A website dedicated to human stupidity and dumbness

Gay Lover Falls From Roof. It Could Happen To You — just like Judy Holliday.

Remember back in the old days when the way to get maudlin attention at a funeral was to throw one’s self onto the casket and scream?  Remember that?  People probably still do it all the time, but the technology today has digitized these agonizing moments and taken them a step further — and just a teeny bit faker.

Instead of throwing themselves on caskets and moaning to the heavens, “Take me, God!  Why don’t you take me,” people are throwing themselves and the images of their departed loved ones onto the internet.  YouTube has become the modern day casket.  Why not?  It’s free and it never rots.

It’s being used by everybody who wants to cry, complain, grieve, offer false or insipid inspiration — you name it — all the maudlin junk you can imagine at an Irish wake  or an Italian repast is now on YouTube — and it’s getting more and more cringe-worthy every day

Back in the 1950s, the late, great actress/singer/comedienne Judy Holliday made a famous film called, “IT SHOULD HAPPEN TO YOU.”  In this film she plays a woman named Gladys Glover; an ordinary gal who makes herself famous simply by plastering her image on billboards throughout New York City.

How blissfully ignorant and ironic that the title from that film is eerily close to the title of the newest YouTube sensation about a gay guy –who seems to want to be famous — and the lover — who also seems to have wanted fame — that he lost one year ago when said lover fell off a roof.

You’ve probably read the story already and you’ve probably seen the video because every bird-brain on your Facebook page is passing it around and talking about how sad it is and how every gay person in the world needs to revolt because nobody seems to want them at a funeral, and everybody is a bully, and everybody is a hater, and everybody is an evil Christian who watches Fox News.

One deeply saddened gay activist wrote:  “This is why we have to fight back!  I can’t stop watching this.  It brings tears to my eyes. I can’t stop crying.  It’s terrible.”

If it’s so terrible and it makes you cry, why the hell do you keep watching it and sending it to your friends?  Are you a maudlin YouTube masochist first and a Facebook sharing sadist second?  Perhaps you’re organizing a big pity party with go-go boys?  Or maybe…just maybe, you’re just a dopey, maudlin, simple-minded provincial dingbat?  Yes, I think the last guess is the right one.

Anyway, Shane Bitney Crone is the first gay mourner to officially throw himself onto the  virtual casket of YouTube with his teary commemorative video, “It Could Happen To You.”  Dammit — he was so close to getting the title right!  Judy Holliday’s movie was called, “It Should Happen To You” which I happen to think is more appropriate in this case, but I can’t be that mean.

Keep in mind that Shane Bitney Crone did this because he is sad and horribly repressed by our ever evil and perpetually cruel heterosexual Christian society. (yawn) He yearns for the day when he can move to a Muslim country where he can openly mourn the death of his gay lover.

Hey!  Maybe….just maybe, he’s a modern-day Gladys Glover and he simply wants to be famous.  Oh, no, no, no!  Momma Mia let me go!  Nobody is that shameless, are they?

Shane Bitney Crone made this video — a video that ranks up there with “Old Yeller” for people who like to cry at the movies — because he wanted people to know that his gay lover was accidentally killed and that this gay lover’s evil family shunned him from the ceremony when they had to bury their son.

Oh, I forgot to tell you the actual back story.  It goes something like this.

Shane Bitney Crone’s longtime boyfriend, Tom Bridegroom, fell from a rooftop and died during a photo shoot.  People who seek fame often do photo-shoots because you have to have headshots of yourself in edgy places — like grungy roofops and stuff.

Notwithstanding the glaring fact that both these guys have names that sound like they both stepped off the Mayflower, it has been alleged by Shane Bitney Crone that Tom Bridegroom’s family would not allow him to mourn properly.  This is an outrage and something that should never happen in such high-bourne society.

In a crying-jag performance worthy of Lana Turner, circa “Madam X” and/or “Imitation Of Life,”  he describes in his video how he was pushed aside by those evil anti-gay heterosexual monsters — aka, his ersatz in-laws.

So now, thanks to the world’s newest “Gladys Glover Show” that’s playing at a Facebook page near you, the gay world is on the verge of kvetching.  Does the maudlin gullibility of the facebooking and YouTubing human being ever end?  Unfortunately, the answer is, no.

