[LONDON 8:44 GMT]Official Announcement: Royal Doctor Accidentally Announce the Sex and Name of The Royal Baby. Prince William and Kate Middleton “outraged.”
LONDON 8:47 GMT: A stupid mistake by a clerk in a London hospital has not only revealed the sex of the royal baby, it has revealed the child’s intended name.
The buzz around Windsor Castle has been all about the royal baby. Is Kate expecting a boy or a girl? What will the royal couple name the child? TheDamienZone now has the official information. An official announcement was made this evening at 8:30pm GMT at the hospital’s reception center. By some strange happenstance, the only reporters there were those representing TheDamienZone.com. They were there reporting on the hospitalization of a local reporter who had been only slightly injured in a motorcycle accident.
It seems that Dr. Tote-Tundy, the physician in charge of this press conference, was not supposed to make this announcement until next Friday, but a clerical error sent him out a week early, and although he looked confused about the empty room, he made the announcement anyway. A few minutes into his statement, a hospital representative whispered in his ear and the two walked away from the podium. The reporter, Tessie Zecca, from TheDamienZone.com’s Italian outlet, sent out this quick dispatch.
“Prince William and the former Kate Middleton are expecting a baby girl,” said Dr. Raymond Tote-Tundy MD and Chief Surgeon at the Royal Hospital of Obstetrics in London. he made this announcement to an emty room because he wasn’t supposed to make the announcement until next Friday. While this might seem like a minor mistake, the announcement of the child’s sex and name was supposed to be greeted with great fanfare throughout media in the UK and the world. Now the whole royal baby thing is going to seem rather anti climactic — not mention the fact that the royal family is really angry.
“Early hormonal levels are now easily traceable with reverse transcriptase assays. The levels of the hormone HCG – Human Chorrionic Gonadotropin — are at levels which prove within 99.7% that the child is a female.”
Dr. Raymond Tote-Tundy went on to say:
“The baby is a female and all hormonal levels for both mother and child are at healthy levels. An ultrasound, while unable to detect the sex as per a visual description, shows a normal fetus of about 10 weeks gestation. The fetus is in the top five percentile as per size which means that this will be a big baby, but often the rate of growth slows as the pregnancy moves forward and the child is born with only a slightly higher than normal birth weight.”
So now we know, Kate Middleton is expecting a baby girl. We were not supposed to know that until after the birth of the child, but Dr. Tote-Tundy, went on to reveal even more information — the BABY’S NAME! Here is what Dr. Tote-Tundy said.
“Prior to the determination of the sex of the child, we were instructed by the parents the names that would be assigned to the child once the sex had been determimed so as to make all samples and tests and sonograms and what have you, pertain to a specific individual. In this case, since the child is female, and according to information available to me now, she will be given the name Diana Elizabeth. This is the name that was given to me as per the instructions of his Majesty, Prince William.”
So – this is international breaking news. Kate Middleton is expecting a girl and she will name the baby, Diana Elizabeth and when she is born, Diana Elizabeth will be third in line for the throne.
Sources close to Buckingham Palace say that the Royals are “greatly disturbed” by the premture announcement by Dr. Tote-Tundy and immediately after the announcement, he was put on indefinite leave.
“I only reported what I was told to report,” said Dr. Tote-Tundy angrily as he was chased to his car by Damien Zone reporters.
“The fact that there was a clerical error does not change anything or mean anything. The child is a girl. This is not the the only bloody child or the most precious child in the world. I am the victim of your garden variety royal pettiness and self-imprtance. If the royal couple were expecting a baby gorilla, then it would be newsworthy and I would still have my job, but this is just a baby for the love of god.”
Don’t worry about Dr. Tote-Tundy’s future. This gaffe will only make him more fanous and shed some light on his own business – The Skylight Institute of Higher Medicine of Antwerp, Belgium, where he is the founder and CEO.