Doctors fear: “Vampire shows make kids gay and stupid.”

Inspired by the “Twilight” series and heartthrob vampire Edward Cullen’s chilly charms, teens are taking their love nips a little too far, TheDamienZone reports.

“Biting each other — hard — and then licking the blood is the cool thing these days and even varsity football players are doing it.  Wannabee- gay kids are doing this to other gay kids because it’s okay to be a gay vampire. 

“It’s replacing the proverbial ‘Circle Jerk’,” says Dr. Ralph Cunjz of the Hospital for Neck and Shoulder surgery.  “I think it’s disgusting and if it were my son I would drive a stake through his heart — and I consider myself to be a very tolerant person.” 

Bizarre teen behavior has horrified parents for generations, but health officials and other experts are warning this vampire-inspired Count Dracula fad could have serious consequences.

“My son became a blood sucking little bitch,” said Dottie West of  Love Canal, New York.  “I gave that little cocksucker everything he ever wanted and now what do I get?  I get a kid who is a gay vampire.  What the fuck?”

“These are kids who think they are real vampires,” Dr. Orly Avitzur, the medical advisor to Consumers Union, the agency that publishes Consumer Reports magazine.   “The boys get to wear makeup and kiss other boys on the neck and the girls get to be rough and aggressive with other chicks.  It’s a recipe for gayness.”

And many teens are getting their blood-sucking fix on the Internet, Avitzur says, noting that sessions spent trolling vampire-related teen websites are on the rise. Groups such as “I drink blood and “I want to be a vampire” are filled with apparent posts from young people with a yearning for hemoglobin, but what they really want is to have gay sex and get away with it.

“Having that thick, warm copper-tasting blood in my mouth is the best thing I can think of — well almost!” writes a teenager identified as “FloodMyMouth69”  “Sometimes my friend lets me feed off of him but it’s not really gay cause we are vampires and my chick is cool with it.”

Such talk alarms medical experts, who warn about the dangers of blood-borne diseases such as hepatitis and stupidity, as well as the risk of nasty infections. Typically, 10-15 percent of human bite wounds become infected.”


“This kind of behavior leads to booze and dope,” said retired actress Helen Lawson.  “I worked on Broadway, honey and the guys in the chorus were sucking a lot of things but blood wasn’t one of them.    The way I see it is that you allow a certain amount of sucking here and there but if you let it get outta control the kids start sucking on that crack pipe or else they end up on the street blowing married guys for a few bucks.

“If you think about it, there is such glamorization in those teen vampire movies, they make it seem so sexy and appealing and intriguing, but in my day we just kissed and if we did have sexual relations, the camera would just cut to the pounding surf because that symbolized the pounding of the sex organs.”

TheDamienZone thinks that there are way too many vampire and werewolf shows.  The kids who watch them and get caught up in the fantasy are usually misfits.  It’s just another attempt by the morally bankrupt people in Hollywood to turn our kids into doping and boozing queers and lezzies.

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