Pope Francis, the new Pope who is beloved by the Simpletons of Facebook, has now cranked up the volume of dumbness and put the Facebook morons into blissfully idiotic overdrive.
You see them on your Facebook page, right? The people who say things like, “I’m really digging this new Pope,” and “This Pope makes me want to go back to church.”
I can totally understand the stupidity of Facebook Simpletons — they have an incurable illness, and they are quickly becoming a distinct ethnic group unto themselves.
A Pope, however, is supposed to be smart, or at least wise, or at the very least, he should be able to understand the rules of the job for which he has been chosen.
Recently, Pope Francis made a complete idiot out of himself by publicly excommunicating the Italian Mafia.
Naturally, this extremely dumb edict was greeted with endless Facebook chatter from the community of “Facebook Simpletons Who Share Stupid Shit.”
Those extremely dumb Facebook and email “sharers” totally love this kind of stuff — but it’s stupid and it makes no sense.
Many or most of the Roman Catholics on Facebook have already been excommunicated but they are basically too stupid to know it.
Allow me to explain.
The Pope does not excommunicate people. People excommunicate people.
In other words, if one violates any specific doctrine of the Roman Catholic Church — the rules that call for excommunication — one has excommunicated one’s self. It happens in the blink of an eye without any intervention from anyone.
An unseen hand comes down from heaven and erases you from the eyes of the Roman Catholic Church. You do not exist.
You can go to church all you want and put copious amounts of money in the collection plate, but for all intents and purposes, in the eyes of the church and God, you are not there.
If you have broken any number of endless rules, you are instantly excommunicated. You are a non-person. You are “WASTING WAFERS” as I like to say.
You are, however, still a Catholic. And, you’ll always be Catholic unless you convert to something else — because you were Christened in the Catholic Church. But, as far as the church is concerned, you cannot participate in any of the sacraments and you cannot have a Catholic burial. Sorry, no incense or holy water.
So, what does this all mean? It means — don’t bother showing up in church because you’re not there. You are invisible in the eyes of god.
Let’s first tackle the issue of gay marriage as it pertains to our subject of excommunication since the gay Catholic community seems to be loving this new Pope in spite of the fact that just about all of them have been excommunicated because they are homosexuals. Gay people are not excluded from the community of Facebook Simpletons.
One day Pope Francis says a few nice things about gay people and they all start jumping for joy — it’s lunacy and dumbness.
Catholicism — and just about every religion of the world — does not not allow homosexuality.
It is written off as a grievous sin in the eyes of God even though God is the guy who made a person a homosexual in the first place.
Regrettably, it is correct to say that folks who engage in homosexuality — especially the really annoying and dopey ones — have already been auto-excommunicated. The Pope doesn’t have to announce it on television.
Sorry, honey, but just like Louie B. Mayer said to Joan Crawford when he excommunicated her from MGM studios, “It’s already been done, Joan.”
The Pope made an ass of himself when he spoke kindly of gay people a few weeks after he got the big hat, but it made no sense. How can you speak kindly of people who are thoroughly condemned by the giant organization you lead?
Rules are rules, and unless Pope Franny plans on revamping those rules, he should stop with all of this sanctimonious pandering. Actually, the pandering is tolerable — it’s those who are pandered to and loving it who make me sick.
I am not picking only on the gay community of Facebook Simpletons — it’s a whole lot of people — it’s freaking everybody.
If you have ever violated the loopy 6th and the 9th Commandments as they are applied by the Catholic Church of Rome — and who hasn’t — you are excommunicated. Sorry, Charlie.
Is that so hard to understand though?
Read these two Commandments carefully. These are the ones that automatically get you your pink slip. The Catholic Church has never revoked these rules, and as silly as they are, they still apply.
6 – THOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY.
Human sexual activity — This commandment forbids the actual, physical act of having immoral sexual activity, specifically adultery, which is sex with someone else’s spouse or a spouse cheating on their partner. This commandment also includes fornication, which is sex between unmarried people, prostitution, pornography, homosexual activity, masturbation, group sex, rape, incest, pedophilia, bestiality, and necrophilia.
9 – THOU SHALL NOT COVET THEY NEIGHBOR’S WIFE.
The Ninth Commandment forbids the intentional desire and longing for immoral sexuality. To sin in the heart, Jesus says, is to lust after a woman or a man in your heart with the desire and will to have immoral sex with them. Just as human life is a gift from God and needs to be respected, defended, and protected, so, too, is human sexuality. Catholicism regards human sexuality as a divine gift, so it’s considered sacred in the proper context — marriage.
So, now that you’ve read them carefully, are you an excommunicate? Oooooops! You probably are — if you are a Roman Catholic.
But alas, all is not lost. You can get back in — yes you can — if you are truly sorry for what you’ve done and you repent. But again, think carefully about what is written in those two commandments.
For example: If you are gay, you have to be truly sorry that you are gay. Be mindful of that little gay fact before you dive into months of confessions and Papal indulgences. If you ever go gay again — or if you ever even think about a guy in a bulging speedo — YOU’RE OUT!
Do you see the dumbness now? Do you see that the Pope’s TMZ style of excommunication is dumb and self-serving? Do you see how the whole concept of excommunication is dumb?
If you are a Catholic and you are currently practicing all of the rules of the Catholic Church, the odds are that you are either dead or in a deep coma.
Note to Pope Francis — SHUT UP. You are making a fool out of yourself.
This article was inspired by this Facebook post I stumbled upon from someone who is not a simpleton. Here is that post.
David D. Mattia : Pope Francis — essentially a false idol — has publicly excommunicated the Italian Mafia. But, the Italian MAFIA, if you follow the rules of excommunication, has already been excommunicated and they don’t even know it — and the Pope obviously doesn’t know it either.
This Pope is getting real popular by pandering to the dumbness of the masses — so to speak.
All “MAFIA” and GANGS and CROOKS — Mexican Mafia, Russian Mafia, Crips, Bloods. Neo Nazis — they’re already out — but I guess the Pope forget to announce it.
Excommunication is incurred AUTOMATICALLY for certain offenses against the doctrine of the Roman Catholic Church. Simply because the Pope announces it over a public address system does not mean anyone is MORE excommunicated — but I think the public announcement is kind of cute.
Hey, you out there? Are you divorced? Sorry. You’re out!
Are you homosexual or bisexual? You’re out!
Committed adultery ever? You’re out!
Murdered anyone? Didn’t go to to church and forgot to confess? Lusted after anyone? You’re out! You’re out! You’re out!
I have a new slogan for the Catholic Church — “IF YOU HAVEN’T BEEN EXCOMMUNICATED LATELY, YOU’RE PROBABLY DEAD.”