“At his current rate of aging, we feel that Mr. Favre will be at least 90 years old by this time next year.” said Dr. Hermet LaJeunesse of the American College of Aging and Maturation in Newark, New Jersey USA. “We might have to use the entire $100 million dollar grant that was given to the city of Newark by the guy who invented that social networking site that is really a scam for identity theft and is rumored to
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“When you die, you get a thing that’s kind of like a Last Rites inspection sticker,” said John Hightower, a hippy kind of a guy who almost died of an acid overdose at Woodstock in 1969 and who says he works for God and also moonlights for the Holy Spirit on weekends. “Man, Zsa Zsa Gabor got the Last Rites like years ago, so if she dies she has to get them again because her sticker is totally expired.” As TheDamienZone.com readers
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WHOEVER SAID THAT A HAIR TRANSPLANT LOOKS LIKE ROWS OF CORN didn’t ever conjure up the notion that someday a hair transplant would rejoin a long lost pair of siblings. Such is the case with actor Brendan Fraser and that Supreme Court thingy Elena Kagan. “As I was doing the transplant on Brendan Fraser I started to notice something strange,” said Dr. Bosley Beasley of the Bosley Hair Transplant and Second Mortgage Clinic. “The more hair I added to the
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Don’t be scammed by people like JJ Virgin. If you have cancer you need to eat, and if you have terminal cancer, you need to eat whatever you want and as much of it as you want. There are no such things as a nutraceutical or macrobiotric diets. They are scams.
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Australia’s former Prime Minister — and douche bag– was an Atheist — who gives a shit! Here’s a pic I made when she became the Primie Minister.
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“Casinos like to kill people’s dreams and credit scores, not their horses.” [ D. Mattia <– Racehorse trainer and TV writer. ] You can forget about global warming and climate change and baby seals for a few moments and dedicate your time to reading about the annoyances of horse racing. They call it “The Sport Of Kings” when in fact it should be called the sport of mindless carnival people who have somehow managed to sneak into polite society whilst breeding the best
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PICTURED: Saint-Claire-Ayizan, an example of a Voodoo Lwa or Loa. She is believed to be spiritually present only at Voodoo initiation rituals and rarely makes herself available for anything else. She is rather aloof. Good for her. You know what gets a bad rap? Haitian Voodoo — and that’s not fair. Voodoo, in it’s true form, is a complex combo of Roman Catholic and ancient African tribal beliefs. It is an interesting religion and a rather sensible one too. Voodoo
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“Every phony who had a microphone took a moment to patronize Sidibe solely because she is black and enormously fat. Sorry but that is the sad truth. Another sad truth is that Hollywood treats black people like cute little pets and not as human beings. I am sure that Miss Sidibe is an inwardly beautiful and talented person, but she is dangerously overweight from carrying both a lot of her own fat and the weight of all the false praise Hollywood has heaped upon her back.” [David
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Rants and Raves