“Jersey Shore” Guidette , Snooki vacationing in Japan, is happy to be headed home although flights out of Tokyo are not really going anyway due to the massive 8.9 earthquake and the subsequent Tsunami. Despite all the calamity around her, Snooki had the strength of mind to use her laptop’s Skype to call into Fox News about the quake and the Tsunami.
“Oh my frigging god,” said Snooki to Fox News Gretchen Carlson. “The whole freaking room started to shake and I was bouncing off the walls like a freaking ping pong ball. I tried to stay calm but my girlfriend Josephine said that a Tsunami was coming and that’s when I totally freaked out. I was like, Holy Shit! ”
While Snooki was 25 stories high above Tokyo in an earthquake-proof building, she was not aware of what her fate might be and she was very shaken.
“I raided the fucking mini-bar and I didn’t give a shit how much it cost but the Chivas Regal was like $25.00 for a tiny bottle. I had about ten of them and then I don’t know what the hell else I drank. I was drinking and saying Hail Mary’s like a freaking lunatic until the shaking stopped. How the fuck was I supposed to know that they build the buildings here so that they sway back and forth in an earthquake? I thought I was fucking doomed.”
Fox News was not prepared for Snooki’s barrage of foul language but since this was a woman in serious distress they allowed it all to go through to show the reality of what it is like to be in the middle of one the biggest earthquakes every recorded.
Fox News issued this press release: We stand by Snooki and we thank her for her courage in making that Skype report. We thank her for her courage in the face of such danger to herself. We will pay her hotel room bar fee and we will compensate Snooki for her valuable time.”
