A website dedicated to human stupidity and dumbness

Janeane Garafalo Is An Asshole – or – The Rise of the Misfit Gene in Human DNA.

When I see the American flag, I go, ‘Oh, my god, you’re insulting me.’ That you can have a gay pride parade on Christopher Street in New York, with naked men and women on a float, cheering, ‘We’re here and we’re queer!’ – that’s what makes my heart swell. Not the flag, but a gay naked man or woman burning the flag. I get choked up with pride.”  [Janeane Garafalo]   
 
Yes, she said the opening quote at the top of this page.  She said it because she feels that the USA was founded by white slave owners and that we’ve all been duped into believing for over 200 years that the USA is a great nation.
 
“The true misfit is the outcast who now exists because we as a society no longer shun lepers or hunchbacks or people with obvious disease.”  [Damien: TheDamienZone.com]
 
Why do Janeane Garafalo and so many others behave like rebellious and angry pimply teens?  Is it because they are dumb?  That’s a possibility, but Garafalo isn’t dumb per se.  She’s actually quite bright in a not-so-bright way.  She seems to know a little about a lot of things, but when you put the whole package of her knowledge together and let it spew from her mouth, it sounds like you’re listening to someone who heard a thing from a friend who heard it from a friend who was talking to a guy who knows a guy. 
 
In other words, she makes things up to get shock-sound creds the way a Crip or a Blood will try to accumulate street creds.  And, of course,  when you add it all up and then include the fact that she is kind of a frumpy mess who has already ruined any chance of a real show business career aside from her political activism, you wind up with a sour-pussed nobody who could have been, at the very most, a poor man’s Eve Arden.
 
Garafalo likes to use the word “retarded” and on several occasions she has used that word to describe various people she doesn’t like. 
 
Retarded is a word we are not supposed to use these days because people far more enlightened than I have decided that it is a socially insensitive, unkind and antiquated word.  You wouldn’t expect to hear it spill so easily from the mouth of a Calling-Planet-Earth-Mother like Garafalo who thinks that pink parade floats complete with leather bound gay porn stars are iconic visions worthy of filling one’s heart with pride.  
 
Maybe she herself is retarded.  It certainly is a possibility, but she has one thing that few other retarded persons have — she has the “misfit gene.”
 
I have ranted before about that existence of a gene that turns its victims into social misfits.  I believe that such a gene exists and I also believe that even if you recognize it early in a child, there is nothing anyone can do to stop it.  No amount of nurturing will soothe this new genetic predisposition that looms as virulently as those genes that cause cancer, or muscular dystrophy and thousands of other diseases.    And like those terrible scourges, the disease eventually destroys the person in whom it manifests — as well as the people around them.
 
I believe that the misfit gene has been put there by nature to create villains, but not overtly criminal villains mind you.  A murderer or a rapist has a totally different kind of anti-social problem that might in some way be related to the misfit gene, but it’s not the same.  The true misfit is the outcast who now exists because we as a society no longer shun lepers or hunchbacks or people with obvious disease. 
 
Over the years we have become, to some extent,  an accepting society.  The fact that the word retarded is now an “R Word” is ample testament to that fact.   But perhaps nature abhors a society with no outcasts.  Perhaps nature has created the misfit to fill a part of society that must exist — the social class of the misfit.
 
People will argue and say that people like Garafalo have been around for years and there is nothing new about misfits.  There have always been oddballs and weird people with weird ideas.   Lee Harvey Oswald is the first one who comes to mind, but think about it — he became a known misfit in the first and truest modern sense when he committed the one of the most famous  murders in American history.  
 
Oswald may have been nature’s way of introducing the misfit gene to the space-age world.  
 
Then the misfit gene laid low —  despite many manifestations of it becoming obvious in 1969 —   until it gathered momentum in the next generation where those infected would be born into a world where the internet and the blackberry and the Twitter account would help them to find their kindred misfits. 
 
The entire world will be a sanctuary — a misfit colony — not very much unlike the leper colonies of old.  The intellectual hunchbacks and mentally malformed with walk among us.
 
Earth is now a misfit colony and sadly, most of them live in the USA or have come to the USA to earn their fortunes that help to further spread the deadly gene — the Statue of Liberty invites them.  The poem inscribed upon Lady Liberty practically begs for misfits.   The irony is that a statue that evokes visions of freedom and dreams of accomplishment is hated by the misfit.  The further irony is that the statue stood guard while many who harbored the hidden misfit gene floated into the USA in tattered clothes.   
 
Nature seems to gift the misfit with a kind of gumption.  They often become show biz people or activists or politicians.  I imagine that the lord giveth and the lord taketh away.
 
Be wary to note the possibility of your own child being a misfit.  It’s hard for parents to notice it, but it will rear its head early on and by the time the child is a teenager, some aspect of the misfit gene will have caused a family problem.  There is nothing you can do to change it or analyze it.  Nor can any psychiatrist  be called upon to extricated it from the marrow.  The gene is what it is and it can’t be removed. 
 
The best any parent can do is to love the misfit child and teach it to be kind and gentle — like a pet.  Don’t expect to be rewarded for your kindness.  Maybe the misfit will give you a couple of nice grandchildren, but kindly note that the little ones will have another parent who is a misfit as well — unless the kids were made from store bought sperm.  Misfit females like to buy sperm or hire sperm because it’s the misfit thing to do.  The misfit men just marry dopes who are too stupid to know that they are married to a misfit.  If your daughter-in-law is not a dope and is instead just another misfit, your grandchildren have no chance to be normal and it is best to avoid getting to know them as they will only cause you great unhappiness when they grow up.
 
Anyway, Janeane Garafalo is to be cherished because she is a scientific model who should be studied more than reviled.  She can be studied and hopefully someday there will be a cure for the misfit gene.   

 

4 Comments
  1. Well, I think her calling people racist because they disagree with Obama would make her very retarded!

  2. Yes, retarded — and an asshole.

  3. Wow! Love the article D!
    I now understand so many people in my family tree . . . my friends’ family trees . . . everywhere actually! They’re misfits! You gave some advice that i myself will definitely be able to use as well as share with other family of misfits. Maybe we can start a support group. You know, like Alanon is for family of alchoholics . . .
    Thanks for the laughs!

  4. Jilly, I think that’s one of my more high-brow blogs because there was nothing in there that was meant to be funny. I truly believe that there is a gene for misfit-ism. I think if you did a really serious medical study, you would find that these people share other genetic flaws — like a syndrome or something. Pass that article around if you have facebook or something because my hope is that a medical professional eventually stumbles upon it and gives it a once-over. I already have real doctors (not the fake jerky ones I invent) who give me medical advice for certain articles, but this genetic theory is not their line.

    Damien 🙂

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