A website dedicated to human stupidity and dumbness

Prince Harry Saves a Gay Soldier. What a crock of….

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Before I get to the “Prince Harry and the Gay Soldier” story, let me set it up a little for you.
You don’t have to be a genius to know that The Huffington Post is a piece of crap, and that Huffington herself is a complete douche bag, and that the stuff she prints on her retarded “news” website is some of the dumbest and most childish shit it the history of the printing press.
Arianna Huffington (nee Stanisopoulou) is, for lack of a nastier word that starts with C, an impostor who couldn’t make it as ANYBODY in her native Greece, so she went over to England where the best she could do to make herself famous was to somehow work her way up to being a third string game show panelist — kind of like an ugly and untalented version of Kitty Carlise.  When that failed she came to the USA and married a gay congressman named Michael Huffington.  This shameless act of self-promotion got her into the American spotlight and onto the American media machine.
She has been a Conservative pundit on Fox News and, when she failed at that, she became a Liberal pundit on other cable news shows.  That didn’t work out so she somehow invented an online newspaper that makes the National Enquirer look like a pillar of truth and urbane reading.  Oh, and she is a plagiarist — or at least she has been thrice accused of it by some mighty high-brow biographers.
If you get called out three times for plagiarism three times and each time the accuser is a noteworthy writer, the odds are that you did indeed cut and paste somebody else’s work — but this Greek carpet bagger has managed to squirm her way out of the plagiarism charges.  Once she settled out of court — which, in my opinion that means she was guilty — and two other times the story kind of died away.  Again, in my world that means somebody did something to make somebody else happy with money.  It’s the same as “settled out of court” but without the court.
So what does this have to do with Prince Harry and the gay soldier?  It’s my way of setting things up in such a way so that you realize that most of the stuff you read on Huffing ton — hopefully only when you’re forced to look at it while checking your antiquated AOL email — is a bunch of stupid and fake shit.
Anyway, according to Arianna’s rag, there is some gay soldier named Michael Wharton in the UK who is living in a dream world where big old hot and hung and handsome Prince Harry saved him from gay bashing bullies whilst in the British military.
The teary-eyed Wharton — the poor damsel in distress that he is —  told the Greek carpet bagger’s online rag that Harry saved him at a time when his gayness was not standing in good stead with some other nasty bad-boy soldiers.
Prince Harry — If you’re dumb enough to believe this — said that he was “going to sort this hit out once and for all”  and he went out settled the score for Wharton.
Lucky for Wharton, that poor queen, handsome Prince was there to save him when he was hard up against it — if you know what I’m talking about — because he was going to be “murdered by the infantry”  had Harry not gone out to defend his honor and possibly his virginity.   What a lovely fairy tale — literally!
Can you imagine the hilarity?  What a dopey queen.  I mean, how dopey can some of these queens get?  Hey, you can’t blame the poor girl for trying, but even Baron Von Munchausen would have steered clear of this lusty and sweat-filled concoction of hot and needy brothers-in-arms and elsewhere.
Wharton went on and on quoting about how toughly and grittily he was defended by a foul-mouthed and angry Prince Harry.
You can’t make this shit up, folks.  Well, the story is made up of course, but you can’t make up the fact that some gay soldier would dream up this Harlequin Romance.
There’s an old joke about a prostitute who said, “I’m rotten to the core (corps) but I’m great to the infantry.  Do you get it?  Good.
Huffington goes on to mention incidents where Prince Harry has been commended for his leadership and character, but the sickening part is that the article is written so as to make it seem that Harry was commended for this anti-gay bashing incident.   That never happened.
So why would Huffington even tell this dopey tale and then go on to talk about Prince Harry’s gay icon status?  The answer is easy.  Huffington will one day claim that her Huffington Post is how Prince Harry rose to gay icon cult status.  If she does — and she will —  she’s lying as usual.  Prince Harry became a gay icon all by himself.
And what happened to soldier Wharton?  He’s probably going to trot around the talk shows with his girlie story and then write a book about how he was saved by a long tall drink of water way back in the old days when he was sweating in the anti-gay-soldier trenches with big old sweaty and muscular military hunks who were going to put a hurtin’ on him.  He’ll tell the story about a time when a fire-crotch hottie — just another soldier —  turned out to be a real life prince who showed him true love and saved him.

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