A website dedicated to human stupidity and dumbness

Lady Gaga Suffering From Rare Balding Disease. Alopecia Totalis.

Lady Gaga is fighting a losing battle with a rare disease and in recent weeks she has gradually revealed the obvious consequences of the disease to her fans.

“Lady Gaga is suffering from a rare auto-immune disease called Alopecia Areata,” said Dr. Kilroy Morgan.

“Alpecia Areata is a disease where the body’s own immune cells kill of the hair follicles.   It happens rather suddenly and in Lady Gaga’s case, all the hair from her head fell out in a few days.  Her eyelashes and eyebrows also fell out as did her body hair.”

TheDamienZone.com learned that Lady Gaga first noticed the problem in Brazil this spring when she noticed that the pubic and thigh hairs that used to protrude from her bikini were no longer pinching her. 

“Gaga assumed that the last wax she got was a really good wax job but then when she took the bikini off in the hotel, all of her pubic hair fell onto the floor of her hotel bathroom, ” said a source close to Lady Gaga.

According to a police report filed by the hotel detectives, a cleaning lady wiped up  the stray clump of hair and tried to sell it on Ebay but was turned down by the bidding website.  Brazilian authorities have arrested the cleaning woman, Carlinella  Montanes (54) and charged her with tampering with bodily waste and attempting to sell prohibited substances through the Brazilian postal system.  Monatanes was not able to make bail of $US7,000 and she is being held in a local jail pending the arrival of relatives from Portugal who plan to pay the bail but must be present to attest to the fact that they will be responsible for monitoring Montanes.

According to the research we did here at TheDamienZone.com, there is very little one can do for the disease, and while it is not fatal, there is only a 10% chance that the hair will grow back.

“Lady Gaga has moved on to the Alopecia Totalis stage now,” said Dr, Morgan. 

“That is to say that the disease has progressed to the point where all her body hair, even the fine downy hair on her arms or legs, is gone.  There is very little chance she will ever get the hair back or if she does get it back it will be patchy and unsightly.  We are going to try cortisone therapy because that sometimes works.  It will cause Lady Gaga to gain weight in her face, but it’s the only chance she has to get her hair back.”

There is no known cause for Alopecia Areata or Alopecia Totalis but some doctors believe that it is caused by stress and sometimes it follows a battle with a viral illness as simple as the flu.  Exposure to radiation causes a similar disease process but the hair will return after the follicles recover from the damage.  Lady Gaga has not been exposed to radiation or anything like that.  Cancer drugs also cause the a similar condition but there is no reason to believe that Lady Gaga is being treated with any cancer drugs or that she has any form of cancer.

“Something turns the immune system against the hair follicles,” said Dr. Morgan.  “If we can stop that we might have a fighting chance to get the disease to reverse itself, but at the moment we are not encouraged because her hair loss is total.

4 Comments
  1. That’s such a lie!!! how could anyone believe that! you can clearly see what she’s wearing there is some kind of skin color hat that makes her look bald!!!

  2. Leonardo — she is losing her hair — she has alopecia totalis — now be a nice little queen and go say a prayer that her hair grows back.

  3. This is so fake. One, she did that as a performance piece on Graham Norton and she was wearing a bald cap. And she didn’t go to Brazil this past spring, actually I don’t think she ever has been to Brazil. Check your sources before writing this bullshit.

  4. Is it as fake as your fake name and fake email, Kayla? Say hello to Laverne and Shirley out there in shit land. She had alopecia areata and recovered from it as most people do. You’re her fucking doctor — asshole!

Leave a Reply