Pope Francis, the new Pope who is beloved by the Simpletons of Facebook, has now cranked up the volume of dumbness and put the Facebook morons into blissfully idiotic overdrive.
You see them on your Facebook page, right? The people who say things like, “I’m really digging this new Pope,” and “This Pope makes me want to go back to church.”
Yes, the Argentinian pop-culture Pope is getting really popular. Trouble is — he is a phony and he’s kind of dopey and clueless — just like the Facebookers who are digging him.
I can totally understand the stupidity of Facebook Simpletons — they have an incurable illness, and they are quickly becoming a distinct ethnic group unto themselves.
A Pope, however, is supposed to be smart, or at least wise, or at the very least, he should be able to understand the rules of the job for which he has been chosen.
Recently, Pope Francis made a complete idiot out of himself by publicly excommunicating the Italian Mafia.
Naturally, this extremely dumb edict was greeted with endless Facebook chatter from the community of “Facebook Simpletons Who Share Stupid Shit.”
Those extremely dumb Facebook and email “sharers” totally love this kind of stuff — but it’s stupid and it makes no sense.
Many or most of the Roman Catholics on Facebook have already been excommunicated but they are basically too stupid to know it.
Allow me to explain.
The Pope does not excommunicate people. People excommunicate people.
In other words, if one violates any specific doctrine of the Roman Catholic Church — the rules that call for excommunication — one has excommunicated one’s self. It happens in the blink of an eye without any intervention from anyone.
An unseen hand comes down from heaven and erases you from the eyes of the Roman Catholic Church. You do not exist.
You can go to church all you want and put copious amounts of money in the collection plate, but for all intents and purposes, in the eyes of the church and God, you are not there.
If you have broken any number of endless rules, you are instantly excommunicated. You are a non-person. You are “WASTING WAFERS” as I like to say.
You are, however, still a Catholic. And, you’ll always be Catholic unless you convert to something else — because you were Christened in the Catholic Church. But, as far as the church is concerned, you cannot participate in any of the sacraments and you cannot have a Catholic burial. Sorry, no incense or holy water.
So, what does this all mean? It means — don’t bother showing up in church because you’re not there. You are invisible in the eyes of god.
Let’s first tackle the issue of gay marriage as it pertains to our subject of excommunication since the gay Catholic community seems to be loving this new Pope in spite of the fact that just about all of them have been excommunicated because they are homosexuals. Gay people are not excluded from the community of Facebook Simpletons.
One day Pope Francis says a few nice things about gay people and they all start jumping for joy — it’s lunacy and dumbness.
Catholicism — and just about every religion of the world — does not not allow homosexuality.
It is written off as a grievous sin in the eyes of God even though God is the guy who made a person a homosexual in the first place.
Regrettably, it is correct to say that folks who engage in homosexuality — especially the really annoying and dopey ones — have already been auto-excommunicated. The Pope doesn’t have to announce it on television.
Sorry, honey, but just like Louie B. Mayer said to Joan Crawford when he excommunicated her from MGM studios, “It’s already been done, Joan.”
The Pope made an ass of himself when he spoke kindly of gay people a few weeks after he got the big hat, but it made no sense. How can you speak kindly of people who are thoroughly condemned by the giant organization you lead?
Rules are rules, and unless Pope Franny plans on revamping those rules, he should stop with all of this sanctimonious pandering. Actually, the pandering is tolerable — it’s those who are pandered to and loving it who make me sick.
I am not picking only on the gay community of Facebook Simpletons — it’s a whole lot of people — it’s freaking everybody.
If you have ever violated the loopy 6th and the 9th Commandments as they are applied by the Catholic Church of Rome — and who hasn’t — you are excommunicated. Sorry, Charlie.
Is that so hard to understand though?
Read these two Commandments carefully. These are the ones that automatically get you your pink slip. The Catholic Church has never revoked these rules, and as silly as they are, they still apply.
6 – THOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY.
