Joey Lawrence of “Melissa and Joey” sprays on a fake shaved hairline.


The makeup people carefully draw in Joey’s hairline dot by dot,” said a source close to the makeup department on the set of ABC Family’s new sitcom “Melissa and Joey.” 

“They carefully recreate the illusion that Mr. Lawrence has a thick hairline that has been shaved.  The problem is that from day to day they are not able to exactly duplicate the exact position of the fake shaved hairline and instead Joey ends up with a grandpa Munster kind of look.  When I see Mr. Lawrence after the makeup on his head is finished, and I hear him rehearse the scripts, I realize that this new show is so cancelled.”

Sarah Palin went on Larry King to talk about Joey’s spray on hair and the results were hilarious.

Poor Joey has gone bald, but unlike all the other A-list celebrities who run to the nearest $10,000 hairpiece designers or $100,000 hair transplant surgeons, Joey prefers to draw his hair in with some kind of head paint and then pretend that it’s a shaved head.  The whole thing makes no sense and looks pretty frightening.

“It’s like if I shaved my underarms and then drew in black dots or sprayed on a thin film of black paint to make it look like the hair is just growing back in, “ said John Travolta as he glued on his newest Micro-Thin Derma Replacement Uniqu-3000 Hair Replication System.  “It makes no sense and it makes Joey look like a mental patient.”

“The thing is that you get a system like the ones I have and keep them nice and spiffy, but I am a much bigger star than Joey Lawrence.  You can also get hair transplants, but Joey’s head is very large and he is very bald.  There is not enough hair to transplant.”

Joey not only draws in a shaved head. he also draws in plucked eyebrows.  Why would anyone shave something and then draw the hairs back in?  We asked an expert.

“It is obvious that Mr. Lawrence suffers from Trichotrusion,” said dermatologist Hannah Theiss of the Beverly Hills Hair Loss Center.  “It’s a rare condition where a bald man will pretend that he has shaved his head because he is bothered by the thick hair, when in fact there is no hair at all.  It’s a very serious condition and eventually the patient has to seek psychological therapy.”

Whatever you are doing with that paint on widows peak, Joey, you better stop.  You’re making Eddie and Grandpa Munster look like Fabio.  You can’t act and you can’t sing and your shaved head is sprayed on — it’s tragic.