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Oprah’s sister. The truth.

Today OPRAH viewers were treated to a lie — a lie about a sibling that was supposedly given up for adoption — a sister that Oprah never knew about, but it’s all a lie.  The truth is that Oprah is the first person to have a LIPO BABY.

The truth is that the sister, Patricia, is actually a semi-human being that was created from all the fat that has been liposuctioned out of Oprah over the past 20 years.

“We did not know what to do with all that fat,”  said Zurich plastic surgeon Dr. Fritz Lang. 

“Oprah would not let us throw away the fat and grease and clumps of tissue, and we were in a quandary.  Since this all happened in Switzerland where we can do anything medical without actually testing it, we tried mixing stem cells from Oprah’s pap smear with the fat and clumps of tissue and implanting it all into the uterus of a yak.  After 10 months the yak gave birth to Patricia.  She was a little hairy and fat at first but Oprah had a team of specialists do all the electrolysis and the lipo-baby was put through extreme weight lifting and exercise regiments.”

The lipo baby, according to Dr, Lang, ages rapidly until it reaches about 50 years old.  That takes about 3 years.  The Lipo Baby has to have a lot of education fast but according to the doctors at the LIPO BABY INSTITUTE, “Patricia” is very intelligent.  She is quick to reach for sausage biscuits and gravy, but they seem to have tamed that instinct.

Expect to hear more from Lipo Baby — it took almost 4 years for Oprah to reveal this Lipo sister because it took that long to make her publicly presentable as far as Oprah was concerned — and the lawyers had so many papers to file.

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