Human sexual activity — This commandment forbids the actual, physical act of having immoral sexual activity, specifically adultery, which is sex with someone else’s spouse or a spouse cheating on their partner. This commandment also includes fornication, which is sex between unmarried people, prostitution, pornography, homosexual activity, masturbation, group sex, rape, incest, pedophilia, bestiality, and necrophilia.
9 – THOU SHALL NOT COVET THEY NEIGHBOR’S WIFE.
The Ninth Commandment forbids the intentional desire and longing for immoral sexuality. To sin in the heart, Jesus says, is to lust after a woman or a man in your heart with the desire and will to have immoral sex with them. Just as human life is a gift from God and needs to be respected, defended, and protected, so, too, is human sexuality. Catholicism regards human sexuality as a divine gift, so it’s considered sacred in the proper context — marriage.
So, now that you’ve read them carefully, are you an excommunicate? Oooooops! You probably are — if you are a Roman Catholic.
But alas, all is not lost. You can get back in — yes you can — if you are truly sorry for what you’ve done and you repent. But again, think carefully about what is written in those two commandments.
For example: If you are gay, you have to be truly sorry that you are gay. Be mindful of that little gay fact before you dive into months of confessions and Papal indulgences. If you ever go gay again — or if you ever even think about a guy in a bulging speedo — YOU’RE OUT!
Do you see the dumbness now? Do you see that the Pope’s TMZ style of excommunication is dumb and self-serving? Do you see how the whole concept of excommunication is dumb?
If you are a Catholic and you are currently practicing all of the rules of the Catholic Church, the odds are that you are either dead or in a deep coma.
Note to Pope Francis — SHUT UP. You are making a fool out of yourself.
This article was inspired by this Facebook post I stumbled upon from someone who is not a simpleton. Here is that post.
David D. Mattia : Pope Francis — essentially a false idol — has publicly excommunicated the Italian Mafia. But, the Italian MAFIA, if you follow the rules of excommunication, has already been excommunicated and they don’t even know it — and the Pope obviously doesn’t know it either.
This Pope is getting real popular by pandering to the dumbness of the masses — so to speak.
All “MAFIA” and GANGS and CROOKS — Mexican Mafia, Russian Mafia, Crips, Bloods. Neo Nazis — they’re already out — but I guess the Pope forget to announce it.
Excommunication is incurred AUTOMATICALLY for certain offenses against the doctrine of the Roman Catholic Church. Simply because the Pope announces it over a public address system does not mean anyone is MORE excommunicated — but I think the public announcement is kind of cute.
Hey, you out there? Are you divorced? Sorry. You’re out!
Are you homosexual or bisexual? You’re out!
Committed adultery ever? You’re out!
Murdered anyone? Didn’t go to to church and forgot to confess? Lusted after anyone? You’re out! You’re out! You’re out!
I have a new slogan for the Catholic Church — “IF YOU HAVEN’T BEEN EXCOMMUNICATED LATELY, YOU’RE PROBABLY DEAD.”
Your misunderstanding of the papal recognition of the “excommunication latae sententiae”, rendering an official papal censure unnecessary, smacks of a misunderstanding of Roman Catholisism. Though uncommon, not unprececedented. Papal infallibility is also a fact of the Holy See. He can do no wrong, and in the eyes of the “flock” he IS the church. Pope Francis was in Calabria where the “Ndrangheta” (an Italian crime syndicate) had shot in the head Nicola Campolongo, doused him in gasoline, and set him on fire, along with his grandfather and another gentleman. Nicola was 3 years old. Francis was none too amused. Your dislike of a liberal pope, obvious discomfort with transsexuals (it’s a bit Freudian), and chivalrous support of Condie Rice (hello aided in the lie, that led us into Iraq, where thousands of young Americans died). Oh and Mr Gervais has an estimated net-worth of $80 million. If that is “failing”, I hope to fail 1/2 as hard. To quote …you. “Shut up, you are making a fool of yourself”.
This is the most pretentious comment I have ever received. I am humbled at the importance of this moment — especially because a world record was broken —> Most amount of pedantic creepiness in one paragraph. I must, however, compliment you for the tedious amount of work you put into this wrongness.