Is it sad that the guy died?  Of course it is.  Is it sad that Shane was allegedly dismissed by the family of the dead lover?  Yes it is.  Is the whole thing totally true as it as been told in the over-played, tear-jerker YouTube video?  Uh…probably not, but you have to allow for a little poetic/dramatic license.

Keep in mind that a video on YouTube is only half as effective as a real-life, black-veiled, old lady wailing and throwing herself onto her husband’s coffin, but you need production value, dude, and Shane Bitney Crone seems to have done a great job of making himself a YouTube martyr/hero — an internet Gladys Glover — and in HD no less.

I don’t, however, recommend watching the dead lover YouTube video.  Go out instead and rent or buy the Judy Holliday film  “IT SHOULD HAPPEN TO YOU ” — the acting is a whole lot better.

Damien LeGallienne reporting for: TheDamienZone.com.

12 Comments
  1. I would love to debunk shit like this*, but i can’t even bring myself to watch it in the first place

    *shit like this = the original video

  2. Funny that VinceP says “debunk” because I have a feeling the whole thing is a crock of shit. I think they were both wanna-be celebrity fuckers and the stupider one jumped off the roof.

  3. This post, and the responses, exude a bitter-Castro-queen vibe. Sure you folks didn’t just see two hot guys in the video and feel a bit jealous of their relationship?

    Or were you trying to do a too-school-for-school-hipster post?

    Either way, bad writing as well as a repulsive response to someone’s pain.

  4. Castro queen? WTF? Boy did you get a wrong number! This writer nails it EVERY TIME! Bad writing? Just because something goes over your head, there’s no reason to bomb the writing — it’s top notch. This went waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay over your head, dude — and that ain’t hard because you’re stupid and probably on your knees a lot. Man — talk about missing the point. Here — if you think this writer doesn’t nail shit on the head read this installment – this was worthy of Mort Sahl. http://thedamienzone.com/2011/06/29/lindsay-piscitell-and-other-undignified-new-yorkers-owe-glenn-beck-an-apology/

  5. Castro queen? Have you ever seen Damien LeGallienne? He is not a Castro Queen which I assume is beat up old bitter gay man owing to the Castro and the Queen thing. I think if you saw either Damien or Damian, you would have other, more lascivious, comments and/or thoughts. Sorry but you are on the wrong page and I never involve myself in this stupid crap but when you are wrong, you are wrong!

  6. You have proven beyond a doubt that you represent the worst of humanity. Your interpretation of reality reveals your bigotry and the fact that you prove that you are completely ignorant of science, medicine, psychology and theology. Being gay is not a choice but being a compassionate humane being is, and you have chosen not to be –which is in reality: inhuman. You talk about people and things you know absolutely nothing of…you don’t know Shane or Tom or their families..yet you judge them. You just proven the tremendous discrimination and verbal and physical abuse gay men and women, and teenagers have had to put up with. Your attitude reveals deep seated issues which you have never dealt with but your pride and arrogance probably gets in the way. Take the log out of your eye so that you can see clearly before you falsely judge others.

  7. Rick — you missed the whole point. It’s okay — I’m usd to people like you.

  8. I’ll just post what I posted on fb but ill take the link out “oh god i just found out about some gay movie (literally gay) called bridegroom based on this youtube video it is soooo fucking fake it is a bs story propaganda to further the gay equal rights agenda which is all fine and dandy but not through propaganda and making up false sob stories, he’s not even crying in his “crying” videos and how does someone accidentally fall off a roof??? puhhhlease people see through the bull shit I beg you” I really think the whole thing is fake, the videos of them look too new for 2011, and the grave he shows doesnt even have the name of the person – its someone elses grave hahaha what a joke.

  9. I don’t get it. So did the dude really die or is the entire story, from beginning to end a hoax sap story?
    Are you telling me that those two guys are probably laughing their ass off while all these idiots are mourning the other guy’s supposed “loss”?

  10. It all really happened but the BF – in my opinion — is milking public sentiment and still trying to be a YouTube star = which is what they were both trying to be in the first [;ace — until one of ’em fell of the roof. There was no anti-gay backlash from the falling guy’s family — be serious.

  11. Then why isn’t the dead guy’a family suing his ass for giving them a bad name and what not?
    I would be pissed off if I was the parents.

  12. Because there are two sides to every story and how can the family prove that the guy is lying? — this whole thing is long forgotten — as it should be,

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