There is a story floating around face book about John Clesse and in this totally fake John Cleese story, we find Cleese talking about the current events involving political and social unrest in Syria — perhaps you’ve seen it? Perhaps it’s been “shared” on your Facebook page by a friend you like and trust?”
Sorry — but it’s a complete hoax. John Cleese never said those words — and he never wrote them either. It started out as a monologue written by another writer altogether. One of the usual suspects is this Hollywood writer — http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3834680/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1 — but he denies it. Since he usually fesses up, we tend to believe him this time.
Of course if you like John Cleese and you hope in your heart of hearts that he actually said what you’ve read on your Facebook page, then you should be happy — happy that you are a mindless simpleton. Keep in mind that most mindless simpletons are indeed often quite happy. Why would they be otherwise? They don’t actually have to know anything. That pattern of knowing nothing is kind of Facebook’s raison d’etre.
So, when you see this message on your Facebook, keep in mind that this witticism has nothing to do with John Cleese and it was actually penned as a joke by another writer and somehow it got passed off as the work of John Cleese.
Again, I must state emphatically — this John Cleese-talking-about-Syria thing is a complete hoax — but let’s keep that as our little secret and see how long these dummies can play “Quotable Quotes” — it’s kind of sad, don’t you think? Here it is in all of it’s inspirational dumbness and stupidity.
John Clesse’s Take on the Syria Situation
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.”
Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the Blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.
The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let’s get the Bastards.” They don’t have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France ‘s white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country’s military capability.
Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”
The Germans have increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbour” and “Lose.”
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from “No worries” to “She’ll be right.” Two more escalation levels remain: “Crikey! I think we’ll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!” and “The barbie is cancelled.” So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.
A final thought – ” Greece is collapsing, the Iranians are getting aggressive, and Rome is in disarray. Welcome back to 430 BC”.
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