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Osama Bin Laden watched Dancing With The Stars.

“Dancing With The Stars was Osama’s favorite show,” said Abdallah Bin Kalid, one of Bin Laden’s TV repairmen who worked frequently on the 12 inch RCA black and white TV that Osama watched for the six years prior to his death.

“He really liked watching that show and just before he died he asked me if maybe I could get him a color set so that he could get a better look at Ralp Macchio’s toupee.  He loved The Karate Kid and he got a kick out of seeing the former child star now wearing a toupee.  He thought that he could befriend Macchio and then use him to smuggle stuff into the compund by hiding it under Macchio’s wig.  It was a crazy plan but in the end Osama was a pretty crazy guy. ”

So Osama Bin Laden loved to watch Dancing With The Stars and according to sources, he even asked a friend with connections in Hollywood if he could get Kirstie Allie to be his 5th wife, but calls to Kirstie’s agent went unanswered.

“I didn’t think a marriage to Bin Laden would have been a good idea,” said TV super agent Murray Gold-Mammerberg.  “Kirstie’s best feature is her eyes and certainly she would have looked good in a burka, but I thought at the time that this would not be a good career move for her.  I did, however, try to get Macchio’s agent to go along with smuggling cigarettes and DVDs to Bin Laden by hiding them under the kid’s toupee, but the frigging thing is already too high on his head and the drone’s would probably have seen it and photograped it from 50,000 feet.”

2 Comments
  1. Piece of filth little punk

  2. It’s because you live in the poor shitty section of Brooklyn

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