Westboro Baptist Church to stage a production of RENT.

The Westboro Baptist Chucrh, known world-wide for their colorful signs that read:  God Hates Fags!  Jews and Catholics are Satan!  The Troops are Fags! — and so many more, are putting on a show at their church auditorium.  This year they have chosen the play RENT. 

RENT is a rock opera with music and lyrics by Jonathan Larson based on Giacomo Puccini‘s opera La bohème. It tells a story of a group of impoverished young artists and musicians struggling to survive and create in New York’s lower East Side in the thriving days of Bohemian Alphabet City, under the shadow of HIV/AIDS.

When confronted with the fact that their strange little church stands against everything that is depicted in the play RENT, a spokesman for the church issued a statement.

“Westboro Baptist knows that priests are vampires and Draculas,” said Pastor Phelps.  ” Catholic priests sucking semen out of other men’s genitals like vampires suck blood from their victims.”

When further pressed about what his statement had to do with the play, Pastor Phelps elaborated.

 “Homosexuals and Jews and idol-worshipping Catholics dominated Nazi Germany,” he said angrily as he hand painted a very colorful sign for the upcoming production.

” The Jews now wander the earth despised, smitten with moral and spiritual blindness by a divine judicial stroke and God has smitten Jews with a certain unique madness.  Jews, thus perverted, out of all proportion to their numbers energize the militant sodomite agenda… Jews are the real Nazis”

Okay, but we still didn’t understand why the church was staging a production that featured some  young homosexual characters and references to sex and AIDS and rebellious youth and religious indifference.

“Oh, you mean the play,” said Pastor Phelps.  “Well. I’ll tell ya, it has some nice catchy numbers and the characters are fun and edgy and zany.  The kids always like that show, especially the young fags who don’t yet know they are fags and still have a chance to be saved before the older fags make them into devil fags. .  We hope they all come out and have a good time.  A lot of soldiers and young fags and Jew loving folks will be there too because we are in a town with both a college and a military base nearby.  Of course they are all fags, but the show must go on.  God hates Fags who don’t go see RENT”

Tickets can be purchased at any funeral service for a soldier killed in Afghanistan or Iraq.  They are $20.00 for adult fags, and $19.50 for Fags who are also Jews.  Children with gay parents get a special price of $5.00.  Non fags are $30.00 because God hates them anyway for one reason or another.

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