriello of Weehawken.  “I’m fuckin ready man.”    While Porcorriello  — or however

Mel Gibson‘s ex-gal pal thinks “it’s terrible” that tapes she secretly recorded of the star’s racist rants went public – and says she’s not the one who leaked them. Oksana Grigorieva, who has been locked in a monumental breakup with the anger-challenged Gibson, told reporters that she never wanted the explosive tapes out there. Grigorieva would not comment on the ordeal and said she had no idea how the tapes got out. LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR

LINE UP WANNA-BE HIPPIES AND MISFITS WITH DISPOSABLE INCOME BECAUSE CHEVY HAS THE CAR FOR YOU!  You still need to burn fossil fuel to charge the stupid thing,  but they forget to tell you that in the teaser advertisements.   New batteries will only last 8 years and will cost  $10,000 to replace — and you worry now about what it will cost if your transmission goes?   Anyone who has ever bought a new car knows how fast 8 years go by.  The

    “Saints were psychotic and advances in modern medicine have essentially wiped them off the planet.” This is a quote from that old, sagging  sack of shit Joy Behar.  It was made on a show that is still watched by a lot of housewives and forty-five year old plus  guys who still like to go shopping with their mothers. Normally I don’t care about religious stuff because people either believe or they do not, but if you do not believe

  TESTS PERFORMED ON JACK LALANNE’S FUTURISTIC JUMPSUITS AT THE MAYO CLINIC  HAVE PROVEN THAT THE 97 YEAR OLD FITNESS GURU’S UNUSUAL ATTIRE IS THE SECRET TO HIS LONGEVITY. “We were able to determine that the material that makes up the blue jumpsuit works as a fully functionally kidney,” said Dr, Leon Hunch of the Mayo Clinic’s department of nephrology.  “Mr. Lalanne can wear the blue suit until it starts to smell like piss and then he must change into the dark brown

BECAUSE HE IS DEAD, PEOPLE SEEM TO HAVE FORGOTTEN THAT THIS GUY WAS A ROTTEN SON OF A BITCH.  WHY ALL THE MAUDLIN SENTIMENT?  HE NEVER DID ANYTHING TO BENEFIT ANYONE BUT HIMSELF.   IF YOU KNEW HIM YOU WOULD HATE HIM.  HE WAS A CHEAP, LYING, WHEELING AND DEALING JERK-OFF. NOW HE PROBABLY THINKS HE CAN GO TO GOD AND BROKER A DEAL — MAYBE TRADE LUCIFER FOR BEELZEBUB.  FUCK HIM — THROW THE DIRT ON THIS SACK OF SHIT — IT’S

It pains me to make the comparison because Kitty was nice, but even she’s had enough of him.  WILL THE REAL FIDEL CASTRO PLEASE……….DIE! A relaxed and lucid Fidel Castro returned to the limelight Monday after years spent largely out of public view, discussing world events in a raspy voice in his most prominent television interview since falling seriously ill four years ago.    Officials knew at the start of the interview that something was amiss when there were three Fidels

LINDSAY LOHAN DIDN’T GET A BAD LAWYER, THE LAWYER GOT A BAD CLIENT.  THIS IS ALL STARTING TO LOOK VERY FRANCES FARMER-ISH.   THE FAULT LIES WITH LINDSAY, HER  PARENTS AND THAT RONSON FAMILY OF CELEBRITY SEEKING PARASITES. BASICALLY THE WHEELS  OF SELF-DESTRUCTION GOT INTO HIGH GEAR WHEN THAT SVENGALI, LESBIAN PARASITE SAMANTHA RONSON AND HER SCUMMY FAMILY WORMED THEIR WAY INTO LINDSAY’S WORLD IN AN ATTEMPT TO MAKE CAREERS FOR THEIR UNTALENTED SELVES.  WHY DOES THIS GIRL SURROUND HERSELF WITH