“They jumped aboard our boat hissing and swiping at us with their claws. Then they took all of our fish croquettes and scratched up all of our priceless furniture.” Lady Sandrine VanVeener.
Piracy on the high seas has been a problem off the coast of Somalia for several years and the governments of several European and Asian nations who depend on shipping routes to protect the ships who fall victim to Soamli pirates have been working oevrtime to protect the waters off the Somali coast.
Recently however, a new kind of pirate has emerged from Somalia. The so-called “Alley Cat Pirate” has recently appeared off the coast of Somalia. These pirates are actual cats who have learned to build ships and take to the seas. If you’re a cat lover, this might not sound like a big deal, but these cats can not only sail a ship, they can set fires and do nasty things. They held English aristocrat, Lady Sandrine VanVeneer, and her crew hostage for three days on her yacht and demanded Friskies and Tender Vittles and one bold cat went so far as to demand Beluga caviar.
“They were little monsters,” said Lady VanVeneer. “The ringleader was an orange and white cat who had his own little dingy from Petco. They just made themselves at home and slept on my furniture and ate all my food. I did not have kitty litter so they just relieved themselves wherever they wanted. The hairballs were ghastly!”
The US and French Navies are scouring the area but so far the cat pirates have been hard to find because they’re boats are so small.