Firstly, thank you for describing the gruesome murder in Italy. It almost sounds as if you enjoyed describing it. It also helps to prove why Pope Franny can indeed do wrong, and why he has fucking morons like you to help him propagate the dumbness.
I don’t care if he’s a liberal pope. Where inside your rectal vault did the ER physician find that crazy idea?
Listen, Dan, the problem with you is that your eyes only read what they want to see, and you absorb only small amounts of what you read. Then — and most sickening of all — you respond like a bitchy, confirmed bachelor.
I didn’t stand up like a brave knight for Condi Rice. I stood up for the non-misfit students who were denied the opportunity of having her speak at their commencement. Instead — because of some little C student — they got a speech from a dull and uninspired REPUBLICAN former Governor. HELLO? (See how dopey that just sounded — even with proper punctuation?)
As far as cash value is concerned, Ricky Gervais is indeed a failure. He has failed to become a star in the USA — which was his ultimate career goal. I call that failure. And you needn’t worry about failing half as hard as Ricky. I can tell by the pedantic stupidity of your comment — not understanding the concept wherein excommunication is automatic — that you are –have been — and will always be a failure. Again, in spite of your dumbness — I do appreciate the fact that you took the time to find articles to mindlessly skim during your visit to The Damien Zone.
PS — Why do you assume that I have a problem with transsexuals? More proof that you DO NOT READ — or you have NO READING COMPREHENSION or you are really old.
All the best
Damien LeGallienne
I’m Italian, I live far by Mafia, am the noth Italy, and I am totally agree. It’s all leftist propaganda; the Pope did nothing, no excommunicating the priests as leftist would; no put end to processions under mafia homes; It for Pope is all to please to the leftists, they would the Church under fascist state to regulate all processions and appoint priests, and Pope Francis is astute to please them
Dear Pepe, I was very pleased by your comment and then became very sad by your ” thousands of young Americans died” comment. And tens of thousands of Iraqi deaths are apparently not mentionable? And this site is concerning itself with what………religion? Unfortunately, many Catholics have no problem espousing bigotry and cruelty and almost never ever espousing anything like turn the other cheek or love thy enemy. No one is obliged to do those things , but if you don’t ,then can you call yourself a follower of Christ ? Not to mention mass deaths, not to put the fact of mass deaths in the discussion, I find very saddening!
Carmine — Catholics are not running around blowing people up. What kind of weirdo are you? Wake up.
I just got assaulted on facebook by a Simpleton for writing this status: “Why is Pope Francis getting so much credit for saying a bunch of sh*t that everyone’s been saying for centuries? Sorry I’m not giving a round of applause to a grown a** man because common sense is making a comeback. Stop rewarding mediocrity.” I am not Catholic but am familiar with the basic concepts and the steadfast rejection of non-Catholics, non-baptized hell-bound babies, non-heterosexuals, the unconfirmed, and unconfessed, and the importance of the 10 commandments (important to all 3 Abrahamic faiths). My point behind my post, which may not be clear to a Simpleton, is that I find it amusing that they are humping this man’s leg for making general Feel Good statements that effect no change whatsoever in the Church laws. Simpleton’s first response to my facebook post was that she was “insanely offended, but as always, defends my right to say it.” My response was, “I’m sorry you took my personal opinion so seriously, but as always, I defend your right to be insanely offended.” It was really quite a hilarious back and forth as she got angrier and angrier trying to force me into submission and admit this guy is the greatest thing since sliced bread because he makes her and other Catholics feel good. She went as far as to say she is comforted now, knowing that people she loves who are gay or non-Catholic can still sit with her in the After Life. My eyes are rolling in the back of my head as I type this. Sometimes I wish I were that blissfully ignorant and found comfort in what amounts to a bunch of out of context words, but then I remember I’m too smart to be happy. Thanks for this blog.
Mel — now you know what it feels like to be me. Best comment I ever got. You understand, and that’s good enough. You’re headed in the right direction.
Damien