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Lucie Arnaz fears: Lucille Ball and Vivian Vance Hacked Down Facebook.

“Lucie Arnaz is worried that her mother Lucille Ball and Vivian Vance have come back from the great beyond and hatched some cockamamie scheme to bring down Facebook,” said a source close to the reclusive and legendary celebrity daughter.

Fcebook has been down throughout most of the USA as of Thursday morning August 11, 2011 and Lucie Arnaz fears that this might be the work of her mother and Vivian Vance. 

We interviewed a source close to Lucie Arnaz; ghost expert and computer programmer, Sheldon Hartunis.

“Lucie and her brother Desi both tried to use Facebook this morning so they could show each other pictures of their dogs, but when they tried to sign on,  they hit a brick wall.”

“This isn’t the first time Lucille Ball and Vivian Vance have caused problems in the world of the living,” continued the source.  “A few years ago Lucy and Viv popped up in a cave in Afghanistan with Dean Martin and together they did a celebrity roast of Osama Bin Laden.”

TheDamienZone.com got a transcript of that roast:

Lucille Ball:   Good evening ladies and gentleman.  Oh wait, there are no ladies — what have you got here, Bin Laden, a bunch of fags?  ( rim shot)  I’ve been to a few gay bars in my life but a gay cave? — well this has got to be a first.  (laughter)  Who decorated this shit hole, Barney Rubble?  (laughter)  I didn’t even know that Barney was gay! (laughter)  I think his wife Betty knew though.  That’s why she had to go out and buy a stegasaurus who liked brunettes. (rim shot – laughter).  But seriously, who makes the drinks in this desert?  This morning there was so much sand in my martini, I had to drink it out of an hourglass (Rim shot laughter) I would like to thank you all for coming.  I’ve been two sheets to the wind before but this has got to be some kind of world record.  I haven’t seen this many packs of camels since my last chest x ray.  (laughter).

TheDamienZone thinks that this was a pretty good routine but we think that if Lucy and Vivien brought down Facebook, it is Lucie Arnaz’s duty to turn those two in to the authorities no matter how riotously funny their routines might be.  Haunting people is one thing, but this is downright nasty.

Lucie Arnaz was not available for comment.

3 Comments
  1. I think it was those 2 twats trying to criticize your stories with their venom this morning maybe they were using Arnez and Vance as beards…

  2. I thing, World Class, that she got the joke after reading this. It takes a lot to admit when you jump the gun — Lucie is okay — I picked on her because I had a lot of material from something else I had written but never used years and years ago.

    Lucie Arnaz herself (for real) wrote to me and said she had a good belly laugh. The letter I got from David Oreck (the vacuum cleaner guy) was pretty nice. The way I see it is that people who are secure will surely laugh at a joke although I regret using the word asshole — but that gets more Google hits.

    Damien

  3. Yeh we got all kind of game here a bit of stockholm syndrome, mental warfare, bad cop worst cop, then hugs and kisses – comment of the week goes to “I love poop”, imo…

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